(no subject)
i just want to kiss your scars, hold you while we're naked.
just to know there isn't anything between us.
to feel your heart beat. reach inside and grab your soul.
just touch who you are, beyond what i can see.
blind. i'm blind. i'm blind. i'm blind. and to see, god.
alive seven feet under, shining under candlight, fucking with the blankets around us and sigur ros on repeat.
falling and rising.
i don't know who are you?
i am not okay with this?
hold on to me. tear my flesh. do we touch sex?
is this what you want to hear? give me something to carry.
could i stay awake through this? or will i wake up sometime else.
are we on the train? we never speak.
our eyes can hold this bridge. can we hold the rudiments?
don't take the pills. don't take them. don't mix with alcohol. don't don't don't say.
are we still friends? is this where we part? can i breathe?
you set up the christmas tree of your boy's apartment. who am i to you?
it was raining, a bottle of wine left on the table. you never said another word.
you never looked in my eyes. i couldn't take my eyes off you. if you only knew what you did to me that day.
we watched the airplanes touch down. just one, the drugs kept you alive. they kept you down.
my shoulder was yours. steady driving. i can't let you do this.
'and if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us'.
i left everything on the table at your grandparents. we fought for everything.
you don't want to see me, you never told me anything.
to kiss your scars. i'm not afraid.
i'm not afraid. i'm not afraid of the past. i'm not afraid of what can happen.
now when i sit here, and dream of days that i'll never hear another word, to see your shadow, nora.
nora.
nora.
you were what i can never have.
tragic as it is. you create another world where i'm just a shadow of what reality is.
perception is all that we have.
touch me. taste me. reach out and feel me.
what's through the aether, the dream, the world is an illusion at your touch. cut. slice. tear.
use the knife. feel your body. tell me what's inside me.
i needed to write something. so i did. it felt awesome