Falling (for you)
Title: Falling (for you)
Pairing: Massu/Shige
Rating: PG
Words: 2,970
Warnings: Hm… none? AU?
Summary: Shige's never planned on falling in love.
Notes: For imifumei. Happy Valentine's Day to one of my favorite ladies. Thank you for everything. <3 Inspired by her prompt of Plain White T's "Rhythm of Love."
He'd never planned on falling in love. There was too much still for him to do. Years ago he'd made his own sort of "bucket list," things to achieve. Last year had been the year of training and he'd learned a jumbled assortment of things from cpr to fishing to photography and a bunch of in-betweens. The year before had been the year of enlightenment, and he'd trained at a Buddhist shrine for the year, learning meditation among other things, and how to 'let go'. He hadn't quite ever achieved it, figured that probably a year wasn't really long enough, but he'd learned a few things he kept close to his heart now, and though he was glad to move into the next year, he was also glad he'd done it. This year… this year is the year of discomfort. And he guesses that if anything is more uncomfortable than falling in love, he'd like to know.
Shige's been through some pretty uncomfortable things already this year; he'd started out by refusing to carry or buy an umbrella for a month. It was pretty uncomfortable, but it made him appreciate a few things (namely umbrellas and hot showers, but also the feel of water striking his face, and the way he could see his breath puffing out around the rain drops, and the generosity of strangers). He'd made his appointment book strictly work-only, and forced himself to only agree to spontaneous plans for two months. He started jogging in the mornings, waking up an hour early to do a thirty minute run (read: jog confidently for two minutes, start faltering for one, clutch side in agony for one, rinse, repeat) and wincing at the people watching, knowing they were laughing on the inside. It felt good, though. When he wasn't gasping for breath.) For one excruciating month he had to never lie. That led to some pretty disastrous moments, but it's blown over by now. He thinks, though Tegoshi still gives him the stink-eye when they're in the elevator.
And now that it's almost July, he figures he'll do the most uncomfortable physical thing he can possibly do, and that is to climb Mt. Fuji. Plus, there are benefits at the top, and he'll get bragging rights. He meditates a moment on the negative effects of too much self-congratulation but gets distracted midway by trying to plan for the trip, so he just gives up and flips open his laptop. Being who he is, there's a lot of research, of course. After three hours he knows exactly which trail he's going to take at eleven a.m. (it's supposed to take 4-8 hours and Shige, in this department, has no delusions of grandeur… he'll give himself all eight hours and then some) to make it in time to see the sunset, which hut he'll stay at overnight (the reservation already set) to catch the sunrise at four a.m., all the supplies he needs and a shopping list even though it's two weeks away. Most people would try to find a hiking buddy, but Shige knows it will push him more out of his comfort zone to be all alone and dependent on others (also there is a slight silver-lining in the fact that none of his friends will be watching him huff and puff, red-faced, up the side of mountain and probably falling all over himself) and since the purpose of all this is to push his own boundaries, he'll go it alone. Just him and his camera.
The fateful day comes, and he faithfully climbs the mountain uncomplainingly (mostly because there's no one to complain to) and fuck it's hot, sweat already slicking his entire body and he feels really gross. He mostly can't wait 'til he gets high enough that the air takes on a chill. After two hours he has to stop, only at station 6, and take a break. He tries meditating again, to take the focus off the heat and the way his legs already feel sort of rubbery, but it's less than useless and instead he takes a few calming breaths between each sip from his jug of water even though he really wants to drain it because he's just that thirsty (and he could do without the extra two pounds weighing him down.) There aren't really a lot of people on the trail at this time (it's part of the reason he chose to go up for sunset and stay for sunrise) and it's a little lonely, he thinks, with only people's backs for company, somewhere way ahead of him. As he finally reaches station 7 and takes a seat, unwrapping an onigiri, a young man plops down next to him, all smiles.
"Beautiful day, isn't it?" the stranger asks and Shige puts aside his tiredness and really takes a look around.
"Yeah," he replies with a smile, and takes a big bite of his onigiri. Maybe he shouldn't wait until sunset to get out his camera, he thinks. He's been so focused on the physically taxing parts of his trip up the mountain that he hasn't been really looking at the beauty. Shame on him. Then he realizes that the stranger is looking at him expectantly and he swallows. "I'm sorry?"
