I Blame Naye
Title: Unne
Characters: Une, Deluded Sailor (Deluded Sailor is a one-shot OC, but Une is totally legit!)
Rating: PG for Deluded Sailor's leering? PG-13 for the word sex? R for mention of hormones? How does one rate?
Parings: One-sided Deluded!Sailor/bikini-top
First, before you read this fic, you should probably go read what inspired it: at the bottom of this post is a fascinating little lesson on Pirate Kings & naming themes.
Having taken care of that, this fic is for naye. Who inspires cracky, cracky fic. Enjoy.
Unne
Now this is what shore leave is about: booze, good food, and a pretty young thing walking by in a bar. Wearing shorts and a bikini top. A barely-there strappy bikini top.
This is the life
“Hello gorgeous.”
“Hmmm? Oh, hi!” Bikini-top smiles brightly and leans against the counter where you’re sitting.
You’re too busy ogling her soft parts - and okay, she’s not super well-endowed, but damn, that bikini top &hearts - to notice that she’s got muscles a body-builder would kill for. And her legs are fabulous, which is why you fail to register the significance of the knife in the belt of shorts you wish were shorter, or the way she carries herself with the balance of a trained fighter. Your alcohol and hormone-addled brain knows only one thing: she is sex on legs, and you don’t want her to walk away.
The hat hanging down her back is a mistake, though: the bright orange is too loud for her. And the ornamental skull linking the hat’s straps together definitely does not suit her. You hope the hat doesn’t belong to her boyfriend.
She laughs when you voice a query to that end.
“Ahaha, no. No boyfriend.” She grins at you, and you realize you have a freckles fetish.
Encouraged, you start flirting with her in earnest, casting an eye around to see if any of your crewmates are here to witness your great luck. She’s beautiful, attentive, and doesn’t laugh at you when you casually mention how you single-handledly defeated a Sea King last Wednesday (a bare-faced lie, but what’s a sweet, lonely, land-bound girl going to know?)
Eventually you suppose that the hat is kind of sexy, in a weird, discordant sort of way.
But just as you work up the courage to invite her to sit and have a drink, she pushes away from the counter, shoves the hat onto her head and waves you goodbye.
“It’s been nice talking to you! Have a good evening.” And walks off without a second glance.
Disappointed, you turn to back to your meal, only to find that your food has disappeared. Behind you, the barkeep starts shouting:
“Stop that girl! She hasn’t paid for her meal!”
~The next day, Deluded Sailor saw Portgas D Une's Wanted Poster.
So naye wondered what Luffy’s older sibling would have been like, if Roger and Rouge had had a daughter instead of Ace. She concluded that Une would be just like Ace. Obviously I needed to explore this in fic. Because I am insane.
Just a note on the name: in Japanese it’s “An”, which is the Japanese pronunciation for “Un” (the French word for "one"). However, as a francophone, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to name a girl the masculine “Un”, and have, for the sake of my linguistic sanity, transformed this to the feminine version: "Une". Or, since this is Ace’s parallel universe “sister”: Unne.
Of course, having imagined girl!Ace, I immediately pictured a situation I will never be able to unsee, and that is Luffy's crew's reaction to meeting Une at Alabasta. Specifically, Sanji's reaction.
I don't think there's enough brain bleach in the world to scrub away the image of Sanji perving on Luffy's older sister. Somehow, that seems more incestuous than him hitting on Nami. I don't know why. o_O
"Melloriiiine~" *shares the weird so I will not be alone*
Characters: Une, Deluded Sailor (Deluded Sailor is a one-shot OC, but Une is totally legit!)
Rating: PG for Deluded Sailor's leering? PG-13 for the word sex? R for mention of hormones? How does one rate?
Parings: One-sided Deluded!Sailor/bikini-top
First, before you read this fic, you should probably go read what inspired it: at the bottom of this post is a fascinating little lesson on Pirate Kings & naming themes.
Having taken care of that, this fic is for naye. Who inspires cracky, cracky fic. Enjoy.
Unne
Now this is what shore leave is about: booze, good food, and a pretty young thing walking by in a bar. Wearing shorts and a bikini top. A barely-there strappy bikini top.
This is the life
“Hello gorgeous.”
“Hmmm? Oh, hi!” Bikini-top smiles brightly and leans against the counter where you’re sitting.
You’re too busy ogling her soft parts - and okay, she’s not super well-endowed, but damn, that bikini top &hearts - to notice that she’s got muscles a body-builder would kill for. And her legs are fabulous, which is why you fail to register the significance of the knife in the belt of shorts you wish were shorter, or the way she carries herself with the balance of a trained fighter. Your alcohol and hormone-addled brain knows only one thing: she is sex on legs, and you don’t want her to walk away.
The hat hanging down her back is a mistake, though: the bright orange is too loud for her. And the ornamental skull linking the hat’s straps together definitely does not suit her. You hope the hat doesn’t belong to her boyfriend.
She laughs when you voice a query to that end.
“Ahaha, no. No boyfriend.” She grins at you, and you realize you have a freckles fetish.
Encouraged, you start flirting with her in earnest, casting an eye around to see if any of your crewmates are here to witness your great luck. She’s beautiful, attentive, and doesn’t laugh at you when you casually mention how you single-handledly defeated a Sea King last Wednesday (a bare-faced lie, but what’s a sweet, lonely, land-bound girl going to know?)
Eventually you suppose that the hat is kind of sexy, in a weird, discordant sort of way.
But just as you work up the courage to invite her to sit and have a drink, she pushes away from the counter, shoves the hat onto her head and waves you goodbye.
“It’s been nice talking to you! Have a good evening.” And walks off without a second glance.
Disappointed, you turn to back to your meal, only to find that your food has disappeared. Behind you, the barkeep starts shouting:
“Stop that girl! She hasn’t paid for her meal!”
~The next day, Deluded Sailor saw Portgas D Une's Wanted Poster.
So naye wondered what Luffy’s older sibling would have been like, if Roger and Rouge had had a daughter instead of Ace. She concluded that Une would be just like Ace. Obviously I needed to explore this in fic. Because I am insane.
Just a note on the name: in Japanese it’s “An”, which is the Japanese pronunciation for “Un” (the French word for "one"). However, as a francophone, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to name a girl the masculine “Un”, and have, for the sake of my linguistic sanity, transformed this to the feminine version: "Une". Or, since this is Ace’s parallel universe “sister”: Unne.
Of course, having imagined girl!Ace, I immediately pictured a situation I will never be able to unsee, and that is Luffy's crew's reaction to meeting Une at Alabasta. Specifically, Sanji's reaction.
I don't think there's enough brain bleach in the world to scrub away the image of Sanji perving on Luffy's older sister. Somehow, that seems more incestuous than him hitting on Nami. I don't know why. o_O
"Melloriiiine~" *shares the weird so I will not be alone*