OLD VERSION!!!!! Fic: Misinterpreted, Leverage, PG 13, crack
This is the unbeta'd version. To read the beta'd one go here.
Written for comment_fic , for never_says_die and her prompt "Eliot/Author's choice, misinterpreted"
I have no idea if this is what you wanted... and no idea how it got so long...*g*
Un-beta'd, un-southernified. And does someone miss a crack fairy? *scratches head*
Disclaimer: Not mine, nope, nothing of it. Just playing.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nate/Eliot... or is it?
Misinterpreted
Alec frowned. He had just lifted his hand to knock on Nate's closed office door, but now he hesitated. Closed door is weird enough, but what the hell...? Noises. Strange noises, now that he came to think of it. Soft squeaking, like someone bounced on the couch. An occasional thud. And... was that... moaning? His eyes flew wide open and he hastily retreated two steps. He continued to stare at the door as if he could suddenly develop x-ray vision. It didn't work, but his hearing was excellent. Yes, definitely. Moans. Loud ones. And squeaking couch. Combine that, Alec, and you get... "Whoa!!"
"Are you trying this Jedi mind trick on the door?"
Alec nearly jumped out of his skin as he suddenly heard Parker's voice directly behind him. He caught himself, shook his head but still stared at the door like a deer in the headlights. "I... don't wanna get in there."
Parker laughed. "Why not? Is Nate naked?"
Alec almost squeaked. "You may be... actually right about that - don't you hear that?"
Parker frowned. "Hear wh... oh." Her eyes widened as the moaning got louder and was now clearly intentifiable as Nate's voice.
"Ungh... yes, oh God, yes, that's good... a little more... to the right... oh yeah, there..."
Alec's eyes widened even more and he and Parker now stared at each other. Parker blinked. "And who's in there with him?"
Alec swallowed. "Uhhh... Sophie, I guess..."
At this moment the front door opened and they could hear Sophie's voice chirping a happy "I'm back with cupcakes, folks!" Parker's jaw dropped. Alec's brain refused to draw the obvious conclusion, but the next understandable words from Nate's office left no doubt.
"Whoa... gnn... shit, Eliot, that's it, right there..."
Parker mouthed "Eliot?" and Alec's eyes were now dangerously close to bugging out of his skull. Both their heads flew around as Sophie cheerfully entered the room and headed straight for Nate's door, clutching a big brown paper bag. Alec snapped out of his stunned state and grabbed her arm. "Uhh... Sophie, you don't wanna... go in there. Really. No, you don't. Not now. Not in the, the, the next... half an hour or so."
Sophie stared at him, completely confused. "Why? What's wrong?"
Alec opened his mouth, found that he really hadn't a coherent answer and closed it again. Sophie gave him another pointed questioning look, but froze in place as the next sound coming from the office was a loud groan followed by a complete sentence this time. "Holy fuck, Eliot, could you use a little more of that slick stuff? I'm getting all raw here!"
For the first time they could hear Eliot's voice which sounded - amazingly - like always, gruffy and slightly impatient. "Oh shut up Nate. Just relax, it only hurts a little while, okay?"
Sophie's jaw dropped while Parker was now giggling manically. "They're fucking!" she exclaimed happily.
Sophie made a weak squealing noise while Alec covered his ears. "I don't wanna hear that. Not listening, no no." he muttered to himself.
Another heavy groan was followed by a slapping sound and Eliot's voice saying "There. Feeling better now? I gotta wash my hands. That stuff's a bitch if it gets in your eyes." Footsteps were now coming towards the door and the three listeners jumped back, horrified. The door opened and Eliot walked out, hands slightly outstretched, whistling to himself and - fully clothed. He stopped as he saw three pairs of eyes staring at him, all of them wide as saucers. He frowned. "What?"
No one answered. He shrugged and made vague hand motions. "Gotta wash my hands. Horse balm stings if you get it in the face." He stepped forward, but stopped again as Alec went into a coughing fit. "For Heaven's sake, Hardison, breathe! Parker, slap his back, will ya? What's wrong with you?"
Parker patted Alec's back while Sophie asked weakly "Horse balm...?"
Eliot nodded a little confused. "Yeah. Nate pulled a muscle somehow yesterday and it all cramped up. Couldn't barely stand or even move. It's good stuff for that, helps relaxing the muscles and all. Usually for, well, horses, but also works..." He noticed Sophie's blank stare and shook his head. "What is wrong with you?" He waited for an answer and scowled as he got none. He disappeared into the bathroom just as Nathan showed up in his doorframe, tucking in his shirt. "Ah, nothing better than slowly fading pain... folks? What are you staring at?" He looked from one to the other, frowning at the stunned look Sophie still wore. "What? What's wrong?"
The bathroom door opened again. Eliot stepped out, wiping his hands on his jeans. He looked at Nathan. "They think we fucked in there." His voice was a growl, but his lips were twitching and he actually looked as close to a laughing fit as anyone had ever seen him.
Nathan choked on his words. "Wha... what??" He mentally rewound the whole scene and began to grin. He stared at Alec who was slowly recovering from his cough, stared at Parker who started to giggle hysterically and then at Sophie who slowly began to breathe more evenly. "You... you thought..." His grin got even wider.
Parker scoffed. "Well, it DID sound like sex. Pulled muscle, really. How were we supposed... how did it happen anyway?"
Nate's grin disappeared. "Uh..." He suddenly looked a little embarrassed. "Well, it might have, uh, something to do with, uh..."
Eliot slowly turned around and looked pointedly at Sophie. He just raised his eyebrows, sporting now a very suggestive grin. Alec and Parker simultaneously turned their heads just in time to see Sophie starting to blush heavily. She gave a little embarrassed laugh and then held up the paper bag.
