Rules of Engagement 2/4
Part 1
Jensen has a 10 a.m. tee time with his dad this morning, and he’s not going to let Jared’s crashing in on his vacation ruin that. But then Alan invites Jared to go with them. Jensen tries not to pout too much and instead pulls out the extra set of clubs he keeps at his parents’ house.
“We can share, I guess, if you don’t mind,” Jensen suggests, hefting the bag into Alan’s SUV. “Dad’s kinda particular about other people using his clubs.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m not picky. As long as you don’t care.”
Jensen snaps his eyes up from Jared’s knees, visible below the hem of his baggy shorts, and back up to his face, which is his usual indifferent mask. “It’s good,” Jensen says, skirting around Jared to get into the front seat next to Alan. He lets out a quiet breath once Jared’s eyes are no longer on him. Seriously, how is he going to make it for an entire week with that man always so close?
The golf course is crowded, not unexpected for a gorgeous Saturday in June. They grab a golf cart, which Alan of course insists on driving, and head to the first hole. It becomes immediately evident that Jared sucks at golf.
“So what was that? Number six?” Jensen asks Jared, fiddling with the clubs in his bag to hide a grin.
“Shut up,” Jared retorts petulantly. He walks the few feet to his ball and lines up for another shot, his seventh on this particular hole. At this rate, it’ll take them all day to finish all nine holes. “Some of us are too busy to perfect our golfing skills.”
“Yes, son, we know how important you are,” Alan says dryly.
Jared narrows his eyes for a second, then focuses on his ball again. He swings, and this time the ball plunks into the hole. Jared sighs in obvious relief. Jensen can’t suppress his snort of laughter, even after Jared turns and glares at him.
“Y’all are not helping,” Jared complains, pointing his club at them.
Jensen nearly chokes on his laughter, because Jared’s voice all deep and slow as molasses like a true Texan does things to him. Jared’s accent has been coming out more and more as the day progresses, and it’s another item in a long list of incongruous things about Jared that Jensen’s trying to get used to.
It’s Jensen’s turn after that. He makes the next hole in four, which is pretty decent for this course. He stands out of the way in a small copse of trees, waiting for Alan and Jared to catch up. Jensen can barely see them from over here, and he shades his eyes with his hand to cut down on the glare. Jared looks pissy even from this far away, his shoulders in a tense line and back up like an angry cat. He postures relaxes a minute later, however, as Alan approaches and helps to correct Jared’s stance. Feet in more, elbow at this angle, look here not there. Jensen heard it plenty when he first learned to play. It must help. Jared’s first swing lands him halfway to the hole, which is a damn sight better than he’s done all day. Jensen sees Jared’s pleased smile as he draws closer but ducks his head before meeting Jared’s gaze.
Jared improves markedly on the rest of the holes. Still not good but certainly respectable for someone that hardly ever plays. Alan congratulates him with a friendly slap on the back when they drop the cart off.
“Not too bad, Jared,” Jensen tells him.
“Thanks,” Jared replies, smiling slightly.
“Course, you’ll never beat an Ackles, but we can’t all be experts at everything. Right, Dad?” Jensen laughs at Jared’s indignant glare, but it soon melts into a wry smile.
“All right, boys. I could use a beer and some food,” Alan announces. “You up for it?”
“Sure, Dad.”
They eat at the clubhouse. It’s not necessarily the best food, but it’s good enough. Jensen sits back in his chair, full and content, and marvels at how the day didn’t turn out as bad as he expected.
When Alan excuses himself to the restroom, Jared nudges Jensen’s foot under the table to get his attention.
“What have you told your family about me?” Jared asks.
Jensen studies him for a moment, debating. “Just the truth,” he answers finally.
“The truth, huh?”
“Yes. Why? And why do you care?” Jensen shifts irritably in his chair, leaning over to rest his elbows on the table.
“Because everyone looks at me suspiciously. And some of the things they’ve said have been-” He trails off, shrugging. “And of course I care what people think of me, Jensen, even if I’ll probably never see them after this.”
Jensen sits back again, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t think you need to worry. Zoe already thinks you’re romantic and adorable, and Ryan thinks you’re cool for talking to him about his video game. And you probably just won my dad over with your not-so-stellar golf skills. Besides, it really doesn’t matter. You may have forced me into this, but I don’t want my family any more involved than necessary.”
“I don’t-”
Alan comes back then, interrupting Jared and breaking the tension between them. Jensen scrapes his chair back and tosses his napkin onto the table, irrationally angry at Jared for ruining what had been a good day up to then.
