(no subject)
Title : Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder
Pairing : NAP, friends!changrick
Rating : R
Warnings: mentions of alleged abuse
Genre : drama, angst, friendship
Summary : Niel and C.A.P can deny it but the members can't continue to hold their suspicions as a rather dirty argument ends up producing visual evidence. Tension has been building for a while between N.A.P couple and their members. Will they turn on the couple they promised to support?
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
There was calmness, or rather relative calmness, which descended upon Teen Top after the incident a week ago. Niel and C.A.P were fighting less, if at all, and it baffled Ricky, really. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t want to trust his eldest hyung. He really did. He respected C.A.P a lot as a leader and he was really cool and manly. But was everything that happened going to be brushed under a rug?
On one hand one could reason that it was all the product of his over active imagination. Niel could have easily had an unlucky clumsy spell that was now over. There could also be that Niel and C.A.P were fighting but they’ve made up and whatever problem L.Joe had intervened in had been solved. But then there was the final possibility that the storm was still in full force and they were merely in the eye of it - a brief calm bringing with it a false sense of security.
Ricky tried to see what Chunji and L.Joe thought of it but there were closed books on the entire situation. He had a distinct feeling it was because he was part of the maknae line, but the flaw in that reasoning was that Niel was in the maknae line too. As far as Ricky was concerned there wasn’t even that much of a difference between the 6 of them anyway. Wasn’t it L.Joe who said they were a free group who didn’t worry about things like age?
Still, Ricky resigned himself to not knowing. It was all just mindless speculation on his part. Proof that things were better was basically smacking him in his face. Sure Niel stil tensed when Minsoo hugged him, but he always had in the first place. Niel wasn’t a fan of public displays of affection and wasn’t normally in the mood for skinship. That’s why it surprised Ricky to see how since the incident Niel was even initiating it.
That was the current state of Ricky’s mind that afternoon when he and Changjo entered the dorm’s living room to see the resident couple making out on the couch.
“Yah!” Changjo groaned, and the couple broke apart. “Get a room! PLEASE!”
Niel just stood, looking only a little embarrassed and pulled C.A.P up as well by the arm.
“Come on hyung,” he pleaded to which C.A.P responded by pulling him closer by the waist and kissing his neck, causing him to giggle.
Changjo sighed, “Hyung.”
“Ok, ok we’re going,” Niel said breaking away and pulled C.A.P to his room.
Once the door slammed Ricky sighed and looked at Changjo, “I kind of don’t want to sit on the couch now.”
“I feel ya,” Changjo laughed. “Your room?”
Ricky nodded and they both went to Chunji and Ricky’s shared room. Ricky flopped himself down onto his bed and Changjo crawled beside him, lying on his side.
“Don’t you think it’s weird that suddenly Niel seems ok with PDA. Normally he hates skinship,” Ricky said.
Changjo shrugged, propping his head on his hand.
“I don’t know. I just figured that he’s just happy they’re not fighting. It’ll die down soon, Changjo said. “And then we’ll have a ton of ammo to embarrass him about when he gets back to normal.”
Ricky cackled, “Right! He always says it’s gross when we tease him a about that but he’s the one kissing Minsoo all over the dorm.”
“I wonder how he’s react to another couple in the dorm.”
“Like who? Oh my god! Like what if Byunghun and Chanhee hyung… ewwww,” Ricky laughed.
“Well the fans did like Daniel and Minsoo and you see what happened there.”
“Yeah, but they were kind of obvious even to us,” Ricky pointed out.
Changjo chuckled, “So do you mean you’ve never thought of it… like those couples. ChunJoe, N.A.P., ChangRick.”
“NO!” Ricky shouted. “No! No! Gross!”
“I’m not that bad!”
“I’m always the girl it isn’t fair!”
“So you mean you have thought of it?” Changjo grinned. “Is that your only problem with it?”
“Of course not!” Ricky said. “I mean… I have lots of problems with it. I’m not gay and besides even if I were you’re too big and stuff.”
“I’m not that big.”
Ricky shot Changjo a look that made the maknae amend his statement.
“Ok, so I’m kinda big. Not my fault. And anyway it’s not like you have a girlfriend or like anyone and I don’t either so it’s not like it’d be the worst thing in the world to kiss me.”
“Wait, what?” Ricky sat up. “Since when were we talking about kissing each other?”
“We weren’t,” Changjo admitted. “But if I had to kiss one of the members I’m just saying I wouldn’t mind if it were you.”
Ricky didn’t know how to react to that oddly placed confession, or whatever you would call it. His face decided it would be best turn red against his will and by the smirk that grew on Changjo’s face Ricky knew the other saw it quite clearly.
“Aw you’re blushing!”
“Am not!” Ricky raised his hands to cover his face.
“Are too! I didn’t know you liked me that much. If you wanted to kiss me all you had to do was ask,” Changjo teased.
