And I don't mean to harp on this, and that it's been bothering me. It's just that I wanted to see just how bad the damage was. What was strange (no, disturbing) was that it was intentional on my part - I wanted to get the worst food imaginable. I'm not going to jump up to conclusions about my psyche, or be melodramatic and call it suicidal (heh) or anything. In fact, it could just be that I had a day that a lot of us have (ah, to hell with this meal!) and ate as badly as I could.
But it dawned on me that it's entirely possible that there is something else behind it, because this isn't as uncommon as I am trying to imply and there is something wrong with that. Maybe not life-changing stances or whatnot, but there is something wrong with the idea that I, equipped with all of the knowledge, with a desire to end my unhealthy streak, continously choose not just poor eating habits (or lifestyle habits), but the absolute worst I could findHonestly, I'd say that this happens two-three times a week.
( ... )
Simply making better choices is probably the best way to go. Of course, you and me, we have trouble not veering from one end of the spectrum to another. All or nothing, neh?
That situation was particularily aggravated by the company. Not to say our friends make you suicidal (or do they, heh?), but, it's an unfortunately easy role for you to fall into-- like using exaggerated gestures, and random silliness, over-eating that much might be quite a departure from your, ah... normal? demeanor.
And being part of the mask, you did with that, which you did with most things with company-- used it for entertainment value.
You tell great stories, and have a dynamic personality. Alas, that often requires sacrificing a bit, ah, composure, for the sake of those around you.
As I'm sure you've been told many times before, clearly we (your friends) are a terrible influence.
That being said, I did actually think you were aware of what you were doing it, otherwise, I wouldn't have said it as, bluntly, as I did.
Well, obviously I did. I would have recognized it later. However, at the heat of the moment, the mask firmly in place, it flew by without a notice.
That's a major problem, maybe. Maybe I'm so caught up 'in the moment' that I don't realize the stupidity of my actions until later. It's the proverbial pregnant teenager; it seemed ok then but not now.
So it was smart of you to point it out, though, as you noticed, I continued to eat it, so I obviously wasn't too distressed.
Comments 4
To be fair though, didn't you drink Diet Soda?
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And I don't mean to harp on this, and that it's been bothering me. It's just that I wanted to see just how bad the damage was. What was strange (no, disturbing) was that it was intentional on my part - I wanted to get the worst food imaginable. I'm not going to jump up to conclusions about my psyche, or be melodramatic and call it suicidal (heh) or anything. In fact, it could just be that I had a day that a lot of us have (ah, to hell with this meal!) and ate as badly as I could.
But it dawned on me that it's entirely possible that there is something else behind it, because this isn't as uncommon as I am trying to imply and there is something wrong with that. Maybe not life-changing stances or whatnot, but there is something wrong with the idea that I, equipped with all of the knowledge, with a desire to end my unhealthy streak, continously choose not just poor eating habits (or lifestyle habits), but the absolute worst I could findHonestly, I'd say that this happens two-three times a week. ( ... )
Reply
That situation was particularily aggravated by the company. Not to say our friends make you suicidal (or do they, heh?), but, it's an unfortunately easy role for you to fall into-- like using exaggerated gestures, and random silliness, over-eating that much might be quite a departure from your, ah... normal? demeanor.
And being part of the mask, you did with that, which you did with most things with company-- used it for entertainment value.
You tell great stories, and have a dynamic personality. Alas, that often requires sacrificing a bit, ah, composure, for the sake of those around you.
As I'm sure you've been told many times before, clearly we (your friends) are a terrible influence.
That being said, I did actually think you were aware of what you were doing it, otherwise, I wouldn't have said it as, bluntly, as I did.
Reply
That's a major problem, maybe. Maybe I'm so caught up 'in the moment' that I don't realize the stupidity of my actions until later. It's the proverbial pregnant teenager; it seemed ok then but not now.
So it was smart of you to point it out, though, as you noticed, I continued to eat it, so I obviously wasn't too distressed.
Reply
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