(no subject)
I’m a true romantic, a faerie tale girl. I am almost 21 years old, and still I hope for that hero on his white horse to come and take me away from the world. I secretly dream about that special somebody who will appear with roses, and I’m almost expecting theme music to swell as he takes me in his arms.
Unfortunately, I also live in a mental state of reality. The closest I’ve ever come to a hero on a white horse is the pizza delivery guy in a beat-up white Chevy who makes deliveries until 3AM. My cynical side secretly believes that the first time anybody will send me roses will be my funeral. As much as I’d like to believe that my life can end like a faerie tale, I have to accept that life doesn’t always work out that way.
Sometimes I look back on how life’s little quandaries have worked out, and I have to say the two words that can make my entire world start turning backward. You know the phrase. The one that makes people re-evaluate their entire system of what they’ve done and what they want to do, the one that makes me rewind and look very carefully at the details in life. That ever-dreaded phrase: what if. What if I had done something, anything, differently… maybe the white Chevy would have become my white horse.
There are times when imaging a different outcome is a good thing. You didn’t spill your coffee on your attractive new co-worker; instead he saved you from tripping at the last second, and ended up falling in love with you right there in the break room.
Other times, “what if” is a disaster wrapped in neurological gift wrap. You become obsessed with the road not taken, pining and wracking your brains trying to predict the most likely outcome, one that never happened, and most likely never will.
So there are two sides to every romance, to every faerie tale. There’s the side with the happy ending, the white horse, and the truth- the fact that you just paid $15 for a pizza at 3AM. Life is about balancing these two sides, accepting the fated pizza, and at the same time listening for the sound of hoof beats behind the delivery car.