fic - After the Crossroad - The Angel's Pathway
Title: After the Crossroad - The Angel's Pathway
Genre: fluff, angsty-fluff
Length: 3-shot
Word count: 6,097
Pairing: SoulMate aka JaeChun, YunJae (BFF)
Rating: PG, for some bad words
Disclaimer: not mine in real life, *sad*
A/N: alright! part 1 of the sequel for Sunshine at the Crossroad is here. thank you so very much for all of you who've read and commented, you don't know how much it meant for me to read your words of encouragement. i really treasure every single comment! ♥
A/N2: i didn't mean for the sequel to get this long, but, yea, they have 2 different lives and 2 different set of circumstances, and when i realised it i was suddenly at 11k words, and i wasn't done yet. so i'm chopping this off to 3 parts. and the last part will be short *nods* very short. so, here goes, After the Crossroad part 1: The Angel's Pathway.
A/N: i know we all come from different countries and, thus, different school system. so, just open up your mind and don't think of any country when you read this. there was a reason why i never gave any name for "the little fishing town" Yoochun lived at" and "the capital" where Jaejoong came from, coz i don't want to limit your imagination =)
The Angel's Pathway
Jaejoong was on his phone with one of his sisters when Yunho came home.
"But I'm not! I'm perfectly fine; you don't have to worry about me. No, I mean yes! I do have enough sleep. Noona, I know, okay? ... I'm not! You can ask Yunho here if you don't believe me."
"No, noona, he's lying. He's been overworking himself this month as well, don't let him fool you," Yunho suddenly chimed in from behind the telephone receiver.
"You little traitor," Jae hit his forearm, pushing him away. "Shoo."
"He's still doing bartending after work, and tutoring. And he's got even more students now!!" Yunho yelled, voice getting louder as Jaejoong used his legs to push Yunho further into the other side of the couch.
"Shut up! How the heck do you know what we've been talking about anyway??" Jaejoong said, his mean words betrayed the amusement written on his face.
"Like as if there's any other reason for your sister to call you," Yunho rolled his eyes. "Have you been blacking out in the office again???"
"I have not! No, Noona, I'm okay, really," Jaejoong wanted to reply to Yunho but his sister was demanding his full attention now. “Yeah, I have more classes now, but it's nearing exam period, it's natural for my students to ask for more tutoring sessions.”
"Noona, he has 2 new students and he even got lessons on Sunday morning and afternoon now!" Yunho yelled again, carrying his voice high over Jaejoong's.
"Yunho! Seriously shut! Up! I'm not talking to you anymore," Jaejoong buried himself deeper into the couch, shielding the phone receiver away from Yunho. "Don't listen to him, noona, he's delusional."
"Meanie," Yunho pouted.
"Go get me the cake that your date brought home yesterday, I’m hungry," Jaejoong prodded Yunho's side with his foot and Yunho left the couch, pushing Jaejoong's head in his wake.
“Noona, eating cake for dinner is perfectly normal!”
It was late at night when Jaejoong finally ended the call. His body was stiff, but there were still work to do.
Or not. Jaejoong went to his bedroom to find that his laptop was missing from the desk.
"Jung Yunho!" Jaejoong rapped on Yunho's door. "Did you take my laptop??"
"I did not," Yunho's voice was heard from inside. "It went for a weekend-getaway because you were overworking it and it needs a holiday."
"Yah! Yunho! You return my Fuu-chan right this very moment or there'll be no dinner for you tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow you're bartending til 2 a.m. anyway."
Shit. The rascal really knew Jaejoong's schedule by heart.
"Yunho, please, give me back my laptop. There are some videos that I want to watch before I sleep," Jaejoong tried other tactic.
"Yea, right. Since when do you have time for porn? You're just going to do those filing work that pays you by the document, isn't it? It's 1.30, Jaejoong, go to sleep!"
Jaejoong scratched his head. How did he know about his side jobs too??? Had he really been working that much?? Jaejoong sighed.
