(no subject)
Title: Sisters.
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Note: Written for yhlee for springfluff -- go join, y'all!
Synopsis: Friends who slay together stay together.
Characters: All original.
Warnings: Pure, unadulterated fluff.
Spoilers: Either none or for the series end, depending on how you think of it.
The first time someone asked if they were sisters, Rukhsana thought he was gearing up for a racist joke. She staked him through his pasty white heart, but he exploded into dust before she could think of a snappy comeback.
“I need snappy comeback lessons,” she announced.
“Hey! I’m still fighting here!” yelled Yu Jin. She spun around and wheel-kicked the vamp behind her, then decked the vamp in front of her. Both vamps fell, but leaped right back up before she could stake either of them.
The front vamp said, “You don’t need snappy comebacks in Hell!”
“Lucky for you,” said Yu Jin, staking him.
“See, that’s the sort of thing I need to say,” said Rukhsana gloomily.
Tamar rose up silently behind the rear vamp, wooden Star of David in her hand. She shoved it against the small of his back, took a moment to relish the ensuing scream and sizzle, then staked him from behind.
“You’ve got to develop a personal style,” said Yu Jin, flicking lumps of cemetery dirt from her hair. “Tamar doesn’t do wisecracks.”
“You can’t have two strong silent types on a team of three,” said Rukhsana.
Tamar patted her on the shoulder. “I’m sorry there can be only one who’s as cool as me.”
Rukhsana was pleased to see that Tamar didn’t look half so cool soaked in holy water (from Yu Jin) and shaken root beer (from Rukhsana’s midnight snack sack.)
The second time someone asked if they were sisters, they were investigating reports of a probable demon variously described as “A horrible hideous slithering slimy thing” by a shaken waiter, “An eldritch horror” by a hyperventilating customer, and, from the chef at Delizioso, “Have you ever seen what happens when your good-for-nothing help forgets to empty the trash after you run a cuttlefish special? Like that, only 6’7”.”
It was the chef who asked the question. At first Yu Jin thought she was joking. But the very indignant “good-for-nothing help” turned out to be the chef’s little sister from a second marriage, and the waiter turned out to be her adopted brother. None of them were the slightest bit similar other than a tendency toward large gestures and colorful turns of phrase, so in retrospect Yu Jin figured that coming from the chef, it was a perfectly reasonable question.
The calamari demon turned out to be a harmless sqrrrrr-NAKH’TH in search of the fresh fava beans that it needed to cure its spawn-sibling’s cough. Tamar set up a translation spell in the utility shed, and the slayers left it and the chef to their negotiations.
“It feels weird not to do any actual slaying,” Rukhsana remarked.
“I thought it was a nice change,” said Tamar.
“I’m just happy not to be covered in slime right now,” said Yu Jin. “…anyone up for lunch?”
It was remarkable how many restaurants they had to walk past to find one with a completely tentacle-free menu, especially when Yu Jin rejected all fast food restaurants on the basis that any of them might serve cunningly disguised ground-up tentacles. They ended up in an overpriced vegan restaurant which labeled the veggie burger “I am Whole,” the Caesar salad “I am Blissful,” and the black bean soup “I am Goddess-like.”
“I am bitchy,” said Tamar.
“I am PMS-ing,” said Rukhsana.
“I am laughing my ass off,” said Yu Jin. “But not enough to eat here. I think I’m over my tentacle-phobia now, how about you?”
They fled I Am Oneness and returned to Deliciozo. By then it was after-hours and nothing was left but the squid risotto.
“I am tentacles,” said Yu Jin, and bravely took the first bite.
It was deliciozo.
The third time someone asked if they were sisters, Tamar’s ears were ringing so loudly that it took her a moment to take in the question. The vamp they were fighting was so old that it wasn’t even in her book. And like all ancient creatures of evil, it was extra-powerful, lacked the usual weaknesses, and had a pretentious title (The Death of Worlds.)
The D of W knocked Yu Jin out cold, broke Rukhsana’s ankle, and dropped an SUV on Tamar. It looked it was the end of the road.
Then two women appeared from the shadows. One was a chubby blonde with a brace on one leg, and the other was lean and going gray. The younger woman used a crossbow to drive the D of W to her friend, who fought more traditionally with a stake. The two of them kicked the D of W from corner to post. They didn’t manage to stake him, but they did beat him till he fled without even bothering to make a final wisecrack or threat. Tamar was impressed.
“Do your friends need help?” asked the slayer with the silvery cornrows.
“Or are they your sisters?” asked the slayer with the blonde curls.
“We’re sisters,” said Tamar. “Just like you.”
