Problem solved!
I actually dreamed the solution to my problems. Well, some of them. I have problems that no one can fix. But, concerning my father, I have found a solution and managed to grow the balls to do it.
See, the problem was that my dad wanted to be here for the birth. I think that he forgot that pregnancy and labor does not follow a precise schedule unless I had medical reasons for planning a c-section. His first child was three weeks late, that was over 35 years ago. For his following children they pretty much got to pick the date. I am hoping not to get a c-section, and if I do, that will be after I go into labor, not from any planning on my part.
But I think he forgot that and was thinking that once I go into labor he can make the 9 hour drive and be here on time for the birth. A couple of issues... one, who knows how long my labor will last. Two, he hasn't even done the research of looking into which hotel he can stay at and if he can even get the employee discount that he was hoping for. Also, I married into the military. I will be having this kid on a military base. He will not be able to get onto the base without a military ID and hubby is damn well not going to leave me and the kid just to pick up my father.
Another issue is that I may have the God parents down and I don't want my father here with them here. Too much stress on my part and my dad can be awkward. So, any way I can minimize that, the better. There is also the possibility of going to Oregon after two weeks to visit Eric's family, though that is a very slim possibility. Still, it is a possible idea.
Oh, and let's not forget that my dad doesn't actually have an income right now and has poor health. I love my father enough to worry about him and I know that I will not be comfortable with him in a hotel, or worse, his stupid plan of finding a camping spot if all else failed. He was actually serious about this.
So the solution was to ask him to not come down for the birth. He will come down when Hubby's leave is up. I know that for my dad it would suck to not see the kid for nearly a month after she is born, but oh well, holy hell. This is not his first grandchild. If any one has precedence, it is Hubby's father, who is over sixty and have no grandchildren yet. My dad can deal with waiting.
The pro's are that he doesn't have to rush to get here. We can plan this out. I like having plans. I like having schedules. It makes my life a whole lot easier and I end up with less anxiety, which is an issue. I can do things on a whim, but little things. Not big things like this. Also, my father won't have to be in a hotel. We will put up with him because no one else will be here. It will save him money and give me peace of mind. He will be able to spend more time with me and his granddaughter because I will not be in the hospital, one of which he would have very little access too and Hubby won't be stressed out on trying to cater to my dad and getting him on base when Hubby barely tolerates my dad half the time. There is good reason for that. Another pro is that by then I should have a handle on postpartum depression and will be less likely to blow up at my father and have a show down that I do not want to have. I hate regrets. I attempt to prevent having them. But stress makes me say things that I later regret.
Cons? For me, none that I can think of. This will be the less stress solution. I am happy with this dream induced idea. Though my father moped at the idea that Hubby's family might get to meet the baby before he does. Oh well, holy hell. My dad sees us more than they do. He can live with not being the first one to meet the baby. I know it is a hard blow for him, he has always had to be the first person involved in just about any of my achievements, but this is not about him. He needs to learn that my priorities lie in my husband and my unborn child. Hell, even Emo Dog and Basement Cat gets more priority than my dad. That is just how things have become.
So yes, he will be mopey for a while, but I don't care. He still gets to see the kid and he gets to save precious money that he doesn't have. Honestly, he shouldn't be coming down and I would rather that he didn't, but he is stubborn and will be down. That is fine. I am just trying to make life easier for all of us.
And, we should be getting Amber and Adam all to us! So that is a plus! Problem solved! I can sleep now. Less stress means more of a chance of going into labor sooner rather than later. Oh, let it be soon so I am not induced. No meds. It is better this way Sprout! I promise! It is safe to come out!.
See, the problem was that my dad wanted to be here for the birth. I think that he forgot that pregnancy and labor does not follow a precise schedule unless I had medical reasons for planning a c-section. His first child was three weeks late, that was over 35 years ago. For his following children they pretty much got to pick the date. I am hoping not to get a c-section, and if I do, that will be after I go into labor, not from any planning on my part.
But I think he forgot that and was thinking that once I go into labor he can make the 9 hour drive and be here on time for the birth. A couple of issues... one, who knows how long my labor will last. Two, he hasn't even done the research of looking into which hotel he can stay at and if he can even get the employee discount that he was hoping for. Also, I married into the military. I will be having this kid on a military base. He will not be able to get onto the base without a military ID and hubby is damn well not going to leave me and the kid just to pick up my father.
Another issue is that I may have the God parents down and I don't want my father here with them here. Too much stress on my part and my dad can be awkward. So, any way I can minimize that, the better. There is also the possibility of going to Oregon after two weeks to visit Eric's family, though that is a very slim possibility. Still, it is a possible idea.
Oh, and let's not forget that my dad doesn't actually have an income right now and has poor health. I love my father enough to worry about him and I know that I will not be comfortable with him in a hotel, or worse, his stupid plan of finding a camping spot if all else failed. He was actually serious about this.
So the solution was to ask him to not come down for the birth. He will come down when Hubby's leave is up. I know that for my dad it would suck to not see the kid for nearly a month after she is born, but oh well, holy hell. This is not his first grandchild. If any one has precedence, it is Hubby's father, who is over sixty and have no grandchildren yet. My dad can deal with waiting.
The pro's are that he doesn't have to rush to get here. We can plan this out. I like having plans. I like having schedules. It makes my life a whole lot easier and I end up with less anxiety, which is an issue. I can do things on a whim, but little things. Not big things like this. Also, my father won't have to be in a hotel. We will put up with him because no one else will be here. It will save him money and give me peace of mind. He will be able to spend more time with me and his granddaughter because I will not be in the hospital, one of which he would have very little access too and Hubby won't be stressed out on trying to cater to my dad and getting him on base when Hubby barely tolerates my dad half the time. There is good reason for that. Another pro is that by then I should have a handle on postpartum depression and will be less likely to blow up at my father and have a show down that I do not want to have. I hate regrets. I attempt to prevent having them. But stress makes me say things that I later regret.
Cons? For me, none that I can think of. This will be the less stress solution. I am happy with this dream induced idea. Though my father moped at the idea that Hubby's family might get to meet the baby before he does. Oh well, holy hell. My dad sees us more than they do. He can live with not being the first one to meet the baby. I know it is a hard blow for him, he has always had to be the first person involved in just about any of my achievements, but this is not about him. He needs to learn that my priorities lie in my husband and my unborn child. Hell, even Emo Dog and Basement Cat gets more priority than my dad. That is just how things have become.
So yes, he will be mopey for a while, but I don't care. He still gets to see the kid and he gets to save precious money that he doesn't have. Honestly, he shouldn't be coming down and I would rather that he didn't, but he is stubborn and will be down. That is fine. I am just trying to make life easier for all of us.
And, we should be getting Amber and Adam all to us! So that is a plus! Problem solved! I can sleep now. Less stress means more of a chance of going into labor sooner rather than later. Oh, let it be soon so I am not induced. No meds. It is better this way Sprout! I promise! It is safe to come out!.