"If tomorrow morning I don't see Fuu-chan on my desk, I'm gonna shove your desk lamp down your throat in your sleep!"
Jaejoong woke up when something touched his cheek.
"Mmm? Yunho?"
"Hey babe, you're sleepwalking again."
"I did?"
Jaejoong opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings. He realised that he was in Yunho's room. The curtain was drawn but the sky was still dark.
"Sorry, I'll just," Jaejoong sat up, "return to my room."
"No, stay. That way I'll know when you're sleepwalking again," Yunho said, rolling over Jaejoong to lie on the other side of the bed, forcing Jaejoong to shift over to take Yunho's original place.
"Sorry," Jaejoong's words were half lost in a yawn.
"It's okay. You haven't been sleepwalking for so long, though. Is it because of your sister's call just now? Did something happen at home?"
"No, it's nothing," said Jaejoong. He settled in the cover, getting ready to go back to sleep.
But as Yunho started snoring, Jaejoong's eyes were still wide open in the dark. There was something in his sister's call, alright; the arrival of a certain letter that made Jaejoong yearn to go back home, or if he dared to be more honest with himself, yearn to go back to a certain fishing village where a precious something was left behind many years ago.
Hyung,
How are you?
I'm good here.
I have started school, I was so happy I cried in class.
My friends are all so small, but they are good to me.
I have a lot of fun.
Hyung, thank you.
"Someday you gotta tell me about this work addiction that you have," Yunho said, sipping on his beer.
"Workaholics are everywhere around us," Jaejoong said, leisurely watching the crowd of people mingled about the bar. "It's an in-born trait."
"Not for your case. Yours is an induced addiction," Yunho pointed the beer bottle accusingly at Jaejoong. "Your sister told me that you were a laid back, lazy and underperforming student most of your schooling day. But one day after coming back from vacation, you turned 180degrees and became a bookworm and studied like you're being chased by ghosts."
"So, I finally woke up from my delinquent dreamland and for once decided to do something good. What's the big deal?"
"You finished your exam pretty well and entered university even though previously you adamantly told your parents that you didn't want to," Yunho continued saying, ignoring Jaejoong completely. "And you started working part-time even on the first semester of university and all the way til the end, even though your parents paid for all of your schooling and boarding fee and even gave you pocket money throughout your 4 years in university."
"Yunho, are you drunk?"
"Everyone thought that you were saving for something big, maybe a trip around the world after graduation, or a nice savvy car. But that didn't seem to be the case. All you ever did after graduation was find a stable job and earn a stable income, and then do part time jobs and earn more income, and then find even more work and earn even more money and save and save and save, without using your savings for any big spending ever, your laptop being the most expensive thing you bought. Now, what do you have to say, Kim Jaejoong?"
"That people's speculation translates to just my family members being nosey about my life, and that my sister talk too bloody much for her own good," Jaejoong muttered darkly, slapping Yunho's bottle irritably from his face. "My break is over, gotta go. Where's your date? You shouldn't abandon him just to talk to me,” Jaejoong kissed his temple. “Don't wait til my shift end, okay? Go home early," and with that went back to tend the bar.
Hyung,
I hope you're well.
Teacher told me that I can jump class again.
Whenever I jumped class, he helped me to study so that I'm not left behind.
He's a very nice teacher. He reminds me a lot of you.
Hyung, thank you, again.
"You never denied that all you've been doing is working and earning money, though," Yunho said with his mouth full of fries.
"Not this again?? How do you pick up a conversation done when you're half drunk anyway?"
"The power of the auto-backup in my memory system. And don't change the subject," Yunho waved a fries in front of his face.
"Stop. Waving. Food. In. My. Face," Jaejoong said, throwing bits of rolled paper napkins at Yunho with each word.
It was lunch time and the fast food junction was bustling with life. There were a lot of little kids around, watching him with fascinated eyes. Jaejoong grimaced. They both made excellent role models.
"Don't try this at home, kids," Jaejoong said lamely. "Where the heck is my student? We're supposed to start tutoring 10 minutes ago."