“Let’s go home,” he snaps, ignoring both his dad’s puzzled expression and Jared’s annoyed huff.
Jensen loves his mama’s pancakes- plain, chocolate, blueberry, whatever flavor. She’s been making them every Sunday morning for as long as Jensen can remember, and today is no different. He usually doesn’t eat breakfast, since he often runs late after hitting the gym and just grabs a muffin at Starbucks when he stops for Jared’s peppermint mocha. It’s an indulgence to come here and eat proper meals every day.
“These are excellent, Mama, just like always,” he tells her, forking his fifth pancake onto his plate.
“Thank you.” She lays a hand on the back of his neck and squeezes. “I think your fiancé likes them as well,” she teases.
Looking up from the huge stack of pancakes on his plate, Jared smiles sheepishly. “We should’ve warned you about the Padalecki appetite, Donna. I’ll owe you some groceries before we leave.”
“Nonsense. I enjoy feeding you kids.”
“Which is why you can’t get rid of this loser,” Jensen says, standing up to put his plate in the sink and hip-checking Josh out of the way.
“Not all of us were in a hurry to run away to the big city,” Josh retorts. It’s an old argument between them and never a serious one.
“Sorry, Josh. Richardson was just too small to hold my awesomeness.”
“Whatever.” Josh takes a sip of coffee, then sets the mug on the counter beside him. “So, do you guys have plans for today?”
“Not really. Thought we’d just hang out here.” Jensen narrows his eyes at his brother. He doesn’t like the amused smirk on Josh’s face. “Why?”
“I think it’s time Jared and I have a little brother and soon-to-be-brother-in-law bonding.”
“Oh, no! No! Josh, you are not doing that this time!”
“Is something wrong with that?” Jared asks curiously. He’s sitting back in his chair now, impossibly long legs kicked out in front of him. Jensen tears his eyes away from the tight pull of denim over Jared’s thighs and glares at Josh.
“Nothing. Jensen’s just paranoid.”
“No, I’m not. Where are you taking him?” Jensen asks anxiously. He learned a long time ago not to trust Josh alone with his boyfriends. It’s potentially even more dangerous this time, since Jared’s unlikely to pass any boyfriend test Josh puts him through. And the last thing he needs is Jared to be by himself with anyone in his family. He doesn’t trust Jared any more than Josh.
But Josh only laughs and slides an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Jenny. I’ll bring him back in one piece.”
“You better. And don’t call me that.”
Laughing again, Josh squeezes his shoulder, then steps away. “Come on, Jared. I promise to take good care of you.”
“Josh! No involving the police this time!” he yells before they disappear.
Jared shoots him a worried frown as Josh drags him out of the room.
*****
Jensen’s manning the grill, keeping one eye on the steaks and the other one on Logan and Ryan playing with Spike, when someone walks up behind him and steals the half-empty beer out of his hand.
“Hey! I was drinking that!” he protests, glancing over his shoulder. Jared grins at him and tilts the bottle for a long swallow. Jensen can’t help watching his throat work.
“Thanks, baby. I needed that.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and turns back to the grill. “So I see you made it out of Josh’s bonding time alive and whole.”
“Yep. I know you were worried.”
“Was not,” he counters, inwardly wincing at how childish that sounded. Jensen spent most of the day helping his dad with a woodworking project in the garage, trying not to think about Jared and what he might say to Josh. It hadn’t really been a very effective distraction. “Where did you guys go anyway?”
“Nope, sorry, Jensen. I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
Setting down the tongs, Jensen faces Jared, crossing his arms and giving Jared his best determined face. Problem is, Jared’s an expert at the determined face himself, and Jensen’s just rolls right over him. “What did you do? And what did you tell him?”
“Jesus, Jensen, calm down. I made up a bunch of bullshit about how wonderful our relationship is and how much we love each other. Josh bought it all easily. Truthfully, I’m a little concerned with how gullible your family is.”
“They have no reason to think we’re lying, Jared.”
“Mm,” Jared says noncommittally, then gestures with his chin toward the grill. “Your meat’s burning.”
Jensen swears and whirls around, hastily flipping the steaks.
“You’d think it’d take more to convince them than a few lies about a stupidly romantic proposal story,” Jared muses.
“What do you mean?” He feels Jared move closer but stubbornly stands his ground.
