Thorn Lily Chapter 13 Part 1
As promised, here's chapter 13! This is actually one of my favourite chapters <3
"How dare you look for Yunho even now!!"
Do mothers have to use such force when hitting their sons? It's been at least half a year since she last saw me. Considering how hard she slapped me, she must be in good health, but somehow she looks a lot older than I remember her to be.
I really don't wish to remember these things because they'll just give me breathing difficulties. It's not as i I'll never go home ever again, and I'm the child you carried in your womb for 10 months. I bit my lips; compared to the sting on my cheeks, my heart hurts much more... my heart which had only hurt for Yunho until now.
What's wrong with me looking for Yunho? Probably because I did so many wrong things in the past, I shouldn't even be able to face him, and that he's already married with a baby on the way. So my mother's mindset and mine are really complete polar opposites. She's still treating me like I'm a normal man - has she forgotten that I'd been locked away in a sanatorium before? Of course I'll come looking for Yunho. No matter what happened in the past, my love for Yunho will never change!
"Do you really want to drive your mother to her grave!?"
"......"
"There has to be a limit on the amount of shame you can bring to our family. Do you want me to send you back there!??"
"......"
"Ill-mannered brat! Still clinging to him!??"
I kept my silence as she unleashed a torrent of harsh words on me. She raised her hand to slap me again, but my uncle stopped her and whisked her away to another room before she could continue abusing me. When he walked out of the room, his expression was grave but I know he's only keeping up appearances. He doesn't want to help me at all! What a revolting man.
This revolting place! It's even worse than the sanatorium! Even if it felt as if I was dragged back to hell, you have no right to interfere though you're my uncle!
My uncle forced me to stay in the second-floor bedroom while he brought my mother downstairs. The room had a very large window, but the window was barred. I stood next to the window and drew the curtains, feeling the cool summer breeze. All along, this house had always used its eerieness to contain me, but it's all because of her unpleasant presence. I started to miss Yunho's house, because that's where Yunho lives, where my beautiful Yunho breathes.*
"So you escaped here?"
"Yes, noona." (A/N: Noona = elder sister)
I haven't seen this face in a long time, and now this face is filled with disdain. I've never been close to my sister. As I walked over and sat next to her, I realized that women look scarier as they grow older!
"The days without you have certainly been much more peaceful..."
"Get out! I don't want to see your face!"
"You brat!"
"I've already greeted you. Who cares if I haven't seen you in a long time!"
"You haven't changed at all!"
"Neither have you!"
I leaned in and caught a scent of her face, and immediately went back to my seat.
"Since when have you started putting on make up? Your whole face looks different!"
"I don't have time for silly things like that! I'm a busy person!"
"Or did you go for surgery...? It doesn't matter. I'm still prettier than you!"
Watching her clench her jaw in anger, I couldn't help laughing out loud. This made her even angrier. Do you want to hit me? Have you forgotten that I'm still a man after all.. Ah!!
"Scoundrel! Picking a fight with me!?"
"Ah! Let go of me, Kim Jae-in!"
"Asshole!"
"So what if you're the older one...ah!?"
She pinched my face hard, and it hurts so much that I couldn't help but cry out loud. What did I do wrong!? You're going to be screwed if Yunho sees this!
"I think you don't know what pain is, do you? Hm?"
You won't understand even if I tell you!
Just then, my uncle walked in as she pinched me even harder. He shot us a glance before sitting down on the sofa, and my sister let go of my face. Even though I'm not really his nephew, I still sat next to him like a good boy, propping my face on my hands like I'm bored.
"We're sending you overseas."
"What!? No!!"
"Listen! This is your mother's wish!"
"Sending me overseas to study when I'm already 27? You think you can settle everything with money!?"
"Stop fooling around and be good!"
"...Yeah I know, be a good boy..."
After a few exchanges, I ended up negotiating with him about the same things over and over again. Senile old man!
"Yunho's coming along too!"
He closed his eyes in exasperation, frowned, and gave a deep sigh. He looked just like someone who didn't win the lottery; it makes me want to laugh!
"Stop being so immature. You're already 27 and you're still giving us so much trouble!"
"You're always like this! Treating our love like it's some child's play! I hate you!!"
"Then stop behaving this way! Do you really think that love can erase all the mistakes you made?"
