Stuck (2/4)
Title: Stuck (2/4)
Author: Me, eleanor_ariail
Genre: Fluffy, funny, and porny, not necessarily in that order.
Rating: Grown-up, for an explicitly awkward situation.
Summary: Two rude awakenings, generic Glitch abuse, and Azkadellia explaining the birds and the bees.
Notes: Still wondering about that WhoFic I read a while back, in which Time Lords normally 'get stuck'. I can't remember the title now to give it credit, so if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please tell me! Originally posted here.
Chapter One
"I'm stuck!”
DG looked down in horror. “What do you mean, you're stuck? How can you be stuck?”
“I don't know, I just can't pull away from you!” Glitch was on his knees in the bed, half-heartedly tugging away from DG, who was still on her back in front of him.
“Well,” she said, with a determined look on her face, “I'll just have to push you off then.”
DG pulled her knees up to her chest, dug her feet into Glitch's stomach, and began pushing with all her might.
“Ooowwwww!!!!!!” He howled, beating his fists into the mattress. Finally, he grabbed her ankles and threw her legs up straight again, before he collapsed to his side, letting her legs fall down over his hips. They laid there for a moment, gasping for breath.
“You're right, you are stuck,” DG panted out.
“Just, just let me think for a moment. I'll figure it out,” Glitch began to run his hands through his hair, trying desperately to stimulate any little piece of his brain that might have known at some point how to dislodge his penis from a woman.
He was coming up horrifically short.
DG waited for a few minutes, then growled a little. “At least come back up here, and pull that blanket up with you... It's freezing in here!”
With only a little trouble, they repositioned themselves so that they were lying on their sides, facing each other. They had just gotten the blankets up to their waists when they heard a knock at the door.
“Deeg, are you still in there?” It was Azkadellia, her voice muffled by the heavy door. “Come on, the party will be leaving any minute now! If they ever find Glitch, that is. He's wandered off again, have you seen him?”
Glitch stared at DG, absolute panic forming in his eyes. DG shushed him with a finger on his lips, then turned her head towards the door.
“Umm, no, I've just slept in... I'll be out soon!” she yelled, trying to get her to go away.
“You sound weird, is everything okay in there?” Azkadellia asked. “I'm coming in!"
Glitch made a little squeak and dived under a blanket. DG quickly twisted the upper half of her body away from him and pulled her side of the covers up to her neck. She tried to look nonchalant as Az threw open the door and marched over to the bed. She grabbed a button-up shirt from where it was crumpled in the floor and tossed it at DG.
“Come on, get dressed! I can't believe you're still in bed today, of all days. Mother won't be back for months, and you know she wanted to spend some time with us before she-" Azkadellia's tirade was cut short as she caught sight of the man-shaped lump lying next to DG. She froze, gaping, then took half a step back toward the door. She pointed towards the bed and mouthed silently to DG, “Who is that?!”
DG stared at her with wide blue eyes as she tugged the large shirt on. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she said, somehow managing to keep her voice perfectly level, “Please go away now.”
Azkadellia just frowned disbelievingly at her. She took a couple of steps closer, until she could see a dark curly lock of hair and just a glint of metal between the pillow and the blanket. She raised her hand to her mouth to cover the huge grin that was forming.
Without any warning, the older princess sprung forward, landing with her knees on the edge of the bed, and tugged the heavy quilt down just a few inches to expose Glitch's face.
He made a very manly squeal of terror as his eyes met those of the woman who had had his brain removed. After a couple of wheezing breaths, he lost consciousness altogether.
DG smacked his face a little, but got no response. “Great, you made him faint, Az!”
Azkadellia hopped down and pulled a chair up next to the bed. “Wonderful!” she grinned, “Now tell me everything! It's about time you chose him!”
DG just sat there staring at her sister for a few minutes, she was so shocked at the prospect of sitting down for a 'girl chat' while still sexually attached to an unconscious man.
“Okay,” she said slowly, “At least get me the extra pillows out of the closet so I can sit up.”
While Azkadellia was getting them, DG wrapped her arms around Glitch's torso under his arms, and, struggling, drug him higher up in the bed so that she would be able to sit back against the headboard comfortably.
“There we go,” Az said, arranging DG's pillows behind her back, “Now spill! When did you decide you wanted a husband?”
DG choked back a laugh. “A husband? What gives you that idea?”
Az's grin faltered a little. “Well, you're the one that joined with him, right? You must have decided you wanted a husband. And just think! The next generation of little royals will be coming soon!” she positively squealed.