"I'm Masuda Takahisa."
"Oh. Kato Shigeaki. Pleased to meet you."
Masuda hikes with Shige all the way to the top, and Shige wants to tell him to go ahead on because it's clear that Masuda can do much better than this - he's not even breathing that hard - and because Shige is moving faster than he'd like, out of guilt. The other man is fairly quiet, sometimes throwing out a strange tidbit, or asking him a question, other times just pointing at something he finds attractive, and Shige thinks he likes this guy's aesthetic (in nature, anyway, though perhaps the color/pattern/fashion combination of his clothing is because he's hiking) because his fingers itch so much to take out his camera after the first few that he finally does, Masuda saying nothing but stepping to the side to wait for Shige to line up the perfect shot and snap it before moving ahead.
He reaches the top in a total of six hours, even with all the photos, and even though he's bone-tired and feels totally gross, he also feels good, clean, muscles singing with exertion, and the sky's just starting to lose its blue and gain a little yellow. And Masuda's smiling quietly at his side. Life could definitely be worse. Reaching for his pack, he pulls it off his shoulders and crouches to rummage through it for his camera, dropping the strap over his head to let it dangle from his neck as he digs back in for the small bento he packed. As he opens it and stares at its (now) pitifully small-seeming portions, he wishes he'd packed a bit more, but he'll have to save the other, less perishable, foodstuffs for later that evening and breakfast.
Masuda crouches next to him, holding a giant onigiri and munching away, but peering curiously into Shige's bento anyway and smiling up at him. "Looks good," he says happily.
Shige guesses that's true, especially considering what Masuda is eating. He's tempted to share but he's really hungry and that onigiri is huge, so he just quietly eats and they watch the sun move lower in the sky.
The clouds are low today, and they look out over a frothy sea of white, the sinking sun turning the sky a deep red-orange that radiates out into pink, purple, blue, that reflects off the cloud-cover making it look a bit like a smooth orange sherbet and Shige salivates a bit even as he raises his camera.
"You know," Masuda started, and Shige jumps a little, having forgotten that he has company of a sort, "that the sky is so colorful because of pollution?"
Shige turns his head, frowns a little at Masuda who's still looking out, because, really, wasn’t that just a way to ruin a moment. Masuda does turn to look at him, then, smiling, and Shige furrows his brows and raises his camera to eye-height before turning his head to look through the eyepiece and adjusting the lens.
"But it's nice to know, I guess, that even all the bad has a good side."
Shige depresses the shutter-button in surprise.
Masuda has reserved a space in the hut there, too, and Shige is glad if only because sleeping next to a familiar stranger is better than an unfamiliar one, and it's cold up here and the other man radiates heat like a furnace. He sincerely hopes he isn't drawn to that heat in the night and the false promise of a heated body pillow. Masuda has been really nice but Shige is fairly certain he would draw the line at cuddling with someone he'd just met. But maybe Shige's projecting.
Morning (or pre-dawn anyway) comes too soon, Shige thinks, as he stiffly rolls to his feet in the morning, cold, so he's pretty certain he hadn't unwittingly cuddled in the night. The way his body wants to curl in on itself with soreness makes him wish he had, though. There are a handful of people already outside, Masuda among them, and Shige stretches carefully as he makes his way over to crouch next to him and they enjoy their breakfast in the quiet.
Forty-five minutes later, the sun finally peeks up over the edge of the slowly lightening sky, creating a red-gold panoramic ring that Shige has to switch his camera over video to capture, Masuda smiling silently beside him and Shige has a feeling he's going to be watching this video again for Masuda's soft, pleased smile as much as the rest of the beautiful view. He switches it off before he feels too much like a creeper, the rosy glow of dawn hiding his blush, he hopes.
The sun slowly rises and people trickle down the mountainside until Shige decides it's time to join them. He has Masuda hold his camera and watch his bag as he utilizes the (slightly frightening) bathroom, and he returns the favor, trying not to laugh at Masuda's disgusted face as he enters the tiny building while trying not to touch anything at all.
