I wroted a script
Yelac the Smith: all that swearing
Yelac the Smith: will offend tallish boys
ElectricSweater: thats our most important demographic!
Yelac the Smith: i know they buy and spend
Yelac the Smith: for 1.5 people
Please read this and comment if you have enough time. Its due tomorrow at 12:30
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
JASON (21) sits in the driver’s seat of an old Volvo screaming. His car swerves wildly out of control towards an oncoming semi. The semi driver leans on his horn and shouts inaudible profanities. “Let it Snow” plays in the background.
FADE TO BLACK.
JASON (V.O.)
What a rush.
INTERTITLE (FADE IN)
Christmas Night
INT. THEATER LOBBY - CHRISTMAS NIGHT
Jason sits in the box office looking deadpan. Let it snow continues over the intercom. The lobby is absolutely packed with families. He hands a woman her tickets.
A man dressed as Santa Claus walks up to the window and Jason slides him a ticket and nods. Santa Nods back
SANTA
Merry Christmas.
JASON
Merry Christmas Santa.
JASON (V.O.)
What the happy campers behind him in line don’t know, is that Santa has a nine millimeter in that big bag of his, and an itchy trigger finger.
Santa walks through the lobby looking very cautious. He carries a large bag full of presents. A little boy runs up to Santa and tugs on his pants leg.
Santa looks around and sees a room full of children staring at him.
SANTA
Uh..erm..
Jason looks nervously over his shoulder. Everything seems to him to move in slow motion as Santa lowers the bag from his shoulder and reaches inside it.
JASON (V.O.)
Come on Sledge, don’t blow this already.
FADE OUT.
INT. THEATER LOBBY - THREE MONTHS EARLIER
Cue opening credits as the camera tours the lobby. CASEY (22) sells tickets to customers in line. MULLIGAN (34) and Jason stand behind the concession stand.
All employees wear the uniform, a maroon vest with a name tag on the left breast, a white button down shirt, a bow-tie and black slacks.
ERIN (21), working as an usher walks past Jason and winks. Jason looks over at her and his eyebrows raise slightly. As Erin walks around the corner. Jason looks up at the customer in his line.
JASON
I’m sorry sir, I’m closed. They can help you down at that end.
He points to the other side of the concession stand where Mulligan is already handling a full line of customers. Jason takes off out of the concession stand, stranding the next customer.
INT. THEATER HALLS
The door to a janitor’s closet bumps slightly from outside.
JASON (V.O.)
This is me, Jason Dike, loyal, dedicated, hard-working Movie-Mike employee.
INT. JANITOR’S CLOSET
Jason has Erin pressed up against the door of the closet. They are making out.
JASON (V.O.)
This is my girlfriend Erin.
Erin spins Jason around and sinks down below camera view. Jason’s head tilts back and his eyes close.
JASON (V.O.)
My loving girlfriend Erin.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason is wiping the same spot on the counter over and over. He doesn’t notice the customer in front of him until she speaks.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Hey...um, Our movie just cut off.
Jason looks up at the woman stunned. Casey, behind Jason quits scrubbing the popper and looks at Jason disdainfully.
CASEY
Fine, I’ll take care of it.
Jason looks up suddenly as Casey jogs out of the concession stand.
JASON (V.O.)
Don’t let this fool you. I’m actually pretty good at my job. Its easy if you remember a few simple rules.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Mulligan stands behind the counter as TEENAGE GIRL pushes a cup of ice cream across the counter.
TEENAGE GIRL
I asked for rocky-road.
Mulligan stares her down for a split second.
JASON (V.O.)
Number one: The customer is always right.
Mulligan takes the ice cream from the counter and scrapes it out with his fingers into the trash can. He licks his fingers then reaches into the ice cream freezer and pulls out a fist full of rocky-road, which he deposits in the cup and gives to the customer, who just stares up at him shocked.
Behind him, another employee picks up the air-phone behind concession.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
THAD (28) dark hair, button up shirt, tie, suit jacket that doesn’t match his pants, good-old-boy accent sits in the office playing Mario Golf.
The phone rings. Thad, still playing, picks the phone up and balances it on his shoulder.
THAD
Yeah. No, I can’t come down, I have a lot of paperwork to do.
He hangs up the phone.
JASON (V.O.)
Number two: the management is always wrong.
Thad hits a hole in one.
THAD
YEAH! Take that toad, you fucking fairy.
Behind Thad a series of TV screens show security footage from the theater. On one screen we see:
INT. THEATER HALLS
Casey leans on a wall next to Mulligan, who is sweeping up a pile of popcorn. Down the hall behind them, two kids, BRONTAVIO and DELETRIUS (12) poke their heads out of a theater.
JASON (V.O.)
Number three: the most important of the rules. Watch out for these kids.
Mulligan continues sweeping. Suddenly a large cup flies down the hall into Mull’s back, spilling its yellow contents all over him.
Mulligan spins around and takes off down the hall. Casey jerks himself upright.