Ah! He's using my sin to push me into such an unfavourable position. Why is everyone using this to restrain me? Where did I go wrong in my love? What's not normal about it? I just want to love someone whole-heartedly, and Yunho's readily accepted me... but why?
Did he... really? Can Yunho ever accept me?
He could accept my body, but will he ever say that he loves me?
When I realized that I don't know the answer to that, I felt my whole body grow cold. It feels as if there's a fearsome claw grabbing my throat. I don't know... will he come and look for me immediately? But why isn't he here yet? I don't have a clue.
"It's dinner time."
I feel like throwing up again as I prepared to go downstairs. It's 7pm... the time we usually eat dinner, so different from people living in a trance like me. They have such orderly lives, going about the same things in the same sequence everyday, all for profits and personal benefits.
I went down to the first floor in an irritable mood. Mother ordered me to sit down while my sister, who's on a diet, didn't have to eat with us. Uncle's sitting right next to me. Am I still part of the family?
"I hear she's pregnant."
The unexpected mention of Suh-hee from my mother caught me by surprise. She continued eating as if nothing as happened, as if she's already anticipated my reaction.
"It's a girl."
"Really?"
"Yup, I guessed it."
What on earth is mother thinking? Is she hoping that it'll be a boy? Are daughters inferior to sons? They exist for different reasons! Just like the difference between the love that my mother and Jung Yunho has for Kim Jaejoong.
After dinner, I returned to the room to continue staring at the scenery outside. If only I could jump down, vault over the wall and escape, but I'm already 27 so it's difficult for me to accomplish stunts like what I used to be able to do. If it were my 20-year-old self I'd probably have dared to just jump down like that, I suppose? Ageing is such a fearsome thing!
I sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the bed post. Suddenly I found myself longing for Yunho's lips. How I wish I could just escape from the cruel reality now. I looked up at the twilight sky outside my window and, like a miracle, the roaring sound of a car engine reached my ears...
"......!"
*Note: I changed the meaning here because there seems to be some sort of discontinuity with the Chinese version. It appears as if Jaejoong was dragged back to his old house (I mean, you can't possibly have dinner at someone else's house without their consent right) but for this particular line, in the Chinese version, Jaejoon referred to this house as "Yunho's house". Which is weird.
"How dare you look for Yunho even now!!"
Do mothers have to use such force when hitting their sons? It's been at least half a year since she last saw me. Considering how hard she slapped me, she must be in good health, but somehow she looks a lot older than I remember her to be.
I really don't wish to remember these things because they'll just give me breathing difficulties. It's not as i I'll never go home ever again, and I'm the child you carried in your womb for 10 months. I bit my lips; compared to the sting on my cheeks, my heart hurts much more... my heart which had only hurt for Yunho until now.
What's wrong with me looking for Yunho? Probably because I did so many wrong things in the past, I shouldn't even be able to face him, and that he's already married with a baby on the way. So my mother's mindset and mine are really complete polar opposites. She's still treating me like I'm a normal man - has she forgotten that I'd been locked away in a sanatorium before? Of course I'll come looking for Yunho. No matter what happened in the past, my love for Yunho will never change!
"Do you really want to drive your mother to her grave!?"
"......"
"There has to be a limit on the amount of shame you can bring to our family. Do you want me to send you back there!??"
"......"
"Ill-mannered brat! Still clinging to him!??"
I kept my silence as she unleashed a torrent of harsh words on me. She raised her hand to slap me again, but my uncle stopped her and whisked her away to another room before she could continue abusing me. When he walked out of the room, his expression was grave but I know he's only keeping up appearances. He doesn't want to help me at all! What a revolting man.
This revolting place! It's even worse than the sanatorium! Even if it felt as if I was dragged back to hell, you have no right to interfere though you're my uncle!
My uncle forced me to stay in the second-floor bedroom while he brought my mother downstairs. The room had a very large window, but the window was barred. I stood next to the window and drew the curtains, feeling the cool summer breeze. All along, this house had always used its eerieness to contain me, but it's all because of her unpleasant presence. I started to miss Yunho's house, because that's where Yunho lives, where my beautiful Yunho breathes.*
"So you escaped here?"
"Yes, noona." (A/N: Noona = elder sister)
I haven't seen this face in a long time, and now this face is filled with disdain. I've never been close to my sister. As I walked over and sat next to her, I realized that women look scarier as they grow older!