The trip down the mountain is faster and much less odious a task than the trip up had been, though he's too winded from the sometimes break-neck speeds at which he half-tumbles down the mountainside to speak, and when they reach the bottom, they go their separate ways with an anti-climactic smile and wave. He can't help but be a little disappointed. It doesn't help that he feels like he's sort of cheated on the "discomfort" bit, though those bathrooms were pretty bad…
Things sparkle. He feels like a moron for even thinking it, but it's true. He completely misses things he would have always seen before, and catches little things, nuances, he'd never have noticed. If being in love has its drawbacks (and it does, the sweaty palms, the nervous flutterings, the addled brains that make it impossible to focus for long stretches of time), this is one of its perks. Giving up his straightforward view of life to catch glimpses of variations, threads running around and through, makes his life richer, more vibrant. Maybe it's not perfect, but it's something else.
The following weekend, Shige's finally going through his photos of the trip, getting ready to organize them and utilize his new digital negative software. He stops on a picture he definitely doesn't remember taking, though - a photo of Masuda holding up a map with a number scrawled across it in black marker, dimpling happily at the camera.
His stomach makes a violent jump and he feels his cheeks getting hot and his lips turning up at the edges. Picking his phone up off the desk, he runs his thumb over the number pad and licks his lips.
Nice picture.
He doesn't have to wait too long for a reply, jumping a little when his phone vibrates in his hand.
Took you a while to find it. ^.^
Hey. I had things to do… like work.
The average Japanese man works 1828 hours a year. What do you spend 40 hours a week on?
Roundabout delivery, but okay. Advertizing for Oricon Style. You?
I'm a PE teacher
Elementary
Somehow Shige isn't the slightest bit surprised. Though, he feels a little better about failing at mountain climbing since he doesn't actually get paid to keep his body in shape.
The meeting is exactly as awkward as he'd expected. Masuda's no great conversationalist, and he's, well, Masuda's the type of guy to take pleasure in the simple things in life, forgoing complicated things like politics, technology, etc., not because he doesn't get it, but because he doesn't really care; he's got other things on his mind. Like the history of neon signage condensed into a single sentence, the best ramen place in the whole of Tokyo, and a head full of insignificant facts that, despite their irrelevance, still never fail to make Shige cock his head thoughtfully, even if he laughs right after. Awkward and comfortable - Shige would never have thought one person could fit those two feelings together and yet, somehow, it works. When they part ways, Shige can't stop the stupid smile as he practically skips home, though he does stop the skipping… that's just weird.
Love. It's a word Shige's mind skirts unless it pertains to his job or is meant in the familial sense, or enthusiasm over something inanimate. When he realizes that, yes, actually, he's in love with awkward, simple, beautiful, funny Masuda, he almost cries. They're walking along, talking normally, perhaps a bit closer together than is normal, and Masuda's laughing low and amused, and his hand brushes against Shige's ,when suddenly it hits him like a physical force, stopping him mid-stride so that he trips over himself and barely keeps himself from falling. Love. In love. Fuck.
He thinks it'll be okay, because Masuda is pretty oblivious, and it's actually worse when he's not around, because he just randomly spaces out and smiles to himself until one of his friends or coworkers flicks him in the forehead for not paying attention. He doesn't mind, though, how it changes his focus, and it comes out in his art, and in his work, and he's not unhappy about the praise he gets from his bosses for learning to soften some of his work, but it isn't learned, it just is.
It's weeks later, months, and they're sitting together on an empty pier, absently watching Shige's bob, well, not bobbing in the water. They're close enough that Shige can feel the warmth radiating off Masuda, but far enough that he can't feel him, and the quiet encases them, the only sound the splashing of the waves, and it's lulling. And that's when Masuda breaks the silence, gracelessly as always, and vague.
"You've been strange."
Shige snorts. "Okay."
"It's-" Masuda pauses, looks up, "It's okay, you know. I wouldn't mind."
Shock, and his heart thundering in his chest because he doesn't know what Masuda is talking about (though he has a clue and desperately hopes he's both wrong and right.) "Wouldn't mind what," he asks casually and tries so hard not to stutter.
