(no subject)
symptoms:
- reading old journal entries
- Reading old emails
- Looking at old pictures
September--Journal Entry:
"'You didnt need to yell' he said to
the blinking TV. He still wasnt
ready to make
eye contact and he wouldnt be for a while.
I pushed my back harder into
the chair,
praying my hands would turn to
red velour and my legs
would sprout wheels and
i would have an excuse
for letting him
crush me."
January--Email:
"There is something so hostile between us. There always has been,
even when we dated.But sometimes I can't help but wonder how you're doing. And how your new appartment looks and whether or not you shaved this morning. I walk past puzzles in the department stores and think of buying one and putting it together to send to you- just, you know, to prove I could do it afterall."
February--Journal Entry
"I was wearing pajama pants and you had on your Dad's ski jacket, a walking green and black bubble. The empty feeling of the Palace 9 knocked against my bones and I held your hand tighter, for once appreciating my paranoia as it was a chance to get closer to you."
October--Email:
"You are the only one who had ever told me my anger is beautiful"
July--Journal Entry
"We built a cabin today by the
glow of your computer screen.
We sprawled out on the floor
and dumped the licoln logs
in a pile between us.
I built the pool house, and you built the mansion."
cures:
- immediate hospitalization
- christmas cheer
- sleep