“I mean like touching- hugging, kissing, cuddling, just generally acting like a couple and like we can stand each other,” Jared explains and the next thing Jensen knows, Jared has an arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him in close.
“Whoa!” Jensen exclaims, jumping away like Jared just goosed him. “Watch where you’re putting your hands, buddy!”
“You do realize that when we get back, we’ll have to prove ourselves to Ms. Ferris, right? And she does have reason to think we’re lying. She will easily see right through everything we say to her and how we act. And she determines our future. We’re supposed to be a real couple and unfortunately for us, real couples touch each other. This is good practice for our meeting with Ms. Ferris.”
He’s right, and Jensen hates that he’s right, but he concedes the point with a short nod.
“Just warn me next time, grabby hands.”
Jared bares his teeth in an icy smile and holds his arm out till Jensen reluctantly snuggles back in. It’s not so bad this time since he was expecting it, but it’s still extremely strange. Jared’s warm, heat pulsing off his body and seeping into Jensen wherever they have contact. It’s too much under the hot Texas sun, but Jensen doesn’t pull away, even though he’s starting to sweat and this makes it harder to work the grill. Jared stays plastered to his side until the steaks are ready, finishing Jensen’s beer and laughing at the epic game of tug-o-war going on between the boys and the puppy. Jensen can’t help smiling himself and relaxes a little, though he’s acutely aware of Jared next to him the whole time.
*****
“Food’s done!” Jensen yells and laughs as Logan whoops happily.
He piles all the steaks up on a plate, slipping out of Jared’s hold, and carries it over to the already-crowded picnic table. Everyone rotates around the table, filling their plates before settling into their seats.
“I wanna sit next to Jared!” Ryan announces, standing by Jared with his plate.
Jared looks startled but immediately says, “Sure, kiddo. Come on up here.”
Ryan beams and sets his plate down on the table, then climbs in next to Jared. Jared slides down to make room, which puts him closer to Jensen. He’d move down himself, to get away from Jared’s overwhelming heat, but he thinks about Jared’s little speech about Ms. Ferris and how they need to work on convincing people they’re in love. And, yeah, this is never gonna work if a simple hug or their knees touching sends Jensen running. He has a feeling this won’t work anyway. It’s so much more complicated than he expected, but that doesn’t mean he’s giving up.
“Here, let me do that for you, buddy,” Jared says, and Jensen abruptly tunes back into the conversation. Jared helps Ryan cut up his steak into small bites, Ryan staring at him in fascination the whole time. “You know, when I was about your age, my older brother taught me how to cut his meat, just because he was lazy and that way I did it for him. I used to walk under the dining table to get to his side.”
“There was a time when you fit under a table?” Josh asks incredulously.
“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m a strapping, manly guy.” Jared flexes his bicep, and Jensen swallows, looking away hastily.
“Ignore him, Jared. He’s just jealous about someone else being taller than him,” Jensen says and laughs when Josh pouts.
“You had to bring a giant home, didn’t you, Jenny?”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yes, I did it just to piss you off, Josh. And don’t call me that.”
“So,” Jared says nonchalantly, “I probably shouldn’t mention that my brother is even taller than me, huh?”
Josh’s eyes go comically wide as he mouths holy shit. Jensen shares a grin with Jared, and the shocking warmth of that leaves him unsettled for the rest of the meal.
*****
After Jensen finishes the dishes with his mama, he grabs a beer from the fridge and heads outside to the back deck. Zoe’s sitting against the post on the top step, legs stretched out and a soft smile on her face. Jensen follows her gaze to where Jared’s out in the yard with the boys, Spike chasing after them as they run all over the place.
“What are they doing?” he asks Zoe. Leaning against the top railing, Jensen sets his beer down and squints at the blurry figures now standing in a clump by the big oak tree.
“Catching lightning bugs,” Zoe answers, tipping her head back to look at him. “They’re having a contest, Logan and Ryan against Jared. He’s on his own since he’s so big.”
He smiles, taking a swig of his drink. Now that he’s paying attention, he sees the tiny pinpricks of light as the lightning bugs buzz around. There aren’t very many for this time of year. Jensen remembers fighting off swarms of them while tossing the football with Josh.
“Who’s winning?”
“Not sure really. Ryan keeps running over here to show me every one he catches, and Logan says Jared has an unfair advantage since he’s so much taller than they are. I think they’re mostly just having fun with the whole catch-and-release thing.”
Jared laughs then, the sound carrying distinctly over the distance. It goes right through Jensen and settles in his chest, and he shakes his head to dispel the warm feeling it leaves behind.
