(no subject)
This is the remainder of the origific's prologue. Continued from here.
On the other side of town, Ben stared down in horror at the rapidly-spreading coffee stain on his brand new white dress shirt. The receptionist gave him a sympathetic look, jerked her thumb behind her shoulder, and said, “Men’s room is that way.”
“Ah… thanks,” he muttered, hurrying off in the direction she was pointing. Twenty minutes until the interview. That was enough time to get cleaned up, right? And be back in his seat with plenty of time to spare? And possibly not look like a complete incompetent?
As it turned out, “plenty of time” was stretching it, but at least he’d managed to cover up most of the stain. Thank God for slightly oversized suit jackets. He was just beginning to feel like this interview might not be a total disaster when the receptionist apologetically said, “I’m sorry, but there’s one more form for you to fill out.” She gave a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t where my head’s been today.”
“Not a problem,” he said, taking the clipboard from her with an uneasy look. Hadn’t her hair been darker before? Never mind, he was probably just remembering it wrong. Dismissing the thought, he looked down at the form. Name, date, social security number…
1. True or False: The prospect of unlimited power is appealing to you.
Was this some kind of joke? He looked up at the receptionist, but she didn’t seem to be watching for his reaction. Probably wasn't in on the joke, then.
“Ah… Miss?”
She looked up from her typing with a bright smile. “Yes?”
“This form is, ah… I think it…”
She laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s not a joke. Upper management is just a bit quirky, that’s all. They make all the applicants fill it out.”
He wasn’t entirely sure that he liked the sound of that, but it didn’t look like he had a choice. He circled “true” - That was all right, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t look like some kind of raving megalomaniac, would he? - and went on to the next question.
2. Your Legions of Darkness have been temporarily laid up with a nasty case of the stomach flu. You:
a) Give them a week of sick leave and delay your invasion of the neighboring kingdoms.
b) Have them all killed for daring to become ill and then recruit more Legions of Darkness.
c) Make them appear to be sicker than they really are, and then carry out your invasion plan while your army is supposedly to ill to move.
d) Call the whole thing off.
Okay, he got it. Give applicants absurd scenarios to put them off their guard, while at the same time gauging their - he glanced at the question again - leadership ability and attitude toward setbacks? Kinda clever, actually.
He circled “c” with a flourish and went on to the next question. He was so absorbed in answering the questions, he didn’t notice that the receptionist had stopped typing, or that she was looking at him intently with eyes that suddenly seemed, when viewed from a certain angle, to be a virulent shade of crimson.
- - -
And, in a distant room in an even more distant place, an old man hobbled down a row of curiously pristine file cabinets. Stopping at one, he stooped slightly, opened a drawer, and pulled out a file.
Whatever he read in it, it couldn’t possibly have been good. He sighed, suddenly looking wearier than ever.
Later that day, various parts of the world were hit by unseasonable thunderstorms. Few bothered to listen closely to the thunder, but if they had, it would have sounded distinctly like someone repeatedly smacking their forehead with their palm.
On the other side of town, Ben stared down in horror at the rapidly-spreading coffee stain on his brand new white dress shirt. The receptionist gave him a sympathetic look, jerked her thumb behind her shoulder, and said, “Men’s room is that way.”
“Ah… thanks,” he muttered, hurrying off in the direction she was pointing. Twenty minutes until the interview. That was enough time to get cleaned up, right? And be back in his seat with plenty of time to spare? And possibly not look like a complete incompetent?
As it turned out, “plenty of time” was stretching it, but at least he’d managed to cover up most of the stain. Thank God for slightly oversized suit jackets. He was just beginning to feel like this interview might not be a total disaster when the receptionist apologetically said, “I’m sorry, but there’s one more form for you to fill out.” She gave a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t where my head’s been today.”
“Not a problem,” he said, taking the clipboard from her with an uneasy look. Hadn’t her hair been darker before? Never mind, he was probably just remembering it wrong. Dismissing the thought, he looked down at the form. Name, date, social security number…
1. True or False: The prospect of unlimited power is appealing to you.
Was this some kind of joke? He looked up at the receptionist, but she didn’t seem to be watching for his reaction. Probably wasn't in on the joke, then.
“Ah… Miss?”
She looked up from her typing with a bright smile. “Yes?”
“This form is, ah… I think it…”
She laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s not a joke. Upper management is just a bit quirky, that’s all. They make all the applicants fill it out.”
He wasn’t entirely sure that he liked the sound of that, but it didn’t look like he had a choice. He circled “true” - That was all right, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t look like some kind of raving megalomaniac, would he? - and went on to the next question.
2. Your Legions of Darkness have been temporarily laid up with a nasty case of the stomach flu. You:
a) Give them a week of sick leave and delay your invasion of the neighboring kingdoms.
b) Have them all killed for daring to become ill and then recruit more Legions of Darkness.
c) Make them appear to be sicker than they really are, and then carry out your invasion plan while your army is supposedly to ill to move.
d) Call the whole thing off.
Okay, he got it. Give applicants absurd scenarios to put them off their guard, while at the same time gauging their - he glanced at the question again - leadership ability and attitude toward setbacks? Kinda clever, actually.
He circled “c” with a flourish and went on to the next question. He was so absorbed in answering the questions, he didn’t notice that the receptionist had stopped typing, or that she was looking at him intently with eyes that suddenly seemed, when viewed from a certain angle, to be a virulent shade of crimson.
- - -
And, in a distant room in an even more distant place, an old man hobbled down a row of curiously pristine file cabinets. Stopping at one, he stooped slightly, opened a drawer, and pulled out a file.
Whatever he read in it, it couldn’t possibly have been good. He sighed, suddenly looking wearier than ever.
Later that day, various parts of the world were hit by unseasonable thunderstorms. Few bothered to listen closely to the thunder, but if they had, it would have sounded distinctly like someone repeatedly smacking their forehead with their palm.