I just read your essay, and though you posted this nearly a week ago, I'm pretty impressed with the content and style of your writing. There were a few sentences that seemed to need a bit of tweaking, but your writing is way above that of some of my students (you should probably test out of Freshman English in college if you take AP classes).
I would mention though, that if you think about global policy, stating that planting trees, or limiting the amount of tree destruction, might seem a bit too simplistic if you wanted to present the idea to a panel or a committee; because of the ever increasing global population, we'll need a more innovative idea for implementation: an idea that can be both technologically insightful as well as philanthropic.
It's nice to see you working with these ideas -- you've got your heart and your mind in the right place, and it's easy to see you're going to do some great things.
Re: nice oneeldalindeDecember 15 2005, 22:26:24 UTC
Yeah I'd kind of touched on that complication in my mind while I was writing it...but I felt somewhat braindead at the time....most of this is just structured ramblings and statistics.My English teacher liked though. :] Gave me an A.
Great job!
anonymous
December 13 2005, 23:11:05 UTC
I loved your essay! I am also completely horrified by the global deforestation problem, and wish that our other classmates would give a *&!@#$^* about it. Except for minor grammatical errors which Mrs. Arrington will be sure to fill you in on, I saw nothing wrong with it! You are an awesome writer, and I wish I had some of your talent.
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I would mention though, that if you think about global policy, stating that planting trees, or limiting the amount of tree destruction, might seem a bit too simplistic if you wanted to present the idea to a panel or a committee; because of the ever increasing global population, we'll need a more innovative idea for implementation: an idea that can be both technologically insightful as well as philanthropic.
It's nice to see you working with these ideas -- you've got your heart and your mind in the right place, and it's easy to see you're going to do some great things.
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~Amanda :)
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