MULLIGAN
You fucking shits! I’m gonna cut your dicks off and make you fuck each other!
Casey watches Mull chase the kids and sniffs the air.
CASEY
Is that urine?
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED - LATER - NIGHT
Jason stands outside an old shed in a hoodie. He breathes heavily, letting out a plume of vapor, then takes a step forward and bangs on the door of the shed.
Mulligan opens the door just a crack at first, then, seeing Jason, slides it the rest of the way open. SLEDGE (25, small, goatee) is shown in the background staring over a blueprint on a table.
JASON
I’m in.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Mulligan and Jason stand behind the concession stand. They lean against the back counter staring forward. Cher’s “Believe” pumps through the speakers into an otherwise empty lobby.
The two stand stock still for a moment clenching their jaws, then Mulligan looks up at the PA directly behind him. He looks over at Jason, who returns his glance.
The two continue to grit their teeth through the song. Jason looks up at the PA and notices that it is held up by screws. He slides open a drawer next to him and reaches in.
He pulls out a screwdriver which he then and holds up for Mulligan to see and grins. Mulligan grins back and nods, taking the tool.
Mulligan stabs straight through the PA System with the screwdriver.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
Mulligan sits in a small chair in front of the desk looking unimpressed as Thad paces back and forth flipping through a manila folder.
Thad stops in front of the desk and throws the folder down in front of Mulligan. Mulligan reluctantly picks the folder up and flips through its contents.
One paper is titled: “Background Check: empl. #25217.” It is stamped with the word FAIL in large letters, and the word “terminate immediately” is scrawled across the top.
Thad sits down.
THAD
You’re fired of course.
Mulligan looks down at the paper, nods to himself then stands up. He climbs up on the chair, unzips, and pisses all over Thad and the desk. Thad reacts by falling backwards out of his chair.
THAD
JESUS! What the hell!
Mulligan zips back up, gets off the chair, and walks calmly out the office door, bumping hard into Casey as he leaves. Casey walks in, looks around and sniffs the air.
CASEY
What smells like urine?
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Jason walks out of the theater and pulls his keys out of his pocket, playing with them a bit. He looks up and slows his walk a bit.
Mulligan is sitting on top of Jason’s car.
MULLIGAN
Hey.
There is an awkward pause.
JASON
Hey...you need a ride?
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason drives down a darkened road. Mulligan sits looking out the passenger side window.
JASON
So what are you going to do now?
Mulligan pauses. He pulls a gun out of his pants and cocks it before turning to answer.
MULLIGAN
I’m gonna rob the shit out of them. Turn left.
Jason, shocked, doesn’t watch the road and has to swerve to avoid an accident.
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED
Jason pulls up to the shed and stops the car. He looks incredulously at Mulligan, who nods and gets out of the car, leaving Jason dumbfounded.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED
Sledge opens the shed door just a crack and pokes one eyeball out, speaking through the crack.
SLEDGE
Who the hell is this?
MULLIGAN
This is my friend Jason. Jason, this is Sledge.
Sledge cautiously opens the door a little wider and leans one arm out to shake Jason’s hand.
JASON
Why do they call you sledge?
SLEDGE
Why? Don’t you think it sounds tough?
JASON
I guess so...
SLEDGE
Because I’ve been thinking about changing it...to something cool, you know, like Bones, or, or Thor...you know, something real tough.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason sits in the box office selling tickets to an ANGRY CUSTOMER.
JASON (V.O.)
Of course, at the time I didn’t take them seriously. Besides, I love my job.
ANGRY CUSTOMER
Well you can take your 99 cent fee and shove it sideways up your asshole buddy.
EXT. THEATER DUMPSTER
Jason hoists a huge bag of trash into the dumpster. Part of the bag gets caught on a corner and rips, pouring garbage all over him.
INT. THEATER HALLS
Jason escorts Brontavio and Deletrius down the hallway. He points to the door with his broom.
JASON
If you can’t stay in your movie then you can’t stay in the theater.
Deletrius kicks Jason squarely in the balls, and he crumples to the ground as the two run off.
JASON (V.O.)
Well, I love parts of my job.
SHORT MONTAGE TO “HALLELUJAH”
A few seconds of a few scenes: Jason has sex with Erin in the janitors closet, lifting her in the air and pressing her up against the wall. She straddles him on a toilet. Then they have sex in one of the theaters as he bends her over a row of seats. Popcorn starts to pop. Then they have sex in Thad’s office; Erin is bent over a copier which keeps copying her face in ecstasy. More popcorn. They have sex in the projection booth, and their silhouettes show up on the screen. As the lovemaking heats up popcorn starts popping faster and faster. Finally the kettle overflows in a popcorn orgasm and:
INT. WHAT APPEARS TO BE A BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jason and Erin collapse on a mattress after sex. They both pant for a moment before Erin turns to look at Jason
ERIN
Do you love me Jason?
Jason appears not to be listening, instead basking in the afterglow. His eyes remain shut.
