when everything gets lonely I can be my own best friend

[eekelseek]

today was the day we had the spaghetti lunch and auction for spilira. we raised 1400ish dollars, and that doesn't count the communion offering. we needed 2000. I think we got it, that is good. We auctioned ourselves off, that was fun. Pastor Bill bought me, I get to plant flowers with his wife. I'm actually excited. I love planting flowers

Comments

[witty_comment]

i'm worried about you. it seems to me you've become obsessed with these online communities about anorexia and eating dissorders. you have to know that these girls aren't in their right minds. they aren't. anorexia is a disease. there's something wrong with them. it's not a choice. you're choosing to have an eating dissorder. it's not healthy. please think it through. it's so not worth it.

[eekelseek]

I am not chosing to have an eating disorder. I was just happy with myself that I could do it. I didn't think I could, and I felt like a miserable fat girl who couldn't even go 24 hours without getting her grubby hands on some food. I just want to have controll over my body. Not workout and hope for the best. I think if I eat better, and less, and workout a bit more, I could be on the right track. eh. I don't think I'm obsessed. I just read them and thought it was interesting. I give them kudos, they know what they want and they are achieving it. They found what will make them happy, and they are actually acting on it. Seems they know what's up, I don't think that is what would be the key to my happiness. I'm just working things out. I couldn't be anorexic, I'm too food oriented, silly. Did you not see me stuffing my face today? <3

[witty_comment]

it's never enough. i'm friends with these girls. none of them are ever satisfied. they know what they want? yeah okay. you made the communities you've been looking at seem way extreme. these girls sound like freaks. nevermind. you've made up your mind. just, if you become one of those girls, please don't keep me updated on your latest fast or binge, seriously, i worry about you as it is. i know what these girls do isn't healthy, but i'm afraid you don't see it as unhealthy.

[eekelseek]

did you not get the part where I said, " I couldn't be anorexic," ? ? I just want to do better. I found a website that helps you keep track. You enter your food into it, it even looks up the info for some things. It tells you what you got in the day and what you need and stuff. It also tells you how where you are as far as your typical weight and such. It lets you set a goal. Does that make you happy? I do not have any plans to become a radical ana girl nor do I have plans to puke up my food up after I eat it. Just plans to see what I'm doing wrong and fix it. Work out more. Eat less. Eat better.