DG chuckled fully at that. “No, no. You don't understand. This is just, uh, temporary. Just for tonight. Well, last night. He's supposed to be leaving now.”
Az smiled knowingly. “But he's not, is he? You can't separate, can you?”
DG lost all traces of humor at that. “No, actually, we can't. What do you know about that?”
The first trace of a frown appeared on Az's face. “Oh, I forgot, you left before you were old enough for The Talk... You really don't know anything about sex, do you?”
“Don't be silly, of course I do. There's sex on the Other Side. I know that's where babies come from and all... It's just that I've never heard of people getting stuck together. I mean, it's never happened with any of the guys I've been with before!”
Az gasped and pulled her hand to her mouth. “You've had sex with another man? More than one other man?!”
“Just two, thank you very much,” DG said, defensively, “And it's not such a big deal over there, nobody ever gets stuck for one thing!”
“Well, that doesn't happen to everybody here either, you know,” Az said, still taken aback at what she was learning about the younger girl. “It's just us royalty. It's part of the magic that flows through us. It always happens the first time we choose our husband. It's supposed to ensure that there will always be offspring to take the throne. Must not have happened to you before because your magic was still blocked away within you,” she said thoughtfully.
“Wait a minute, offspring? No, I'm not ready for that yet. And I'm not ready for a husband either,” DG shook her head for emphasis.
“Well, you better be ready for kids if you ever want to get apart again. Conceiving a baby is the only thing that breaks the bond. And good luck telling him you don't want to settle down,” she pointed to the gently snoring man by DG's side. “Ambrose was Mother's advisor, remember? It's hardly a secret how this magic works. That's the whole point of a royal honeymoon after all, to give the new couple time to get separated.”
“Wait, you mean he should have known about this?” DG poked his bare chest, causing him to stir and whine a little.
“Of course he should have. Anyway, I'd better go tell Mother what's going on. I imagine she'll postpone her trip for something as big as this. There'll be a wedding to plan now, after all!” Az jumped up, giggling, and ran out the door.
DG swung her leg over Glitch's so that she was straddling him. With her mouth drawn tightly, she swung back and slapped him as hard as she could.
He lurched up suddenly and almost bumped their heads together. “Stop!” he yelled, his eyes squinted angrily, “Do I know you?”
Chapter Three
Author: Me, eleanor_ariail
Genre: Fluffy, funny, and porny, not necessarily in that order.
Rating: Grown-up, for an explicitly awkward situation.
Summary: Two rude awakenings, generic Glitch abuse, and Azkadellia explaining the birds and the bees.
Notes: Still wondering about that WhoFic I read a while back, in which Time Lords normally 'get stuck'. I can't remember the title now to give it credit, so if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please tell me! Originally posted here.
Chapter One
"I'm stuck!”
DG looked down in horror. “What do you mean, you're stuck? How can you be stuck?”
“I don't know, I just can't pull away from you!” Glitch was on his knees in the bed, half-heartedly tugging away from DG, who was still on her back in front of him.
“Well,” she said, with a determined look on her face, “I'll just have to push you off then.”
DG pulled her knees up to her chest, dug her feet into Glitch's stomach, and began pushing with all her might.
“Ooowwwww!!!!!!” He howled, beating his fists into the mattress. Finally, he grabbed her ankles and threw her legs up straight again, before he collapsed to his side, letting her legs fall down over his hips. They laid there for a moment, gasping for breath.
“You're right, you are stuck,” DG panted out.
“Just, just let me think for a moment. I'll figure it out,” Glitch began to run his hands through his hair, trying desperately to stimulate any little piece of his brain that might have known at some point how to dislodge his penis from a woman.
He was coming up horrifically short.
DG waited for a few minutes, then growled a little. “At least come back up here, and pull that blanket up with you... It's freezing in here!”
With only a little trouble, they repositioned themselves so that they were lying on their sides, facing each other. They had just gotten the blankets up to their waists when they heard a knock at the door.
“Deeg, are you still in there?” It was Azkadellia, her voice muffled by the heavy door. “Come on, the party will be leaving any minute now! If they ever find Glitch, that is. He's wandered off again, have you seen him?”
Glitch stared at DG, absolute panic forming in his eyes. DG shushed him with a finger on his lips, then turned her head towards the door.
“Umm, no, I've just slept in... I'll be out soon!” she yelled, trying to get her to go away.
“You sound weird, is everything okay in there?” Azkadellia asked. “I'm coming in!"