JASON
Of course.
Erin smiles and gazes straight ahead of her.
ERIN
Good. Because I’m pregnant.
Jason’s post coital calmness vanishes instantly into a paralyzing look of terror. The camera pulls out quickly revealing a mattress in the back of Erin’s pickup truck parked in front of the theater.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
INT. JASON’S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT
Jason sits at a desk pouring over financial records by lamp light. He scribbles a few things the sinks his head into his hands, defeated.
JASON (V.O.)
However I did the math it came out the same. I didn’t have the three hundred dollars to pay for an abortion. Actually having the kid would’ve been ungodly expensive. Luckily, Erin wasn’t really the mothering type. In any case, five dollars and fifteen cents an hour wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED - LATER - NIGHT
Jason stands outside an old shed in a hoodie. He breathes heavily, letting out a plume of vapor, then takes a step forward and bangs on the door of the shed.
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason sits at the wheel of his car. He looks as though he is concentrating very hard.
JASON (V.O.)
Of course, Erin wasn’t too happy with my financial strategy.
Erin pops up from Jason’s lap panting slightly to say:
ERIN
You’re a moron Jason.
Jason pushes her head back into his lap.
JASON (V.O.)
But hey, who is she to complain, she’s the one that got knocked up. Besides, like I told her, the robbery was just my way of making up for two years of lost wages.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED - EARLIER
A single bulb warmly illuminates Jason, Mulligan, and Sledge. The three stand over a table which Mulligan spreads a large page across.
MULLIGAN
Christmas night. That’s the busiest night of the year, and that’s when we stand to profit the most. Jason, you’re here in the box.
INT. THEATER LOBBY - CHRISTMAS NIGHT
Jason sits in the box office looking deadpan. Let it snow continues over the intercom.
We see Sledge tuck a 9mm into the back of his pants under his Santa suit while the woman in front of him buys a ticket.
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
Sledge, you come in here.
A man dressed as Santa Claus walks up to the window and Jason slides him a ticket and nods. Santa Nods back.
Jason looks nervously over his shoulder, out of the box office. Sledge, dressed as Santa and surrounded by gawking children, has his arm in a large Santa bag.
JASON (V.O.)
Come on Sledge, don’t blow this already.
Sledge nervously pulls a wrapped present out of his bag and gives it to a kid. His voice cracks as he speaks.
SLEDGE
Here, take it. Take ‘em all.
Sledge upends the bag in the middle of the lobby and backs away from them.
A sea of parental eyes fixate harshly on Sledge as children scramble for the toys from across the lobby. In the chaos Sledge backs down the hall into a big theater and out from under the collective glares of
disdainful parents.
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
You go into a movie and stay there until Jason gives you the signal. Got it?
SLEDGE (O.S.)
When do I get the gun?
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
Shut up Sledge.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
Thad sits in the office counting huge stacks of money. On the security display behind him we see Sledge walk up a set of stairs with a gun in his hand and an empty sack over his shoulder.
INT. THEATER PROJECTION BOOTH
The booth is a long dark hallway lined with enormous projectors. Film ribbons fly through the air, and clatter madly, filling the room with noise.
Sledge pokes his head into the booth. He proceeds cautiously, and gun first. As he walks he gains a certain swagger of confidence.
He plays a bit with the gun, pointing it quickly one direction then swinging 180. He chuckles to himself and walks up to a projector.
He examines a spinning platter cautiously then taps it a bit with his pistol. He prods the film, which catches the gun and tears a bit, causing a film break and shutting off the movie.
The projection alarms go off, and Sledge suddenly panics, running quickly towards the office. Thad barrels through the door to check on the alarm and ends up down the hallway from Sledge, and facing the wrong side of a gun.
SLEDGE
Get in the fucking office you cock sucker.
THAD
What?
SLEDGE
I said get in the god-damned room you mother fucking cock sucking fucking fucker!
Thad squints and leans closer to hear over the alarm and projectors.
THAD
What?
Sledge, frustrated, lowers his barrel and sighs. He gestures vehemently with the gun towards the door. Thad follows the barrel to the gun, squinting at Sledge.
He points at the door handle looking inquisitive. Sledge slaps his forehead, then throws his hand up.
SLEDGE
Jesus! Yes...open the door.
Thad slowly eases the door open and steps backwards through it.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason is wiping the same spot on the counter over and over. He doesn’t notice the customer in front of him until she speaks.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Hey...um, Our movie just cut off.
Jason looks up at the woman stunned.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
Casey, behind Jason quits scrubbing the popper and looks at Jason disdainfully.
CASEY
Fine, I’ll take care of it.
Jason looks up suddenly as Casey jogs out of the concession stand.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED - EARLIER
A single bulb warmly illuminates Jason, Mulligan, and Sledge as they pour over the blueprints
MULLIGAN
Jason, your job here is simple. Don’t let anyone upstairs while Sledge is up there.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Casey jogs out of the concession stand and a suddenly alert Jason darts after him. He turns the corner too far away to stop Casey, who is dashing down the hall towards the office.