Silence again but all Shige can hear is his own heartbeat.
"Do you always think so much?" Masuda finally asks, but he doesn't sound condescending, just curious, and it's that that keeps Shige from taking umbrage.
Instead, he thinks. And then laughs out loud, and Masuda smiles at him bemusedly. "I guess so."
"Human thought is powered by electricity and chemicals," Masuda says and kicks his feet out over the edge, bracing himself with his hands against the weathered boards, "and so are emotions. It's not bad to think with your feelings sometimes."
Shige's mouth goes dry and he licks his lips. He's finally decided that he likes being in love, rose-colored glasses and all, and he's afraid it's tinting it now, because Masuda can't be talking about what he thinks he's talking about. Shige's not lucky like that. Life likes to smack him in the face at inoportune moments. "Mm," he grunts in response. Non-committal.
He's so busy trying not to think that he barely notices Masuda leaning in until his nose is an inch from Shige's cheek, and then Masuda's fingers are gently gripping his chin and turning his face to him. Shige's eyes are wide, so wide, and his mouth is watering from the nervousness, and any second now he's going to start shaking.
"Okay?" Masuda murmurs, and Shige does start shaking then, his eyes slipping closed as Masuda leans in across the last of the space and presses their lips together softly, carefully, like Shige might break, and maybe he will, he thinks. He feels fragile. Vulnerable. His hand rises up to curl around Masuda's wrist, and Masuda lets go of Shige's chin to twine their fingers together as he moves his lips gently over Shige's, and when Shige parts his lips in a shivery sigh, Masuda sits back and smiles.
It's always been smooth, Shige's life. Maybe not on a microcosmic level because he's pretty awkward, but macrocosmically he fits in all the right boxes, follows all the lines. But this. Now he's always leaning forward, waiting and wanting to catch the next beat that never comes on time and it's frustrating, that falling feeling, but exhilarating, too. He's waiting for the heartbreak, that dead stop at the end, the double bars of doom, but until then he'll just enjoy the skip-tripping of his heart, his very own rhythm of love. He doesn't really have a choice.
Pairing: Massu/Shige
Rating: PG
Words: 2,970
Warnings: Hm… none? AU?
Summary: Shige's never planned on falling in love.
Notes: For imifumei. Happy Valentine's Day to one of my favorite ladies. Thank you for everything. <3 Inspired by her prompt of Plain White T's "Rhythm of Love."
He'd never planned on falling in love. There was too much still for him to do. Years ago he'd made his own sort of "bucket list," things to achieve. Last year had been the year of training and he'd learned a jumbled assortment of things from cpr to fishing to photography and a bunch of in-betweens. The year before had been the year of enlightenment, and he'd trained at a Buddhist shrine for the year, learning meditation among other things, and how to 'let go'. He hadn't quite ever achieved it, figured that probably a year wasn't really long enough, but he'd learned a few things he kept close to his heart now, and though he was glad to move into the next year, he was also glad he'd done it. This year… this year is the year of discomfort. And he guesses that if anything is more uncomfortable than falling in love, he'd like to know.
Shige's been through some pretty uncomfortable things already this year; he'd started out by refusing to carry or buy an umbrella for a month. It was pretty uncomfortable, but it made him appreciate a few things (namely umbrellas and hot showers, but also the feel of water striking his face, and the way he could see his breath puffing out around the rain drops, and the generosity of strangers). He'd made his appointment book strictly work-only, and forced himself to only agree to spontaneous plans for two months. He started jogging in the mornings, waking up an hour early to do a thirty minute run (read: jog confidently for two minutes, start faltering for one, clutch side in agony for one, rinse, repeat) and wincing at the people watching, knowing they were laughing on the inside. It felt good, though. When he wasn't gasping for breath.) For one excruciating month he had to never lie. That led to some pretty disastrous moments, but it's blown over by now. He thinks, though Tegoshi still gives him the stink-eye when they're in the elevator.
