Her Diary, But It's All About You [6/?]
Title: Her Diary, But It's All About You [6/?]
Author: eeJHan
Rating: PG-13 for the whole series
Genre: Teen Angst, Drama
Focus: Jonghyun
Pairing: OneSided!JongKey
Word Count: 1,489 words
Summary: Lizann is in the hospital, and she receives love from two of her best friends.
No amount of words can account for the sadness I feel right now. I stood watching as the love of my life and my good friend was slowly getting together. Yes, I do regard Zanny as my good friend, and even best girl friend, at that. But still, I could not hate her, despite all the hurt and hate I feel. This only proves one thing.
Jonghyun is a guy. He is a normal guy. And he would not be as dumb as I am to fall in love with a guy, not mentioning me.
I thought I had this special place in his heart, and he regarded me more that the other members. I guess I was wrong. I was very wrong.
After cleaning up my face in the toilet, I went back to the room, trying very hard to keep my emotions in. I have to be happy for Zanny; Jjong is a great guy, and I am not going to affect their relationship.
“Oh Kibum you’re back! Where did you go?” I bellowed when Key finally made his way back to the room. Disappearing was not an option!
“Oh, I just went after the doctor for more information on Zanny’s condition. You know, I almost made it to medical school,” Key replied. He was proud of his study efforts as well, although because of SHINee he chose to give up the opportunity to the best Korean medical school.
“Yah, yah, you and your medical school crap. What did the doctor say?” I scoffed at his arrogance, but Zann was really in awe. “He said she is fine, and it is unlikely that she contracted tetanus because she was given the shot. It is more likely to be an inflammation-induced fever, and also not taking care of herself recently.” He said in a manner like he recited it right from a book.
Oh sheesh, what a nerd.
“Zanny, are you feeling better?” I went up to her, truly concerned. She did not speak; instead she nodded her head subtly. “Zann, are you hungry? I’m going to get some food from the canteen. Want some?” Jjong stood up and headed for the door. “Kibum, what about you?”
“No, Hyun, I’m fine. Kiki, do you want anything?” She looked at me, with a hint of sorrow in her eyes. “Nope I’m fine too. Go get something to eat then, Jjong.” I smiled back at Jjong, who was still waiting at the door.
“Alright then, don’t do anything funny behind my back.” Jjong eyed us suspiciously like how a father would worry about his daughter and her boyfriend alone in the house. I threw a pillow at him and heard him laugh out loud while he was walking down the corridor.
Silence descended between us both. I sat beside the bed, playing with the sheets. I’m really trying hard not to cry.
“I’m sorry, Kiki,” Zanny broke the silence with a tiny whimper. “I didn’t mean to do that just now… “
Tears started rolling down her pale face. I panicked and wiped them away instantly. “What are you talking about? Don’t be sad! Why did you apologize?” Although I knew what she was talking about, I pretended that I didn’t because I didn’t want her to feel my pain.
“I shouldn’t have been that close with Hyun just now, it’s like I mean to laugh in your face. You know that I didn’t mean to right, I didn’t mean to!” She cried like a child that was blamed for things that she did not do. Yes, I knew how she felt, and that is exactly why I did not want to bring this up.
“Silly girl! Nothing would have happened without Jjong, he was the one who started it.” I smiled bitterly, trying hard to feel happy for them. “You couldn’t see it but he was totally so anxious about how you are. He likes you, Zanny.”
Tears fell even harder after my words like a broken tap, and I really don’t know what to do. “But you are feeling terrible inside! Cry with me, I don’t like to feel so guilty! Don’t keep it inside you! I’m sorry this happened, and I won’t like him from now on, I promise!” She started to babble nonsense right now. I laughed and shrugged it off.
“Zanny dear… How is it possible that you would not like him? Please, don’t make me the culprit for keeping you two apart. Please be together with Jjong and make him happy. And make yourself happy.” I looked at her straight in the eye, and made sure that she knew that I wasn’t joking.
“But…”
“Nope, there’s nothing to say ‘but’ for. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” I hugged her and patted her back for her to calm down. “You have asthma right? Please calm down or else you would induce another asthmatic attack, and I have to explain to Jjong about what happened, and it won’t be pretty.” I said jokingly and I heard her chuckle behind my back.
“Fine?” I grabbed her by the shoulders and demanded her to reply me back. “Fine.” She smiled.
“God, I really don’t know you, Kiki,” She said in awe. “You were in medical school?”
“Oh God, I thought we were long past that!” I pretended to faint from the topic.
“Oh come on, I have to know you better!”
September 17 2009
Yesterday was hectic, and lots of events happened.
To keep the story short, I fainted because of fever while waiting for Hyun and it resulted in hoo-ha to send me to the hospital and such.
