In the Dark (I touch myself)
Title: In the Dark (I touch myself)
Pairing: Koyama/Tegoshi
Rating: R
Words: 1,660
Summary: “He doesn’t feel guilty for imagining him like this. Why should he? It feels good, makes him feel good, to imagine he’s the one touching him.”
Notes: A very merry un-birthday to bananyphophany. Really, I will write a cute KoyaTego someday.
Tegoshi lies sprawled across his bed in the twilight dark of his apartment, body still damp and warm from his bath and the cool air over his skin makes gooseflesh rise even before he begins trailing fingertips across his chest in random patterns, moaning quietly when he brings them over a nipple. He closes his eyes as he moves lower, imagining fingers a little longer and thinner than his own. He doesn’t feel guilty for imagining him like this. Why should he? It feels good, makes him feel good, to imagine he’s the one touching him. That’s why when he shudders, orgasm overwhelming him, he cries out Koyama’s name and feels no shame.
~*~
Koyama wakes in the middle of the night with a groan, libido sending an urgent signal to his brain, and he tries to block out the vivid dream he’d been having of pink lips wrapped around his erection, and Koyama can’t keep his eyes off the single freckle just above them until he’s distracted by a hum and he looks into Tegoshi’s eyes, pupils blown wide with want. He groans again and fists himself, gives in and saves the guilt for later.
~*~
After Koyama staggered out of the club with Massu, Tegoshi, frustrated, made a beeline for the bathroom. It was dark, just a single dim fixture trying to illuminate a bathroom done in black, and when he shut himself in the stall, it was so easy to close his eyes and lean up against its wall, slipping cool fingers over sweat-slicked abs and under the waistband of his boxer-briefs after he snapped the button of his pants. He remembered the outline of Koyama’s half-hard cock pressed against his ass as they danced and the glazed look in Koyama’s eyes when he’d turned to face him and lean up to whisper in his ear. He’d known Koyama wouldn’t hear him, but he’d felt the need to be flush against his body if only for a moment, and the slightly less-than-innocent way Koyama had reached up a hand to grip Tegoshi’s hip was what Tegoshi imagined now; insistent grip with unrelenting pounding and Koyama’s slim fingers wrapped around his cock.
~*~
Shige was still out at the club having drinks with Ryo and that meant Koyama had about two hours to himself. He took a long shower and went through his nightly routine before shutting out all the lights and laying himself out on top of the bed. He flashed back to the last three hours in the club, specifically the last hour there when Tegoshi had been just this side of really tipsy and grinding against Koyama like there should be no air between them, let alone clothing. He had stood on his tiptoes and whispered something into Koyama’s ear. He’d had no idea what Tegoshi was saying but he shuddered at the feeling of Tegoshi’s slick lips grazing the shell of his ear with every syllable. He shuddered now, imagining them again as he moved his hand faster and faster, breath coming in ragged pants and he reached the peak and went tumbling over, a broken moan pulling from his throat as he spilled over his fingers, when the room was flooded with light and his eyes snapped open to see Shige staring open-mouthed at him before quickly stepping back out.
“Fuck,” Koyama groaned, sitting up and grabbing his shirt to clean himself off, still trembling.
Once he’d pulled his pants on, he heard a knock at the door. “Yeah, yeah,” he said loudly, and Shige sheepishly came into the room.
They were both silent as Shige got his things ready for bed, but Shige turned to him just before he entered the shower. “That tall redhead was pretty hot, right?” he said with an embarrassed grin and then disappeared.
Koyama pulled the covers over him and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t know how to tell Shige that it was really the short brunet he was more interested in, and that it wasn’t a girl.
~*~
Tegoshi watched Koyama in his periphery as he talked to Shige; watched him squat down to rummage through his bag and thought of how the tight muscles were bunching under his clothing, strong thighs flexing as he stood back up and sprawled out on the couch to read. He looked edible, long limbs arranged haphazardly, and Tegoshi wanted to crawl up between his legs and place lazy kisses in the curve of his neck. He could already feel an interested stirring in his groin when Koyama looked up at him and suddenly blushed when he saw that Tegoshi was looking back.
Ah ha, he thought.
~*~
Koyama was beginning to feel like some kind of deviant. He snuck embarrassed looks at the object of his near-daily fantasies, at the fragile-looking angles of his elfin face, at the way he threw back his head and laughed in a fit of childish glee, and felt dirty.
