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[elanor_in_bloom]

i hate writing fucking cover letters. i always feel like i only succeeded in coming across like a complete douche bag.

Comments

[animatus]

To anyone who will listen:

My name is Matt Blake and I fucking rule at everything. No lies, bro. I'm everything you could possibly want in an employee, and most likely even more.

I'd list out my personal skills, but there's only so much paper in the world, you know? Besides, making you read all that might just make me look like I'm trying to pump myself up for you. I don't need to do that. I'm confident in my ability to be the best. All you need to know is that there isn't anything I can't do better than every person you have employed right now.

I'm so absolutely certain that I'm the guy you're looking for, I didn't even bother enclosing a resume. Here's my number. When you're ready to completely revolutionize the way you do business, give me a call.

Yours,

Matt "Perfection" Blake

[elanor_in_bloom]

i wish i were as awesome as you

[animatus]

I wish I were as awesome as me, too.

[symmetryonset]

I tend to write cover letters with my Grandma (I was her favorite), my favorite high school/college teachers and my best friends in mind... What would they say about me? I think this keeps me from feeling weird about telling people I am the radical. My Grandma would tell people that I am the best, and my teacher can talk about the kind of worker I am... so I'm just saying their words!