Potpourri
Ugh, seriously, my brain is on speed or something. Way too much going on and hardly time to process it, much less post about it on ElJay.
Things I have been up to:
Reading - Ian Rankin
I recently read Fleshmarket Close, The Naming of the Dead and am now halfway through Exit Music. And my brains keeps going "NONO. DO NOT READ FAST OR IT WILL ALL BE OVER TOO SOON" and the fangirl in me is going "MUSTHAVEMORENOWDAMMIT". Exit Music is the last in the Rebus series and while I have not read some of the earlier Rebus novels and there are also a bunch of non-Rebus Rankin's out there, it's just so sad to know that there won't be any more Rebus. It totally kills me.
Oy, basically, Rebus is this aging DI in Edinburgh who loves his Single Malts and his music and he's got his sidekick Siobhan Clarke (AND THEY NEED TO GET IT ON, OMG. THEY GIVE TAPES/CDS TO EACH OTHER, WHICH IS JUST CODE FOR WANTING TO GET IT ON, OMG!) who is now a DS. And well, they solve crimes and I have just really really really grown to love these characters. It's kinda like the Wallander character in Henning Mankell's books or Tempe Brennan in the Kathy Reich books (new one coming out in August, for those of us who like the books better than "Bones"). And well, the Wallander ended too, but I remember there being some hope that he would continue with the series, but with Wallander's daughter joining the police. And the same might be happening with Rebus with Siobhan taking over. So there's hope yet (NEED MORE, DAMMIT, I MEAN SHIV AND REBUS STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT ON, UGH). Anyway.
But yeah, it's driving me sort of crazy and I'm just two seconds away from ditching the post and picking up the book. The thing is, THEY STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN IT ON and in every book there's just one or two scenes that make me all squeetiful. Like THAT TIME WITH THE LIP-LOCKING AFTER THE YOUGOTALMOSTKILLEDANDIMJUSTSOGLADYOUREALIVE. And then there was delicious awkwardness for a while. And now in this one, there was that delicious bit with that thing where everyone else assumed that they had slept together at some point, which makes all the other people uncomfortable around the two of them. AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, DAMMIT!
Dieting and seriously hearting my sister-in-law
Oy, three months since I've started "dieting" and I feel great. When I first started, this is what I envisioned myself looking like when it would be over. Not perfect or sickly thin, but just generally happier about my looks. I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I've probably built up more muscle and my body is much more toned and I've got some serious muscles going on (under all my still-there belly fat). And during those three months, I felt pretty good. And I wasn't really dieting in the eating-less sense. Just doing strength-exercises in front of the TV.
But lately I've sort of gotten bored with it. I've got great muscles now, but the fat is still there AND ISN'T MOVING. And I've decided that now is the time to kick it up a notch. So I started what I call PHASE II. So now I've decided to actually go about loosing weight/fat. And I've got a list of how much I'd like to be loosing and in what time frame. And I've decided that that is going to happen by
a) doing cardio twice a week - riding counts as one time, because that is some serious work-out. So that'll mean adding either a run or a swim to my schedule once a week. And that will mean getting my lazy ass off the couch. I have yet to do it this week (and my week is Mon-Sun...), although I did take the bicycle to get to the stables last week and they're half an hour away.
b) watching what I eat. Which is something I've never done and never cared very much about. I like to eat and when I enjoy a meal, I don't like to think of it in terms of calories, fat, protein and carbohydrates. I eat pretty healthy, but the last week alone has shown me how really CLUELESS I am about what I eat.
Anyway, I've joined sparkpeople and have been logging my food for the last week or so. And I've learned a whole bunch of stuff.
Like protein. Something I never worried about at all, but I realized very quickly that this is a huge problem for me and that I am quite probably not getting enough protein because I don't eat meat. The recommendation is to eat 1g of protein per kilogram of body weight. And more if you want to loose weight. And I got about an average of 30g which is nowhere near enough (and I'm nowhere near 30 kgs...). Oh, and I often feel tired, have serious hair loss going on and have pretty bad wound healing. I always thought this was due to maybe not getting enough iron in my diet. I went to donate blood last Monday and I definitely do not have to worry about iron. And that's when I also read up on protein deficiency and how that leads to pretty much those symptoms. So more PROTEIN. And I've been eating LOTS this week from a variety of sources - dairy, cheese, tons of tofu, vegetables. And even with eating stuff with MASSIVES amounts of protein, I just barely reached the 60-70g that I should get at the very least.
