I'm sorry, but you just don't take an electric saw to a person. That's fucking wrong.

First of all, if anyone's interested in seeing me perform this weekend, I've got 8 shows going on between Friday and Sunday.

Friday ( Read more... )

My brother's starting college as a sophomore. I'm starting life as a failure.

In the category of shit that both interests me and creeps me the fuck out is this Wired article about scientists trying to grow meat in a lab.My favorite "Holy Shit Year 3000 Terror" line is "'You'd need a bunch of industrial-size bioreactors,' says Matheny. 'One to produce the growth media, one to produce cells, and one that produces the meat ( Read more... )

Fucking Bertuzzi for Luongo? What?

Golly McFolly. I'm booked for a little over 30 comedy shows in July. I feel kind of bad, too, because the guy who books me needed me some days more than others. He really wanted me to work the first weekend of July, something I would've done, but I haven't seen Vicky in an extremely long time ( Read more... )

101-100, Heat 3-2. Shouldn't have planned that parade, Dallas.

After stumbling around like a drunk virgin with a prom date, I've sort of set up a link between Drucker Brothers and my old/new blog And Hilarity Ensues.. I've given Dan full access so we should get a lot more stuff on there now.

Check it out for my newest (which still needs work) joke.

I'm now scheduled to be performing at the Improv about 4-5 days out of the week, 2 shows a night. Badass. I'm amazed at how big a jump I've made in the past three months compared to the past year. I think I've just broken through a lot of writing barriers which were keeping me back. Now, to get an agent...

This freelance TV job I've got for ABC requires me to watch a ton of TV which, should sound fun. But I've just watched 3 hours of shitty cable comedy talk shows on E! and G4 and I'm nearly ready to never watch TV again. Thank God I bought Zuma for my cellphone elsewise my watching would just be suicidal. Oy. I've got a ton of TV to watch before ( Read more... )