Harold: [in surgery] We should give this man some marijuana. Nurse! Get all the medical marijuana you can! Like a big bag of it? Male Nurse: Marijuana?... But why? ---- Male Nurse: [wiping Kumar's lips with a little too much admiration] Soft, chocolate lips... ---- Harold: [yelling] Why didn't you say that my laptop was the worse news? Kumar: [calmly] Because the white castle thing applies to both of us, whereas the laptop thing just applies to you. ---- Harold: So what did they arrest you for? Tarik: For being black... ---- Burger Shack Employee: Come on Pookie! Let's BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN! ---- Kumar: I forgot my cell phone. Harold: You wanna run back and get it? Kumar: No, we've gone too far. ----
And don't worry, I saved the best for last... Kumar: Bitch! Learn how to make coffee, you fucking whore!
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Male Nurse: Marijuana?... But why?
----
Male Nurse: [wiping Kumar's lips with a little too much admiration] Soft, chocolate lips...
----
Harold: [yelling] Why didn't you say that my laptop was the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] Because the white castle thing applies to both of us, whereas the laptop thing just applies to you.
----
Harold: So what did they arrest you for?
Tarik: For being black...
----
Burger Shack Employee: Come on Pookie! Let's BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!
----
Kumar: I forgot my cell phone.
Harold: You wanna run back and get it?
Kumar: No, we've gone too far.
----
And don't worry, I saved the best for last...
Kumar: Bitch! Learn how to make coffee, you fucking whore!
I hope you relished that.
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You know the Holocaust? Picture the exact opposite of that.
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