And my sister in law has been GREAT with all this. No seriously, SHE IS FABULOUS. I always wanted a sister and it's almost like having one. I mean, my bro and her have been together for 10 years and I've always liked her. But ever since little man Andrin made his way into our lives, we've been spending a lot of time together. We usually eat lunch together when I babysit on Mondays and she is trying to loose the pregnancy belly and we exchange tipps and books on exercising and dieting and stuff. And encourage each other to keep it up. It's GREAT. She's just lent me her Glxy book and wow, finally there's a dieting book that makes actual SENSE! And I'm trying to eat according to those principles now. FABULOUS, I AM TELLING YOU. And there we were sitting last Monday and I was talking about my protein problem and she was like "You need to be eating Magerquark it has like 20%protein and is low in fat" (which she has been doing all along and I always declined). And I bought some AND I AM IN LOVE WITH IT. I love Creme Fraiche and it tastes pretty much the same to me, but Creme Fraiche is mostly FAT and Magerquark is mostly PROTEIN. I COULD NOT POSSIBLY LOVE MY SISTER IN LAW AND HER MAGERQUARK MORE THAN I DO NOW.
Riding, wheeeee!
Ah yes, the riding is still going on. Going to lessons now Wednesday afternoon and there's me, my friend and two twelve-year olds in my group. Which is fantastic - only four people and the two kids are nice. They have evening classes, too, but there are like 8 people a class then and while the mid-afternoon lesson isn't all that convenient for me, I much prefer it to having class with 7 other people. Seriously, there's enough mayhem as it is.
It actually was a little annoying last time, because I was literally the only person who had my horse under control. We were supposed to ride on two circles at each end of the riding hall with two horses per circle. And the other three just couldn't keep their horses on the circle and they kept going every which way. And I was just there, my horse doing exactly what I told it to do and we just kept going round and round (and round and round and round) and round and I was bored and the horse was bored and UGH. And the instructor spends a lot of time with the other three and not so much working with me. I rode a lot longer than my friend back in the day and got to a more advanced level - plus she rode Western for quite some time, so this is sort of new for her. I probably could be riding in a more advanced class, but then there would be more people and I wouldn't be in the same class as my friend and there's a lot of work I can still do by myself. Cause I know what it's supposed to look like and I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's a lot harder to actually remember all that stuff and to think ahead and start doing them early enough and I don't really have all the muscles yet to make it look easy (or to keep it up for 50 minutes, ugh, I do fine for the first 30 and then I'm just a bag of potatoes).
And maybe it's the horse, too. We seem to be getting along fine and I don't know if it's because I'm riding well or because the horse is just generally very willing. I felt him tense because he was scared of something by the door, but I got him to move past that pretty quickly and that was really the only challenge I had at all. And that took like all of one minute. I've had him the last two times and it felt really easy right from the start - he's very easy on the bit and goes forward without coaxing, which I really like. The first one I had was just so much hard work just to keep it moving and that's not fun. And the second one I barely remember, but that was quite easy too, I just had to keep it from cutting corners, but he figured out pretty quickly that that wasn't going to work with me and he gave it up.
And I don't know, I want riding to be mostly fun and not a huge commitment. I had the same thing with volleyball. But I also always want to work - to learn, to get better and that's why I eventually quit the volleyball team. Everyone was just there to have fun and they just didn't get any better and didn't really train specific sequences or anything. And that wasn't enough for me. I didn't want the commitment of playing on a team with games every Saturday, but I didn't want to play on a team where the most important part was drinks afterwards. And I find that I want more out of riding, too.
