Heroes: Orientation & Jump, Push, Fall
Is it just me or does "Jump, Push, Fall" sound like a slight variation on the game "Fuck, Marry, Kill?" I'm just not sure what fall represents.
I liked how they started the night by talking about redemption. God knows that I'm hoping for a hell of a lot of redemption from Heroes this season. There's a lot to make up for and now that they're up against "House," well, my patience might be thinner than usual. Still, I promised myself that I would forget old annoyances and start fresh this year. I'm just going to pretend that there is a team of brand new writers who are not responsible for the clusterfuck of last season. I'm feeling very zen.
I don't hate the new team of morally ambiguous carnies. I haven't learned their names yet, so I'll just call them Daphne-with-knives, Dull-Psychic-Girl, and Captain Barbossa. Of the three, Captain Barbossa is the most interesting. Maybe the new Linderman? Anyway, he has the fantastic ability to control tattoo ink. (I hope he also can control other art supplies, or his gift is ridiculously limited. I mean, imagine if he grew up to be a librarian instead of a tattooed carnival barker...he might never have come into contact with tattoo ink at all! But I digress..) Apparently he has to form pictures with it to hurt someone, though, instead of just choking them with the substance of the ink. Again show chooses special effects over sense. Sigh. Anyway, Captain Barbossa is searching for Jack Sparrow's compass in order to find his heart's desire...or something.
Why the hell is there a magical compass on this show? Have we officially given up on any attempt at scientific plausibility? Was there a memo? "Oh, by the way, the powers on this show do not come through the evolution of our genetic material...they're just magic!" Cause if that's the case, just tell me! I can go with it! Juggernaut received powers from some magic talisman thing. There's a precedent. I was just under the impression that the Heroes world was supposed to be like our world. Maybe the compass is a very sophisticated piece of scientific equipment designed to sense mutant dna and it just looks like an old, broken compass.
Hiro apparently can time travel after all...he just can't control it. He winds up at the carnival "where it all started." (Silly me. I thought it all started with his mom telling him stories.) I tried to tell him to watch out for rakshasas. My sister tried to tell him to watch out for Edward Quartermaine's car. (References to Supernatural and General Hospital, respectively. Sorry.) Sadly, neither of us remembered to warn
him about creepy carnies who suddenly want to be his best friend.
So now Hiro has a quest to occupy him until he dies, like the doctor told him he would. Was he talking about "Doctor" Mohinder there? Because, for fuck's sake, MOHINDER IS NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR!!!!
Also, I'm pretty sure that making Ando happily in love with his sister would have changed the past. Would Ando have gone with him to Las Vegas? Would he have still been taken in by the giant, criminal showgirl?
And what is the "business plan" for Dial A Hero?
Moving on to the Bennetts. Claire is in college. Most annoying roommate ever. Glad she died. I could look it up, but I'm too lazy: Is Claire's new friend the youngest daughter from "The Nanny?" Claire continues to be too stupid to live...she didn't even look around her room before throwing herself out the window? Didn't notice that girl standing right behind her? Didn't even close her door? Who needs a dummy for forensic testing when you have Claire. She's dummy enough for anything. I miss season one best friend.
Poor Noah. Sandra has some new man answering her phone. Two different people tried to kill him. He burned his dinner. (FYI, honey, these days microwaves are much better for tv dinners than toaster ovens.) Searching in vain for "one of them" to help him out. But the Haitian was right there!!! Why can't he be full time partner? Guy is off his game. I guess it never occurred to him that Daphne-with-Knives might try again to get that compass once Peter was gone.
Tracy has two, unrelated powers. Fine. She IS water and she freezes things. But how the fuck can she fill a car with just her body? Is tracy actually the size of an elephant? That whole drowning Noah in his car scene annoyed me. Does she also have magical door jamming powers?
Can we please have episodes driven by plot instead of a 12 year old boy's idea of what would look cool?
Parkman continues to be a giant tool. First of all...no mention of love-of-his-life Daphne. He's so, sooooo happy with Janice. Except for that bastard who tries to give her water. How dare he! Dreamy sigh. Irrational jealousy is so attractive in a man. Also, Matt has to adopt the "A Beautiful Mind" method of dealing with his hallucinations. Ignore them. Even if you see them and hear them, for God's sake, do not yell at them in a room full of other people. It's just embarassing to watch.
Matt's mental Sylar just seemed a bit off to me. Don't know why. Maybe because Sylar-with-a-body would be violent, not just annoying. He's less menacing as a hallucination. Think Matt might contemplate suicide? If he dies, the remnant of Sylar dies too, right? (Fingers crossed)
However, I am loving Sylar-as-Nathan. Adrian Pasdar is doing a great job of blending the two characters. The confusion...the vulnerability...the underlying confidence and drive. Super hot. He needs more scenes.
That one with Angela was pretty awesome.He's going to be a better father. Really? Does that mean he might actually remember that he has two sons??? And I laughed so hard when Angela told him to have a mid-life crisis like his father. She wants him to be like Arthur? Shit. That guy was even too evil for Sylar.
Peter is channeling "Mystery Spot" Sam Winchester. Neat. Detached. Things pinned to his wall. I bet he makes his bed with hospital corners too. Traded in super strong for super fast...and he must have absorbed knife fighting ability too...cause if the speed is even, skill should determine the winner, right?
I enjoyed the Legal Seafoods shout out. It is very tasty. FYI, though, there are 3 locations in New York and 2 in New Jersey. No reason to go all the way to Boston. Their clam chowder can also be bought in many grocery stores. He could have gone to Mike's Pastry. Or Tealuxe.