fic: don't be afraid to be young and free
title: don't be afraid to be young and free
rating: g
disclaimer: this is complete fiction.
characters/pairings: xabi alonso, esteban granero
summary/note: this came about when i realised important names in xabi's life have a habit of turning up again. also there isn't much of a plot.
After a particularly exhausting game, Xabi doesn’t feel like talking (mainly because he’s yelled himself hoarse) preferring to sit back, stare out the window, and just exist in the moment. He hears the canteras jabbering on excitedly around him (feels the years between them, stretched out like decades) and wonders when the team became so young or why twenty eight suddenly feels so old.
Beside him, Esteban taps him lightly on the wrist. Even though they don't speak often, it wasn’t the strangest thing to have the young Madridista sit beside him. Everyone got along with everyone but Xabi thinks people probably have their preferences. He usually ended up next to Sergio or Iker (or if the other was injured) Álvaro or Raúl.
When Xabi turns his head to look at him, he is offered and earphone. Xabi is suddenly reminded of Ryan Babel but, not wanting to seem rude, sticks it in his ear. He’s pleasantly surprised when he recognises the familiar melody of Blackbird, though he really shouldn’t, because even though he’s only been here for (almost) one season, he has realised that Esteban isn’t like any other twenty two year olds Xabi knows (which admittedly, isn’t very many). He prefers to hang back and observe during training, while the others goofed off, jumping on top of each other and trying to stick cold hands up shirts, and now that Xabi thinks about it, isn’t all that different from the more senior players.
He asks, “Who’s your favourite Beatle?”
Esteban seems to consider this carefully, like it’s a question that will define him in Xabi’s eyes (and maybe it will). Finally he says, “George Harrison.”
Xabi smiles, “me too.”
::
It starts when Esteban tells him he’s never seen Casablanca. Xabi is determined to rectify this. He knows he could have just lent him the DVD but Xabi thinks there is something special in the way you witness someone experience a film like Casablanca for the first time. Not a lot of people get that, but he thinks Esteban might when his eyes light up at the invitation.
It continues when Esteban said he enjoyed it but preferred Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon. Then it was Xabi’s turn to admit he’d never seen it.
Then it just wordlessly became a monthly thing. They take turns picking the films, sometimes ones neither of them have watched.
Esteban brings The Fountain. Xabi thinks it’s pretentious, Esteban asks him if he liked it, Xabi grudgingly says yes.
::
Xabi doesn’t think much of it, not until Álvaro elbows him and says, “El Pirata has been hanging around you a lot lately.”
He shrugs, “we’ve been watching movies.”
“Just the two of you?” Xabi nods, Álvaro looks at him strangely, “like a date?”
Xabi rolls his eyes, “no, not like a date.”
“I should hope not,” Álvaro says solemnly, “he’s barely out of diapers.”
Xabi, who rarely resorts to such behaviour, flicks his friend's ear.
::
Now that Álvaro had pointed out the apparent unusual compatibility of their relationship, Xabi can’t stop thinking about it. He doesn’t really know what Esteban wants from him but the younger man seems to truly be content with sitting next to him on the bus, sharing music (usually they agree but sometimes they don’t, “Coldplay? Really?” “What? I find their music pleasant and soothing.” “Waterfalls are pleasant and soothing, Coldplay is shit.”), with their thighs and shoulders pressed up against each other even though there is plenty of space, or walking back towards the parking lot, discussing the merits of Vonnegut versus Hemingway (he likes them both, Xabi rolls his eyes fondly and says, “of course you do.”).
Lingering by the side of his car, Esteban asks, “Do you want to film the Christmas special together?”
Xabi notices how tightly Esteban is gripping the door of his car and wonders what Esteban is really asking him.
::
He tries not to think about Stevie and his own early years in Liverpool (when he wasn’t that much older than Esteban and god, that makes Xabi feel old) when they were unsure, kind of stupid and not exactly discreet. Xabi had tried so hard to define it, what it was and what it wasn’t. It was futile and exhausting but he learnt, he learnt a lot. He learnt that you could care for someone deeply and still want to smother them with a pillow when their snoring woke you up in the middle of the night. Again. He learnt that even though sometimes, it felt like they could read each other’s minds, it didn’t mean they couldn’t hurt each other or let each other down. He learnt that nothing lasts forever and had been both devastated and relieved by this revelation.
But Xabi thinks the most important lesson is: never stop learning.
One night, when he puts on The Great Escape Esteban turns to him and says, “I really like just being with you.”
Xabi is a little stunned, doesn’t know what to say, so he reaches between them and links their fingers together.
And they sit like this until the credits start rolling.