i really don't know clouds at all
what can i say, what can i say?
it's been awhile since i've really written anything down. i've had tons of stuff swimming around in my head lately. time to start getting some of them down and out of the way.
it's been about a month now since i've been single. this is historically unprecedented for me. and ive been actively working on not getting into an sort of relationship, which is also new for me. instead i've been doing a lot of introspection. looking into myself and working on changing some aspects of myself that i would like to be different. so i've basically become my own project. and it's nice actually.
i'm cultivating my own spiritual side. i've always felt that i was a fairly spiritual person, but that doesn't always manifest itself in my daily life. i've always been against organized religion. i don't feel that mandating how a person should act or what they should believe in was the right way to go. instead i feet that a person should sort of work on their own path and find what was right for them individually.
but more and more i've been feeling that i wasn't really adhering to any sort of moral code, and that i should actually have something more substantial that i could ground myself to. to this end i've been reading "the four agreements" by don miguel ruiz which was recommended to me by a friend. just some toltec wisdom, fundamental principles that most people generally unconsciously follow but don't really think about all the time. so thats a place i've started with mental and moral growth.
i started yoga last night. i had only ever been to one yoga class before, and it didn't really work for me. but i also think i wasn't "ready" for the experience at the time. im in a different mindset now, so last night i actually enjoyed the class a lot more. the instructor was also better so that helps too. but i spent a lot of time focusing on the energy of the positions and trying to internalize the whole experience. mentally i felt different when the class was over, which was interesting. i'm going to keep at it for 5 more weeks though just to see how it goes.
in addition to that i'm looking for a tai chi school, because i think that would help as well. i can't take regular martial arts anymore, due to my "condition". but i think tai chi would be good to learn, because a) its low impact, and b) it'll help me focus energy in my body, and work on meditation.
which is the other aspect of my self i'm working on developing. i'm researching different forms of meditation to help find one thats right for me, and will enable me to focus on the aspects of myself that i want to improve.
everytime a relationship has ended, i've always SAID that i was going to take time and focus on myself, make changes in my dating profile, and i've always bounced right into my next relationship. this isn't happening this time. although everyone is completely justified in being skeptical. i believe i'm actually going to take my time this time, and make sure that in the future, i'm able to do things right. and ideally, i'll be ready and prepared for that future, if and when it happens.
i'm sure i'll write down more as it comes to me. right now my brain is starting to shut down.
also, kilts arrived today, for the wedding i'm going to this weekend. THAT is going to be hilarious.
it's been awhile since i've really written anything down. i've had tons of stuff swimming around in my head lately. time to start getting some of them down and out of the way.
it's been about a month now since i've been single. this is historically unprecedented for me. and ive been actively working on not getting into an sort of relationship, which is also new for me. instead i've been doing a lot of introspection. looking into myself and working on changing some aspects of myself that i would like to be different. so i've basically become my own project. and it's nice actually.
i'm cultivating my own spiritual side. i've always felt that i was a fairly spiritual person, but that doesn't always manifest itself in my daily life. i've always been against organized religion. i don't feel that mandating how a person should act or what they should believe in was the right way to go. instead i feet that a person should sort of work on their own path and find what was right for them individually.
but more and more i've been feeling that i wasn't really adhering to any sort of moral code, and that i should actually have something more substantial that i could ground myself to. to this end i've been reading "the four agreements" by don miguel ruiz which was recommended to me by a friend. just some toltec wisdom, fundamental principles that most people generally unconsciously follow but don't really think about all the time. so thats a place i've started with mental and moral growth.
i started yoga last night. i had only ever been to one yoga class before, and it didn't really work for me. but i also think i wasn't "ready" for the experience at the time. im in a different mindset now, so last night i actually enjoyed the class a lot more. the instructor was also better so that helps too. but i spent a lot of time focusing on the energy of the positions and trying to internalize the whole experience. mentally i felt different when the class was over, which was interesting. i'm going to keep at it for 5 more weeks though just to see how it goes.
in addition to that i'm looking for a tai chi school, because i think that would help as well. i can't take regular martial arts anymore, due to my "condition". but i think tai chi would be good to learn, because a) its low impact, and b) it'll help me focus energy in my body, and work on meditation.
which is the other aspect of my self i'm working on developing. i'm researching different forms of meditation to help find one thats right for me, and will enable me to focus on the aspects of myself that i want to improve.
everytime a relationship has ended, i've always SAID that i was going to take time and focus on myself, make changes in my dating profile, and i've always bounced right into my next relationship. this isn't happening this time. although everyone is completely justified in being skeptical. i believe i'm actually going to take my time this time, and make sure that in the future, i'm able to do things right. and ideally, i'll be ready and prepared for that future, if and when it happens.
i'm sure i'll write down more as it comes to me. right now my brain is starting to shut down.
also, kilts arrived today, for the wedding i'm going to this weekend. THAT is going to be hilarious.