And I am working - when the others are warming up and just riding around, I bend - left turns, right turns, circles. It's really not just riding around waiting for the instructor to come in. For me it's really getting the horse and myself ready. And when the instructor works with the others, I work with myself and the horse. If she tells us to trot, I don't just simply trot. I play with the tempo, asking the horse to go forward or to hold back.
And I'm still a FAR cry from being a good rider, but I'm working on myself. I'm not going to be able to collect the horse under me any time soon (which I am really not sure you can really do with school horses), but last time my hands were really great and soft and the horse (who, by the way, is called Stoneman and they call him Stoni) responded so incredibly well to the bit and my posture is pretty decent too (well, for the first half hour, then sack of potatoes) and I'm getting there with the leg work, too (ugh, muscles, ugh). But it all felt right up there - he was incredibly supple under me and responded super, so I must've been doing something right.
Oh and the kids! I mean, the first time WE were the newbies and didn't have a clue as to what was going on and how everything worked. But the last couple of times, they started coming to us for help. And it's sort of cute and I bet I was the same way that age. They're just sort of lacking a certain sense of self and are always a bit afraid of the horse. And I've fallen off horses a good dozen times and I had one bite me one time that left my stomach blue and red and sore for weeks. And sure, they weigh half a ton and could crush you with their weight and there's nothing you could do about it. But it's just that you're the boss and you can ask them to do ANYTHING and they'll DO IT. But they also know instantly if you're unsure or afraid and then they'll show you who's boss.
Anyway, the littler one of the two kids is very afraid and needs a lot of encouragement. The first time, I just saddled the horse for her (because we were late for lessons as it was and I couldn't get out of my stall until she'd moved out of the way with her horse). But last time, I asked her if she wanted me to help and I did - but I didn't do ANYTHING for her, just encouraged her, told her how to do it and lent a helping hand only when absolutely necessary. And on my way home I realized how much I loved doing that. I LOVE working with kids - particularly if they're interested and willing. And it did remind me of wanting to be a teacher. I haven't felt like that's what I really wanted lately - but that was such a rewarding experience and I think I might be GOOD at it. So yeah, I may have to rethink my wanting to become a teacher AGAIN.
Things I have been up to:
Reading - Ian Rankin
I recently read Fleshmarket Close, The Naming of the Dead and am now halfway through Exit Music. And my brains keeps going "NONO. DO NOT READ FAST OR IT WILL ALL BE OVER TOO SOON" and the fangirl in me is going "MUSTHAVEMORENOWDAMMIT". Exit Music is the last in the Rebus series and while I have not read some of the earlier Rebus novels and there are also a bunch of non-Rebus Rankin's out there, it's just so sad to know that there won't be any more Rebus. It totally kills me.
Oy, basically, Rebus is this aging DI in Edinburgh who loves his Single Malts and his music and he's got his sidekick Siobhan Clarke (AND THEY NEED TO GET IT ON, OMG. THEY GIVE TAPES/CDS TO EACH OTHER, WHICH IS JUST CODE FOR WANTING TO GET IT ON, OMG!) who is now a DS. And well, they solve crimes and I have just really really really grown to love these characters. It's kinda like the Wallander character in Henning Mankell's books or Tempe Brennan in the Kathy Reich books (new one coming out in August, for those of us who like the books better than "Bones"). And well, the Wallander ended too, but I remember there being some hope that he would continue with the series, but with Wallander's daughter joining the police. And the same might be happening with Rebus with Siobhan taking over. So there's hope yet (NEED MORE, DAMMIT, I MEAN SHIV AND REBUS STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT ON, UGH). Anyway.
But yeah, it's driving me sort of crazy and I'm just two seconds away from ditching the post and picking up the book. The thing is, THEY STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN IT ON and in every book there's just one or two scenes that make me all squeetiful. Like THAT TIME WITH THE LIP-LOCKING AFTER THE YOUGOTALMOSTKILLEDANDIMJUSTSOGLADYOUREALIVE. And then there was delicious awkwardness for a while. And now in this one, there was that delicious bit with that thing where everyone else assumed that they had slept together at some point, which makes all the other people uncomfortable around the two of them. AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, DAMMIT!