"There has to be a reason why someone turned to be an obsessive saver," Yunho said, flawlessly jumping over Jaejoong's attempt to skirt the subject. "And you've been saving as if you're planning to get married and start a family next year. What's your story?"
"You're really persistent, aren't you?"
"One of the reason why I get to date people whom I really want to date," Yunho shrugged.
"Hey, I'm not dating because I don't have the time," Jaejoong protested.
"Wrong. You're not dating anyone because you don't set aside time for dating purposes," Yunho reminded him.
Jaejoong hated his patronising tone. And he hated it even more when he's being right. And Yunho was almost always right. Jaejoong hated him.
Hyung,
We have a field trip today. We visited the harbour.
I didn't know that the harbour could be so exciting in the eyes of my friends.
Maybe I didn't see its exciting points anymore because I work there every day.
The harbour people talked to me, but my friends looked at me funny.
I told my friends that they're good people.
Some of them didn't want to talk to me afterwards.
Hyung, do you know why?
Hyung,
I've been studying hard, and I've jumped class again, to the 6th year.
I'm going to finish elementary school very soon!
Will you come back when I do?
"You know, I've been thinking," Yunho said.
"Wise decision. You decide what's for dinner tonight," Jaejoong replied.
"Huh? You're not tutoring tonight?"
"My student cancelled. I don't have anything until bartending shift at 11. So, lasagna? Or baked pasta? Or instant ramyun?"
"You know, I've been thinking."
"...Deja-vu~"
"Considering the amount of money that you've been earning with your fixed job and your numerous part-time jobs and small side jobs..."
"I'm hanging up."
"It's as if you're saving for: a) a wedding celebration and honeymoon, b) trip around the world, or c) a university fund."
There was a soft gasp, but Yunho's office was noisy and he missed it.
"Considering that you don't even have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, much less wife or husband candidate, and considering that you're not even in any remotely ideal situation to find one, I think 'a' is busted. I don't think you're someone who loves travelling so much, but there was this mysterious 'vacation' that you took before senior year at high school, that supposedly changed your life, so I'd say plausible for 'b'."
"Are you a mythbuster? What is this, Kim-Jaejoong-buster?" Jaejoong laughed, trying to change the subject. God he really needed to perfect this skirting-the-subject skill in order to handle Yunho!
"And considering that you've graduated and you're the youngest in your family, I don't think you're bearing any responsibility to put someone through university, so I think 'c' is busted as well. Unless, wait here's the fun part,” Yunho exclaimed like an excitable grade-schooler, “unless you're trying to save money to go to graduate school! Am I right, Kim Jaejoong? You're thinking of doing a master's degree, aren't you? Own up!"
"I'm really hanging up."
And Jaejoong hung up.
Hyung,
Next week is application deadline for middle school.
I have already applied, but Auntie was in a very bad mood when she signed all my forms. But it couldn’t be that she hate me for going to school...right?
One of my cousin is going to leave school so that the other one could continue to middle school next year.
Why does life make it so hard for people who just want to go to study?
Hyung,
Both of my cousins might not be able to go to school next year.
I've thought about this carefully like you asked me to.
My own savings are not much, but if Auntie asked me, I will give some money to her.
Hyung, you won't be mad right?
Hyung,
I gave some money to auntie last week.
You wouldn't know this but sales in the market was down for the past month. Auntie had been struggling.
I totally forgot that payment deadline for middle school application was yesterday.
I was shocked when I saw the amount.
But, thank you, hyung. I was even more shocked when I saw the savings account statement.
It's too much, hyung. Middle school is expensive, but not that expensive.
But, I just remember that I will also need to buy uniforms.
I'll definitely use it wisely.
Thank you, hyung.
"Jaeeee~"
"Do you know that you whine a lot when you're drunk?"
"You gotta go out and have fun more often!" Yunho whined again, waving a straw to Jaejoong's face.
"What do you think I'm doing now?"
