in which i make perhaps my most rambling post ever

[electricsoup]

but i really have been depressed for a while now. my focus is gone, my energy level is nil. i’m even getting weepy - not like myself at all, honestly. i’ve given a lot of thought about writing all of this down, because let’s be truthful - who knows who really reads this. is it someone i work with, would it get back to people who might treat me or

Comments

[misterbeans]

*hug*

I struggle with this too. I had no idea that I would want to be a SAHM when I started medical school. Now I have too much debt, and a government contract (due to a scholarship I accepted) that require I finish my residency and work full time for 4 more years. So even if we could afford one paycheck, which we maybe could at this point, I am not *allowed* to stop working. I can't even drop to half time... I feel so trapped!

And yeah, being a SAHM is at least as hard as my job, but I sure love my kids a lot more than my patients. I do enjoy medicine, but I enjoyed it more before I had children to miss!

[electricsoup]

that has to be rough! i hear you about never having an idea about wanting to be a SAHM. i had even thought about it, and decided i'd absolutely not be interested. little did i know!

i hope that things work out for you in a way you can have a happier work/life balance!!

[misterbeans]

I am hoping to petition the NHSC (my gov't contract) to let me work fewer hours over a longer period, so that the net amount of time I give them is the same but still letting me work reduced hours. I am unsure if this will happen though.

I hope the numbers work out for you so that you can stay home. My husband read a book called something like the tightwad gazette (it was a newsletter but I think they compiled it to a book) with a lot of penny-pinching tips that would be hard to carry out if you were both working, but if you stayed home you could maybe save cash that way?

[tigana]

I do understand where you're coming from. I had to return to work full time when my son was six weeks old, and circumstances never allowed me to be a SAHM after that.

My daughter on the other hand has been a SAHM from day one. It's hard - they are constantly struggling with one paycheck - but even with a minimalist lifestyle and the difficulties of making ends meet, they think it's well worth it. They may not be able to afford vacations et al, but they now live back among family and that helps.

Whatever you end up deciding, I know you'll make it work! You're a determined, resourceful gal.

[electricsoup]

thank you, that's so sweet of you to say!

[cellymcfae]

Is working part-time an option? I know my company allows some people to work part-time and it's often a woman with young kids. If full-time SAHM isn't possible, would part-time help?

I probably can't, but if I can help, please let me know. I've struggled with depression myself and it really sucks...

[dawntreader90]

that's what i was going to suggest.

or perhaps something you could teach to supplement your income. a friend of mine quit her job to be a stay at home mom because after doing the math, her salary barely covered daycare for their TWO girls. when they had a third child, it just didn't make sense to keep a job just to pay someone else to watch their kids.

so? she trained and got her yoga certification. she teaches classes three nights a week and saturdays. he gets some alone time with the girls during those times. she gets to raise the kids AND have out-of-the-house time with other adults, earn some supplemental cash and stay fit. win-win-win for the whole family.

now, you are a crafty-crafty smart gal. there's got to be something you know how to do that people would pay to learn!

but whatever you choose, i know it will be what's best for you and your family and everybody will be pulling together. :)

[electricsoup]

i always wanted to teach, and i think once the kids are school age if i DO stay home that's where i'd head to.

also, there's some craft stuff i'm already trying to get off the ground, but i don't know if it would ever do anything other than spending money (which is ok by me!)

thanks for the advice it really is helpful to hear about others experiences with this!!

[electricsoup]

it might be, but i don't know a lot of places that do pt project management work. if they let me here i'd do it in a heartbeat.

thank you so much - you help by just being there :D

[surubee]

Being able to stay home with your children until they are in school is really wonderful if you are able to manage it. I hope that things work out for you and your family.

Perhaps you could do something part-time that plays on your wonderful handicraft skills. Maybe you could do something like this woman Abby does on her blog: http://whileshenaps.typepad.com/whileshenaps/

I wish you all the best!

[electricsoup]

what a fantastic site!! i hadn't seen it before, i'll have to read through it.

thanks - it's so good to hear from you!!

[krazykitkat]

{{much love}}

Hope you can make it work.

[electricsoup]

thank you! :D