“Unfair advantage?” he repeats as a further distraction. “They barely reach his knees!”
Laughing, Zoe nods. “I know. It’s sweet, watching him with the boys. He’s just a big kid himself.”
Jensen never would’ve described Jared that way in a million years, but it seems apt now. He’s clearly as excited about lightning bugs as Logan and Ryan are. “Is that a polite way of telling me my boyfriend is immature?” he jokes.
“No! I swear, it was a compliment!”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
Zoe turns to face him, giving him her full attention. “So. How did you and Jared get together anyway? The way you always talked about him- I guess I just never pictured you with someone like that.”
Jensen’s been dreading this question all weekend. He’s surprised no one has asked before now. He’d rather not answer, so he goes for something vague. “I don’t know. It sorta just happened one day.” When he blackmailed me into marrying him.
“Oh, come on. I don’t want the BS story you gave to everyone else. Tell me the nitty-gritty details.”
“It really isn’t that exciting,” Jensen stalls, but Zoe shoots him a skeptical look, so he gives her the story he and Jared came up with on the plane. “We were working late one night and got to discussing our favorite books. Found out we liked a lot of the same ones. Before we knew it, hours had gone by and people were coming into the office to start work in the morning. He asked me to dinner that night, and things progressed from there.”
“That’s sweet. You bonded over your love of books,” she gushes.
“Yeah, well, we do work at a publishing company. It’s not so unbelievable.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell us about him?”
Jensen shrugs, feeling twitchy under her scrutiny. “Jared wanted to keep it quiet because of work and then it was kinda fun dating in secret, so I just never told anyone. But I figured I couldn’t keep it from Mama anymore once we got engaged.”
“Oh, hell no. She’d kill you,” Zoe agrees.
Just like she’d kill him if she found out about this web of lies he’s tangled in.
They lapse into silence then, content to listen to the kids laugh and squeal as they chase bugs. It’s a little cooler now that the sun has gone down but not by much. He still feels like he’s melting. Josh always used to tease him about growing soft in New York, since he can’t take the heat anymore, but Josh nearly froze to death the first time he experienced a real winter. He hasn’t said anything to Jensen since.
After awhile, Ryan comes over, scratching his arm and pouting. Logan and Jared walk behind, Spike curled up in Jared’s arms like he just flopped over from exhaustion. Jared drops into a chair and tucks the puppy under his chin. They both look relaxed and content, Spike sprawled over Jared’s chest and Jared with a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. Jensen glances away quickly. Ryan crawls into Zoe’s lap while Jensen makes room for Logan beside him.
“What’s the matter, little man?” Zoe asks.
“Squitos keep biting me,” Ryan responds dejectedly, like it’s the worst thing to ever happen to him. Jensen wishes his own problems were so simple.
“It’s because you taste so sweet.” Zoe tickles him under the chin, and Ryan giggles, squirming around and protesting weakly. “We’ll put some cream on it, okay? We should probably head home anyway. It’s getting late.”
“I’m not tired!” Ryan immediately yells. Jensen ducks his head to hide a smile and out of the corner of his eye, notices Jared do the same thing.
“Well, I am. So say goodbye to Uncle Jensen and Jared and round up your daddy, okay?”
“But Mo-om!” Logan protests, pouting.
“You’ll see us in a couple days at the party, guys,” Jensen reminds them.
Logan sighs, long and loud, like this is such a hardship for him. “All right.”
“But I’m still not tired!” Ryan repeats.
“I know, sweetie.” Zoe nudges him in the side. “Say bye and find your daddy.”
The boys give him and Jared hugs, then drag their feet into the house.
“Oh, to be young and dreading bedtime again,” Jensen laments, and Jared snorts. “They might not be tired, but I am. You ready to head upstairs to bed after they leave?” he asks, then freezes, because that came out way too easily and reminds him way too much of his parents.
But Zoe’s sending them those gooey-eyed looks, like she thinks they’re the most adorable couple ever, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing.
“Drunken Scrabble? Really? That’s what you did in college?”
Jared shrugs with a self-deprecating smile. “It wasn’t exactly a party school.”
“I’ll say.”
“Whatever. I’m in,” Josh announces and rubs his hands to together.
“All right. I’ll go get the alcohol. Mac, can you go find Scrabble?”
This isn’t exactly how he planned to relax after a day of setting up for the party, but no one could think of anything else besides Mac’s board game idea. It appealed even more once Jared suggested turning it into a drinking game as well. It’s not something he expected from Jared- he always seems too in control to enjoy getting drunk.