"I mean 'more often', not 'once in a blue moon' often, and definitely not 'once in a year on-my-best-friend's-birthday' often," Yunho tugged on the straw which Jaejoong had caught with his teeth and refused to let go.
"I mean, you only have half a day of leisure every week, and at that time you're usually asleep because you're exhausted. When are you going to go on dates? You know there's a guy in my office that likes you a lot? Maybe you don't, coz I just found out recently myself. His name is Kevin, and he's really cute. But all he ever did was look at you from the coffee-shop window every morning and across the tables at lunch because you never come to parties or outings and he couldn't approach you otherwise," Yunho rambled on and on.
"I've lost you somewhere in the middle of that long, boring speech," Jaejoong said, sipping on his tequila.
"So he told me to tell you that he wanted to know you better, and I'm telling you that he's cute, like adorable-cute. And, don't tell him that I told you but others had told me that he's hot in bed too."
"More beer for this drunken man here, please," Jaejoong said pleasantly to the waitress wearing a playboy bunny outfit.
"Jaejaeee you're not listening to me..."
"I am, which is why I know when you need more beer to stuff your lips with. Here, drink," Jaejoong shoved a new bottle of beer into Yunho's mouth.
"Auughhh you are frustrating!"
"Wrong, I am Kim Jaejoong" Jaejoong said sweetly like a kindergarten teacher correcting his students that 1+1 did not equal to 3. "But I can see that you're frustrated alright," Jaejoong giggled. Drunken people always behave weirdly, it's entertaining. Well, he would hang out more often if it meant that he could see this silly side of Yunho more often. And he'd take loads of videos. Loads.
"I'm going to call my cousin and ask him to scold you," Yunho threatened, pouting and being childish, god Jaejoong wanted to pinch his cheeks. Yunho drunkenly fumbled with his cellphone buttons and put it to his ears.
"Jun-chaaaan~! How are you doing? ... Frustrated. ... No, I'm not drunk, Jun-chan, I'm frustrated! ... I missed you~~ Why did you migrate to a fisherman's village at the countryside and leave hyung all alone here??...Jun-chan? I forgot why I called you. Why did I call you?"
"You were asking him to scold me," Jaejoong reminded him, laughing behind his glass of tequila.
"O yea, Jun-chan~~~ I need you to scold my friend. He's frustrating and he doesn't listen to me.... He never goes out to have fun! All he did was work and earn money and work some more and earn some more money and work even more and... Okay. And he saved up all his money like he wants to buy the moon next year and it scares me and I'm sad because I feel like a big spender when I put myself beside him when I'm not! I'm actually a pretty wise person when it comes to spending, I really am! ... He's obsessed about earning money and saving it. Have you heard of an OCS? It stands for Obsessive Compulsive Saver. It's a new sickness under the OCD umbrella, first diagnosed on the patient named Jaejoong, surname Kim. ... Your friend wants to find a santa claus? ... Jun-chan, you're drunk. ... How about I scold your friend and you scold mine? ... Deal.
"Here, my cousin is going to scold you," Yunho said, handing his cellphone to Jaejoong.
"Hello, Obsessive-Compulsive-Saver patient speaking," Jaejoong said into the mouthpiece, still amused with the conversation Yunho was having with his -apparently equally-drunk- cousin. "Can I help you?"
"Uhm, hi," the person at the other line spoke shyly. Jaejoong heard him spoke to someone, "Su you dork, that's not your cousin on the phone." Then, someone else talked to him, "It is! Don't you dare changing the subject, you stubborn Rudolph, talk to him!"
"So," Jaejoong said. "It seems like your friend is as drunk as mine."
"Not to mention as idiotic and irritating and ouww! That's a slipper and that's my head, you ass!" the person yelled, luckily away from the phone receiver. "Uh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult your friend, I meant mine," Rudolph said to him.
"Nah, perfect description on this piece of mess sitting beside me too. Shall we just shove more alcohol down their throat to stop them from talking?"