He’s startled out of his self-pity session by a hand dropping on his shoulder and he looks up and behind into Massu’s smiling face.
“You coming with us to karaoke tonight? Tegoshi said to make sure you came.”
Koyama’s nostrils flared. Wouldn’t that be nice. And then he blushed to the roots of his hair. “I-I’m not sure that’s-“ and then Tegoshi was throwing himself into Koyama’s lap and wrapping tanned arms around his neck.
“C’mon, Koyama. It’s even more fun when you’re there. I like your special accompaniment.”
Koyama thought he’d like Tegoshi’s special accompaniment better, preferably as long drawn out moans and staccato words, and then thought he might pass out from embarrassment but his mouth said “Okay” entirely without his permission.
~*~
They left later than they should have, asking for another hour repeatedly and losing track of them until Massu looked at his cell phone with a bit of horror after its ringtone broke through Tegoshi’s rendition of “You Are Not Alone.”
“Sorry, Tegoshi,” he said ruefully as he gathered up his belongings and went to leave. “I won’t be able to take you home tonight, is that okay?”
“It’s okay,” he replied cheerfully. “Koyama will take me.”
Koyama gulped at the potential play on words. “Hey!” he protested, but it sounded weak even to him and Tegoshi just smiled charmingly at him.
As Koyama pulled into the lot of Tegoshi’s apartment complex, Tegoshi turned to him. “Come up?” he asked.
“Um. It’s a little late, isn’t it?”
“You don’t have any work tomorrow though, right?”
“No,” he replied slowly.
“Good!”
Koyama told himself that this was as good a time as any to get over his recent infatuation. He needed to be able to be alone with Tegoshi without thinking about pinning him to the wall.
Tegoshi toed off his shoes and walked into the living room, stripping off his jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair, dropping his keys on the table with a clatter before padding into the kitchen.
“Want anything to drink, Koyama?”
“Water, please,” he said, trying to smooth the nervousness from his voice as he settled on the edge of the couch cushion.
Tegoshi came out with two bottled waters and flopped onto the couch, putting his legs up on the coffee table and turning on the tv. He settled on some drama neither of them were keeping up with and turned the volume down. When he noticed Koyama was still sitting forward, he tugged him back.
“You seem nervous,” he said, an impish grin on his face.
“No, I’m not. I’m just…”
Tegoshi leaned over, twisting fingers in Koyama’s shirt and pulling his face down as he stretched up and kissed him, a lingering press of lips full of promise.
Koyama, startled, pushed Tegoshi away and pressed his back against the arm of the couch. “Tegoshi! W-what was that for? That’s not funny.”
Tegoshi looked serenely at him. “I hadn’t meant for it to be. I’ve just wanted to do that for a while.”
“You… what?”
“Haven’t you?” he asked, shifting onto his knees to kneel on the cushion in front of Koyama.
“I… “ Koyama could feel his heart racing.
“I’m not teasing, Koyama. I’m actually asking.”
Koyama looked down tapped the knee of his folded leg. “Yes,” he muttered, and then Tegoshi was putting fingers against his chin and lifting his face and leaning in for another kiss.
Koyama didn’t push him away this time but he also didn’t respond and Tegoshi sat back and frowned at him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just,” Koyama whispered. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? I mean. No, I don’t know what I mean...” He foundered.
“There’s nothing wrong if it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone.” When Koyama looked up at him, tentative acceptance on his face, Tegoshi smirked. “And I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Koyama licked his lips and Tegoshi leaned in for a third try and this time Koyama responded, tangling fingers in Tegoshi’s hair and tugging him so that he straddled his lap. And when Tegoshi licked along the seam of Koyama’s lips, the older man finally gave in with a groan, pulling Tegoshi close and kissing him hard as he lifted him just enough to turn around and sit properly against the back of the couch and let Tegoshi kiss him into incoherency.
~*~
They don’t need the dark anymore, but sometimes Koyama will get this heated look in his eyes and will blush a bit before he turns out the light and finds Tegoshi by feel alone. Tegoshi likes these nights the best because, while he loves watching Koyama watch him, eyes dark with need and want, what he likes better is the feel of gentle hands pressing carefully against him, lips stuttering along his skin as they explore soft skin, quiet giggles when they don’t end up where expected; all their senses heightened by the missing one. And, anyway, Tegoshi knows that the dark belongs to them.