Jensen comes back with an armful of glasses and a half-empty bottle of rum, the only hard liquor his parents have in the house. Josh and Jared had cleared off the coffee table to make room for the game board. Jensen sets the glasses and bottle down, then sits cross-legged on the floor. Jared settles across from him, Josh and Mac at his sides.
“So, how do we do this? Are there rules?” he asks.
Jared nods as he opens the game and starts setting it up. “Drink when the other player gets a double or triple word score or uses a Z or X. You drink if you pass on a round.”
Sounds simple enough. They each choose their pieces quietly, the silence stretching on for several minutes while they plan their strategies. Jensen doesn’t have a lot to work with- too many vowels, as usual. Luckily, Josh starts them out with a longish word that’s easy to go off. They each have a couple turns before Mac finally has a double word score, and they all take a shot as she watches smugly. The rum is good, smooth and rich. Jensen licks his lips after, then glances up in time to see Jared hastily look away from him, frowning down at the board.
They talk about random things as they play. Logan and Ryan begging to go to Disney World. Mac’s secret crush on the UPS guy that comes into work. The dog Jared had growing up. They laugh a lot, especially at Mac when she blushes over the UPS guy. It’s the most relaxed Jensen’s ever felt around Jared. There’s always so much tension between them, in one way or another, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but Jensen thinks he sees how Jared might be an okay guy. When he’s not ordering Jensen around, at least.
“I can’t imagine doing this with my siblings,” Jared mentions at one point.
“No? You guys don’t get along?” Josh asks.
“It’s not that. Jeff’s kinda-” He pauses, cocking his head to the side and wrinkling his nose. “He’s kinda stuffy, I guess. And even though we’re all of age, he’d probably think we’re too young to sit around drinking in our parents’ family room.”
“His loss, man. I was the one that took Jenny out and got him drunk the first time,” Josh says with a devilish grin. Jensen tunes out his use of Jenny; it’s pointless to complain anymore.
“Really?” Jared looks incredulous, eyes wide and mouth parted.
“Yep. He took me to a party when I visited him at UT my senior year. I threw up on his shoes and passed out in his truck on the way home.” Jensen smiles, remembering. “Mama was so pissed when she found out. She grounded me for weeks, but it was worth it.”
“Wow. You have a seriously cool big brother, Jen.”
Josh smacks Jensen’s arm, smug expression on his face, but Jensen pointedly ignores him. “You’ll never hear me admit it out loud.”
“So how many brothers and sisters do you have, Jared?” Mac asks.
“An older brother and a younger sister,” Jensen answers for him, happy that he knows since there’s still so much about Jared that’s a mystery to him. “Jeff and Megan.”
“Just like you, huh? That’s weird,” Josh says.
“Yeah, ‘cause no one else in the world has an older brother and younger sister,” Jensen replies dryly, rolling his eyes. Jared grins, and Jensen gets lost in his dimples for a moment before he shakes his head and returns his concentration to Scrabble.
It’s probably no surprise that Jared’s winning. They’re running out of room on the board, and the rum left them all pleasantly buzzed.
When Mac tries to discreetly hide a yawn behind her hand, Jensen decides, “We should probably call it a night, guys.”
“Yeah, I should go home before Zoe thinks I got kidnapped or something.”
“And we have a long day tomorrow.”
“45 years,” Mac muses softly. “It’s hard to believe anyone’s stayed married for that long. Do you guys think you’ll make it to 45 years?” She gestures between Jared and Jensen, amusement clear in her eyes, but the question still hits Jensen hard for some reason. He hasn’t really thought much beyond getting through this week. What happens after he and Jared get married? He shares a glance with Jared, and it’s obvious Jared’s having similar thoughts.
“If we don’t kill each other first,” Jensen finally answers, and everyone laughs.
He and Jared walk Josh and Mac to the door, then head up to bed. Jared falls asleep right away, his breathing deep and even and lulling Jensen into a semi-conscious state. It takes a long time for Jensen to fully drop off, though.
As far as Jensen’s concerned, the party is a huge success. There has to be close to 200 people here. Everyone’s laughing and eating and dancing. His parents haven’t stopped beaming at each other. Jensen’s gotten to spend time with so many cousins, aunts and uncles, and family friends that he hasn’t seen in ages. It’s incredible, and Jensen couldn’t be happier.
