Sweet Misery: Chapter Eleven

[elle_s_shadow]

Title: Sweet Misery (11/17)
Author: Elle's Shadow
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Mild Ron/Hermione, Mild Harry/Ginny
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry, along with Ron and Hermione, returns to Privet Drive until his birthday, before setting off to find and destroy the horcruxes. Before he can leave, however, he receives an unexpected visit from someone

Comments

[flamesnchains]

I'll be honest. I figured there'd be a little more than "You're on my bed" when Draco came upstairs. But I see it takes more than that to have Harry make a move. I had to read the sentence twice to make sure Harry did kiss him first. Is that right? I also love the whole thing about family. I forgot that Ron is also a distant part of the Black family. Read that part a while ago. But, I think it was important for Draco to admit that family is important to him. Throughout the books, it seems that they are vital to his existence. He doesn't rely on his friends. Harry never had much choice in the matter, making a family out of his friends. So, I'm glad you have this connection. And "aww..." about them sleeping in the same bed tonight.

[flamesnchains]

Oh. And I love how Harry calls Draco a nancy-boy.

[elle_s_shadow]

... I know I replied to this. I did. *shakes head at lj*

Well... sorry if you didn't like Draco's reaction... but it's just showing how tentative they still are - he chickened out last second and I find it very in-character for him.

I'm glad you liked the family bit - it becomes important later in the story. :D

[flamesnchains]

It does show how they're still timid of each other. It is more in character. So, I'm happy about that. I think Harry had to make the first move anyway.

[smilemptysoul]

muuuuch better. I can see it now!

I absolutely love this story.
I love Hemione "Don't be a wuss, Malfoy," she said easily, "Ron and I are still here, after all."

gods. Thanks.

[elle_s_shadow]

thanks so much! :D

[benji_roxmisox]

nancy-boy.
ahahaha priceless!

YAY kiss!
they're so cute =B
well done, well done.

♥
-Kaelen

[elle_s_shadow]

Haha. Draco is such a nancy-boy, isn't he?

So you approve of our official first kiss? I must say, I was rather fond of it myself.

I was really trying to show with this chapter just how unstable they are with each other. Nothing's for certain yet, and every move is calculated. They're on the dge right now, and seem to be leaning towards relationship... but we'll see next chapter :D

[bressa621]

I liked this chapter. I wasn't in love with it, but I liked it.

Why wasn't I in love with it?

The relationship had a beautiful build, but its climax, the point that should be sweetest, leaves a lot to be desired. I know you're not a very descriptive writer, I appreciate that, but the first kiss needed to be more. It seems like you want to make it seem like it's natural, like this is just what should have happened ages ago, and you do get that across. But you're sacrificing the beauty of the relationship for it. Please, don't do that. Please. I hope your next chapter keeps more of that in mind.

[elle_s_shadow]

I'm glad you liked it, if anything.

I really don't know how i want to respond, because, truthfully, I /really/ love it as their first kiss. It's not the climax of their relationship - trust me. They're teetering on the edge right now, leaning hard towards relationship... but they're still not stable. Things change. They're both still scared of whats happening with each other.

For it to 'be more' would have totally ruined their dynamic, the tentative 'almost' that hasn't quite been reached yet - even now.

I really don't feel that i'm diminishing anything, because so much more has to come for them - we haven't seen /any/ of their beauty yet. Just keep reading :D

Sorry if this chapter wasn't your cup of tea... I hope you like the next one better.

[bressa621]

I know what you mean, I could feel that when I was reading, but it just isn't how I generally see it happening. Nevertheless, you did do it well, and hence I liked it.

[elle_s_shadow]

Thanks! :D