"Brilliant idea. Good luck with your friend."
"And good luck with yours," Jaejoong said, snapping the phone shut.
Yunho had just passed out on the table.
Hyung,
I'm moving out of auntie's place.
It's not her fault, I have no reason to be there and be a burden to her.
I have a crazy friend. He rented a house, and had nobody else to live with.
He's renting the extra room cheap to me. And his dad will be my guardian.
He's a nice boy, you'll like him.
Hyung,
How long was it since you leave high school?
High school application and entrance fee was more expensive than middle school.
But, they're not that expensive! Honestly.
Thank you, hyung.
I won't disappoint you.
I wish you could attend my middle-school graduation ceremony though
"Jaejoong? Jae???"
"Huh?" Jaejoong croaked, cracking his eyes open to see Yunho's worried face. "Oh, hi, Yunho."
Yunho closed his eyes in relief, though the creases had not leave his forehead. A moment later, Jaejoong just realised that he was lying on the floor.
"Uh..."
"You fainted again," Yunho said. "How do you feel?"
"... Okay, I guess. My head hurts though, like as if I fell down the chai...."
Jaejoong glanced at the table and the toppled chair, and back at Yunho. He looked angry.
"You've been up working all night again, haven't you?" he accused, pointing at the laptop sitting on the table. "And you blacked out and fell of the chair and landed on the floor. God, Jaejoong, I don’t even want to know how many nights in a row have you been doing this, but just tell me, how many times are you going to give me a heart attack like this?!"
Jaejoong sat up gingerly, feeling his bones stiff and his muscles ached. Ouch, sleeping on the floor was a bad idea. But it wasn't like it was his fault, he didn't even know it. Jaejoong tried to drown out Yunho's nagging, but his voice was just too bloody loud.
"How do you think I felt when I woke up and found you on the floor, not moving an inch and not responding to my call?? I was ready to call the ambulance! You're lucky you didn't land on anything dangerous. What if you toppled onto a sharp edge of a table? Or a pair of scissors? Or.... Do you see how dangerous this is, Jae?! Kim Jaejoong are you even listening to me?!!"
"Stop it, my head hurts," Jaejoong winced.
"It's your fault that your head hurts. You should be grateful that it's only your head, you stupid workaholic asshole. I'll kill you if you do this again," Yunho said, circling his arms around Jaejoong's waist and hauled him to his feet. Jaejoong swayed when Yunho let go, and almost fell down again. Yunho grabbed him back, "You see??!!"
In the end, Yunho carried him to his room and made him promise to stay in bed the whole day.
"I have to go to work."
"I'm calling your office. This morning you contracted a very nasty bout of influenza and you're highly contagious. You. Are. Not. Going. To work. Today," Yunho scowled, stern face only inches away from Jaejoong. "Promise me, or I'll lock you in your room."
Jaejoong gave up. His head had been spinning since he woke up. Maybe it was the effect of Yunho's voice, or maybe he did need a break. He nodded weakly and waved goodbye. Yunho tucked him into bed, kissed his temple and tiptoed to the door. When he closed the door, Jaejoong was already sound asleep
Hyung,
Do you know that there's an orphanage in our little town?
I went there for a community study with my school, then I started going back there on my own.
There was a little kid who came from the capital as well.
He was a little prick, but very intelligent and sharp.
I wish I could be an angel to them like you have been to me.
"Okay, you know what, I'll make you a deal."
"What deal? Oh, and welcome back home."
Yunho had just come back from the office and Jaejoong was cooking dinner.
"I refuse to tolerate further your unhealthy addiction towards working and making money without knowing the story behind it. So, you spill the beans, and I won't sign you up for a counselling tomorrow."
Jaejoong looked at him, half raising his eyebrow.
"And I'm dead serious," Yunho said, solemnly, taking out a name card. Jaejoong could make out the word “therapist” on it, and with Yunho keeping a straight face, Jaejoong knew that he wouldn't be able to skirt the topic any longer.
Sighing, Jaejoong fished out his cellphone and called a number.