"The days without you have certainly been much more peaceful..."
"Get out! I don't want to see your face!"
"You brat!"
"I've already greeted you. Who cares if I haven't seen you in a long time!"
"You haven't changed at all!"
"Neither have you!"
I leaned in and caught a scent of her face, and immediately went back to my seat.
"Since when have you started putting on make up? Your whole face looks different!"
"I don't have time for silly things like that! I'm a busy person!"
"Or did you go for surgery...? It doesn't matter. I'm still prettier than you!"
Watching her clench her jaw in anger, I couldn't help laughing out loud. This made her even angrier. Do you want to hit me? Have you forgotten that I'm still a man after all.. Ah!!
"Scoundrel! Picking a fight with me!?"
"Ah! Let go of me, Kim Jae-in!"
"Asshole!"
"So what if you're the older one...ah!?"
She pinched my face hard, and it hurts so much that I couldn't help but cry out loud. What did I do wrong!? You're going to be screwed if Yunho sees this!
"I think you don't know what pain is, do you? Hm?"
You won't understand even if I tell you!
Just then, my uncle walked in as she pinched me even harder. He shot us a glance before sitting down on the sofa, and my sister let go of my face. Even though I'm not really his nephew, I still sat next to him like a good boy, propping my face on my hands like I'm bored.
"We're sending you overseas."
"What!? No!!"
"Listen! This is your mother's wish!"
"Sending me overseas to study when I'm already 27? You think you can settle everything with money!?"
"Stop fooling around and be good!"
"...Yeah I know, be a good boy..."
After a few exchanges, I ended up negotiating with him about the same things over and over again. Senile old man!
"Yunho's coming along too!"
He closed his eyes in exasperation, frowned, and gave a deep sigh. He looked just like someone who didn't win the lottery; it makes me want to laugh!
"Stop being so immature. You're already 27 and you're still giving us so much trouble!"
"You're always like this! Treating our love like it's some child's play! I hate you!!"
"Then stop behaving this way! Do you really think that love can erase all the mistakes you made?"
Ah! He's using my sin to push me into such an unfavourable position. Why is everyone using this to restrain me? Where did I go wrong in my love? What's not normal about it? I just want to love someone whole-heartedly, and Yunho's readily accepted me... but why?
Did he... really? Can Yunho ever accept me?
He could accept my body, but will he ever say that he loves me?
When I realized that I don't know the answer to that, I felt my whole body grow cold. It feels as if there's a fearsome claw grabbing my throat. I don't know... will he come and look for me immediately? But why isn't he here yet? I don't have a clue.
"It's dinner time."
I feel like throwing up again as I prepared to go downstairs. It's 7pm... the time we usually eat dinner, so different from people living in a trance like me. They have such orderly lives, going about the same things in the same sequence everyday, all for profits and personal benefits.
I went down to the first floor in an irritable mood. Mother ordered me to sit down while my sister, who's on a diet, didn't have to eat with us. Uncle's sitting right next to me. Am I still part of the family?
"I hear she's pregnant."
The unexpected mention of Suh-hee from my mother caught me by surprise. She continued eating as if nothing as happened, as if she's already anticipated my reaction.
"It's a girl."
"Really?"
"Yup, I guessed it."
What on earth is mother thinking? Is she hoping that it'll be a boy? Are daughters inferior to sons? They exist for different reasons! Just like the difference between the love that my mother and Jung Yunho has for Kim Jaejoong.
After dinner, I returned to the room to continue staring at the scenery outside. If only I could jump down, vault over the wall and escape, but I'm already 27 so it's difficult for me to accomplish stunts like what I used to be able to do. If it were my 20-year-old self I'd probably have dared to just jump down like that, I suppose? Ageing is such a fearsome thing!
I sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the bed post. Suddenly I found myself longing for Yunho's lips. How I wish I could just escape from the cruel reality now. I looked up at the twilight sky outside my window and, like a miracle, the roaring sound of a car engine reached my ears...
"......!"
*Note: I changed the meaning here because there seems to be some sort of discontinuity with the Chinese version. It appears as if Jaejoong was dragged back to his old house (I mean, you can't possibly have dinner at someone else's house without their consent right) but for this particular line, in the Chinese version, Jaejoon referred to this house as "Yunho's house". Which is weird.