Dieting and seriously hearting my sister-in-law
Oy, three months since I've started "dieting" and I feel great. When I first started, this is what I envisioned myself looking like when it would be over. Not perfect or sickly thin, but just generally happier about my looks. I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I've probably built up more muscle and my body is much more toned and I've got some serious muscles going on (under all my still-there belly fat). And during those three months, I felt pretty good. And I wasn't really dieting in the eating-less sense. Just doing strength-exercises in front of the TV.
But lately I've sort of gotten bored with it. I've got great muscles now, but the fat is still there AND ISN'T MOVING. And I've decided that now is the time to kick it up a notch. So I started what I call PHASE II. So now I've decided to actually go about loosing weight/fat. And I've got a list of how much I'd like to be loosing and in what time frame. And I've decided that that is going to happen by
a) doing cardio twice a week - riding counts as one time, because that is some serious work-out. So that'll mean adding either a run or a swim to my schedule once a week. And that will mean getting my lazy ass off the couch. I have yet to do it this week (and my week is Mon-Sun...), although I did take the bicycle to get to the stables last week and they're half an hour away.
b) watching what I eat. Which is something I've never done and never cared very much about. I like to eat and when I enjoy a meal, I don't like to think of it in terms of calories, fat, protein and carbohydrates. I eat pretty healthy, but the last week alone has shown me how really CLUELESS I am about what I eat.
Anyway, I've joined sparkpeople and have been logging my food for the last week or so. And I've learned a whole bunch of stuff.
Like protein. Something I never worried about at all, but I realized very quickly that this is a huge problem for me and that I am quite probably not getting enough protein because I don't eat meat. The recommendation is to eat 1g of protein per kilogram of body weight. And more if you want to loose weight. And I got about an average of 30g which is nowhere near enough (and I'm nowhere near 30 kgs...). Oh, and I often feel tired, have serious hair loss going on and have pretty bad wound healing. I always thought this was due to maybe not getting enough iron in my diet. I went to donate blood last Monday and I definitely do not have to worry about iron. And that's when I also read up on protein deficiency and how that leads to pretty much those symptoms. So more PROTEIN. And I've been eating LOTS this week from a variety of sources - dairy, cheese, tons of tofu, vegetables. And even with eating stuff with MASSIVES amounts of protein, I just barely reached the 60-70g that I should get at the very least.
And my sister in law has been GREAT with all this. No seriously, SHE IS FABULOUS. I always wanted a sister and it's almost like having one. I mean, my bro and her have been together for 10 years and I've always liked her. But ever since little man Andrin made his way into our lives, we've been spending a lot of time together. We usually eat lunch together when I babysit on Mondays and she is trying to loose the pregnancy belly and we exchange tipps and books on exercising and dieting and stuff. And encourage each other to keep it up. It's GREAT. She's just lent me her Glxy book and wow, finally there's a dieting book that makes actual SENSE! And I'm trying to eat according to those principles now. FABULOUS, I AM TELLING YOU. And there we were sitting last Monday and I was talking about my protein problem and she was like "You need to be eating Magerquark it has like 20%protein and is low in fat" (which she has been doing all along and I always declined). And I bought some AND I AM IN LOVE WITH IT. I love Creme Fraiche and it tastes pretty much the same to me, but Creme Fraiche is mostly FAT and Magerquark is mostly PROTEIN. I COULD NOT POSSIBLY LOVE MY SISTER IN LAW AND HER MAGERQUARK MORE THAN I DO NOW.
Riding, wheeeee!
Ah yes, the riding is still going on. Going to lessons now Wednesday afternoon and there's me, my friend and two twelve-year olds in my group. Which is fantastic - only four people and the two kids are nice. They have evening classes, too, but there are like 8 people a class then and while the mid-afternoon lesson isn't all that convenient for me, I much prefer it to having class with 7 other people. Seriously, there's enough mayhem as it is.
