stuff vol .75
Is it possible for darkness to be stronger than sunshine?
I bought porn yesterday, the gay type of course, and I felt good. Really good. When I saw the first one (I bought two titles), I was asleep within 5 minutes. I only woke up after a series of really long and loud moans from one of the porn actors (yes honey, just like in WWF, those big hunky men are acting - with body fluids et al).
There's something amiss at work. I am being pirated, some of my co-workers are working and walking blackholes sucking the energies from me and other people who have the time to listen to their bitchfits and moan-umental moments of ranting.
Ugh. If they could only see how much energy they spend bemoaning life and all it's small imperfections and then figure out ways to use the same amount of energy to FIX the problem and not draw more unneeded attention to it.
Let me jump to another not so random thought - I miss being in Manila where people walk like some wild dingo is chasing after them and where people speak English...just because they can and they want to. And the last reason why I want to be in Manila right now....mabenta ako doon. I get laid in Manila.
All I get in Pampanga are respectful nods, uneasy smiles, and a peck on the cheek at most. And the people who do want to sleep with me here are women. Like eeew to the nth degree.
Respect is such a bitch. Another very good example why anything, even good ones in excess is never recommended.
I have this great big urge to erase some parts of my Friendster profile just because I don't think some of the stuff there ring true anymore.
I mean, I have three or so books I have to finish reading; several inches of old newspapers I planned to clip and organize; poetry I wrote in scraps of paper and tissue to rewrite in decent notebooks; people to buy gifts for; old clothes I selected and hid to be my first batch of experiments; and the list goes on.
An existential dilemma again. My nth quarter-life crisis. I miss my friends. All of them. I miss Nancy, Grace, Kenny, Kitkat, my Psych 4 people, the lesbians who can chug tequila and beer like thirsty sailors, and the perpetually horny pretty boys of Makati and Ortigas. I miss all of them.
And I know I'm not just sayin this because I literally heard myself say, I miss laughing that I want to cry right now See? I'm talking to myself now. Outloud!
And I just came back from SM Clark and another realization hit me, even this one can't be solved or even relieved by retail-therapy. Everything on the store shleves looked boring. The slow-moving badly dressed people with bleached skin and equally bleached hair made me want to go and start pushing everyone out of my way just to inject some oomph into my life.
Am I bored? I will deny it till it's not true anymore.
Neglected creativity multiplied by a supressed wanderlust plus an ever-growing list of things to do equals my current situation. Somebody save this gay guy from being as bored as a straight guy.
I bought porn yesterday, the gay type of course, and I felt good. Really good. When I saw the first one (I bought two titles), I was asleep within 5 minutes. I only woke up after a series of really long and loud moans from one of the porn actors (yes honey, just like in WWF, those big hunky men are acting - with body fluids et al).
There's something amiss at work. I am being pirated, some of my co-workers are working and walking blackholes sucking the energies from me and other people who have the time to listen to their bitchfits and moan-umental moments of ranting.
Ugh. If they could only see how much energy they spend bemoaning life and all it's small imperfections and then figure out ways to use the same amount of energy to FIX the problem and not draw more unneeded attention to it.
Let me jump to another not so random thought - I miss being in Manila where people walk like some wild dingo is chasing after them and where people speak English...just because they can and they want to. And the last reason why I want to be in Manila right now....mabenta ako doon. I get laid in Manila.
All I get in Pampanga are respectful nods, uneasy smiles, and a peck on the cheek at most. And the people who do want to sleep with me here are women. Like eeew to the nth degree.
Respect is such a bitch. Another very good example why anything, even good ones in excess is never recommended.
I have this great big urge to erase some parts of my Friendster profile just because I don't think some of the stuff there ring true anymore.
I mean, I have three or so books I have to finish reading; several inches of old newspapers I planned to clip and organize; poetry I wrote in scraps of paper and tissue to rewrite in decent notebooks; people to buy gifts for; old clothes I selected and hid to be my first batch of experiments; and the list goes on.
An existential dilemma again. My nth quarter-life crisis. I miss my friends. All of them. I miss Nancy, Grace, Kenny, Kitkat, my Psych 4 people, the lesbians who can chug tequila and beer like thirsty sailors, and the perpetually horny pretty boys of Makati and Ortigas. I miss all of them.
And I know I'm not just sayin this because I literally heard myself say, I miss laughing that I want to cry right now See? I'm talking to myself now. Outloud!
And I just came back from SM Clark and another realization hit me, even this one can't be solved or even relieved by retail-therapy. Everything on the store shleves looked boring. The slow-moving badly dressed people with bleached skin and equally bleached hair made me want to go and start pushing everyone out of my way just to inject some oomph into my life.
Am I bored? I will deny it till it's not true anymore.
Neglected creativity multiplied by a supressed wanderlust plus an ever-growing list of things to do equals my current situation. Somebody save this gay guy from being as bored as a straight guy.