"Cupcakes anyone?"
Written for comment_fic , for never_says_die and her prompt "Eliot/Author's choice, misinterpreted"
I have no idea if this is what you wanted... and no idea how it got so long...*g*
Un-beta'd, un-southernified. And does someone miss a crack fairy? *scratches head*
Disclaimer: Not mine, nope, nothing of it. Just playing.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nate/Eliot... or is it?
Misinterpreted
Alec frowned. He had just lifted his hand to knock on Nate's closed office door, but now he hesitated. Closed door is weird enough, but what the hell...? Noises. Strange noises, now that he came to think of it. Soft squeaking, like someone bounced on the couch. An occasional thud. And... was that... moaning? His eyes flew wide open and he hastily retreated two steps. He continued to stare at the door as if he could suddenly develop x-ray vision. It didn't work, but his hearing was excellent. Yes, definitely. Moans. Loud ones. And squeaking couch. Combine that, Alec, and you get... "Whoa!!"
"Are you trying this Jedi mind trick on the door?"
Alec nearly jumped out of his skin as he suddenly heard Parker's voice directly behind him. He caught himself, shook his head but still stared at the door like a deer in the headlights. "I... don't wanna get in there."
Parker laughed. "Why not? Is Nate naked?"
Alec almost squeaked. "You may be... actually right about that - don't you hear that?"
Parker frowned. "Hear wh... oh." Her eyes widened as the moaning got louder and was now clearly intentifiable as Nate's voice.
"Ungh... yes, oh God, yes, that's good... a little more... to the right... oh yeah, there..."
Alec's eyes widened even more and he and Parker now stared at each other. Parker blinked. "And who's in there with him?"
Alec swallowed. "Uhhh... Sophie, I guess..."
At this moment the front door opened and they could hear Sophie's voice chirping a happy "I'm back with cupcakes, folks!" Parker's jaw dropped. Alec's brain refused to draw the obvious conclusion, but the next understandable words from Nate's office left no doubt.
"Whoa... gnn... shit, Eliot, that's it, right there..."
Parker mouthed "Eliot?" and Alec's eyes were now dangerously close to bugging out of his skull. Both their heads flew around as Sophie cheerfully entered the room and headed straight for Nate's door, clutching a big brown paper bag. Alec snapped out of his stunned state and grabbed her arm. "Uhh... Sophie, you don't wanna... go in there. Really. No, you don't. Not now. Not in the, the, the next... half an hour or so."
Sophie stared at him, completely confused. "Why? What's wrong?"
Alec opened his mouth, found that he really hadn't a coherent answer and closed it again. Sophie gave him another pointed questioning look, but froze in place as the next sound coming from the office was a loud groan followed by a complete sentence this time. "Holy fuck, Eliot, could you use a little more of that slick stuff? I'm getting all raw here!"
For the first time they could hear Eliot's voice which sounded - amazingly - like always, gruffy and slightly impatient. "Oh shut up Nate. Just relax, it only hurts a little while, okay?"
Sophie's jaw dropped while Parker was now giggling manically. "They're fucking!" she exclaimed happily.
Sophie made a weak squealing noise while Alec covered his ears. "I don't wanna hear that. Not listening, no no." he muttered to himself.
Another heavy groan was followed by a slapping sound and Eliot's voice saying "There. Feeling better now? I gotta wash my hands. That stuff's a bitch if it gets in your eyes." Footsteps were now coming towards the door and the three listeners jumped back, horrified. The door opened and Eliot walked out, hands slightly outstretched, whistling to himself and - fully clothed. He stopped as he saw three pairs of eyes staring at him, all of them wide as saucers. He frowned. "What?"
No one answered. He shrugged and made vague hand motions. "Gotta wash my hands. Horse balm stings if you get it in the face." He stepped forward, but stopped again as Alec went into a coughing fit. "For Heaven's sake, Hardison, breathe! Parker, slap his back, will ya? What's wrong with you?"
Parker patted Alec's back while Sophie asked weakly "Horse balm...?"
Eliot nodded a little confused. "Yeah. Nate pulled a muscle somehow yesterday and it all cramped up. Couldn't barely stand or even move. It's good stuff for that, helps relaxing the muscles and all. Usually for, well, horses, but also works..." He noticed Sophie's blank stare and shook his head. "What is wrong with you?" He waited for an answer and scowled as he got none. He disappeared into the bathroom just as Nathan showed up in his doorframe, tucking in his shirt. "Ah, nothing better than slowly fading pain... folks? What are you staring at?" He looked from one to the other, frowning at the stunned look Sophie still wore. "What? What's wrong?"
The bathroom door opened again. Eliot stepped out, wiping his hands on his jeans. He looked at Nathan. "They think we fucked in there." His voice was a growl, but his lips were twitching and he actually looked as close to a laughing fit as anyone had ever seen him.
Nathan choked on his words. "Wha... what??" He mentally rewound the whole scene and began to grin. He stared at Alec who was slowly recovering from his cough, stared at Parker who started to giggle hysterically and then at Sophie who slowly began to breathe more evenly. "You... you thought..." His grin got even wider.
Parker scoffed. "Well, it DID sound like sex. Pulled muscle, really. How were we supposed... how did it happen anyway?"
Nate's grin disappeared. "Uh..." He suddenly looked a little embarrassed. "Well, it might have, uh, something to do with, uh..."
Eliot slowly turned around and looked pointedly at Sophie. He just raised his eyebrows, sporting now a very suggestive grin. Alec and Parker simultaneously turned their heads just in time to see Sophie starting to blush heavily. She gave a little embarrassed laugh and then held up the paper bag.
"Cupcakes anyone?"