JASON
Wait!
Casey turns to look back at Jason, just then Brontavio and Deletrius pop out from behind two pillars on opposite sides of the hall. They pull a jump rope taught at ankle level and Casey trips wildly over it, lying in a pile on the ground.
The two boys run around the corner, escaping.
JASON
Look out.
Suddenly the door to the office stairwell springs open and Sledge runs headlong out the door, not even noticing Jason.
He trips over Casey and does a clumsy roll, getting back on his feet without losing too much speed. He then dashes back towards the lobby.
JASON
Hey wait, where are you going!
Suddenly, Thad throws the door open and limps through quickly carrying a golf club.
THAD
I’m gonna kill you, you bastard! You shot me in my effing foot.
He chases Sledge around the corner, but his foot is bleeding all over the place, and he seems a little light headed.
After a stunned moment, Jason steps over Casey and rounds the corner back towards the lobby. Thad is exhausted, and leans on the concession counter panting.
Through the glass doors police cars are flashing their lights.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
Jason dashes through the lobby to...
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT
Two cops have someone restrained against their car. Their backs are to Jason, obscuring his view. The camera spins dizzily as Jason watches his world fall apart.
POLICEMAN 1
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided to you by the state.
One of the policemen sees Jason and takes a step back from the car revealing a handcuffed Deletrious.
POLICEMAN 2
You know this kid?
INT. THEATER HALLS
Casey is still on the floor where he fell. Impatient Customer walks out of her movie and looks down at Casey’s crumpled figure.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Um, hey, our movie still hasn’t come back on yet.
Casey groans painfully.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
I want to talk to your manager.
Down the hall in the lobby Thad faints hitting his head on the tile floor.
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT
An ambulance has arrived, and Casey and Thad are being taken out on stretchers. Jason leans against a pillar in front of the theater talking to a policeman with a note pad.
The policeman shuts the pad.
POLICEMAN 1
Well, I don’t know if we’ll catch the guys. I mean, between you and me, even if we find him, a bunch of cops taking out Santa Claus isn’t exactly what we need in the papers, you know kid. Anyway, thanks for your help, we’ll call you if we need anything else. Go get some rest.
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason drives alone down a street at night. He slowly starts to chuckle to himself, then it becomes a full belly laugh.
SLEDGE (O.C.)
What a rush right?
Sledge sits up in the back seat of Jason’s car, hundreds sticking out from between his fingers. Jason screams and swerves the car.
An oncoming truck leans on its horn as Jason rushes towards it. The semi driver screams inaudible profanities.
At the last minute he pulls out of the way of the truck and over to the side of the road safely. Jason and Sledge pant wildly in the car.
SLEDGE
What a rush right?
JASON
Give me three hundred dollars.
Sledge looks at him strangely for a second before tentatively holding out a greasy fistful of hundreds. Jason snatches the money.
JASON
Now Sledge...
SLEDGE
Yeah Jason?
JASON
Get the hell out of my car.
EXT. JASON’S VOLVO
Sledge stands on the side of the road in a Santa Suit with a giant sack full of money as Jason drives off. He pulls out a cell phone and dials.
SLEDGE
Hey Mulligan, I think I’m going to need a ride.
EXT. ABORTION CLINIC
Jason hands Erin some money and sits in the car as he watches her climb the steps.
JASON (V.O.)
There’s something humbling about almost dying. Maybe its that pivotal moment when you to come face to face with your mortality. Maybe its the next moment, when you lose all control of your bowels. It doesn’t really matter, what mattered was, I had to get out. Out of the heist, out of the Movie-Mike, even out of Erin.
Jason cranks up the car and drives off.
INT. BEDROOM
The camera pans over a lavish room, across a fireplace onto a tiger skin rug.
JASON (V.O.)
Don’t worry about her, she’ll do fine. In fact, she actually goes on to be one of the lucky few who make it in showbiz.
The camera continues to pan, revealing Erin, naked and moaning on all fours.
DIRECTOR
Aaaand...cut! Excellent.
INT. HOSPITAL BED
Casey sits in bed with a cast on each arm and a neck brace. He is grinning. Someone holds an enormous check out, and a flash goes off as someone else in the room photographs him.
JASON
This kid won some sort of court case against the theater. Ended up better off than any of us.
INT. MALL
Sledge, dressed as Santa sits in a throne, completely overwhelmed by a huge line of children.
JASON
Sledge and mulligan blew through their money pretty fast and had to go back to the grind.
The camera pans to reveal Mulligan working at a lemonade stand adjacent, and spitting into an appalled customer’s cup.
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY
Jason speeds his Volvo down the road smiling.
JASON
As for me, well, who knows?
Jason speeds off into the sunset.
Yelac the Smith: will offend tallish boys
ElectricSweater: thats our most important demographic!
