Out of the Blue.

[elle_icit]

I thought I'd had a really bad day yesterday.......well not me......... other people. A phone call from the Sister let me know our mutual friend Jane has cancer in it's late stages..... which has now spread to her liver and she has around three months before she dies. *sigh* Jane is 51. I knew (don't ask me how, I just did) when we first met two

Comments

[chando]

thought provoking post... I'm sorry for your friend...
*hugs*

[elle_icit]

*hug back* Strangely enough...well perhaps It's not so strange....Jane isn't feeling sorry for herself. Her belief system/philosophy/religion means that she seems to be looking on everything as..... 'an exiting adventure' (part of her beliefs include reincarnation) In someone else I'd be saying this might possibly be part of her defense against death...but with Jane I'm not sure. (As an ex paramedic she's seen death and serious illness from every angle.)

[pleeaase]

Hey elle, it's "musician", from hpana, if you can remember me

[elle_icit]

Course I remember you. :-)) It's absolutely fine to take as much space as you like........I have plenty. Nice to hear from you

[pleeaase]

hehe, I only realised after I posted *just how much space it does take... (whoops) =)

So... I suppose it was always unlikely I'd interpret correctly.. Oh well, managed to ramble on quite a bit anyway.. ;)

If it's not giving up so much as doing a Dumbledore and thinking "to the well organised mind, death is..", well, you know, then that's, if she is really able to do that, huge and pretty amazing of her. Good for her, I suppose, if it seems unlikely she could pull through. Sort of out of my understanding, if there are people who care and who she cares about, but still.. I don't know.

[elle_icit]

:-))))). That's fine.

I don't know if she'll make it. At the moment she is choosing life. Sometimes the people who care the most are not the people we need to be around in such circumstances. She knows it and at present is choosing to be with people (who are not family) but who she needs to be with. (And she's dumped the boyfriend....which can only be good.)

[me_pirateship]

*huge comforting hugs*
I'm so sorry about your friend.

As I've told you (was it in the bar at Picadilly Circus?): You give the impression that you know how to live - because you are surrounded by such a VERY strong sense of ... well... just life, living... really living, actively living, leaving deep impressions in your fellow humans, not just existing, I mean. *HUGS* I'm very glad to know you.

[elle_icit]

Thank you sweety. *HUG* I'm feeling slightly differently about it now since I've spoken to her and I'm.......well thinking.
After I leave Nuremberg, where I fully intend to have a great time, I'll spend Christmas in London, then go on to the Island for New Year. I am (at the moment) dreading attending her 'goodbye party' It's a very different way of looking at death and I'm struggling with it a bit. (All very well in theory ...but in practice?) I should take a leaf from the 12 year old nephews book. His response was .....Hmmm....How much fun can she have in three months?'

[me_pirateship]

So she really wants to have everyone come and say goodbye... well, it DOES mean the morphine works and she's not suffering too much, otherwise she'd not want to see and talk to anybody. Maybe she actually manages to live those last few weeks according to the wise 12-year old's rules...

So is she a really close friend of your sister's then? Good that you stay with her over New Year. This IS time and energy you invest in YOUR life, being there for your sister, mainly. You can't do much for Jane. I wish you that you manage not to let yourself be dragged down too much.

[elle_icit]

Sometimes kids are wiser than adults because they don't have such a strong developed sense of things like duty, obligation, politeness or guilt. These are the things that can often get in the way of us doing what we want rather than what others want us to do.

Yes, she is home from hospital staying with sister (who is strongest and most open person who can support her no problem...not to mention the 3 nephews) and will be on a flight to South America tomorrow where she will have FUN ....where she can do what she wants to do. I SO VERY much hope she will be alive at New Year as I want to see her face to face and say goodbye. It will upset me sweety but not drag me down.

[snoopylover9]

I am so very sorry about your friend, my dear *hugs*

Stupid effing disease needs to be obliterated. No one should ever have to die from it. Right now a college chum's 11-year-old son is battling what we hope is a very curable cancer, but he totally missed his summer by being in hospital.

I LOVE my life--the people that are in it, how I live it and the gifts that I am given every day.

*hugs again*

[elle_icit]

*hugs* I don't know about the medical ins and outs of cancer, but I think apparently we all have the ability to change or grow abnormal cells. All it takes for cancer to develope is for us to provide the environment that encourages it. :-((((

I'm glad you love your life....I love mine too.........but.... I can see changes I will make so I can love it even more. Shame it takes something like this to motivate me.

[elle_icit]

I agree...our brains and bodies are connected and I guess how we live our lives WILL have a physical effect.....and vise versa. Only western medicine tries to look at them both separately. (How stupid is that?) Jane knows it too. Not only does she have her working experience she has her knowing that tells her so.

Kids grow up, and each year brings less and less need of a parent.....well that's the way it's supposed to go. I think from what l know of you that you've done a great job as a parent...and perhaps it's time to look after you now? Less stress and more fun.?

[elle_icit]

Sweety, there aren't any alternatives for fun that I know of. It's the best medicine.................Jane knows it. *hug*