Blank memory from 6.30pm to 10.30pm; refer to Hyun and Kiki for details. : D
Hyun was really sweet to me after I woke up, and I felt a little like I had a boyfriend. Not that I know how it feels to have a boyfriend, but still, I felt happy.
However, I didn’t know I was hurting Kiki right from the start already. I’m sorry Kiki!
Apologized to him when Hyun went off for some supper, I guess because of what happened to me he forgot to have dinner. I broke down crying while I apologized, but I still feel really bad. Kiki insisted that he was fine, but I knew he’s not.
For Kiki, I really can try to stop liking Hyun.
Hyun and Kiki accompanied me the rest of the night, and they tried their best to hide from the guards’ on shift. But they forced me to sleep when I wasn’t sleepy!
I guess that’s just how it’s like to have two amazing friends that are like elder brothers with you.
Hyun sent me home with Kiki once I was discharged from the hospital, and the two kept nagging at me to take more rests at home. “I’ll visit you with lunch later okay? Or maybe dinner too, depends if I’m free.” Hyun smiled and squeezed my shoulders a little.
“Okay, okay, you’re like my mum,” I complained as he nagged, and he raised complaints right away too. “But Kibum is the umma! Not me!” I laughed as Kiki slapped his arm at that remark.
“Take a good rest, I’ll call in on you later.” Kiki hugged me just before they left the house.
Okay, since I’m done with my entry, I think it’s time I get some rest. (:
I let out a sigh of relief as we left Zann’s apartment. I don’t know why I felt so relieved all of a sudden.
“Man, you were really feeling uptight, right?” Key laughed as he watched me sigh. “You must be really worried.”
“Nah, nothing of that sort. You know, we’re like, friends…” I tried to deny what he was about to suggest, but I got more and more sheepish as I went on with my words. Indeed, I cannot pretend that I’m still treating her like a friend already.
“Gosh, I should have brought a camera along yesterday, and capture all the worried, jealous, and angry expressions. Maybe then you will know you don’t only treat her as a friend. It’s something more, Jjong.” Key’s tone was half-joking, but I knew he really meant what he said.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. Like yesterday, I don’t know why am I so uptight about her when she told me about how she hurt herself. I felt like, I needed to protect her from all these things that would probably happen again.”
“Now, guess what? This is exactly how you feel. You want to protect her, dude. You know what that means?”
Well, I know it’s time for some hardcore thinking session.
Of course I know what it means. You don’t feel like protecting anybody on the streets, unless you’re a Casanova or Mother Theresa. It means you like her, Jjong.
And it also means that we are beyond possible.
Author: eeJHan
Rating: PG-13 for the whole series
Genre: Teen Angst, Drama
Focus: Jonghyun
Pairing: OneSided!JongKey
Word Count: 1,489 words
Summary: Lizann is in the hospital, and she receives love from two of her best friends.
No amount of words can account for the sadness I feel right now. I stood watching as the love of my life and my good friend was slowly getting together. Yes, I do regard Zanny as my good friend, and even best girl friend, at that. But still, I could not hate her, despite all the hurt and hate I feel. This only proves one thing.
Jonghyun is a guy. He is a normal guy. And he would not be as dumb as I am to fall in love with a guy, not mentioning me.
I thought I had this special place in his heart, and he regarded me more that the other members. I guess I was wrong. I was very wrong.
After cleaning up my face in the toilet, I went back to the room, trying very hard to keep my emotions in. I have to be happy for Zanny; Jjong is a great guy, and I am not going to affect their relationship.
“Oh Kibum you’re back! Where did you go?” I bellowed when Key finally made his way back to the room. Disappearing was not an option!
“Oh, I just went after the doctor for more information on Zanny’s condition. You know, I almost made it to medical school,” Key replied. He was proud of his study efforts as well, although because of SHINee he chose to give up the opportunity to the best Korean medical school.
“Yah, yah, you and your medical school crap. What did the doctor say?” I scoffed at his arrogance, but Zann was really in awe. “He said she is fine, and it is unlikely that she contracted tetanus because she was given the shot. It is more likely to be an inflammation-induced fever, and also not taking care of herself recently.” He said in a manner like he recited it right from a book.
Oh sheesh, what a nerd.
“Zanny, are you feeling better?” I went up to her, truly concerned. She did not speak; instead she nodded her head subtly. “Zann, are you hungry? I’m going to get some food from the canteen. Want some?” Jjong stood up and headed for the door. “Kibum, what about you?”
“No, Hyun, I’m fine. Kiki, do you want anything?” She looked at me, with a hint of sorrow in her eyes. “Nope I’m fine too. Go get something to eat then, Jjong.” I smiled back at Jjong, who was still waiting at the door.
“Alright then, don’t do anything funny behind my back.” Jjong eyed us suspiciously like how a father would worry about his daughter and her boyfriend alone in the house. I threw a pillow at him and heard him laugh out loud while he was walking down the corridor.