Yelac the Smith: i know they buy and spend
Yelac the Smith: for 1.5 people
Please read this and comment if you have enough time. Its due tomorrow at 12:30
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
JASON (21) sits in the driver’s seat of an old Volvo screaming. His car swerves wildly out of control towards an oncoming semi. The semi driver leans on his horn and shouts inaudible profanities. “Let it Snow” plays in the background.
FADE TO BLACK.
JASON (V.O.)
What a rush.
INTERTITLE (FADE IN)
Christmas Night
INT. THEATER LOBBY - CHRISTMAS NIGHT
Jason sits in the box office looking deadpan. Let it snow continues over the intercom. The lobby is absolutely packed with families. He hands a woman her tickets.
A man dressed as Santa Claus walks up to the window and Jason slides him a ticket and nods. Santa Nods back
SANTA
Merry Christmas.
JASON
Merry Christmas Santa.
JASON (V.O.)
What the happy campers behind him in line don’t know, is that Santa has a nine millimeter in that big bag of his, and an itchy trigger finger.
Santa walks through the lobby looking very cautious. He carries a large bag full of presents. A little boy runs up to Santa and tugs on his pants leg.
Santa looks around and sees a room full of children staring at him.
SANTA
Uh..erm..
Jason looks nervously over his shoulder. Everything seems to him to move in slow motion as Santa lowers the bag from his shoulder and reaches inside it.
JASON (V.O.)
Come on Sledge, don’t blow this already.
FADE OUT.
INT. THEATER LOBBY - THREE MONTHS EARLIER
Cue opening credits as the camera tours the lobby. CASEY (22) sells tickets to customers in line. MULLIGAN (34) and Jason stand behind the concession stand.
All employees wear the uniform, a maroon vest with a name tag on the left breast, a white button down shirt, a bow-tie and black slacks.
ERIN (21), working as an usher walks past Jason and winks. Jason looks over at her and his eyebrows raise slightly. As Erin walks around the corner. Jason looks up at the customer in his line.
JASON
I’m sorry sir, I’m closed. They can help you down at that end.
He points to the other side of the concession stand where Mulligan is already handling a full line of customers. Jason takes off out of the concession stand, stranding the next customer.
INT. THEATER HALLS
The door to a janitor’s closet bumps slightly from outside.
JASON (V.O.)
This is me, Jason Dike, loyal, dedicated, hard-working Movie-Mike employee.
INT. JANITOR’S CLOSET
Jason has Erin pressed up against the door of the closet. They are making out.
JASON (V.O.)
This is my girlfriend Erin.
Erin spins Jason around and sinks down below camera view. Jason’s head tilts back and his eyes close.
JASON (V.O.)
My loving girlfriend Erin.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason is wiping the same spot on the counter over and over. He doesn’t notice the customer in front of him until she speaks.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Hey...um, Our movie just cut off.
Jason looks up at the woman stunned. Casey, behind Jason quits scrubbing the popper and looks at Jason disdainfully.
CASEY
Fine, I’ll take care of it.
Jason looks up suddenly as Casey jogs out of the concession stand.
JASON (V.O.)
Don’t let this fool you. I’m actually pretty good at my job. Its easy if you remember a few simple rules.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Mulligan stands behind the counter as TEENAGE GIRL pushes a cup of ice cream across the counter.
TEENAGE GIRL
I asked for rocky-road.
Mulligan stares her down for a split second.
JASON (V.O.)
Number one: The customer is always right.
Mulligan takes the ice cream from the counter and scrapes it out with his fingers into the trash can. He licks his fingers then reaches into the ice cream freezer and pulls out a fist full of rocky-road, which he deposits in the cup and gives to the customer, who just stares up at him shocked.
Behind him, another employee picks up the air-phone behind concession.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
THAD (28) dark hair, button up shirt, tie, suit jacket that doesn’t match his pants, good-old-boy accent sits in the office playing Mario Golf.
The phone rings. Thad, still playing, picks the phone up and balances it on his shoulder.
THAD
Yeah. No, I can’t come down, I have a lot of paperwork to do.
He hangs up the phone.
JASON (V.O.)
Number two: the management is always wrong.
Thad hits a hole in one.
THAD
YEAH! Take that toad, you fucking fairy.
Behind Thad a series of TV screens show security footage from the theater. On one screen we see:
INT. THEATER HALLS
Casey leans on a wall next to Mulligan, who is sweeping up a pile of popcorn. Down the hall behind them, two kids, BRONTAVIO and DELETRIUS (12) poke their heads out of a theater.
JASON (V.O.)
Number three: the most important of the rules. Watch out for these kids.
Mulligan continues sweeping. Suddenly a large cup flies down the hall into Mull’s back, spilling its yellow contents all over him.
Mulligan spins around and takes off down the hall. Casey jerks himself upright.
MULLIGAN
You fucking shits! I’m gonna cut your dicks off and make you fuck each other!
Casey watches Mull chase the kids and sniffs the air.
CASEY
Is that urine?