"Hello. Kyu? Yea, do you have any urgent test coming up? Shall we reschedule our lesson tonight to tomorrow night instead? You're home early, right? Awesome. See you tomorrow."
"What was that about?" Yunho asked, slightly nonplussed.
"Sit down," Jaejoong said, turning back to the stove. "Dinner will be ready soon. But if you prod me or force me to talk in anyway, I'm leaving."
They ate dinner with Jaejoong's mind half present half wandering. It was awkward because he would stop talking in the middle of a sentence and kept quiet, eyes unfocused, and Yunho didn't dare to prompt him for fear that he would really leave. After finishing dinner, Jaejoong put his plates in the sink and glided to the couch at the living room. Yunho quickly followed his lead. They watched TV, channel-hopping and talked about unimportant stuff.
"I'm supporting someone's schooling fee," Jaejoong suddenly said. "He's going to graduate from high school soon, and university courses are expensive."
The TV blinked, jumping from channel to channel to channel to channel to...
"That's it?" Yunho couldn't stop himself from sounding a bit incredulous.
"That's it."
"... I don't get to hear who is this person? Or why are you bearing his school fee? Or why the heck are you so obsessed about working because, honestly, with the amount of money you're saving, it's like as if you are trying to put him in the best university in the country?"
"No."
Yunho was stunned speechless.
"Then why the heck did you cancel your tutoring lesson? It wasn't to make time so that you can explain things to me??" Yunho's voice kept going higher.
"It's because whenever I started thinking about him, I always make a mess of anything and everything I was doing. And it won't stop til I sleep it off," Jaejoong said quietly, not meeting Yunho's annoyed eyes. And ended up sleepwalking in the middle of the night as if my subconscious mind was trying to get back to him desperately. Trying to get back to my Little Sunshine.
Yunho groaned in frustration. Jaejoong ignored him. He stood up and went to the kitchen to do the dishes.
2 broken plates, 1 cracked bowl, a snapped frying-pan handle and a wet kitchen floor later (Jaejoong almost killed the tap too when he opened the water too big and it sprayed all over the sink and his body), Yunho took over. He dragged Jaejoong by the scruff of his neck and dropped him unceremoniously at the living room couch, put a bottle of liquor, a glass and the TV remote control in his lap, and told him to "stay put and be good."
When Yunho came back after finished cleaning up the mess that Jaejoong had created, he went back to the living room and noted, with satisfaction, that Jaejoong had downed more than half of the liquor's content. His face was slightly red, and the glaze in his eyes told Yunho that he was starting to be tipsy. God, is this what those date-rapist do to their dates? Horrible. But he needed to do this. If he was going to have a heart attack once in awhile in the form of passed out Jaejoong, he needed to know why, why was this man so persistent in working so hard and saving as much money as possible.
Yunho took a glass and pried the bottle away from Jaejoong's arms. He poured himself a glass, let Jaejoong hug the bottle again, and waited.
And waited.
... And waited.
... And,
"He's my little sunshine."
Ah, finally.
"I was trying to run away from home after 2nd year of high school, didn't want to study and live up to my parents expectation while continuously being under the shadow of my sisters. I went away, escaping the city, went to a little town far, far, faar, faaaaaar away from here."
Jaejoong poured more liquour into his glass and took a sip.
"He was just a little kid, no parents; a mere umbrella-renter with bright sweet smile and warm sincere eyes."
"A what?"
"Umbrella-renter. They come out during rainy days and rent their umbrellas to people for a fee."
"Oh."
"He wanted to go to school. Been working all his life and saved all his wages into a piggybank. Moo-moo The Cow, it name was. He was so proud of it, too. He drew the picture and showed it to me, saying that it'll be filled to the brim really soon and then he would be able to go to school."
"What happened to him?" Yunho prompted gently when Jaejoong stopped talking for a long time.
"Someone stole his money. Poor darling didn't come complaining to me, I had to coax the story out of him. He cried the whole night. Every sob was like a knife stabbing into my heart, but I couldn't do anything to mend his broken little heart."
