(no subject)
Title: Inori; say a little prayer
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Rating: Pg
Summary: most of the time, it’s even harder to know that you’ll be left alone when the one you love has to leave.
A/n: not a happy piece of writing, really. partially inspired by this song.
1.
When it comes down to it, down to the raw, uncovered depths of his heart, Ohno thinks that he wouldn’t be able to live if Nino wasn’t there. He has never had the chance to put this part of his undying affection for Nino into any practical application; never thought that he might have to. But things happen, of course, things that happen just because they’re a part of life and life is a painful process along with all the joys that may come along with it. (joys like Nino, loving him and being loved right back)
Nino is unnaturally calm, seemingly uncaring, and almost indifferent. He isn’t like he is when Ohno gets too friendly with Jun or Chinen or anyone, for that matter. He isn’t like he is when he’s sad and discouraged or when he can’t seem to get any lyrics to come out. Nino is quiet, lips pursed and fingers digging into the arm of his chair; Ohno’s only sign that he’s upset. But Ohno isn’t sure anymore, what with his life falling apart around him and all.
Nino speaks first, and Ohno is stunned by the normality of it all, and how conscious he is that he never wants Nino gone because it means the loss of so, so much. Let’s go for ramen, Nino says, and stands up. Ohno gets up too, heart numb, and follows Nino out; both of them trying hard to pretend, if only for a while, that things will be the same.
2.
Every moment with Nino now is like stolen time; time that Ohno snatches from death’s grasp and pushes into Nino desperately.
No more, says Nino tiredly, I don’t want to fight anymore.
Ohno yells at Nino. He can’t understand why Nino wants to give up his entire life, his friends, his family, and them. Ohno wants Nino to fight as hard as Ohno is fighting, he wants Nino to win and then they’ll live happily ever after.
But Nino stops fight ting; he just lies there and stares at the walls. Ohno refuses to give up. He sits by Nino every day. Ohno reads Nino his favorite manga, buys Nino’s favorite buns (even though Nino isn’t allowed solid food anymore), tells him about life and the world outside the hospital room. Ohno never stops telling Nino that everything’s going to be okay.
Ohno fights with every fibre of his being, till he’s pale and thin and completely exhausted. Nino hangs by a thread, a thread that’s just seconds away from snapping and fading away with the wind. But there is still hope; Ohno tells himself, as long is Nino is here, still breathing, still loving.
As long as you keep loving me, Ohno tells Nino, I’ll keep on fighting.
3.
I didn’t want you to remember me like this, Nino whispers to Ohno, I wish I could have gone earlier.
Ohno hugs Nino fiercely, strokes Nino’s cheeks and runs fingers through Nino’s hair, tells Nino that there’s still hope. He never wants to let go; because he knows (despite all his strength and all the pretence) that he won’t have a chance to do it anymore. Nino’s hands are almost weightless against Ohno’s palm. Ohno’s heart hurts so bad that he can barely breathe; Nino, his Nino is going to leave.
And it hits Ohno again, harder than ever before, that he’s going to be all alone.
4.
The funeral is held by the sea. Ohno’s heart sinks back into a constant state of numbness. It’s as though he can’t feel for anything anymore, as though he’s really lying with Nino inside the coffin and the him that’s standing beside it is just a shell. Ohno doesn’t look at Nino; he tries to think of months ago when Nino was still healthy and snarky and alive.
Ohno finds that it’s easier to forget that Nino’s gone if he grabs onto an image of Nino in his mind (and he has many of those) and relives it like it’s happening all over again. He does it all the time, everywhere, until he isn’t sure if he’s living or dreaming.
5.
One day, Ohno’s sitting with Nino next to him; the way Nino used to after work on Ohno’s couch in front of the Wii. It feels so real, so, so real and Ohno wishes he could go on pretending forever. Perhaps he’s gone crazy, off centre, because when Nino turns around and faces Ohno and smiles, Ohno can almost swear it’s not a part of his memory.
Oh-chan, Nino says, in his real voice, the one from before he stopped fighting, Oh-chan, keep me in your heart, remember how we used to love, Ohno nods; hasn’t he already done that? But Oh-chan, Nino’s fingers tilt Ohno’s chin downwards, keep me in your heart and move on.
Ohno wants to protest, he wants to make Nino understand that Ohno could never love anyone else but Nino. But Nino’s gone; Ohno blinks and finds himself alone on his couch, television blaring; one Wii controller lying on the coffee table.
6.
That night, Ohno dreams of Nino. He dreams of their first meeting and the first time they kissed. He dreams of fishing trips and anime marathons and of long, nights together. Ohno dreams of the cold sterile doctor’s room, and of painful, weekly checkups. He dreams of nights next to a bed, fingers linked and Nino’s DS discarded on the floor cos his fingers won’t stop shaking. Ohno dreams of last kisses and the parting sigh of I love you.
Ohno wakes to the sound of birds chirping. For the first time in months, Ohno doesn’t glance to the side to insert Nino’s sleeping figure in the space beside him. Ohno gets out of bed, pours himself a glass of milk.
He holds the memory tight in his heart, and finally starts to live.
fin
Ha. Hey look, first real fic posted 8D
So um, I'm sorry that my other fic is locked because of journal locking issues and rl and stuff.
I swear I'll be reposting all that here by the end of the month, so,uh, check back here?
You don't have to add my journal or anything like that.
