Before the Blood Cools

[eleanor_rigby1]

 

Comments

[teafortheninja]

Oof, so sad.
I enjoyed this. It's an interesting take on what was going through his mind at the time of his death - it had to have been so much more than just giving those memories to Harry.
This seems to explain why he gave them to Harry. Interesting writing style, and well done.
Thank you, I'm happy people are still writing for this ship :)

[eleanor_rigby1]

Thank you!! Not only for being the sole commentor, but for your very constructive feed-back. I greatly appreciate it!!

[teafortheninja]

No problem at all. I try to make it a point to comment because I write too, but lately the lack of comments has been sort of... eugh... making me not want to post it, you know? I have some stories that have over a hundred vists and maybe two or three comments. Something isn't right there. :P

[eleanor_rigby1]

Isn't it the worst? It's hardly fair feeling. If you're putting yourself and your work on the line, the least people could do is offer some constructive criticism...In my opinion, at least. It really does decrease my motivation, I completely agree. It's quite sad.

That being said, I really appreciate that you read and commented. Thank you so much for doing that. :)

[snegurochka_lee]

This is really beautiful. I love the innovative structure, and how you say so much in so few words. :)

[eleanor_rigby1]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

[zeitgeistic]

This was so sad and lovely! Thank you for posting.

[eleanor_rigby1]

Thank you for reading! I greatly appreciate your comments. :)

[inclination_fic]

O____________________O

This is fantastic. Wow. As a Snape-introspective, this is seriously one of the best I've ever seen. The characterisation is perfect, with all the complex layers that we get in the books, and the complete opposite to the awful, 2-D Snape too often written in fanfiction.

I love the shortness of all the lines, the fact that there are no full-stops - it almost reads like poetry. Your phrasing and tone are beautiful - harsh enough to be Snape, and gentle enough for the death-scene - and you've captured that moment and uncertainty on the brink of death brilliantly. I love how James and Lily and Harry almost all flow into one. Lovely!

Sorry if this is just a babbling mess. I'm seriously awe-struck right now. Thank-you for writing this!

[eleanor_rigby1]

Wow, thank you so much!!

This was such a wonderful critique. I'm greatly flattered--Snape is such an intriguing character to me. We missed out on so much, never getting anything but glimpses of his perspective--and even then, through Harry's eyes. I'm new to writing him, but I hope to do more. And comments like this certainly help my motivation! :)

Thank you again!

[stolenkisses_]

This is lovely- absolutely lovely. The fragmented style really put me right in that moment of his death. This really hit home; the imagery you have here is beautiful. My favorite lines would have to be:

This is just, you remind yourself, and her ghost whispers it against your lips

So very cold and You have to do this she urges, you have to help my son

So you give it to him, to her, you give them everything

[eleanor_rigby1]

Thank you so much for your kind comments!! I'm so glad you liked my peculiar style...

You picked my favorite part as well! :)