And now that it's almost July, he figures he'll do the most uncomfortable physical thing he can possibly do, and that is to climb Mt. Fuji. Plus, there are benefits at the top, and he'll get bragging rights. He meditates a moment on the negative effects of too much self-congratulation but gets distracted midway by trying to plan for the trip, so he just gives up and flips open his laptop. Being who he is, there's a lot of research, of course. After three hours he knows exactly which trail he's going to take at eleven a.m. (it's supposed to take 4-8 hours and Shige, in this department, has no delusions of grandeur… he'll give himself all eight hours and then some) to make it in time to see the sunset, which hut he'll stay at overnight (the reservation already set) to catch the sunrise at four a.m., all the supplies he needs and a shopping list even though it's two weeks away. Most people would try to find a hiking buddy, but Shige knows it will push him more out of his comfort zone to be all alone and dependent on others (also there is a slight silver-lining in the fact that none of his friends will be watching him huff and puff, red-faced, up the side of mountain and probably falling all over himself) and since the purpose of all this is to push his own boundaries, he'll go it alone. Just him and his camera.
The fateful day comes, and he faithfully climbs the mountain uncomplainingly (mostly because there's no one to complain to) and fuck it's hot, sweat already slicking his entire body and he feels really gross. He mostly can't wait 'til he gets high enough that the air takes on a chill. After two hours he has to stop, only at station 6, and take a break. He tries meditating again, to take the focus off the heat and the way his legs already feel sort of rubbery, but it's less than useless and instead he takes a few calming breaths between each sip from his jug of water even though he really wants to drain it because he's just that thirsty (and he could do without the extra two pounds weighing him down.) There aren't really a lot of people on the trail at this time (it's part of the reason he chose to go up for sunset and stay for sunrise) and it's a little lonely, he thinks, with only people's backs for company, somewhere way ahead of him. As he finally reaches station 7 and takes a seat, unwrapping an onigiri, a young man plops down next to him, all smiles.
"Beautiful day, isn't it?" the stranger asks and Shige puts aside his tiredness and really takes a look around.
"Yeah," he replies with a smile, and takes a big bite of his onigiri. Maybe he shouldn't wait until sunset to get out his camera, he thinks. He's been so focused on the physically taxing parts of his trip up the mountain that he hasn't been really looking at the beauty. Shame on him. Then he realizes that the stranger is looking at him expectantly and he swallows. "I'm sorry?"
"I'm Masuda Takahisa."
"Oh. Kato Shigeaki. Pleased to meet you."
Masuda hikes with Shige all the way to the top, and Shige wants to tell him to go ahead on because it's clear that Masuda can do much better than this - he's not even breathing that hard - and because Shige is moving faster than he'd like, out of guilt. The other man is fairly quiet, sometimes throwing out a strange tidbit, or asking him a question, other times just pointing at something he finds attractive, and Shige thinks he likes this guy's aesthetic (in nature, anyway, though perhaps the color/pattern/fashion combination of his clothing is because he's hiking) because his fingers itch so much to take out his camera after the first few that he finally does, Masuda saying nothing but stepping to the side to wait for Shige to line up the perfect shot and snap it before moving ahead.
He reaches the top in a total of six hours, even with all the photos, and even though he's bone-tired and feels totally gross, he also feels good, clean, muscles singing with exertion, and the sky's just starting to lose its blue and gain a little yellow. And Masuda's smiling quietly at his side. Life could definitely be worse. Reaching for his pack, he pulls it off his shoulders and crouches to rummage through it for his camera, dropping the strap over his head to let it dangle from his neck as he digs back in for the small bento he packed. As he opens it and stares at its (now) pitifully small-seeming portions, he wishes he'd packed a bit more, but he'll have to save the other, less perishable, foodstuffs for later that evening and breakfast.
Masuda crouches next to him, holding a giant onigiri and munching away, but peering curiously into Shige's bento anyway and smiling up at him. "Looks good," he says happily.
Shige guesses that's true, especially considering what Masuda is eating. He's tempted to share but he's really hungry and that onigiri is huge, so he just quietly eats and they watch the sun move lower in the sky.
The clouds are low today, and they look out over a frothy sea of white, the sinking sun turning the sky a deep red-orange that radiates out into pink, purple, blue, that reflects off the cloud-cover making it look a bit like a smooth orange sherbet and Shige salivates a bit even as he raises his camera.
