It was actually the thought contained in the second paragraph--inspired by a conversation I had with a friend where I brought up some heavy shit then apologized afterward--that prompted the whole writing to begin with. I realized that, hey, that's not really the best response on my part to the wonderful thing he did for me, and that I did for me. :-)
Man, that's awesome. I feel so grateful for how much easier my generation has had it, and yet envious for how easy those who are coming of age now have it! And a perverse part of me worries that some of the glory and grandeur of queer culture will be lost without the same violence, struggle, and repression, but at least being a small sexual minority pretty well guarantees a certain baseline of marginalization and alienation to keep us fresh, observant and creative! Heh. (Am I kidding? Can't tell.)
I have thought a lot about seminary. I've thought about UU seminary, but I'm really only technically a UU; I'm not that inspired about UUism, but I'm open to it. I really wish that Cherry Hill would get accredited. Getting an M. Div. and being a 'real' minister sounds super appealing.
I'm sure we will also have a long conversation about "Feri"--I am in and out of limbo all the time, and one of the things I've thrown into limbo is my identification as Feri or not. I'll keep walking my path with whatever practices and contacts are helpful, and what happens happens; where I go, I'll go.
However, in this nation, people tend to become embarrassed when you try to express such thoughts to them. Even most of the people you and I have known by way of the Co-Op, such as J and M, couldn't handle receiving thanks or otherwise uncensored appreciation.
Reading what you've written reconfirms for me something I've long thought: there is a difference between Gratitude as an act of alienating submission and Gratitude as an aspect of relationship.
I think too many people only understand Gratitude in terms of the sort of awe that severs relationships between two people through the intrusion of hierarchy and power qualia. It seems to me that you are referring to Gratitude as an aspect of relationship which deepens the relationship, not merely in terms of emotion and recognition but also in terms of openness and unritualized honesty.
Hunh. Honestly, it's never occured to me to view gratitude as an act of alienating submission. I mean, there is certainly a history of enforced servility and submission and, well, grovelling to the powers that be, but I really feel like we almost need another word entirely for that sort of 'gratitude
( ... )
Because I perceive my connection with the spiritual and the divine as a relationship, just as I view my connection with you with as a relationship, I see such mediation and prayer as simply another expression of the gratitude which deepens relationship rather than a solo practice.
Even gratitude to my car is a form of relationship, even if I may be the only human being involved in it.
Oh, for sure. I just generally refer to 'solo' activities as "I'm the only human involved", since that's the only way the word has any meaning. I'm obviously never the only being involved, as no such activities exist at all. It's just a convenience of language for me.
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Man, that's awesome. I feel so grateful for how much easier my generation has had it, and yet envious for how easy those who are coming of age now have it! And a perverse part of me worries that some of the glory and grandeur of queer culture will be lost without the same violence, struggle, and repression, but at least being a small sexual minority pretty well guarantees a certain baseline of marginalization and alienation to keep us fresh, observant and creative! Heh. (Am I kidding? Can't tell.)
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*Tail waggle*
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I'm sure we will also have a long conversation about "Feri"--I am in and out of limbo all the time, and one of the things I've thrown into limbo is my identification as Feri or not. I'll keep walking my path with whatever practices and contacts are helpful, and what happens happens; where I go, I'll go.
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I've long believed what you say.
However, in this nation, people tend to become embarrassed when you try to express such thoughts to them. Even most of the people you and I have known by way of the Co-Op, such as J and M, couldn't handle receiving thanks or otherwise uncensored appreciation.
Reading what you've written reconfirms for me something I've long thought: there is a difference between Gratitude as an act of alienating submission and Gratitude as an aspect of relationship.
I think too many people only understand Gratitude in terms of the sort of awe that severs relationships between two people through the intrusion of hierarchy and power qualia. It seems to me that you are referring to Gratitude as an aspect of relationship which deepens the relationship, not merely in terms of emotion and recognition but also in terms of openness and unritualized honesty.
Or do I misunderstand what you've written?
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Because I perceive my connection with the spiritual and the divine as a relationship, just as I view my connection with you with as a relationship, I see such mediation and prayer as simply another expression of the gratitude which deepens relationship rather than a solo practice.
Even gratitude to my car is a form of relationship, even if I may be the only human being involved in it.
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