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED - LATER - NIGHT
Jason stands outside an old shed in a hoodie. He breathes heavily, letting out a plume of vapor, then takes a step forward and bangs on the door of the shed.
Mulligan opens the door just a crack at first, then, seeing Jason, slides it the rest of the way open. SLEDGE (25, small, goatee) is shown in the background staring over a blueprint on a table.
JASON
I’m in.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Mulligan and Jason stand behind the concession stand. They lean against the back counter staring forward. Cher’s “Believe” pumps through the speakers into an otherwise empty lobby.
The two stand stock still for a moment clenching their jaws, then Mulligan looks up at the PA directly behind him. He looks over at Jason, who returns his glance.
The two continue to grit their teeth through the song. Jason looks up at the PA and notices that it is held up by screws. He slides open a drawer next to him and reaches in.
He pulls out a screwdriver which he then and holds up for Mulligan to see and grins. Mulligan grins back and nods, taking the tool.
Mulligan stabs straight through the PA System with the screwdriver.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
Mulligan sits in a small chair in front of the desk looking unimpressed as Thad paces back and forth flipping through a manila folder.
Thad stops in front of the desk and throws the folder down in front of Mulligan. Mulligan reluctantly picks the folder up and flips through its contents.
One paper is titled: “Background Check: empl. #25217.” It is stamped with the word FAIL in large letters, and the word “terminate immediately” is scrawled across the top.
Thad sits down.
THAD
You’re fired of course.
Mulligan looks down at the paper, nods to himself then stands up. He climbs up on the chair, unzips, and pisses all over Thad and the desk. Thad reacts by falling backwards out of his chair.
THAD
JESUS! What the hell!
Mulligan zips back up, gets off the chair, and walks calmly out the office door, bumping hard into Casey as he leaves. Casey walks in, looks around and sniffs the air.
CASEY
What smells like urine?
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Jason walks out of the theater and pulls his keys out of his pocket, playing with them a bit. He looks up and slows his walk a bit.
Mulligan is sitting on top of Jason’s car.
MULLIGAN
Hey.
There is an awkward pause.
JASON
Hey...you need a ride?
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason drives down a darkened road. Mulligan sits looking out the passenger side window.
JASON
So what are you going to do now?
Mulligan pauses. He pulls a gun out of his pants and cocks it before turning to answer.
MULLIGAN
I’m gonna rob the shit out of them. Turn left.
Jason, shocked, doesn’t watch the road and has to swerve to avoid an accident.
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED
Jason pulls up to the shed and stops the car. He looks incredulously at Mulligan, who nods and gets out of the car, leaving Jason dumbfounded.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED
Sledge opens the shed door just a crack and pokes one eyeball out, speaking through the crack.
SLEDGE
Who the hell is this?
MULLIGAN
This is my friend Jason. Jason, this is Sledge.
Sledge cautiously opens the door a little wider and leans one arm out to shake Jason’s hand.
JASON
Why do they call you sledge?
SLEDGE
Why? Don’t you think it sounds tough?
JASON
I guess so...
SLEDGE
Because I’ve been thinking about changing it...to something cool, you know, like Bones, or, or Thor...you know, something real tough.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason sits in the box office selling tickets to an ANGRY CUSTOMER.
JASON (V.O.)
Of course, at the time I didn’t take them seriously. Besides, I love my job.
ANGRY CUSTOMER
Well you can take your 99 cent fee and shove it sideways up your asshole buddy.
EXT. THEATER DUMPSTER
Jason hoists a huge bag of trash into the dumpster. Part of the bag gets caught on a corner and rips, pouring garbage all over him.
INT. THEATER HALLS
Jason escorts Brontavio and Deletrius down the hallway. He points to the door with his broom.
JASON
If you can’t stay in your movie then you can’t stay in the theater.
Deletrius kicks Jason squarely in the balls, and he crumples to the ground as the two run off.
JASON (V.O.)
Well, I love parts of my job.
SHORT MONTAGE TO “HALLELUJAH”
A few seconds of a few scenes: Jason has sex with Erin in the janitors closet, lifting her in the air and pressing her up against the wall. She straddles him on a toilet. Then they have sex in one of the theaters as he bends her over a row of seats. Popcorn starts to pop. Then they have sex in Thad’s office; Erin is bent over a copier which keeps copying her face in ecstasy. More popcorn. They have sex in the projection booth, and their silhouettes show up on the screen. As the lovemaking heats up popcorn starts popping faster and faster. Finally the kettle overflows in a popcorn orgasm and:
INT. WHAT APPEARS TO BE A BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jason and Erin collapse on a mattress after sex. They both pant for a moment before Erin turns to look at Jason
ERIN
Do you love me Jason?
Jason appears not to be listening, instead basking in the afterglow. His eyes remain shut.
JASON
Of course.
Erin smiles and gazes straight ahead of her.
ERIN
Good. Because I’m pregnant.