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Note: Written for yhlee for springfluff -- go join, y'all!
Synopsis: Friends who slay together stay together.
Characters: All original.
Warnings: Pure, unadulterated fluff.
Spoilers: Either none or for the series end, depending on how you think of it.
The first time someone asked if they were sisters, Rukhsana thought he was gearing up for a racist joke. She staked him through his pasty white heart, but he exploded into dust before she could think of a snappy comeback.
“I need snappy comeback lessons,” she announced.
“Hey! I’m still fighting here!” yelled Yu Jin. She spun around and wheel-kicked the vamp behind her, then decked the vamp in front of her. Both vamps fell, but leaped right back up before she could stake either of them.
The front vamp said, “You don’t need snappy comebacks in Hell!”
“Lucky for you,” said Yu Jin, staking him.
“See, that’s the sort of thing I need to say,” said Rukhsana gloomily.
Tamar rose up silently behind the rear vamp, wooden Star of David in her hand. She shoved it against the small of his back, took a moment to relish the ensuing scream and sizzle, then staked him from behind.
“You’ve got to develop a personal style,” said Yu Jin, flicking lumps of cemetery dirt from her hair. “Tamar doesn’t do wisecracks.”
“You can’t have two strong silent types on a team of three,” said Rukhsana.
Tamar patted her on the shoulder. “I’m sorry there can be only one who’s as cool as me.”
Rukhsana was pleased to see that Tamar didn’t look half so cool soaked in holy water (from Yu Jin) and shaken root beer (from Rukhsana’s midnight snack sack.)
The second time someone asked if they were sisters, they were investigating reports of a probable demon variously described as “A horrible hideous slithering slimy thing” by a shaken waiter, “An eldritch horror” by a hyperventilating customer, and, from the chef at Delizioso, “Have you ever seen what happens when your good-for-nothing help forgets to empty the trash after you run a cuttlefish special? Like that, only 6’7”.”
It was the chef who asked the question. At first Yu Jin thought she was joking. But the very indignant “good-for-nothing help” turned out to be the chef’s little sister from a second marriage, and the waiter turned out to be her adopted brother. None of them were the slightest bit similar other than a tendency toward large gestures and colorful turns of phrase, so in retrospect Yu Jin figured that coming from the chef, it was a perfectly reasonable question.
The calamari demon turned out to be a harmless sqrrrrr-NAKH’TH in search of the fresh fava beans that it needed to cure its spawn-sibling’s cough. Tamar set up a translation spell in the utility shed, and the slayers left it and the chef to their negotiations.
“It feels weird not to do any actual slaying,” Rukhsana remarked.
“I thought it was a nice change,” said Tamar.
“I’m just happy not to be covered in slime right now,” said Yu Jin. “…anyone up for lunch?”
It was remarkable how many restaurants they had to walk past to find one with a completely tentacle-free menu, especially when Yu Jin rejected all fast food restaurants on the basis that any of them might serve cunningly disguised ground-up tentacles. They ended up in an overpriced vegan restaurant which labeled the veggie burger “I am Whole,” the Caesar salad “I am Blissful,” and the black bean soup “I am Goddess-like.”
“I am bitchy,” said Tamar.
“I am PMS-ing,” said Rukhsana.
“I am laughing my ass off,” said Yu Jin. “But not enough to eat here. I think I’m over my tentacle-phobia now, how about you?”
They fled I Am Oneness and returned to Deliciozo. By then it was after-hours and nothing was left but the squid risotto.
“I am tentacles,” said Yu Jin, and bravely took the first bite.
It was deliciozo.
The third time someone asked if they were sisters, Tamar’s ears were ringing so loudly that it took her a moment to take in the question. The vamp they were fighting was so old that it wasn’t even in her book. And like all ancient creatures of evil, it was extra-powerful, lacked the usual weaknesses, and had a pretentious title (The Death of Worlds.)
The D of W knocked Yu Jin out cold, broke Rukhsana’s ankle, and dropped an SUV on Tamar. It looked it was the end of the road.
Then two women appeared from the shadows. One was a chubby blonde with a brace on one leg, and the other was lean and going gray. The younger woman used a crossbow to drive the D of W to her friend, who fought more traditionally with a stake. The two of them kicked the D of W from corner to post. They didn’t manage to stake him, but they did beat him till he fled without even bothering to make a final wisecrack or threat. Tamar was impressed.
“Do your friends need help?” asked the slayer with the silvery cornrows.
“Or are they your sisters?” asked the slayer with the blonde curls.
“We’re sisters,” said Tamar. “Just like you.”