“I bet you’ve thought of it more than me! That’s why you saying that!” Ricky said trying to turn it back on Changjo but it didn’t work.
“Well, yeah I’ve thought of it. I’m not going to lie.”
“Aren’t you supposed to get mad?”
“Why would I get mad?”
“Because you’re not gay and I accused you of wanting to kiss a guy,” Ricky said.
“Well… I wouldn’t tell just anyone I wanted to kiss a guy. I’m just telling you. You’re the only one I told and you’re the only want I’d want to kiss. I thought you’d be cool with that,” Changjo frowned.
Ricky was silent for a moment, taking in the things his friend said.
“It’s ok to tell me that,” Ricky finally said. “I don’t mind I guess.”
If he were being honest with himself he’d have to admit he had wondered about strange things as well. He knew that gay people existed but it never became real to him until Niel and C.A.P admitted they were together, and after that Ricky would be a liar if he said he didn’t have a ton of questions that had still yet to be answered. How did C.A.P and Niel know they liked each other? Did it feel different to kiss a guy than it did a girl? What’s the difference between loving your friend and being in love with your friend?
Because as far as Ricky was concerned wouldn’t it be the same if C.A.P and Niel were just friends. Why did they have to add that exta complicated layer to it all? The time he brought it up to Chunji, the older had merely laughed and said he was too young to understand.
But understand what? He was 18 years old. He knew about sex and he’s liked people before, but when it came to his band members how was he supposed to tell between the true feelings of his heart and just hormones of being in such close contact with another person. As far as Ricky was concerned, the natural conclusion was that they’re just friends. If he kissed Changjo then what would it make it? Friends… with benefits?
He felt the blood rushing to his face again and Changjo’s laugh startled him from his thoughts.
“Woah! I didn’t know just saying that would make your mind fly into the gutter!” Changjo said.
“My mind is not in the gutter,” protested Ricky.
“Ok, yeah. That’s why you’re so red, right?”
Ricky rolled his eyes, and smacked Changjo in the shoulder with his pillow.
----
It was later in the night and Ricky woke up from his sleep with the pressure of a full bladder. The entire apartment was dark and Ricky could barely see Chunji’s sleeping form in his bed across the room. He sat up slowly and made his way towards the door with as little noise as possible.
He closed the door as he left and made his way to the bathroom, familiar enough with the dorm to do it all without lights and finally after relieving himself came back out only to notice there was a blue light coming from the living room. He crept in and as expected it was C.A.P sitting up playing on his laptop in the dark with his headphones on his ears.
Ricky was about to turn and leave when C.A.P turned his head in time to see him.
“Who’s there?” C.A.P asked and Ricky stepped forward into his line of vision.
“It’s me, hyung,” Ricky said. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“Soon,” C.A.P said, clicking his mouse rapidly. “You hungry? Let’s eat. Then we can sleep.”
The next few minutes found the pair leaning against the kitchen counter eating microwaved left over lo mein. It was silent but for the sound of their eating and Ricky didn’t expect it to change, especially since C.A.P was always the silent type, along with L.Joe. It seemed C.A.P was full of surprises.
"It's been a while since we ate like this together. We used to be close."
"Yeah," Ricky said.
"When you were smaller and cuter."
Ricky cringed, "Before you and Daniel got together."
“Do you not like me and Niel together?”
Ricky stopped midway to adding food more food his mouth.
“Excuse me, hyung?”
“Why do you disapprove of me and Niel?”
Ricky stammered, “It’s… it’s n,not that I disapprove-“
“Ever since earlier this week I’ve noticed you’ve been watching us or sticking a little closer to Niel. Are you worried about him? We already explained it.”
“Hyung,” Ricky was shocked.. “I didn’t mean to make it seem like I don’t trust you…”
“Well then what?”
Ricky looked down at the plate of food and chewed on his lip. That was a good question. So then what? What was it about the situation that seemed so off for Ricky?
“Changhyun… there is a lot about Niel that you don’t know-“
“And that gives you the right to hit him?” Ricky asked before he could even think about the words that had come from his mouth.
If C.A.P was surprised he didn’t show it.
“I don’t know about you but when I was growing up I didn’t have anyone to help me and I got bullied a lot. You know what my father said to me when I came home crying?”
Ricky said nothing so C.A.P continued.
“
My father said, ‘Minsoo, if anyone, I don’t care who it is, hits you…hit them back.’”
“So?” Ricky asked.
“So… I hit ‘em back,” C.A.P replied with a careless shrug.
He picked up his now empty plate and placed it in the sink.
“Good night. Be sure to get to bed we have schedule in the morning,” C.A.P said.
He left the room, and Ricky alone to ponder the meaning of his words.
-to be continued-
AN-
have a BUNCH of chapters of this already written (up to ch 15). Is it better i space out chapters or just do a dump?
ALSO TOHO TIME tomorrow <333