Life and Blah.

[eli_writes]

 
WARNING-Real feelings and stuff you may not want to know about follows…

I am very disappointed in myself right now.  I haven’t been writing as much as I would like and the apartment is still a disaster area.  I am eating better, but it isn’t really enough.  I feel like I am letting myself down.

I am exhausted all the time and feel like I could

Comments

[yaoi_slut]

*hugs* Don't be mad at yourself. It can be hard to build ourselves up. Sometimes it means quickly falling back down. But you'll be up again soon, certainly. Just because you started to slip doesn't mean it's over. You aren't starting at the beginning again, you're just picking up where you left off. You should be proud that you made an effort to begin with. Some people stop at the plan. ^^:

I am exhausted all the time and feel like I could sleep for days. I know what that means. I am in a downward swing in my mood. I need to fight it. I need to work on my apartment even though I don’t feel like it. I need to go do things with friends even though I don’t want to and feel like they don’t give a crap.Oh man, I could have written this myself right now. *HUGS MORE* Seriously, I'm in virtually the same position. It's part depression, part real stuff. But it can be hard to fight those feelings. I'm so sorry you're going through that. I hope you're all right and that you start to feel better. Cause it's so true, knowing doesn't make it

[eli_writes]

I have to admit that there are times at least that I start to feel like there are others out there that might start to understand and care about what I am going through when I post my feelings here. I almost always get a reponse fairly quickly, even when I post in the middle of my night.

When I remember, I am proud of the fact that I am living in a great apartment on my own (with a roommate, but I don't have to borrow money from my parents all the time, you know?). I am proud of the fact that I can hold down a job and write stories and paint and draw...when I remember. *sighs*

I hope things start to look up, too. I know part of it is medical and I need to see my psychiatrist about my meds, and part of it is mental, and I need to see my therapist about that.

It disheartens me o see me failing at my short-term goals when my long-term goals are som important.

eli.

[sylvrilyn]

I know what you mean about forgetting to do things, and then remembering later and feeling like crap. But don't beat yourself up about it. I know it's hard not to, but when you don't remember, you don't. Sometimes I forget to get up early enough and I find myself rushing to work late. When that happens I try to tell myself it wasn't my fault because it wasn't a choice. It was simply a forgetting. Don't know if I said that coherently or not.

Anyway, please be nice to yourself because you deserve it.

*hugs*

[eli_writes]

I also know that it is a facet of my disease, but sometimes it doesn't help. *sighs* I am trying. It is hard to be positive when I feel like this.

eli.

[pawprintwriter]

Everyone forgets. You are not alone there. I write stuff down and have planners and still forget - or worse, forget to check them at all. It's just a part of being human. -hugs- Try looking on the bright side. You HAVE been writing. It may not be the sheer amount that you want or the quality that you want, but every writer has their rough spells. You ARE eating better. That's more than most people are even trying to do. You're bettering yourself. It's you working to help you. That's enough in its own right.

-hugs- I hope you feel better soon, just don't worry too much. We all have our rough times, we all forget stuff. We're human. Go easy on yourself, because as Syl said, you deserve it.

[eli_writes]

I have planners and still forget, *sighs* I am right there with you.

I am trying to write. This last week has been rough, but the previous week was pretty good. I know that there will be another upswing, but it is a little tough to remember.

I still have times when I crave the bad things, but I try to stay away from them or buy them and bring them to work. :)

Thanks.

eli.

[talithakalago]

Therapists (should) call their clients, well, clients. And think of them that way. The old school of thinking went out nearly 20 years ago now...

I can't really offer any advice on the depression--as, based on your tags its clinical, not just the regular kind. Just make sure you're getting A LOT of omega three and if you can kick start the exercise the endorphins may help.

[eli_writes]

I know I should exercise...the endorphins help...a lot! Problem is that I know a short cut to them. :( I need to exercise instead, even if it takes longer.

Maybe the B-vitamins and the Omega will help, too.

I should schedule an emergency appt with the psychiatrist as well. *sighs*

Thanks.

eli.