Sundered Faith, Part Four (3/?)

[elfhawk]

Got to write Crunch some more. He makes my OCD twitch. I think I managed to keep him down to just a couple pronouns. (Some things just really require an it. There's no avoiding it, alas.) It's difficult balancing 'really dumb' with 'oddly insightful'. (Still haven't decided what to do about George though

Comments

[carmenwoods]

This looks like a good place to use this icon!

[jachyra]

You have Crunch down. Your OCD may be twitching, but the ending result seems worth it.
Kinda curious how long Crunch is gonna be stuck equipmentless. Once he gets his ax back he can show Carmen how carange is really done.

Editing

[jachyra]

A man in charged past, a war hammer high above his head
I assume that 'in' shouldn't be there.

They needed put a translation spell on Crunch as well
To put a translation...

The buildings back here all abandoned and, well, creepy.
are all abandoned...

But they will to be taking us to the jail cells.
Get rid of the "to"

“Odette be there? Odette nice, always share dinner. Crunch miss Odette.”
=D

Everything important was kept in out of the way places an should anything go wrong

she had had training with her eyes blindfolded had given her excellent battlefield awareness.
That's a lot of 'had's.

None of them look interested in taking her up on the matter
them looked interested...

Re: Editing

[elfhawk]

The problem with posting mid-editting process is half the edits you make on something are after you've posted it. Of course, I'd only fixed half of those, so nice catch all the same.