Comments | edrik: This union is best before...

edrik

This union is best before...

Jan 29, 2006 18:55

I was just invited to the fiftieth anniversary of old neighbors of mine where they will celebrate their years of happiness by renewing their marraige vows. Does anyone else find doing so under these circumstances odd? I understand a couple renewing their vows after being separated or riding out an affair, but people do this to celebrate their ( Read more... )

Comments 34

ethicalgop January 30 2006, 05:08:29 UTC

My parents did in October for their 25th... but then again they didn't know that was going to happen. They asked our priest in Kenosha to give them a blessing and then he preceeded to have them renew their vows.

I took this pic right after they did.

( ... )

edrik February 1 2006, 17:19:32 UTC

Co-opted into redundancy! How cruel!

shadowzbecoming January 30 2006, 22:56:03 UTC

Many people do not proscribe to the 'till death do you part' stipulation in a nuptual contract. I would imagine that the increase in marriage vow renewal is done to contrast the cultural trends as well as to set a model for immatation.

edrik February 1 2006, 17:03:52 UTC

If they don't proscribe to that notion doesn't seperation or divorce tends to be the result? After all, I know of no couples who got married thinking, "We'll be married for twenty-five years, then see whether or not we want to renew then."

shadowzbecoming February 1 2006, 18:09:10 UTC

Statistically speaking ~50% of marriages do end in divorce. Additionally, not all marriages are dictated by "Till death do you part" cerimoniously, to the best of my knowledge, thouse seem to be limited to highly religious traditions. Handfasting, in particular, is a marriage rite that stipulates a yearly renewal untill otherwise decreed. There are also Civil Unions, which are kin to marriage but maybe less perminant ( ... )

edrik February 3 2006, 02:53:59 UTC

Marriages that use the phrase, "Till death do you part," are specific to certain traditions, true, but the sentiment is not exclusive to those traditions. Marriage, you see, is not about traditions or cultures of any sort. An odd thing about marriage is virtually every culture has some variant of it. Not every culture celebrates birthdays, death-days, or passages into adulthood. I can think of none that do not celebrate marriage, however. The notion is fundamental to the emotions we feel given the right circumstances, it seems ( ... )

Thread 8

Renewing vows? halloco January 31 2006, 00:44:05 UTC

Just another way of saying "I love you", all over again, to that special someone. It's romantic in a way. But then, what's romantic to one couple, may not be for another. It's a "to each their own" kind of a thing, me thinks.

Re: Renewing vows? edrik February 1 2006, 17:12:03 UTC

But it makes no sense...which is fair enough, I suppose. There are a great deal of romantic notions I simply don't prescribe to. One such example is diamonds. I don't understand how buying a crystallized piece of coal whose value is both artificially inflated and has fueled and caused many African wars is a good token of love, but that's just me.

No, by the way, I do not mean to equate the two.

Re: Renewing vows? shadowzbecoming February 3 2006, 17:47:33 UTC

P.s. *dies at "crystallized piece of coal"*

OMGDeadScully!

Please revive with chemistry book. ^_^!

Re: Renewing vows? shadowzbecoming February 3 2006, 17:49:32 UTC

p.s.s. Its value monitarily and economically may be artifitaily inflated.. however.. Its value is merrited, jewelery not with standing.

Vows of a lifetime. princesspride January 31 2006, 15:19:14 UTC

I think its very romantic. Some people feel its a time of looking at the past 50 years of marriage and saying to themselves, "Wholey moley! We really had a great marriage."

Re: Vows of a lifetime. edrik February 1 2006, 17:18:50 UTC

That is what anniversaries are for. Why, though renew something that doesn't expire? As Hal said, to each his own, I suppose. I wouldn't stop someone from doing so. It just seems silly to me.

Re: Vows of a lifetime. halloco February 1 2006, 17:44:08 UTC

"Why, though renew something that doesn't expire?" - Edrik

*slaps forehead*

Perhaps if you look at marriage beyond being just a legally/religiously binding contract between two consenting adults. I mean, it is that, yes... but that's now what those two people at the alter are thinking when they're up there.

Marriage, or rather the idea of marriage, is that it is the pinnacle of love for a couple. The willingness to want to spend every waking moment of your life with another person. It's love man. Love. Your wedding day is supposed to be that pinnacle, the creme de la creme, and overall one of the most wonderfully romantic moments in the life of your relationship. Renewing your vows, is akin to reliving that wonderful moment with the one you love. It's not a mental post it to say, "By the way, just a reminder, we're still hitched.", or a means to say, "I was horrible to you, had affairs, and all around was a big jack-ass. Let's start over!". While people may use it to mean that (because honestly, marriage these days just ( ... )

that pinnacle... princesspride February 1 2006, 18:25:49 UTC

"Your wedding day is supposed to be that pinnacle, the creme de la creme, and overall one of the most wonderfully romantic moments in the life of your relationship."

I respectfully disagree. In my personal oppinion, I fee that that is the idealized consumerism package that advertises .. and panders ... to an uninformed populus. ie. such a thought, while yes is what is 'wanted' and ideal, and seems more akin to a marrige industry (wedding dress manufactures, reception halls, bridal showers, wedding planners,) .. the American Dream. From that stand point, yes, there is no practical reason for one couple to renuew wedding vows, but not all things have practicality in mind when making decissions.

Actually, one might argue that the American consept of Honeymoon is actually that pinnacle, the creme de la creme, and overall one of the most wonderfully romantic moments in the life of your relationship. -if it can be afforded-.

Thread 11

capt_monk February 1 2006, 19:03:05 UTC

this is actually an old tradition. Typically a couple will renew their vows on the 25th and/or the 50th. I don't know exactly why this is traditionn, but it is common among the German and Irish. I believe it's meant as a celebration of the original vows and a testemant to long-lasting relationships and many more happy years to be had after, also i believe there is something about luck in there as well and something about reigniting a spark?

Oh yeahhhhh... halloco February 1 2006, 20:25:06 UTC

I seem to recall the 25th and 50th year tradition behind it. Didn't know it had German and Irish origins though.

"I believe it's meant as a celebration of the original vows and a testemant to long-lasting relationships and many more happy years to be had after, also i believe there is something about luck in there as well and something about reigniting a spark?" - Capt_Monk

Indeed!

Re: Oh yeahhhhh... princesspride February 2 2006, 17:08:42 UTC

I'm not positive if this is a Polish tradition, but my grandparents (mom's side) they had a renewal of vows on their 50th wedding anniversary. Personally Jav I think you are looking too much on the logical part of this. Renewal of vows is not about screw ups, or money, or anything of that sort. Its about emotion! The feeling of being together with someone you love and admire and fulfillment of really having a true connection with that significant other. When a couple renews their vows they do it not for anyone else, but for themselves.

Re: Oh yeahhhhh... edrik February 3 2006, 02:19:53 UTC

I should hope that was the case when they first said the vows as well. Also, I didn't mean a couple renewing their vows was about screw-ups, but rather rather about re-affirming, after things have gone bad, that they are indeed still dedicated to each other, and so plan on spending their rest of their days with one another.

Thread 9