X-posted at eliziumvilleI just completely buggerfied my hair up. I noticed that it was getting long, so I grabbed the ol' sharp and pointy and hacked away. I measured off about 2 inches, which seemed reasonable at the time, but was quite clearly too much. See, I am cursed with thick and lustrous hair. Now, you may think that is a stupid thing to ( Read more... )

This lj will probably remain my preferred periodical musing space, I joined the rest of the sheep (i.e. all of you motherfuckers...god I hate the internet) and got a myspace ( Read more... )

I made such a cold fool of myself on Saturday with a girl that I had to call her today to apologize for "acting such the cad." I also said something along the lines of "libations bring out an uncouth element in my personality ( Read more... )

I kicked my boss in the nuts on Saturday. I can't really remember why. I was pretty drunk at the time, so I think that it was supposed to be a joke. He kicked me in return so I guess we're even, fuck I thought I was going to throw up when he did. Saturday was the Black and Blue Ball and it was actually a lot of fun (and not just for hoofing Dave ( Read more... )

I went to see a hypnotist last week. Not because I have deep-seeded psychological issues that needed to be brought out, rather it was a hypnotism show. Although I do have deep-sided psychological issues, as well as superficial psychological issues and imaginary psychological issues, as well as ( Read more... )

I should probably update more, but I don't. So there ( Read more... )

The Ultimates fucking rule.

( Cut for bigness )

Most people, when drunk, do cool things like have sex, commit crimes or have sex. What do I do when I'm drunk? Well, according to the envelope that arrived in the mail today, I sign up for accident insurance.

A guy came in my store and wandered around talking to himself. My music was too loud (Maximo Park) and he was on the other side of the store, so for the most part I couldn't hear what he was saying. Mostly he was picking up movies and commenting on them to himself. After about 20 minutes, he made it over to a section slightly closer to me and ( Read more... )

I went grocery shopping today. I bought twelve beers, 3 bottles of Coke, chicken fingers and 4 pounds of grapes....and that's it. People who complain about grocery shopping obviously don't know how to shop ( Read more... )