Silence descended between us both. I sat beside the bed, playing with the sheets. I’m really trying hard not to cry.
“I’m sorry, Kiki,” Zanny broke the silence with a tiny whimper. “I didn’t mean to do that just now… “
Tears started rolling down her pale face. I panicked and wiped them away instantly. “What are you talking about? Don’t be sad! Why did you apologize?” Although I knew what she was talking about, I pretended that I didn’t because I didn’t want her to feel my pain.
“I shouldn’t have been that close with Hyun just now, it’s like I mean to laugh in your face. You know that I didn’t mean to right, I didn’t mean to!” She cried like a child that was blamed for things that she did not do. Yes, I knew how she felt, and that is exactly why I did not want to bring this up.
“Silly girl! Nothing would have happened without Jjong, he was the one who started it.” I smiled bitterly, trying hard to feel happy for them. “You couldn’t see it but he was totally so anxious about how you are. He likes you, Zanny.”
Tears fell even harder after my words like a broken tap, and I really don’t know what to do. “But you are feeling terrible inside! Cry with me, I don’t like to feel so guilty! Don’t keep it inside you! I’m sorry this happened, and I won’t like him from now on, I promise!” She started to babble nonsense right now. I laughed and shrugged it off.
“Zanny dear… How is it possible that you would not like him? Please, don’t make me the culprit for keeping you two apart. Please be together with Jjong and make him happy. And make yourself happy.” I looked at her straight in the eye, and made sure that she knew that I wasn’t joking.
“But…”
“Nope, there’s nothing to say ‘but’ for. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” I hugged her and patted her back for her to calm down. “You have asthma right? Please calm down or else you would induce another asthmatic attack, and I have to explain to Jjong about what happened, and it won’t be pretty.” I said jokingly and I heard her chuckle behind my back.
“Fine?” I grabbed her by the shoulders and demanded her to reply me back. “Fine.” She smiled.
“God, I really don’t know you, Kiki,” She said in awe. “You were in medical school?”
“Oh God, I thought we were long past that!” I pretended to faint from the topic.
“Oh come on, I have to know you better!”
September 17 2009
Yesterday was hectic, and lots of events happened.
To keep the story short, I fainted because of fever while waiting for Hyun and it resulted in hoo-ha to send me to the hospital and such.
Blank memory from 6.30pm to 10.30pm; refer to Hyun and Kiki for details. : D
Hyun was really sweet to me after I woke up, and I felt a little like I had a boyfriend. Not that I know how it feels to have a boyfriend, but still, I felt happy.
However, I didn’t know I was hurting Kiki right from the start already. I’m sorry Kiki!
Apologized to him when Hyun went off for some supper, I guess because of what happened to me he forgot to have dinner. I broke down crying while I apologized, but I still feel really bad. Kiki insisted that he was fine, but I knew he’s not.
For Kiki, I really can try to stop liking Hyun.
Hyun and Kiki accompanied me the rest of the night, and they tried their best to hide from the guards’ on shift. But they forced me to sleep when I wasn’t sleepy!
I guess that’s just how it’s like to have two amazing friends that are like elder brothers with you.
Hyun sent me home with Kiki once I was discharged from the hospital, and the two kept nagging at me to take more rests at home. “I’ll visit you with lunch later okay? Or maybe dinner too, depends if I’m free.” Hyun smiled and squeezed my shoulders a little.
“Okay, okay, you’re like my mum,” I complained as he nagged, and he raised complaints right away too. “But Kibum is the umma! Not me!” I laughed as Kiki slapped his arm at that remark.
“Take a good rest, I’ll call in on you later.” Kiki hugged me just before they left the house.
Okay, since I’m done with my entry, I think it’s time I get some rest. (:
I let out a sigh of relief as we left Zann’s apartment. I don’t know why I felt so relieved all of a sudden.
“Man, you were really feeling uptight, right?” Key laughed as he watched me sigh. “You must be really worried.”
“Nah, nothing of that sort. You know, we’re like, friends…” I tried to deny what he was about to suggest, but I got more and more sheepish as I went on with my words. Indeed, I cannot pretend that I’m still treating her like a friend already.
“Gosh, I should have brought a camera along yesterday, and capture all the worried, jealous, and angry expressions. Maybe then you will know you don’t only treat her as a friend. It’s something more, Jjong.” Key’s tone was half-joking, but I knew he really meant what he said.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. Like yesterday, I don’t know why am I so uptight about her when she told me about how she hurt herself. I felt like, I needed to protect her from all these things that would probably happen again.”
“Now, guess what? This is exactly how you feel. You want to protect her, dude. You know what that means?”
Well, I know it’s time for some hardcore thinking session.
Of course I know what it means. You don’t feel like protecting anybody on the streets, unless you’re a Casanova or Mother Theresa. It means you like her, Jjong.
And it also means that we are beyond possible.