Jason’s post coital calmness vanishes instantly into a paralyzing look of terror. The camera pulls out quickly revealing a mattress in the back of Erin’s pickup truck parked in front of the theater.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
INT. JASON’S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT
Jason sits at a desk pouring over financial records by lamp light. He scribbles a few things the sinks his head into his hands, defeated.
JASON (V.O.)
However I did the math it came out the same. I didn’t have the three hundred dollars to pay for an abortion. Actually having the kid would’ve been ungodly expensive. Luckily, Erin wasn’t really the mothering type. In any case, five dollars and fifteen cents an hour wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
EXT. SLEDGE’S SHED - LATER - NIGHT
Jason stands outside an old shed in a hoodie. He breathes heavily, letting out a plume of vapor, then takes a step forward and bangs on the door of the shed.
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason sits at the wheel of his car. He looks as though he is concentrating very hard.
JASON (V.O.)
Of course, Erin wasn’t too happy with my financial strategy.
Erin pops up from Jason’s lap panting slightly to say:
ERIN
You’re a moron Jason.
Jason pushes her head back into his lap.
JASON (V.O.)
But hey, who is she to complain, she’s the one that got knocked up. Besides, like I told her, the robbery was just my way of making up for two years of lost wages.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED - EARLIER
A single bulb warmly illuminates Jason, Mulligan, and Sledge. The three stand over a table which Mulligan spreads a large page across.
MULLIGAN
Christmas night. That’s the busiest night of the year, and that’s when we stand to profit the most. Jason, you’re here in the box.
INT. THEATER LOBBY - CHRISTMAS NIGHT
Jason sits in the box office looking deadpan. Let it snow continues over the intercom.
We see Sledge tuck a 9mm into the back of his pants under his Santa suit while the woman in front of him buys a ticket.
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
Sledge, you come in here.
A man dressed as Santa Claus walks up to the window and Jason slides him a ticket and nods. Santa Nods back.
Jason looks nervously over his shoulder, out of the box office. Sledge, dressed as Santa and surrounded by gawking children, has his arm in a large Santa bag.
JASON (V.O.)
Come on Sledge, don’t blow this already.
Sledge nervously pulls a wrapped present out of his bag and gives it to a kid. His voice cracks as he speaks.
SLEDGE
Here, take it. Take ‘em all.
Sledge upends the bag in the middle of the lobby and backs away from them.
A sea of parental eyes fixate harshly on Sledge as children scramble for the toys from across the lobby. In the chaos Sledge backs down the hall into a big theater and out from under the collective glares of
disdainful parents.
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
You go into a movie and stay there until Jason gives you the signal. Got it?
SLEDGE (O.S.)
When do I get the gun?
MULLIGAN (O.S.)
Shut up Sledge.
INT. THEATER OFFICE
Thad sits in the office counting huge stacks of money. On the security display behind him we see Sledge walk up a set of stairs with a gun in his hand and an empty sack over his shoulder.
INT. THEATER PROJECTION BOOTH
The booth is a long dark hallway lined with enormous projectors. Film ribbons fly through the air, and clatter madly, filling the room with noise.
Sledge pokes his head into the booth. He proceeds cautiously, and gun first. As he walks he gains a certain swagger of confidence.
He plays a bit with the gun, pointing it quickly one direction then swinging 180. He chuckles to himself and walks up to a projector.
He examines a spinning platter cautiously then taps it a bit with his pistol. He prods the film, which catches the gun and tears a bit, causing a film break and shutting off the movie.
The projection alarms go off, and Sledge suddenly panics, running quickly towards the office. Thad barrels through the door to check on the alarm and ends up down the hallway from Sledge, and facing the wrong side of a gun.
SLEDGE
Get in the fucking office you cock sucker.
THAD
What?
SLEDGE
I said get in the god-damned room you mother fucking cock sucking fucking fucker!
Thad squints and leans closer to hear over the alarm and projectors.
THAD
What?
Sledge, frustrated, lowers his barrel and sighs. He gestures vehemently with the gun towards the door. Thad follows the barrel to the gun, squinting at Sledge.
He points at the door handle looking inquisitive. Sledge slaps his forehead, then throws his hand up.
SLEDGE
Jesus! Yes...open the door.
Thad slowly eases the door open and steps backwards through it.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Jason is wiping the same spot on the counter over and over. He doesn’t notice the customer in front of him until she speaks.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Hey...um, Our movie just cut off.
Jason looks up at the woman stunned.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
Casey, behind Jason quits scrubbing the popper and looks at Jason disdainfully.
CASEY
Fine, I’ll take care of it.
Jason looks up suddenly as Casey jogs out of the concession stand.
INT. SLEDGE’S SHED - EARLIER
A single bulb warmly illuminates Jason, Mulligan, and Sledge as they pour over the blueprints
MULLIGAN
Jason, your job here is simple. Don’t let anyone upstairs while Sledge is up there.
