I am feeling much better today. I got an A on my Lit midterm so that is a pretty wonderful feeling. Peter called, I left class to listen to the message. He wasn't sure if it was my number or not, I guess he didn't have it in his phone. Don't really feel too bad about him anymore. A month is a long time to get used to an absence. This past month has ( Read more... )

the circle. you came after a while. the grass was soft and green and careful. you came and i saw you for the first time that day. it was the start of mine. i mostly saw your eyes mouth breathing legs arms. the sky in you. there was searching, everywhere. i looked out at all of the weight of our days and their convergence and i felt like mornings ( Read more... )

crazy last entries. i have honestly just been all over the map lately. up and down and both at once. it really scared me. i wasted a lot of precious time in my bed, not changing my clothes or lifting my limbs. not feeding myself properly. things like that. i'm shocked at how i carried on. i have to remember that dirty socks does not mean depression ( Read more... )

lately i have been coffee and arnold/hopkins comparisons. abrupt phone conversations, awkward indian style seating among the elderly. among my supposed boyfriend. friend that is a boy that i touch and try to give myself to. regardless of the sad car rides home alone and sulking in the bathtub. regardless of her sleeping on his couch and being a ( Read more... )

gorgeous repititions. hands. warm blankets. warm voice. together and alone on giant sea-soaked rocks on cliffside. together, alone, in a crowded bar. drives home. endless hands -always somewhere. resting and waiting and resting. the silence. abrupt laughter and wilt chamberlin jokes. rilke, capitalism, yuppy towns we only make sense in together. ( Read more... )

yesterday i spent most of my day with aaron, going to the cradle of aviation to see a rainforest documentary in the dome theater, then rollerblading for two hours around his neighborhood. then falling asleep, or pretending to sleep for another two. i think maybe we just need to stop spending time in his room so much. do things together but with ( Read more... )

yesterday, day and night and that place in between, that beautiful place in between starting and ending, entering and exiting, was all sand and gravel and blue and brown and gray. paintings being painted mid sentence, mid breathe, mid kiss. frigid feet, hands in unchartered pockets. moon at three in the afternoon, all round and white and confident ( Read more... )

its nice to be in love during the holidays...

plllease god let this work out let me drive home tonite happy and fuffilled and with promise for more. no more let downs or wrong expectations. pleaseeeeeeeee i will be the happiest and most thankful girl on earth.

my life is still as warm and lovely as it was in my last post, a little warmer actually. saw aaron last night, and the rest of the frisbee crew. overwhelming amount of fun and sincerity. played well, ate nine cheese sticks, political conversations, staring contests, knee squeezing, neck squeezing, water spitting, brownie eating, obvious flirting, ( Read more... )