Jaejoong’s voice hitched, and Yunho imagined his face going a shade redder than before. Yunho pulled the man closer and let him laid his head on his shoulder.
"He was so young, Yunho, just 9 years old but so small and skinny I thought he was 7. And he was working the whole day, like an adult, all for the sake of earning money to go to school. And someone stole it just like that. I was very upset. Very upset on his behalf. How could people be so cruel?? He was just a little kid!
"But, Little Sunshine didn't give in to fate. He broke down for a night, but the next day he was already on his feet, determined to take on the world and tackle it head first. He decided to get back to work and started saving from scratch again."
"And you left and you've been paying for his school fee ever since?"
Jaejoong nodded.
"Can I ask why? He was almost a stranger, but you are so dedicated in helping him..."
"Because he made me see the error in my way. The more I know about him, his personality and how he perceived the world from the innocent eyes of a 9-year-old, the more I feel like an immature spoiled brat and him the adult. He was much more a man than myself, and he changed my way of thinking. I owe him so much, Yunho."
"But, don't you think you overworking yourself is a bit extreme?"
"I feel guilty! Okay? Guilty for leaving him there," Jaejoong pulled his body away and curled into himself, hugging his knees close to his chest. It wasn’t easy admitting this to himself, much less to others. He had told his sisters, but it had never been easy telling this story to others.
"He was just a 9-year-old but already forced to live life like an adult, and I left him just like that. I know I couldn't possibly bring him with me, but I could still see the sorrow and pain in his eyes when I said goodbye to him, and it hurt me. I hated to see my Little Sunshine cry, but I made him cry, and I left him.
"And he had been sending letters to me almost every month. At first I replied, but I've stopped doing it for several years now."
"Why?"
"Because I... I don't want him to keep hanging on to my image. I want him to let go of the past, have a lot of friends, and just forget about me and live a normal life like other normal kids his age."
And because I was trying to stop thinking about him. And I haven’t succeeded.
“But, despite your wish for him to move forward, you’re still working half mad preparing for his university fund....” this time Yunho didn’t voice out the why. He knew that Jaejoong knew.
It’s the only link that I have with him, it’s the only role I have. I know that it’s wholly not appropriate for me to feel this way towards a little kid. But, no matter how shitty I feel about myself, I don’t want to lose this single link that I still have with him. I’m selfish, but even if it’s just gonna be a few more years, I want to continue to be a part of his life.
Jaejoong didn’t voice out his contradictory-to-his-logic-but-true-to-his-heart answer, but judging by the way Yunho pulled him into his arms and let him cry on his shoulder, he knew that Yunho understood.
Hyung,
I'm going to finish high school soon. I've been studying really hard and my grades are good.
I still remember that I promised that I won't disappoint you.
I promise you won't be disappointed with my grades.
So, would you come to my graduation ceremony this time? Please?
Nothing much happened after that, life went on like usual. According to Jaejoong, at least. For Yunho, if Jaejoong was workaholic previously, he was now positively possessed with work. It was almost as if he was scared about the idea of not working, of idling and of a small window of break in which his mind was not preoccupied with work. He was running away from something, that much Yunho could sense. Yunho was now continuously looking out for Jaejoong at home and often called during work, just to check if he was still standing and breathing.
"Yunho, seriously, I'm alright. You're getting to be as bad as my sisters!"
An hour later, Yunho got a call from Jaejoong's office: Jaejoong had collapsed again, and he had been taken to the hospital.
Yunho went to the hospital after work. Jaejoong was just suffering from extreme fatigue and was ordered to rest. When he insisted of going home, the Doctor sedated him lightly, and he had been sleeping ever since.
"Jae? Jae baby, wake up," Yunho said, rubbing Jaejoong's cheek and forehead, trying to wake him up. "Jae..."
"Hmm?" Jaejoong opened his eyes, seemingly startled. He blinked, looked around him confusedly. "Yunho? Where am I?"