Glitch made a little squeak and dived under a blanket. DG quickly twisted the upper half of her body away from him and pulled her side of the covers up to her neck. She tried to look nonchalant as Az threw open the door and marched over to the bed. She grabbed a button-up shirt from where it was crumpled in the floor and tossed it at DG.
“Come on, get dressed! I can't believe you're still in bed today, of all days. Mother won't be back for months, and you know she wanted to spend some time with us before she-" Azkadellia's tirade was cut short as she caught sight of the man-shaped lump lying next to DG. She froze, gaping, then took half a step back toward the door. She pointed towards the bed and mouthed silently to DG, “Who is that?!”
DG stared at her with wide blue eyes as she tugged the large shirt on. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she said, somehow managing to keep her voice perfectly level, “Please go away now.”
Azkadellia just frowned disbelievingly at her. She took a couple of steps closer, until she could see a dark curly lock of hair and just a glint of metal between the pillow and the blanket. She raised her hand to her mouth to cover the huge grin that was forming.
Without any warning, the older princess sprung forward, landing with her knees on the edge of the bed, and tugged the heavy quilt down just a few inches to expose Glitch's face.
He made a very manly squeal of terror as his eyes met those of the woman who had had his brain removed. After a couple of wheezing breaths, he lost consciousness altogether.
DG smacked his face a little, but got no response. “Great, you made him faint, Az!”
Azkadellia hopped down and pulled a chair up next to the bed. “Wonderful!” she grinned, “Now tell me everything! It's about time you chose him!”
DG just sat there staring at her sister for a few minutes, she was so shocked at the prospect of sitting down for a 'girl chat' while still sexually attached to an unconscious man.
“Okay,” she said slowly, “At least get me the extra pillows out of the closet so I can sit up.”
While Azkadellia was getting them, DG wrapped her arms around Glitch's torso under his arms, and, struggling, drug him higher up in the bed so that she would be able to sit back against the headboard comfortably.
“There we go,” Az said, arranging DG's pillows behind her back, “Now spill! When did you decide you wanted a husband?”
DG choked back a laugh. “A husband? What gives you that idea?”
Az's grin faltered a little. “Well, you're the one that joined with him, right? You must have decided you wanted a husband. And just think! The next generation of little royals will be coming soon!” she positively squealed.
DG chuckled fully at that. “No, no. You don't understand. This is just, uh, temporary. Just for tonight. Well, last night. He's supposed to be leaving now.”
Az smiled knowingly. “But he's not, is he? You can't separate, can you?”
DG lost all traces of humor at that. “No, actually, we can't. What do you know about that?”
The first trace of a frown appeared on Az's face. “Oh, I forgot, you left before you were old enough for The Talk... You really don't know anything about sex, do you?”
“Don't be silly, of course I do. There's sex on the Other Side. I know that's where babies come from and all... It's just that I've never heard of people getting stuck together. I mean, it's never happened with any of the guys I've been with before!”
Az gasped and pulled her hand to her mouth. “You've had sex with another man? More than one other man?!”
“Just two, thank you very much,” DG said, defensively, “And it's not such a big deal over there, nobody ever gets stuck for one thing!”
“Well, that doesn't happen to everybody here either, you know,” Az said, still taken aback at what she was learning about the younger girl. “It's just us royalty. It's part of the magic that flows through us. It always happens the first time we choose our husband. It's supposed to ensure that there will always be offspring to take the throne. Must not have happened to you before because your magic was still blocked away within you,” she said thoughtfully.
“Wait a minute, offspring? No, I'm not ready for that yet. And I'm not ready for a husband either,” DG shook her head for emphasis.
“Well, you better be ready for kids if you ever want to get apart again. Conceiving a baby is the only thing that breaks the bond. And good luck telling him you don't want to settle down,” she pointed to the gently snoring man by DG's side. “Ambrose was Mother's advisor, remember? It's hardly a secret how this magic works. That's the whole point of a royal honeymoon after all, to give the new couple time to get separated.”
“Wait, you mean he should have known about this?” DG poked his bare chest, causing him to stir and whine a little.
“Of course he should have. Anyway, I'd better go tell Mother what's going on. I imagine she'll postpone her trip for something as big as this. There'll be a wedding to plan now, after all!” Az jumped up, giggling, and ran out the door.
DG swung her leg over Glitch's so that she was straddling him. With her mouth drawn tightly, she swung back and slapped him as hard as she could.
He lurched up suddenly and almost bumped their heads together. “Stop!” he yelled, his eyes squinted angrily, “Do I know you?”
Chapter Three