Right now he’s talking to his gran, who’s approaching 90 but still sharp as a tack. She’s reminiscing, telling him about his grandfather, who died before Jensen was born, and her own wedding. “Giving you tips for when you marry your handsome fiancé,” as she informs him. He just hopes she doesn’t plan to give him tips on the wedding night next.
“Jen.”
Jensen looks up to see Jared standing by the table, hand outstretched toward him.
“Come dance,” Jared urges, but Jensen hesitates.
“I don’t know,” he hedges. “I’ve been watching you dance, Jay. Not so sure I want to get in the way of your flailing arms.” He grins at Jared’s annoyed pout, then yelps when his gran smacks him on the shoulder with her purse.
“Go dance with your fiancé, young man!” she tells him sternly.
Jensen should know better than to disobey her, but he is a little afraid of getting too close to Jared on the dance floor.
“Come on,” Jared says again, and this time Jensen nods.
Jared takes his hand and leads him onto the crowded space. Just as they get there, the DJ announces, “We’re gonna slow it down for awhile, folks, so grab that special someone,” and starts playing a really cheesy love song. It’s like something from a stupid rom-com. Jensen would accuse Jared of planning it that way on purpose if Jared didn’t look just as surprised.
Jared recovers quicker and shrugs, holding his arms out slightly. “May as well, right? Consider it practice for the reception we’ll need to stage for Ms. Ferris’s benefit,” he adds when Jensen fails to move closer.
“Right.”
There’s an awkward moment when they both go for the leading position, and Jensen steps back, face flushed. Jared follows him, though, and places Jensen’s arms around his waist before doing the same with his own arms around Jensen.
“Stop standing so stiff,” Jared murmurs with an annoyed huff. “And closer would be better. I’m pretty sure engaged couples don’t dance three feet away from each other.”
Jensen rolls his eyes, then stumbles when Jared draws him nearer with a hand at the small of his back. They’re now close enough that Jensen can see the moles by Jared’s nose and chin, could probably count the flecks of gold in his eyes if he weren’t avoiding Jared’s gaze so assiduously. Their chests brush with every breath, Jared’s aftershave filling his nose, something woodsy and amazing. Jensen has to stop himself from nuzzling Jared’s neck to find out if he tastes as good as he smells. Instead, he concentrates on not tripping over Jared’s stupidly big feet and waits until he can escape.
“Look at your parents,” Jared says somewhere in the middle of the third song, bending down to talk directly in Jensen’s ear.
Suppressing a shiver, Jensen follows Jared’s gaze to the other side of the dance floor to where his parents are, wrapped tight in one another’s arms and eyes only for each other. Jensen’s heart aches for a long moment, watching them like that and knowing he probably won’t ever have a relationship like that. It’s not something he’ll have with Jared, that’s for sure.
Growing up, Jensen thought his parents were embarrassing, the way they’d kiss and hold hands- where other people could see them! As he got older and started dating, though, he realized he wanted that for himself. He wants a marriage like theirs- loving, partners, each other’s strength. This farce of a marriage to Jared is so far off from what he ever expected. Watching his parents dance and carry on like a couple half their age, Jensen regrets saying yes to Jared. Not for the first time, certainly, but it’d been happening less and less over the last couple days. But he can’t back out now, won’t back out. Jared needs him, and he’s more inclined to help after seeing the more human side of the demanding asshole he’s used to. Doesn’t mean he’s exactly happy about it, but he’s less pissed.
Except his parents are making him change his mind yet again.
Jensen starts at the sudden hand on his back but relaxes when he sees Mac.
“Hey, Jared. Do you mind if I cut in and dance with my brother for awhile?” she requests playfully, giving Jared an exaggerated pleading look.
“I guess I can tear myself away for a little while.” Jared actually sounds genuinely regretful about leaving. Jensen’s impressed. They’re getting better at this lying thing. “Don’t step on her toes, Jen,” he adds as he leaves. He leans in close, and for a second Jensen’s afraid Jared’s going to kiss him, but he only grins and squeezes the side of Jensen’s neck.
Mac easily slips into the traditional waltz position he used whenever they danced when they were younger. This time she doesn’t stand on his feet, though.
“I think our party is a success. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Definitely. Mama and Dad are having fun, and that’s the most important thing.”
“They’re acting kinda sickeningly sweet tonight.”
“I think it’s great.”
“No, it is. You’re lucky you found someone you can have that with,” Mac sighs wistfully.