"Hospital. How do you feel?" Yunho asked, smoothing the hair out of Jaejoong's face and peering into his eyes.
"Hmm? Uh... Okay? I guess?" Jaejoong frowned. The sedatives seemed to be making him temporarily disoriented, or maybe he was just too exhausted.
Jaejoong was still unsteady on his feet, leaning heavily on Yunho for support as they went home. He didn't say anything until they reached the house. Yunho didn't ask anything either.
Yunho put him to bed, waiting for him to slipped inside the cover and tucked it under his chin. When Yunho dropped a kiss on his forehead, suddenly he said, "I'm going."
Yunho looked at him for a moment, then nodded, "Okay. But get better first."
Jaejoong called his office, telling them that he was taking a 5-day leave. Yunho grounded him for 2 full days before he allowed Jaejoong to leave. Jaejoong bitched and complained that he "is not a reckless teenager!" and that he would miss his Little Sunshine’s graduation ceremony because of Yunho, but Yunho didn't care.
Prior to his trip, Yunho noticed how quiet Jaejoong had become when he wasn’t bitching about his dignity for having been grounded. He was nervous and scared. Yunho thought it was natural. Jaejoong hadn’t seen his Little Sunshine for almost 9 years and he had kind of avoided him in one way or another, though in his heart he was yearning otherwise. It was a delicate and complicated situation. Yunho sent him off with a hug and a prayer for success.
When Jaejoong reached the little fishing town, he had managed to pull himself up and compose his features. He would do this right. Though what was the right thing, Jaejoong was still unsure.
Things had changed in the town in the past few years, but Jaejoong could still make his way around town. He didn't tell Yoochun that he would be coming, intending for it to be a surprise visit. So, he consulted a bus driver, asked him how to get to the local high school where Yoochun was studying, and went there.
"Eh? Today is not the graduation ceremony??"
"Ah, yes. We changed the ceremony date about a month ago," the school administrator told him. "Usually we have about 1 month window between the end of exam to the graduation ceremony, giving time for those who were performing on the borderline passing marks a chance to improve their grades. But this year, we don't have such cases, so we pushed forward the ceremony. It had taken place last week."
"Ah... Is that so..."
Yoochun wasn't in the school. And he had moved out of his aunt's place as well, Jaejoong would rather not visit her to ask about Yoochun's whereabouts. But, how was he supposed to find Yoochun now?
Jaejoong turned his brain and searched for clues in his memory. He remembered a certain letter he received some years ago, it said that Yoochun was volunteering in the local orphanage. Hopefully there was only one orphanage in the whole town.
The orphanage was at the outskirt of the town, but could be found fairly easily. When he entered the yard, he was greeted by a boy, probably high school student playing with a lot of little kids.
"Good afternoon," Jaejoong greeted. "I'm looking for someone. You wouldn't, by chance, know a high school boy called Yoochun, would you?" He hated how insecure he sounded. Come on, Jaejoong, get a grip on yourself.
The boy gave him a once-over, then said unexpectedly, "You're his santa."
"Sorry??" Jaejoong was confused. Did he hear wrongly? Santa??
"Yoochun is gone," the boy said, ignoring Jaejoong and turning his attention back to the little kids.
"What do you mean?" Jaejoong gave his brain a good knocking for letting an image of Yoochun lying on a hospital bed flew across his mind. Stupid, stupid brain! "He’s not hurt, is he? Where is he?"
"I told you he's gone. He left the town several days ago," the boy said.
Jaejoong breathed a sigh of relief for a second. Yoochun was alright, he just had left the town several days ago.
But.... He had left. Jaejoong had come to the town with the intention to attend his graduation ceremony, and it was over. He had gone to the orphanage to look for him, and he had left the town. Was this heaven's punishment for him for trying to cut his connection with his Little Sunshine?
What was he supposed to do now? How could he find his Little Sunshine again?
- tbc -
>>> next: part 2 - The Sunshine's Pathway
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