"You know," Masuda started, and Shige jumps a little, having forgotten that he has company of a sort, "that the sky is so colorful because of pollution?"
Shige turns his head, frowns a little at Masuda who's still looking out, because, really, wasn’t that just a way to ruin a moment. Masuda does turn to look at him, then, smiling, and Shige furrows his brows and raises his camera to eye-height before turning his head to look through the eyepiece and adjusting the lens.
"But it's nice to know, I guess, that even all the bad has a good side."
Shige depresses the shutter-button in surprise.
Masuda has reserved a space in the hut there, too, and Shige is glad if only because sleeping next to a familiar stranger is better than an unfamiliar one, and it's cold up here and the other man radiates heat like a furnace. He sincerely hopes he isn't drawn to that heat in the night and the false promise of a heated body pillow. Masuda has been really nice but Shige is fairly certain he would draw the line at cuddling with someone he'd just met. But maybe Shige's projecting.
Morning (or pre-dawn anyway) comes too soon, Shige thinks, as he stiffly rolls to his feet in the morning, cold, so he's pretty certain he hadn't unwittingly cuddled in the night. The way his body wants to curl in on itself with soreness makes him wish he had, though. There are a handful of people already outside, Masuda among them, and Shige stretches carefully as he makes his way over to crouch next to him and they enjoy their breakfast in the quiet.
Forty-five minutes later, the sun finally peeks up over the edge of the slowly lightening sky, creating a red-gold panoramic ring that Shige has to switch his camera over video to capture, Masuda smiling silently beside him and Shige has a feeling he's going to be watching this video again for Masuda's soft, pleased smile as much as the rest of the beautiful view. He switches it off before he feels too much like a creeper, the rosy glow of dawn hiding his blush, he hopes.
The sun slowly rises and people trickle down the mountainside until Shige decides it's time to join them. He has Masuda hold his camera and watch his bag as he utilizes the (slightly frightening) bathroom, and he returns the favor, trying not to laugh at Masuda's disgusted face as he enters the tiny building while trying not to touch anything at all.
The trip down the mountain is faster and much less odious a task than the trip up had been, though he's too winded from the sometimes break-neck speeds at which he half-tumbles down the mountainside to speak, and when they reach the bottom, they go their separate ways with an anti-climactic smile and wave. He can't help but be a little disappointed. It doesn't help that he feels like he's sort of cheated on the "discomfort" bit, though those bathrooms were pretty bad…
Things sparkle. He feels like a moron for even thinking it, but it's true. He completely misses things he would have always seen before, and catches little things, nuances, he'd never have noticed. If being in love has its drawbacks (and it does, the sweaty palms, the nervous flutterings, the addled brains that make it impossible to focus for long stretches of time), this is one of its perks. Giving up his straightforward view of life to catch glimpses of variations, threads running around and through, makes his life richer, more vibrant. Maybe it's not perfect, but it's something else.
The following weekend, Shige's finally going through his photos of the trip, getting ready to organize them and utilize his new digital negative software. He stops on a picture he definitely doesn't remember taking, though - a photo of Masuda holding up a map with a number scrawled across it in black marker, dimpling happily at the camera.
His stomach makes a violent jump and he feels his cheeks getting hot and his lips turning up at the edges. Picking his phone up off the desk, he runs his thumb over the number pad and licks his lips.
Nice picture.
He doesn't have to wait too long for a reply, jumping a little when his phone vibrates in his hand.
Took you a while to find it. ^.^
Hey. I had things to do… like work.
The average Japanese man works 1828 hours a year. What do you spend 40 hours a week on?
Roundabout delivery, but okay. Advertizing for Oricon Style. You?
I'm a PE teacher
Elementary
Somehow Shige isn't the slightest bit surprised. Though, he feels a little better about failing at mountain climbing since he doesn't actually get paid to keep his body in shape.