Jensen winces inwardly, then covers the awkward pause with a joke. “You could have it, too, if you’d ask out the hot UPS guy. Your one true love.”
Huffing, Mac socks him on the arm. “Ha ha.”
“Hey, you never know. Mama and Dad met at work.”
“And that’s how you met Jared.”
“Yeah. That’s how I met Jared,” Jensen says quietly. Can’t he stop talking or thinking about Jared for one minute? He hasn’t gotten any peace since they arrived in Texas.
But then Jared goes by with Logan and Ryan, doing some sort of strange mix of hip hop and two-step, and Jensen can’t help the stupid grin that spreads across his face. That’s been happening more and more lately.
“All right, folks,” the DJ says at the end of that song. “We’re taking a break for a few minutes while the lovely couple cuts the cake. See you back on the dance floor soon!”
It takes two of the serving staff to wheel out the cart with the massive cake on it. They ordered the cake from Donna’s favorite bakery, the same one that made all their birthday cakes growing up. This one has four layers, each one a different flavor since no one could choose just one. Purple icing lilacs cascade down the side to match the bouquet she carried at the wedding. It’s beautiful, and Jensen knows it’ll taste even better.
Donna calls them up for pictures before they cut the cake, including Zoe, Jared, and the boys. Jensen feels a pang at that, hopes no one regrets having Jared join the family pictures later. Jensen stands there while the photographer climbs on a chair to better fit everyone in the frame, a beaming Donna on one side and Jared on the other, warm, close, his arm feeling too good around Jensen’s waist. This can’t end soon enough.
But Jared doesn’t remove his arm when their group breaks up and moves to the side, and Jensen suddenly finds himself not in as much of a hurry to get away.
Everyone’s so exhausted from the party and massive cleanup afterwards that they don’t do much the next day, except sleeping in and hanging around the house.
The only time they leave is when Jensen takes Jared to his favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. The place is a dive, but the food is incredible. Jensen drags everyone he knows there eventually.
They all congregate later in the evening for a family movie night. Jensen realizes Josh and Mac usually have other things to do, and he really appreciates how much time they’re spending at home with him. He loves New York and the life he’s established there, but he misses Texas and his family. Jensen should’ve made that another stipulation in their deal besides the promotion- more time off, more opportunity to come home to Texas.
“Hey, has anyone seen Jared?” he asks in the middle of their argument on what movie to choose.
“He was just here, wasn’t he?” Mac looks around the living room, then shrugs. “Maybe in the kitchen?”
“Yeah, probably. You guys pick whatever you want. I’m gonna go find Jared.”
“Aw, isn’t that sweet? He can’t be away from his boyfriend for five minutes without getting twitchy,” Josh mocks.
“That would be funnier if your wife didn’t have you so whipped, asshole.”
Laughing, Jensen ducks away from the punch Josh aims at his shoulder, then hurries out of the room before Josh decides to chase after him.
Jared isn’t in the kitchen or upstairs. Jensen gets a feeling in his gut, unsettled and worried, but can’t figure out why, except he somehow knows something’s wrong with Jared.
Jensen finally tracks Jared down outside on the back deck, sitting on the steps with his shoulders bowed. The faint moonlight makes his dark hair glow and his skin seem unearthly pale. He barely reacts when Jensen walks outside, just a slight tensing of his muscles, and Jensen approaches him slowly.
“Hey,” Jensen says softly. “What are you doing out here?”
Jared shrugs and half-turns to glance at Jensen. The sadness in his eyes surprises Jensen, especially since he was smiling and goofing around with Logan and Ryan 20 minutes ago.
“Just needed some air,” Jared answers, gaze returning to his hands where a lightning bug just landed. His knuckles are red. Jensen has always found that bizarrely sexy. He flicks his fingers, sending the bug into the air to join the other ones nearby.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Nah, go ahead.”
Jared scoots over to make room for Jensen, and Jensen settles next to him, close enough for their arms and thighs to brush. Jensen tries to ignore the incredible heat coming off Jared’s body.
“You okay, man?” Jensen asks.
“Yeah, it’s just-” Jared pauses, twisting his fingers around and frowning. “Your mom reminds me so much of mine. I guess I just miss my family. I haven’t talked to them in so long.”
“You’ve been busy. I know firsthand how hard you work, Jared.”
“Yeah, but at what cost?” Jared makes an angry noise in the back of his throat and shakes his head, which only makes his already unruly hair even messier. Jensen’s never seen him with a hair out of place till this week. He likes Jared a little disheveled and not quite so put-together.