It actually was a little annoying last time, because I was literally the only person who had my horse under control. We were supposed to ride on two circles at each end of the riding hall with two horses per circle. And the other three just couldn't keep their horses on the circle and they kept going every which way. And I was just there, my horse doing exactly what I told it to do and we just kept going round and round (and round and round and round) and round and I was bored and the horse was bored and UGH. And the instructor spends a lot of time with the other three and not so much working with me. I rode a lot longer than my friend back in the day and got to a more advanced level - plus she rode Western for quite some time, so this is sort of new for her. I probably could be riding in a more advanced class, but then there would be more people and I wouldn't be in the same class as my friend and there's a lot of work I can still do by myself. Cause I know what it's supposed to look like and I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's a lot harder to actually remember all that stuff and to think ahead and start doing them early enough and I don't really have all the muscles yet to make it look easy (or to keep it up for 50 minutes, ugh, I do fine for the first 30 and then I'm just a bag of potatoes).
And maybe it's the horse, too. We seem to be getting along fine and I don't know if it's because I'm riding well or because the horse is just generally very willing. I felt him tense because he was scared of something by the door, but I got him to move past that pretty quickly and that was really the only challenge I had at all. And that took like all of one minute. I've had him the last two times and it felt really easy right from the start - he's very easy on the bit and goes forward without coaxing, which I really like. The first one I had was just so much hard work just to keep it moving and that's not fun. And the second one I barely remember, but that was quite easy too, I just had to keep it from cutting corners, but he figured out pretty quickly that that wasn't going to work with me and he gave it up.
And I don't know, I want riding to be mostly fun and not a huge commitment. I had the same thing with volleyball. But I also always want to work - to learn, to get better and that's why I eventually quit the volleyball team. Everyone was just there to have fun and they just didn't get any better and didn't really train specific sequences or anything. And that wasn't enough for me. I didn't want the commitment of playing on a team with games every Saturday, but I didn't want to play on a team where the most important part was drinks afterwards. And I find that I want more out of riding, too.
And I am working - when the others are warming up and just riding around, I bend - left turns, right turns, circles. It's really not just riding around waiting for the instructor to come in. For me it's really getting the horse and myself ready. And when the instructor works with the others, I work with myself and the horse. If she tells us to trot, I don't just simply trot. I play with the tempo, asking the horse to go forward or to hold back.
And I'm still a FAR cry from being a good rider, but I'm working on myself. I'm not going to be able to collect the horse under me any time soon (which I am really not sure you can really do with school horses), but last time my hands were really great and soft and the horse (who, by the way, is called Stoneman and they call him Stoni) responded so incredibly well to the bit and my posture is pretty decent too (well, for the first half hour, then sack of potatoes) and I'm getting there with the leg work, too (ugh, muscles, ugh). But it all felt right up there - he was incredibly supple under me and responded super, so I must've been doing something right.
Oh and the kids! I mean, the first time WE were the newbies and didn't have a clue as to what was going on and how everything worked. But the last couple of times, they started coming to us for help. And it's sort of cute and I bet I was the same way that age. They're just sort of lacking a certain sense of self and are always a bit afraid of the horse. And I've fallen off horses a good dozen times and I had one bite me one time that left my stomach blue and red and sore for weeks. And sure, they weigh half a ton and could crush you with their weight and there's nothing you could do about it. But it's just that you're the boss and you can ask them to do ANYTHING and they'll DO IT. But they also know instantly if you're unsure or afraid and then they'll show you who's boss.
Anyway, the littler one of the two kids is very afraid and needs a lot of encouragement. The first time, I just saddled the horse for her (because we were late for lessons as it was and I couldn't get out of my stall until she'd moved out of the way with her horse). But last time, I asked her if she wanted me to help and I did - but I didn't do ANYTHING for her, just encouraged her, told her how to do it and lent a helping hand only when absolutely necessary. And on my way home I realized how much I loved doing that. I LOVE working with kids - particularly if they're interested and willing. And it did remind me of wanting to be a teacher. I haven't felt like that's what I really wanted lately - but that was such a rewarding experience and I think I might be GOOD at it. So yeah, I may have to rethink my wanting to become a teacher AGAIN.