Pairing: Koyama/Tegoshi
Rating: R
Words: 1,660
Summary: “He doesn’t feel guilty for imagining him like this. Why should he? It feels good, makes him feel good, to imagine he’s the one touching him.”
Notes: A very merry un-birthday to bananyphophany. Really, I will write a cute KoyaTego someday.
Tegoshi lies sprawled across his bed in the twilight dark of his apartment, body still damp and warm from his bath and the cool air over his skin makes gooseflesh rise even before he begins trailing fingertips across his chest in random patterns, moaning quietly when he brings them over a nipple. He closes his eyes as he moves lower, imagining fingers a little longer and thinner than his own. He doesn’t feel guilty for imagining him like this. Why should he? It feels good, makes him feel good, to imagine he’s the one touching him. That’s why when he shudders, orgasm overwhelming him, he cries out Koyama’s name and feels no shame.
~*~
Koyama wakes in the middle of the night with a groan, libido sending an urgent signal to his brain, and he tries to block out the vivid dream he’d been having of pink lips wrapped around his erection, and Koyama can’t keep his eyes off the single freckle just above them until he’s distracted by a hum and he looks into Tegoshi’s eyes, pupils blown wide with want. He groans again and fists himself, gives in and saves the guilt for later.
~*~
After Koyama staggered out of the club with Massu, Tegoshi, frustrated, made a beeline for the bathroom. It was dark, just a single dim fixture trying to illuminate a bathroom done in black, and when he shut himself in the stall, it was so easy to close his eyes and lean up against its wall, slipping cool fingers over sweat-slicked abs and under the waistband of his boxer-briefs after he snapped the button of his pants. He remembered the outline of Koyama’s half-hard cock pressed against his ass as they danced and the glazed look in Koyama’s eyes when he’d turned to face him and lean up to whisper in his ear. He’d known Koyama wouldn’t hear him, but he’d felt the need to be flush against his body if only for a moment, and the slightly less-than-innocent way Koyama had reached up a hand to grip Tegoshi’s hip was what Tegoshi imagined now; insistent grip with unrelenting pounding and Koyama’s slim fingers wrapped around his cock.
~*~
Shige was still out at the club having drinks with Ryo and that meant Koyama had about two hours to himself. He took a long shower and went through his nightly routine before shutting out all the lights and laying himself out on top of the bed. He flashed back to the last three hours in the club, specifically the last hour there when Tegoshi had been just this side of really tipsy and grinding against Koyama like there should be no air between them, let alone clothing. He had stood on his tiptoes and whispered something into Koyama’s ear. He’d had no idea what Tegoshi was saying but he shuddered at the feeling of Tegoshi’s slick lips grazing the shell of his ear with every syllable. He shuddered now, imagining them again as he moved his hand faster and faster, breath coming in ragged pants and he reached the peak and went tumbling over, a broken moan pulling from his throat as he spilled over his fingers, when the room was flooded with light and his eyes snapped open to see Shige staring open-mouthed at him before quickly stepping back out.
“Fuck,” Koyama groaned, sitting up and grabbing his shirt to clean himself off, still trembling.
Once he’d pulled his pants on, he heard a knock at the door. “Yeah, yeah,” he said loudly, and Shige sheepishly came into the room.
They were both silent as Shige got his things ready for bed, but Shige turned to him just before he entered the shower. “That tall redhead was pretty hot, right?” he said with an embarrassed grin and then disappeared.
Koyama pulled the covers over him and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t know how to tell Shige that it was really the short brunet he was more interested in, and that it wasn’t a girl.
~*~
Tegoshi watched Koyama in his periphery as he talked to Shige; watched him squat down to rummage through his bag and thought of how the tight muscles were bunching under his clothing, strong thighs flexing as he stood back up and sprawled out on the couch to read. He looked edible, long limbs arranged haphazardly, and Tegoshi wanted to crawl up between his legs and place lazy kisses in the curve of his neck. He could already feel an interested stirring in his groin when Koyama looked up at him and suddenly blushed when he saw that Tegoshi was looking back.
Ah ha, he thought.
~*~
Koyama was beginning to feel like some kind of deviant. He snuck embarrassed looks at the object of his near-daily fantasies, at the fragile-looking angles of his elfin face, at the way he threw back his head and laughed in a fit of childish glee, and felt dirty.
