(Untitled)

[eiseachas]

I've been contemplating it a lot. I used to hate thinking about it because it was always the same circle of logic, it is everything but it's nothing. But lately I've been putting it in context, and it really changes the way you can look at stuff. I've enjoyed thinking about all the possibilities of it the past few days. I always remember that

Comments

[knullare]

Maybe it comes from others or comes from direct involvement with others. Maybe others are it.

[eiseachas]

Possibly, but from my experiences, you have to be content with yourself before you can be truly happy. It doesn't seem logical for it to have to come from outside of yourself, because if it did, then you couldn't be alone and be content.

[knullare]

Hmm. But perhaps others could allow you to learn to be content with yourself. I'm just trying to say that the outside world could spawn the internal realizations necessary to be content with oneself.

[anonymous]

When you depend on someone to give you it, your connection is much different than when you aren't dependant. When you don't need someone, it enables you to enjoy their company much more.

Yeah, your connection definitely changes but I don't agree that it enables you to enjoy their company more. If I honestly felt like I needed someone, it wouldn't be about enjoying their company, it would be about having it at all and being grateful just to have it.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

[eiseachas]

I just plain disagree. I don't think you can be content if you depend on others to fill a void within yourself. When you need someone, you aren't "grateful just to" be in their company, you are desperate for it. And if you are desperate, then you aren't content, and you can't be happy.

remove the asshole hat

[crazygenious]

i feel confident saying that things like this don't cross your mind.

when i'm married one day i want to need that person in my life, and i want to know that they need me in their life too. when you're really content with yourself you're able to share yourself with others and accept what they share with you. it's not about filling a void - it's about sharing a totally seperate space while respecting both people in the relationship. cliche but true: you can't love others until you love yourself. when you find "it" in yourself, you should be able to have more serious relationships.. i believe it's when you're still looking for "it" that you're out avoiding binding relationships and being content with yourself. and i bet it is gratifying to not have a serious relationship and to feel like you don't need anyone and you can do who you please, but is it not also disappointing that no one truely needs you? desperation is for crack addicts. need is for diabetics.

Re: remove the asshole hat

[eiseachas]

I don't really see where we differ. It seems like you are arguing for my position instead of against it. "when you're really content with yourself you're able to share yourself with others and accept what they share with you," That's exactly what I'm saying. You have to find it within yourself before you can really connect with others. Same goes for the love yourself before others thing. We are arguing the same points with the same conclusion. And on a personal note... I'M NOT AFRAID TO TELLYOU THAT I HAVEN'T FOUND IT YET. I'M NOT READY TO GET MARRIED YET, and I'm not trying to act otherwise. I don't understand why you feel so confident that "things like this" don't cross my mind when we are arguing the same position.

Well...

[bsea]

What it is really depends on the type of person you are. Some people have personalities that rely heavily on social interactions while some others are more introspective. Humans are naturally social creatures, so I find your statement "it's about you" to be a little unbelievable (look at all the groups around... past and present). You can only find it when your inner self meets your outer self. You can't depend on either yourself or others entirely - you need a mix.

But it's always good to think about these things;

Couldn't agree more.

[anonymous]

well said lacey.