INT. THEATER LOBBY
Casey jogs out of the concession stand and a suddenly alert Jason darts after him. He turns the corner too far away to stop Casey, who is dashing down the hall towards the office.
JASON
Wait!
Casey turns to look back at Jason, just then Brontavio and Deletrius pop out from behind two pillars on opposite sides of the hall. They pull a jump rope taught at ankle level and Casey trips wildly over it, lying in a pile on the ground.
The two boys run around the corner, escaping.
JASON
Look out.
Suddenly the door to the office stairwell springs open and Sledge runs headlong out the door, not even noticing Jason.
He trips over Casey and does a clumsy roll, getting back on his feet without losing too much speed. He then dashes back towards the lobby.
JASON
Hey wait, where are you going!
Suddenly, Thad throws the door open and limps through quickly carrying a golf club.
THAD
I’m gonna kill you, you bastard! You shot me in my effing foot.
He chases Sledge around the corner, but his foot is bleeding all over the place, and he seems a little light headed.
After a stunned moment, Jason steps over Casey and rounds the corner back towards the lobby. Thad is exhausted, and leans on the concession counter panting.
Through the glass doors police cars are flashing their lights.
JASON (V.O.)
Oh. Shit.
Jason dashes through the lobby to...
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT
Two cops have someone restrained against their car. Their backs are to Jason, obscuring his view. The camera spins dizzily as Jason watches his world fall apart.
POLICEMAN 1
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided to you by the state.
One of the policemen sees Jason and takes a step back from the car revealing a handcuffed Deletrious.
POLICEMAN 2
You know this kid?
INT. THEATER HALLS
Casey is still on the floor where he fell. Impatient Customer walks out of her movie and looks down at Casey’s crumpled figure.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
Um, hey, our movie still hasn’t come back on yet.
Casey groans painfully.
IMPATIENT CUSTOMER
I want to talk to your manager.
Down the hall in the lobby Thad faints hitting his head on the tile floor.
EXT. THEATER PARKING LOT
An ambulance has arrived, and Casey and Thad are being taken out on stretchers. Jason leans against a pillar in front of the theater talking to a policeman with a note pad.
The policeman shuts the pad.
POLICEMAN 1
Well, I don’t know if we’ll catch the guys. I mean, between you and me, even if we find him, a bunch of cops taking out Santa Claus isn’t exactly what we need in the papers, you know kid. Anyway, thanks for your help, we’ll call you if we need anything else. Go get some rest.
INT. JASON’S VOLVO
Jason drives alone down a street at night. He slowly starts to chuckle to himself, then it becomes a full belly laugh.
SLEDGE (O.C.)
What a rush right?
Sledge sits up in the back seat of Jason’s car, hundreds sticking out from between his fingers. Jason screams and swerves the car.
An oncoming truck leans on its horn as Jason rushes towards it. The semi driver screams inaudible profanities.
At the last minute he pulls out of the way of the truck and over to the side of the road safely. Jason and Sledge pant wildly in the car.
SLEDGE
What a rush right?
JASON
Give me three hundred dollars.
Sledge looks at him strangely for a second before tentatively holding out a greasy fistful of hundreds. Jason snatches the money.
JASON
Now Sledge...
SLEDGE
Yeah Jason?
JASON
Get the hell out of my car.
EXT. JASON’S VOLVO
Sledge stands on the side of the road in a Santa Suit with a giant sack full of money as Jason drives off. He pulls out a cell phone and dials.
SLEDGE
Hey Mulligan, I think I’m going to need a ride.
EXT. ABORTION CLINIC
Jason hands Erin some money and sits in the car as he watches her climb the steps.
JASON (V.O.)
There’s something humbling about almost dying. Maybe its that pivotal moment when you to come face to face with your mortality. Maybe its the next moment, when you lose all control of your bowels. It doesn’t really matter, what mattered was, I had to get out. Out of the heist, out of the Movie-Mike, even out of Erin.
Jason cranks up the car and drives off.
INT. BEDROOM
The camera pans over a lavish room, across a fireplace onto a tiger skin rug.
JASON (V.O.)
Don’t worry about her, she’ll do fine. In fact, she actually goes on to be one of the lucky few who make it in showbiz.
The camera continues to pan, revealing Erin, naked and moaning on all fours.
DIRECTOR
Aaaand...cut! Excellent.
INT. HOSPITAL BED
Casey sits in bed with a cast on each arm and a neck brace. He is grinning. Someone holds an enormous check out, and a flash goes off as someone else in the room photographs him.
JASON
This kid won some sort of court case against the theater. Ended up better off than any of us.
INT. MALL
Sledge, dressed as Santa sits in a throne, completely overwhelmed by a huge line of children.
JASON
Sledge and mulligan blew through their money pretty fast and had to go back to the grind.
The camera pans to reveal Mulligan working at a lemonade stand adjacent, and spitting into an appalled customer’s cup.
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY
Jason speeds his Volvo down the road smiling.
JASON
As for me, well, who knows?
Jason speeds off into the sunset.