He’s startled out of his self-pity session by a hand dropping on his shoulder and he looks up and behind into Massu’s smiling face.
“You coming with us to karaoke tonight? Tegoshi said to make sure you came.”
Koyama’s nostrils flared. Wouldn’t that be nice. And then he blushed to the roots of his hair. “I-I’m not sure that’s-“ and then Tegoshi was throwing himself into Koyama’s lap and wrapping tanned arms around his neck.
“C’mon, Koyama. It’s even more fun when you’re there. I like your special accompaniment.”
Koyama thought he’d like Tegoshi’s special accompaniment better, preferably as long drawn out moans and staccato words, and then thought he might pass out from embarrassment but his mouth said “Okay” entirely without his permission.
~*~
They left later than they should have, asking for another hour repeatedly and losing track of them until Massu looked at his cell phone with a bit of horror after its ringtone broke through Tegoshi’s rendition of “You Are Not Alone.”
“Sorry, Tegoshi,” he said ruefully as he gathered up his belongings and went to leave. “I won’t be able to take you home tonight, is that okay?”
“It’s okay,” he replied cheerfully. “Koyama will take me.”
Koyama gulped at the potential play on words. “Hey!” he protested, but it sounded weak even to him and Tegoshi just smiled charmingly at him.
As Koyama pulled into the lot of Tegoshi’s apartment complex, Tegoshi turned to him. “Come up?” he asked.
“Um. It’s a little late, isn’t it?”
“You don’t have any work tomorrow though, right?”
“No,” he replied slowly.
“Good!”
Koyama told himself that this was as good a time as any to get over his recent infatuation. He needed to be able to be alone with Tegoshi without thinking about pinning him to the wall.
Tegoshi toed off his shoes and walked into the living room, stripping off his jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair, dropping his keys on the table with a clatter before padding into the kitchen.
“Want anything to drink, Koyama?”
“Water, please,” he said, trying to smooth the nervousness from his voice as he settled on the edge of the couch cushion.
Tegoshi came out with two bottled waters and flopped onto the couch, putting his legs up on the coffee table and turning on the tv. He settled on some drama neither of them were keeping up with and turned the volume down. When he noticed Koyama was still sitting forward, he tugged him back.
“You seem nervous,” he said, an impish grin on his face.
“No, I’m not. I’m just…”
Tegoshi leaned over, twisting fingers in Koyama’s shirt and pulling his face down as he stretched up and kissed him, a lingering press of lips full of promise.
Koyama, startled, pushed Tegoshi away and pressed his back against the arm of the couch. “Tegoshi! W-what was that for? That’s not funny.”
Tegoshi looked serenely at him. “I hadn’t meant for it to be. I’ve just wanted to do that for a while.”
“You… what?”
“Haven’t you?” he asked, shifting onto his knees to kneel on the cushion in front of Koyama.
“I… “ Koyama could feel his heart racing.
“I’m not teasing, Koyama. I’m actually asking.”
Koyama looked down tapped the knee of his folded leg. “Yes,” he muttered, and then Tegoshi was putting fingers against his chin and lifting his face and leaning in for another kiss.
Koyama didn’t push him away this time but he also didn’t respond and Tegoshi sat back and frowned at him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just,” Koyama whispered. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? I mean. No, I don’t know what I mean...” He foundered.
“There’s nothing wrong if it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone.” When Koyama looked up at him, tentative acceptance on his face, Tegoshi smirked. “And I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Koyama licked his lips and Tegoshi leaned in for a third try and this time Koyama responded, tangling fingers in Tegoshi’s hair and tugging him so that he straddled his lap. And when Tegoshi licked along the seam of Koyama’s lips, the older man finally gave in with a groan, pulling Tegoshi close and kissing him hard as he lifted him just enough to turn around and sit properly against the back of the couch and let Tegoshi kiss him into incoherency.
~*~
They don’t need the dark anymore, but sometimes Koyama will get this heated look in his eyes and will blush a bit before he turns out the light and finds Tegoshi by feel alone. Tegoshi likes these nights the best because, while he loves watching Koyama watch him, eyes dark with need and want, what he likes better is the feel of gentle hands pressing carefully against him, lips stuttering along his skin as they explore soft skin, quiet giggles when they don’t end up where expected; all their senses heightened by the missing one. And, anyway, Tegoshi knows that the dark belongs to them.