(no subject)
So Staff and I were talking about the sheer horror that has been the life of Alex Summers pretty much since he turned eighteen (decades ago), and somehow we wound up here.
Proof that Wolverine is a Summers!
Yeah, yeah, I know, not according to his latest origin, but seriously, we have a case here. (Although admittedly I so didn't check the details before posting, so we're relying on Staff's memory here)
So, Alex. For those who didn't hear, Alex actually managed to 'seduce' and 'fall in love with' a nurse while he was in a coma. A *coma*. Apparently she just couldn't restrain herself during a sponge bath or something. And he woke up in love with her because his subconscious had been joyriding around loose or... something. I've tried not to look too closely.
This only confirms what has been indicated for some time. Every woman Alex sleeps with goes COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS... assuming she wasn't already.
And Alex is not alone.
Well, Scott's powers aren't *exactly* the same. But Who Scott Sleeps With seems to be a pretty powerful defining factor when it comes to human history. His kids all time-travel and go crazy on a daily basis. Madelyne nearly fed the whole world to demons, although this was after she'd done Alex 'Penis Of Crazy' Summers, so Scott doesn't get the full blame. His relationship with Jean led *directly* to the whole Phoenix fiasco... all of it. One can only imagine what will happen now that he's doing Emma - either world peace or the apocalypse, one would think. Or both. They might end up ruling the world.
Which leads us to the alleged third Summers brother (I say alleged because this is even stupider than Adam X or the potential 'Gambit is the third Summers brother' thing). Gabriel 'Vulcan' Summers. Whose sheer awesome sexing, according to Falstaff and a brief overview from the Marvel wiki, brought down two galactic empires.
Now, go back to Corsair. Corsair who, as a slave in a mine somewhere in the Shi'Ar empire, still managed to pull the hot cat-girl, and to the best of my knowledge did not go without nookie for long until he died.
Clearly the Summerses have some kind of hereditary penis-based superpowers.
Corsair is like the gamma-level telepath who produces alphas - all *his* penis does is attract blue-eyed women with irresistible force. However, his sons...
Alex's penis makes women go insane. Scott's is a primary fulcrum of history. Gabriel's, apparently, causes empires to rise and fall.
Stryfe, who doesn't seem to have had much of an interest in sex, apparently didn't use his enough to find out its magic abilities, but Nathan... has he *ever* had a healthy relationship? The closest he ever came was with Domino, who was presumably suffiently bad-ass-assassiny that the destabilizing magic penis could only do so much. Like a less focused version of his Uncle Alex's ability, Nathan's penis is a Penis of Doom.
And every woman Wolverine sleeps with more than, say, twice goes crazy, tries to kill him, dies, or all three.
Coincidence? I think not!
Seriously, what are the odds that there are *two* families out there with Penis Of Doom powers?
I mean... they have to be *slightly* higher than, say, the odds of Xavier having a crazy evil psychic twin thing from BEYOND THE PSYCHIC PLANE. And that totally only happened once.
This has been your 'Weird Places I wish my brain hadn't gone' excursion for today.
Proof that Wolverine is a Summers!
Yeah, yeah, I know, not according to his latest origin, but seriously, we have a case here. (Although admittedly I so didn't check the details before posting, so we're relying on Staff's memory here)
So, Alex. For those who didn't hear, Alex actually managed to 'seduce' and 'fall in love with' a nurse while he was in a coma. A *coma*. Apparently she just couldn't restrain herself during a sponge bath or something. And he woke up in love with her because his subconscious had been joyriding around loose or... something. I've tried not to look too closely.
This only confirms what has been indicated for some time. Every woman Alex sleeps with goes COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS... assuming she wasn't already.
And Alex is not alone.
Well, Scott's powers aren't *exactly* the same. But Who Scott Sleeps With seems to be a pretty powerful defining factor when it comes to human history. His kids all time-travel and go crazy on a daily basis. Madelyne nearly fed the whole world to demons, although this was after she'd done Alex 'Penis Of Crazy' Summers, so Scott doesn't get the full blame. His relationship with Jean led *directly* to the whole Phoenix fiasco... all of it. One can only imagine what will happen now that he's doing Emma - either world peace or the apocalypse, one would think. Or both. They might end up ruling the world.
Which leads us to the alleged third Summers brother (I say alleged because this is even stupider than Adam X or the potential 'Gambit is the third Summers brother' thing). Gabriel 'Vulcan' Summers. Whose sheer awesome sexing, according to Falstaff and a brief overview from the Marvel wiki, brought down two galactic empires.
Now, go back to Corsair. Corsair who, as a slave in a mine somewhere in the Shi'Ar empire, still managed to pull the hot cat-girl, and to the best of my knowledge did not go without nookie for long until he died.
Clearly the Summerses have some kind of hereditary penis-based superpowers.
Corsair is like the gamma-level telepath who produces alphas - all *his* penis does is attract blue-eyed women with irresistible force. However, his sons...
Alex's penis makes women go insane. Scott's is a primary fulcrum of history. Gabriel's, apparently, causes empires to rise and fall.
Stryfe, who doesn't seem to have had much of an interest in sex, apparently didn't use his enough to find out its magic abilities, but Nathan... has he *ever* had a healthy relationship? The closest he ever came was with Domino, who was presumably suffiently bad-ass-assassiny that the destabilizing magic penis could only do so much. Like a less focused version of his Uncle Alex's ability, Nathan's penis is a Penis of Doom.
And every woman Wolverine sleeps with more than, say, twice goes crazy, tries to kill him, dies, or all three.
Coincidence? I think not!
Seriously, what are the odds that there are *two* families out there with Penis Of Doom powers?
I mean... they have to be *slightly* higher than, say, the odds of Xavier having a crazy evil psychic twin thing from BEYOND THE PSYCHIC PLANE. And that totally only happened once.
This has been your 'Weird Places I wish my brain hadn't gone' excursion for today.