Where's the vibe! The VIBE!!!
I cannot possibly feel this crappy after that half glass of red wine I had last night. Ugh. I feel strangely hungover, which reminds me of why I don't drink much in the first place.
Somehow, I'd thought that there were two possibilities. They would take me or they wouldn't. I honestly hadn't considered the third. That I might not want the job. And I can't even put my finger on anything specific. But with all major decisions in my life so far, I've always gotten this vibe of "this is it". The intership, both my apartments. With the intership, remember driving up to that sleek glass building with the pretty pond in front. I remember sitting in the hall, waiting for the lady on the phone to pick me up at the reception. And I couldn't stop thinking that I WANTED to end up here. The interview then wasn't much of an interview - she told me what the job was about and I felt comfortable and asked some questions and said I definitely wanted it. And she called me a few days later and told me I had it.
With this interview, it was completely different. I'd driven past the building several times before and it looked great from the outside. Inside it felt somehow empty and I felt lost. I had been told to go to the reception and ask for the other lady on the phone. But there was no one at the reception desk. I was early and stood around for 15 minutes like an idiot. A nice guy (who turned out to be the director of the office) asked me who I was here to see and told me to wait in the waiting area. Then the other lady on the phone came to pick me up, cause the nice guy had told her I was here. (still no one at reception). I didn't like the other lady on the phone so much (she's HR). The interview was friendly, but somehow it felt ... forced. And the HR lady asked most of the questions and they felt more like an interrogation that I wasn't really prepared for. I guess this is what job interviews in the real world are like (what do you think this job consists of, what sort of salary do you expect, blabla ...).
With the intership, I knew the interview went well. This time around, I couldn't possibly tell. I have absolutely no idea if I'm the sort of person they're looking for. The guy who would be my boss didn't ask many questions, but he seemed nice enough. The job sounds alright. I really didn't like the HR lady much, she really did make me feel sort of uncomfortable with her somewhat aggressive questions and she made me feel like my answers weren't "right".
Man, I don't know. I just don't know. I have to call on Monday to let them know if I'm still interested in the job. They would then ask people they were interested in back for a second interview. Which might or might not be me.
I think I'll tell them I'm still interested and if they do invite me back for a second interview, I can sort of get a second look and see if I get the vibe then or if there's still that nagging little voice at the back of my mind saying "this ain't it, love". Plus I can still tell them no if they offer me the job. But as things are right now, I wouldn't be terribly sad if they didn't invite me back for a second interview either.
Man, this SUCKS. Seriously, I had been hoping so much that this would work out. And with the laundry situation totally blowing up in my face, I was hoping to be moving sooner rather than later. And without a better paying job, that'll definitely have to wait. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
It's just that when I think I could have this job that I applied for or I could apply for the job that is freeing up where I'm working now? I think I prefer waiting for the latter. Odds aren't great that I'd get it. I know the difficulties and frequent annoyances involved. Yet that possibility still feels better than the unknown of the job I applied for. A job that would be limited to a two year contract, so I would have to go job hunting again in two years.
Somehow, I'd thought that there were two possibilities. They would take me or they wouldn't. I honestly hadn't considered the third. That I might not want the job. And I can't even put my finger on anything specific. But with all major decisions in my life so far, I've always gotten this vibe of "this is it". The intership, both my apartments. With the intership, remember driving up to that sleek glass building with the pretty pond in front. I remember sitting in the hall, waiting for the lady on the phone to pick me up at the reception. And I couldn't stop thinking that I WANTED to end up here. The interview then wasn't much of an interview - she told me what the job was about and I felt comfortable and asked some questions and said I definitely wanted it. And she called me a few days later and told me I had it.
With this interview, it was completely different. I'd driven past the building several times before and it looked great from the outside. Inside it felt somehow empty and I felt lost. I had been told to go to the reception and ask for the other lady on the phone. But there was no one at the reception desk. I was early and stood around for 15 minutes like an idiot. A nice guy (who turned out to be the director of the office) asked me who I was here to see and told me to wait in the waiting area. Then the other lady on the phone came to pick me up, cause the nice guy had told her I was here. (still no one at reception). I didn't like the other lady on the phone so much (she's HR). The interview was friendly, but somehow it felt ... forced. And the HR lady asked most of the questions and they felt more like an interrogation that I wasn't really prepared for. I guess this is what job interviews in the real world are like (what do you think this job consists of, what sort of salary do you expect, blabla ...).
With the intership, I knew the interview went well. This time around, I couldn't possibly tell. I have absolutely no idea if I'm the sort of person they're looking for. The guy who would be my boss didn't ask many questions, but he seemed nice enough. The job sounds alright. I really didn't like the HR lady much, she really did make me feel sort of uncomfortable with her somewhat aggressive questions and she made me feel like my answers weren't "right".
Man, I don't know. I just don't know. I have to call on Monday to let them know if I'm still interested in the job. They would then ask people they were interested in back for a second interview. Which might or might not be me.
I think I'll tell them I'm still interested and if they do invite me back for a second interview, I can sort of get a second look and see if I get the vibe then or if there's still that nagging little voice at the back of my mind saying "this ain't it, love". Plus I can still tell them no if they offer me the job. But as things are right now, I wouldn't be terribly sad if they didn't invite me back for a second interview either.
Man, this SUCKS. Seriously, I had been hoping so much that this would work out. And with the laundry situation totally blowing up in my face, I was hoping to be moving sooner rather than later. And without a better paying job, that'll definitely have to wait. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
It's just that when I think I could have this job that I applied for or I could apply for the job that is freeing up where I'm working now? I think I prefer waiting for the latter. Odds aren't great that I'd get it. I know the difficulties and frequent annoyances involved. Yet that possibility still feels better than the unknown of the job I applied for. A job that would be limited to a two year contract, so I would have to go job hunting again in two years.