(Untitled)

Aug 31, 2006 14:22

Title: Fish in a Barrel ( Read more... )

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Comments 6

beckyh2112 August 31 2006, 15:18:08 UTC
*squeaks!* Oh noes!

Lovely cliff-hangar; I'm on the edge of my seat to find out what happens next.

Your point-of-view shifts sometimes throw me off as there doesn't always seem to be a clear sign that we're shifting povs. But you do good characterization, and I love how you're handling this AU.

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electrainverted August 31 2006, 15:23:23 UTC
I usually don't do cliffhangers, but this one just decided it wanted to have the chapter stop there. xD;

You're right... :/ I don't usually do more to show POV-shifts than make a new paragraph, and I noticed I failed to do that at the ship-battle...
But thank you! I'm really happy the characterization comes off as good. :D

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kyra_neko_rei August 31 2006, 15:50:43 UTC
Will felt as if they were snooping into someone's personal life.

Which was very, very true.

*laughs ass off*

Ohhhh! I LOVE this! Awesome brilliant wonderful sweet amazing and OHHH! Davy's warning to Will, that was so so so so sooo spectacular and DAMN I can't think straight.

The ending was perfect. "Oh, bugger," indeed.

Where's Elizabeth?

Oh, and this:

It was probably just as well that he couldn't do it, as Jones, if he could even hear him, probably wouldn't have liked what would have come out.

Hilarious! Be awesome to see Davy Jones cursed at.

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electrainverted August 31 2006, 15:55:09 UTC
*giggle* Yay~! Thank you~

*grin* Glad that you liked Davy's "warning". I don't like non-con, but something like Davy Jones/Will is hard to do in any other fashion... so I go as far as I am willing. =3

Elizabeth... is looking for Jack, like in the movie. She just hasn't found him yet, as he's... "busy" at the moment.

*snerk* Yes. It was probably a good idea that Will couldn't speak. He doesn't swear a lot, but something like that happening, and I'm sure he wouldn't be quiet.

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zagzagael September 6 2006, 23:20:55 UTC
Clipping right along - well done! Of course, the DJ chappie was my fave - mmmmm...how is he doing that? But I'm liking all your characterizations.

It's interesting to see how you're taking the script and re-wroking it!

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electrainverted September 7 2006, 09:37:46 UTC
Davy Jones is love~ Unfortunately, as this is going, he won't be as present as I would like.
But yay! I'm happy you like the characterizations. :D

Doing my best! Thank you. ^_^

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