The meeting is exactly as awkward as he'd expected. Masuda's no great conversationalist, and he's, well, Masuda's the type of guy to take pleasure in the simple things in life, forgoing complicated things like politics, technology, etc., not because he doesn't get it, but because he doesn't really care; he's got other things on his mind. Like the history of neon signage condensed into a single sentence, the best ramen place in the whole of Tokyo, and a head full of insignificant facts that, despite their irrelevance, still never fail to make Shige cock his head thoughtfully, even if he laughs right after. Awkward and comfortable - Shige would never have thought one person could fit those two feelings together and yet, somehow, it works. When they part ways, Shige can't stop the stupid smile as he practically skips home, though he does stop the skipping… that's just weird.
Love. It's a word Shige's mind skirts unless it pertains to his job or is meant in the familial sense, or enthusiasm over something inanimate. When he realizes that, yes, actually, he's in love with awkward, simple, beautiful, funny Masuda, he almost cries. They're walking along, talking normally, perhaps a bit closer together than is normal, and Masuda's laughing low and amused, and his hand brushes against Shige's ,when suddenly it hits him like a physical force, stopping him mid-stride so that he trips over himself and barely keeps himself from falling. Love. In love. Fuck.
He thinks it'll be okay, because Masuda is pretty oblivious, and it's actually worse when he's not around, because he just randomly spaces out and smiles to himself until one of his friends or coworkers flicks him in the forehead for not paying attention. He doesn't mind, though, how it changes his focus, and it comes out in his art, and in his work, and he's not unhappy about the praise he gets from his bosses for learning to soften some of his work, but it isn't learned, it just is.
It's weeks later, months, and they're sitting together on an empty pier, absently watching Shige's bob, well, not bobbing in the water. They're close enough that Shige can feel the warmth radiating off Masuda, but far enough that he can't feel him, and the quiet encases them, the only sound the splashing of the waves, and it's lulling. And that's when Masuda breaks the silence, gracelessly as always, and vague.
"You've been strange."
Shige snorts. "Okay."
"It's-" Masuda pauses, looks up, "It's okay, you know. I wouldn't mind."
Shock, and his heart thundering in his chest because he doesn't know what Masuda is talking about (though he has a clue and desperately hopes he's both wrong and right.) "Wouldn't mind what," he asks casually and tries so hard not to stutter.
Silence again but all Shige can hear is his own heartbeat.
"Do you always think so much?" Masuda finally asks, but he doesn't sound condescending, just curious, and it's that that keeps Shige from taking umbrage.
Instead, he thinks. And then laughs out loud, and Masuda smiles at him bemusedly. "I guess so."
"Human thought is powered by electricity and chemicals," Masuda says and kicks his feet out over the edge, bracing himself with his hands against the weathered boards, "and so are emotions. It's not bad to think with your feelings sometimes."
Shige's mouth goes dry and he licks his lips. He's finally decided that he likes being in love, rose-colored glasses and all, and he's afraid it's tinting it now, because Masuda can't be talking about what he thinks he's talking about. Shige's not lucky like that. Life likes to smack him in the face at inoportune moments. "Mm," he grunts in response. Non-committal.
He's so busy trying not to think that he barely notices Masuda leaning in until his nose is an inch from Shige's cheek, and then Masuda's fingers are gently gripping his chin and turning his face to him. Shige's eyes are wide, so wide, and his mouth is watering from the nervousness, and any second now he's going to start shaking.
"Okay?" Masuda murmurs, and Shige does start shaking then, his eyes slipping closed as Masuda leans in across the last of the space and presses their lips together softly, carefully, like Shige might break, and maybe he will, he thinks. He feels fragile. Vulnerable. His hand rises up to curl around Masuda's wrist, and Masuda lets go of Shige's chin to twine their fingers together as he moves his lips gently over Shige's, and when Shige parts his lips in a shivery sigh, Masuda sits back and smiles.
It's always been smooth, Shige's life. Maybe not on a microcosmic level because he's pretty awkward, but macrocosmically he fits in all the right boxes, follows all the lines. But this. Now he's always leaning forward, waiting and wanting to catch the next beat that never comes on time and it's frustrating, that falling feeling, but exhilarating, too. He's waiting for the heartbreak, that dead stop at the end, the double bars of doom, but until then he'll just enjoy the skip-tripping of his heart, his very own rhythm of love. He doesn't really have a choice.