The fic here isn't locked, so you don't have to join but if you do want updates and stuff, feel free to join/watch
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Rating: Pg
Summary: most of the time, it’s even harder to know that you’ll be left alone when the one you love has to leave.
A/n: not a happy piece of writing, really. partially inspired by this song.
1.
When it comes down to it, down to the raw, uncovered depths of his heart, Ohno thinks that he wouldn’t be able to live if Nino wasn’t there. He has never had the chance to put this part of his undying affection for Nino into any practical application; never thought that he might have to. But things happen, of course, things that happen just because they’re a part of life and life is a painful process along with all the joys that may come along with it. (joys like Nino, loving him and being loved right back)
Nino is unnaturally calm, seemingly uncaring, and almost indifferent. He isn’t like he is when Ohno gets too friendly with Jun or Chinen or anyone, for that matter. He isn’t like he is when he’s sad and discouraged or when he can’t seem to get any lyrics to come out. Nino is quiet, lips pursed and fingers digging into the arm of his chair; Ohno’s only sign that he’s upset. But Ohno isn’t sure anymore, what with his life falling apart around him and all.
Nino speaks first, and Ohno is stunned by the normality of it all, and how conscious he is that he never wants Nino gone because it means the loss of so, so much. Let’s go for ramen, Nino says, and stands up. Ohno gets up too, heart numb, and follows Nino out; both of them trying hard to pretend, if only for a while, that things will be the same.
2.
Every moment with Nino now is like stolen time; time that Ohno snatches from death’s grasp and pushes into Nino desperately.
No more, says Nino tiredly, I don’t want to fight anymore.
Ohno yells at Nino. He can’t understand why Nino wants to give up his entire life, his friends, his family, and them. Ohno wants Nino to fight as hard as Ohno is fighting, he wants Nino to win and then they’ll live happily ever after.
But Nino stops fight ting; he just lies there and stares at the walls. Ohno refuses to give up. He sits by Nino every day. Ohno reads Nino his favorite manga, buys Nino’s favorite buns (even though Nino isn’t allowed solid food anymore), tells him about life and the world outside the hospital room. Ohno never stops telling Nino that everything’s going to be okay.
Ohno fights with every fibre of his being, till he’s pale and thin and completely exhausted. Nino hangs by a thread, a thread that’s just seconds away from snapping and fading away with the wind. But there is still hope; Ohno tells himself, as long is Nino is here, still breathing, still loving.
As long as you keep loving me, Ohno tells Nino, I’ll keep on fighting.
3.
I didn’t want you to remember me like this, Nino whispers to Ohno, I wish I could have gone earlier.
Ohno hugs Nino fiercely, strokes Nino’s cheeks and runs fingers through Nino’s hair, tells Nino that there’s still hope. He never wants to let go; because he knows (despite all his strength and all the pretence) that he won’t have a chance to do it anymore. Nino’s hands are almost weightless against Ohno’s palm. Ohno’s heart hurts so bad that he can barely breathe; Nino, his Nino is going to leave.
And it hits Ohno again, harder than ever before, that he’s going to be all alone.
4.
The funeral is held by the sea. Ohno’s heart sinks back into a constant state of numbness. It’s as though he can’t feel for anything anymore, as though he’s really lying with Nino inside the coffin and the him that’s standing beside it is just a shell. Ohno doesn’t look at Nino; he tries to think of months ago when Nino was still healthy and snarky and alive.
Ohno finds that it’s easier to forget that Nino’s gone if he grabs onto an image of Nino in his mind (and he has many of those) and relives it like it’s happening all over again. He does it all the time, everywhere, until he isn’t sure if he’s living or dreaming.
5.
One day, Ohno’s sitting with Nino next to him; the way Nino used to after work on Ohno’s couch in front of the Wii. It feels so real, so, so real and Ohno wishes he could go on pretending forever. Perhaps he’s gone crazy, off centre, because when Nino turns around and faces Ohno and smiles, Ohno can almost swear it’s not a part of his memory.
Oh-chan, Nino says, in his real voice, the one from before he stopped fighting, Oh-chan, keep me in your heart, remember how we used to love, Ohno nods; hasn’t he already done that? But Oh-chan, Nino’s fingers tilt Ohno’s chin downwards, keep me in your heart and move on.
Ohno wants to protest, he wants to make Nino understand that Ohno could never love anyone else but Nino. But Nino’s gone; Ohno blinks and finds himself alone on his couch, television blaring; one Wii controller lying on the coffee table.
6.
That night, Ohno dreams of Nino. He dreams of their first meeting and the first time they kissed. He dreams of fishing trips and anime marathons and of long, nights together. Ohno dreams of the cold sterile doctor’s room, and of painful, weekly checkups. He dreams of nights next to a bed, fingers linked and Nino’s DS discarded on the floor cos his fingers won’t stop shaking. Ohno dreams of last kisses and the parting sigh of I love you.
Ohno wakes to the sound of birds chirping. For the first time in months, Ohno doesn’t glance to the side to insert Nino’s sleeping figure in the space beside him. Ohno gets out of bed, pours himself a glass of milk.
He holds the memory tight in his heart, and finally starts to live.
fin
Ha. Hey look, first real fic posted 8D
So um, I'm sorry that my other fic is locked because of journal locking issues and rl and stuff.
I swear I'll be reposting all that here by the end of the month, so,uh, check back here?
You don't have to add my journal or anything like that.
The fic here isn't locked, so you don't have to join but if you do want updates and stuff, feel free to join/watch