and now a very different themed entry
Okay, wow...so apparently I FAILED at posting that a couple of weeks ago...and now that the entire living situation has changed I guess it's good to reflect? To know that I came into this with fun and hope in mind?
As two out of three of you who read this already know, Rachael and I have been having some major roomie issues. The first and foremost being that she doesn't care about me being an equal part of this household. And I know that I'm not being overdramatic about that because she told me that Dan and Phil come before me. She told me that all the rules she was imposing were for them. She told me that she did not have to consult with me before deciding on rules AND she said that "it's not us living together, it's you living with us". That quote is burned into my brain.
Not only am I not being respected, Dan isn't either...the way she talks to him is just awful. He's this sweet guy who drives her back and forth to work EVERYDAY because she can't drive and doesn't complain about it one bit...and she just treats him like shit. She loves him, don't get me wrong. And he loves her. But he can't hang out with his fucking friends because they're a "bad influence". Well his friends are 22 year old guys. They're not exactly the Lion's Club here. And I know that most girls (including myself) have used sex to get what they want...but Rach was trying to get Dan to call her doctor to cancel her doctor's appointment for her and told him that if he didn't she wouldn't give him head for two weeks. (she doesn't like to give him head anyways) Dan hands her his phone and the number to call the doctor...and she called him. And at the end she glared at Dan and told him she wasn't going to give him head ever again...and then they went to bed and there was some tension there. Did I mention it's Dan's birthday tomorrow?? Sheesh
And she put me in an awkward positon between her and Jeremy...now I have to fucking choose. And it's definitely saying something when Jeremy is being the reasonable one!! Basically she's enforced a "no people over after 11" rule because Jeremy is loud. but I've had him over late on more than one occasion and they hadn't even noticed. And we weren't trying to be quiet, either. (not just sex there were videogames and magic involved) And since I almost always open and he either works a double shift or opens, it's hard to hang out during the day. So we have the night...and she wants him to change his schedule to accomodate her sleeping one...when she doesn't even notice he's there. She says if he really loved me (and we're not even to that stage in our relationship yet) he'd switch shifts. And I say that if she really loved me, she wouldn't make me do this. And if she is always going to pick her man over me, why can't I pick mine over her?
Anyways...I honestly didn't come on here to rant about her being insane. I came on here to figure out if we can still be friends.
Technically Rachael and I aren't fighting right now...I mean I'm still upset with her. Because her behavior is irrational...but the more I spend time with her the more I notice how crazy she really is and the less I want to be around her. The less I want to be her friend. She's been there for me a lot and I know I've been there for her. I probably would have been a lot more slutty if it weren't for her, especially after Niki and I broke up. I know I helped out with her relationship with Dan in the beginning.
I know that you never truly know someone until you've lived with them...but now that I have lived with her and found that I don't like the person she is, can we go back? If I moved back in with my dad would I like her again? Or would I just be fooling myself? Probably the latter. I mean I don't want us to be enemies...but I just honestly don't know if I can handle her. I've been trying to distance myself as much as possible these last few days but when I see her my tension levels just rise. It reminds me of hanging out with my mom...I always dread it but generally it's not as bad as I think Sometimes it's worse.
I need to get out of this as soon as possible.
I should talk to my dad again about moving in...as much as I hate doing it. But now my reasons are more selfish for wanting to stay here. For one, there is the feeling of being an adult. For another, the house is marginally cleaner. Mushi is happier. And of course the main reason is that Jeremy can (sometimes) hang out here, which he couldn't at my dad's house...and of course if every day were like today I could get over Rachael being a crazypants. But not all days are today....and most days it just isn't worth it.
So...this entry is a lot more depressing, no? A friendship of five years possibly ending. Wonderful.