An Open Letter
Dear President Obama:
Hi. How's the wife and girls? Big plans for Halloween? Really? That's cool.
Now. On to the real reason I'm talking to you via my blog that only a handful of people read.
Congratulations on your Nobel Peace Prize. No, I'm not going to get sarcastic about it. I am, however, going to avoid the impending shitstorm of your detractors. I'm just not in the mood for negativity. I will, however, chuckle at the reactions of some of your, shall we say, larger and louder critics. You know who I'm talking about. Shares a first name with a Canadian band that was on Colbert not too long ago...
But I digress. That's what I do.
According to a source I've seen twice on my friends list this morning, the Nobel Peace Prize can be awarded in expectation of an individual's accomplishments. Awesome, huh? It's not always a pat on the back of what's been done, it's a nudge in the right direction for what's still getting done.
That said... Earn that sucker.
Make great strides in Afghanistan. Find bin Laden, take him to the federal zap shop in Terre Haute, and show him what we do to terrorists. Give 'im the McVeigh treatment.
Unite the nations to clean up that mess in Iraq. (Here is where I take the high road and not point fingers...)
Get a health care reform bill passed and catch us up with about thirty-five other countries in the area of how they treat their citizens.
There's a lot you can do to prove that you're worthy. And you have the wisdom and ingenuity to do so. Let this award be your tailwind.
If you need me to elucidate on tailwinds, let me know. I happen to know a little about that.
But yes, congrats on the award for your future accomplishments (I hope). And ask Michelle what she does to get great triceps, because I'm starting to get The Waddle-Arms.
Your fellow American,
Elbie
Hi. How's the wife and girls? Big plans for Halloween? Really? That's cool.
Now. On to the real reason I'm talking to you via my blog that only a handful of people read.
Congratulations on your Nobel Peace Prize. No, I'm not going to get sarcastic about it. I am, however, going to avoid the impending shitstorm of your detractors. I'm just not in the mood for negativity. I will, however, chuckle at the reactions of some of your, shall we say, larger and louder critics. You know who I'm talking about. Shares a first name with a Canadian band that was on Colbert not too long ago...
But I digress. That's what I do.
According to a source I've seen twice on my friends list this morning, the Nobel Peace Prize can be awarded in expectation of an individual's accomplishments. Awesome, huh? It's not always a pat on the back of what's been done, it's a nudge in the right direction for what's still getting done.
That said... Earn that sucker.
Make great strides in Afghanistan. Find bin Laden, take him to the federal zap shop in Terre Haute, and show him what we do to terrorists. Give 'im the McVeigh treatment.
Unite the nations to clean up that mess in Iraq. (Here is where I take the high road and not point fingers...)
Get a health care reform bill passed and catch us up with about thirty-five other countries in the area of how they treat their citizens.
There's a lot you can do to prove that you're worthy. And you have the wisdom and ingenuity to do so. Let this award be your tailwind.
If you need me to elucidate on tailwinds, let me know. I happen to know a little about that.
But yes, congrats on the award for your future accomplishments (I hope). And ask Michelle what she does to get great triceps, because I'm starting to get The Waddle-Arms.
Your fellow American,
Elbie