the way you haunt my dreams no they can't take that away from me
title: the way you haunt my dreams no they can't take that away from me
genre: romance
pairing: kai/krystal
words: 508
summary: jongin wasn't comfortable with acting and pretending.
note: reposting from aff.
There were instances when Jongin wanted to hold Soojung’s hand on stage. All he ever wanted to do was grab her hand, hold it tight and show it to everyone-to the world, that she was his and that he was hers. He was always the impulsive one, despite his known shyness, and even the braver one, despite Soojung’s strong character. He wanted to do a lot of things with her really but the public wouldn’t really take it positively and he was afraid of getting bullied by Soojung’s fanboys. So he settled for silent glances instead.
It was easy. Soojung could be found almost impossibly near him. Behind him, in front of him, two people in between them, four feet apart… she was so close, so close and still so far. But Jongin was fine with that. Seeing her from afar was better than not seeing her at all.
There were times when they would meet each other’s gazes, hold it for one, two, three seconds and look away afterwards. During those times, Jongin wanted to smile, grin and jump for joy but he always settled for indifference. It was the safest expression an idol should master, she said once.
It was hard at first-not being able to act naturally around her. He felt as if he signed being an actor instead of becoming a singer. Jongin wasn’t comfortable with acting and pretending. He also wasn’t comfortable seeing Soojung with Jonghyun. He had to act nonchalant about it though because he was an idol and he trusted Soojung.
They were told once that they were obvious. A lot of the older ones commented on their “casual” attitude. That Jongin stares at Soojung too much (Amber) or Krystal-ssi, your neck will snap if you keep twisting them (Chanyeol). They weren’t exactly hi we are a couple obvious but they should still watch your actions. You’re both young and your career is ahead of you.
It wasn’t fair. People tell him to do this and do that but he never gets to do the things he wants. Too many people were in his head and in his ass, instructing him to be good and be polite, trying to catch him do something stupid and fail. He seemed to be more of a prisoner than an artist now that he thought about it.
But he was here now, wasn’t he? He was living the dream, standing in a sea of people chanting his name despite the fact that he was only some boy in a band who came out recently. More importantly, he was here standing beside Soojung in front of everyone. And even if they weren’t talking or being sweet, for Jongin it was enough. As long as they were together, he would accept everything life would give them, whether good or bad, and he would make the most out of it.
“Kai, your hand?” Soojung held hers out and smiled. As he grab her extended hand and as they all bowed, Jongin thought that yes, this was enough.