“I haven’t been home in six years,” Jared elaborates. “I missed my little sister’s college graduation. My niece was over a year old before I met her. I told myself it didn’t matter, that my career was more important and I’d have plenty of time later for family and dating and everything. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am.”
“I know that,” Jensen interrupts. They might not be best friends professionally, but Jensen sees every day how dedicated Jared is to publishing good books, and not just for the well-established authors. He also searches for first time writers that probably wouldn’t get a chance anywhere else.
Snorting, Jared rakes a hand back through his hair. “Then you’re the only one.”
Jensen flushes. Of course Jared’s aware of the rumors that he slept his way up the corporate ladder. Jensen suddenly regrets any time he talked about Jared to his coworkers. He’s starting to realize Jared didn’t deserve any of it.
“You’re excellent at what you do, Jared. It takes sacrifice to get ahead. Yeah, that sucks sometimes, but we all do it.”
“You manage to balance it pretty well.”
“Not always.” Jensen doesn’t mention the birthday parties and holidays he’s missed because Jared needed him at work.
“When’s the last time you were home?”
“Christmas, so almost six months.”
“Six months. I haven’t been home in six years. Being here, seeing you with your family, just reminds me I haven’t been a very good son or brother or uncle lately.”
“That’s not true. I know for a fact you’ve flown your whole family to New York a few times, because you made me arrange their travel plans.” Knocking their shoulders together, Jensen smiles, his stomach fluttering when Jared smiles back. “They know you love them, Jared. Don’t be so hard on yourself about it.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
He doesn’t exactly sound convinced. The dejection in his voice upsets Jensen. When did he start caring whether Jared’s sad about something?
“Hey.” Jensen waits till Jared turns to face him before continuing. “I’m not gonna lie and say you can’t do better, but I honestly don’t think you’re as bad as you seem to. They’re your family. They understand and they love you. A phone call every now and again couldn’t hurt, though,” he finishes with a grin, and Jared snorts a laugh, one dimple flashing before his face grows serious again.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
Jensen’s surprised by his earnestness. Jared’s been surprising him a lot this week.
“You’re welcome,” he replies, voice as soft as Jared’s had been.
It seems natural to squeeze Jared’s thigh in reassurance, until Jared blushes faintly and Jensen realizes how comfortable he’s getting with having Jared so close. This time, though, neither of them moves or looks away like they usually do. Jensen licks his lips nervously and watches Jared’s focus zero in on his mouth. He freezes, body tense in anticipation of something. Jared shifts, and he somehow feels so much closer to Jensen, though he didn’t exactly move. A million versions of the next few moments flash through Jensen’s mind. He honestly has no idea what to expect, but he knows what he wants.
A minute later, while they’re still locked in place, Mac breaks the moment by stepping out onto the deck behind them.
“We’re about to start the movie. You guys coming?” she asks, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the air between them.
Jensen sucks in a deep breath and forces his eyes away from the terrifying, intense look on Jared’s face. “Yeah. Be there in a minute,” he replies, voice gruff.
Mac nods and heads back inside. Jensen’s torn between wanting to run after her to get away from Jared or staying to see if they can recapture the mood. Jared takes the decision out of his hands by standing up and clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Thanks. Again. For the stuff about my family. You’re right and just, thanks,” Jared says.
“No problem.” He glances up at Jared, surprised and happy to see how at ease he is now. It’s as if he left Mr. Padalecki in New York and Jensen’s getting to see Jared for the first time.
Jared turns to go inside, but Jensen remains sitting. “Are you coming?” Jared gives him a quizzical look, brows drawn together.
“Yeah. Tell them not to wait for me. I just need to take care of something real quick.”
“Okay.”
As soon as Jared’s gone, Jensen slips his phone out of his pocket, an idea quickly forming in his head. He just hopes Jared doesn’t kill him for what he’s about to do.
*****
Jared’s already in bed when Jensen gets upstairs after saying goodbye to everyone. Jensen empties his pockets, dumping his phone and a couple interesting rocks that Ryan gave him onto the dresser. Jared’s iPhone is half-leaning against the lamp, and Jensen realizes with a start that this is the first time he’s seen it since the airport. That’s amazing, considering Jared never usually puts the thing down. Come to think of it, Jared hasn’t mentioned work once. It’s strange and not like Jared at all.
Shaking his head, Jensen changes in the bathroom and brushes his teeth, then drags his blankets and pillow out from under the bed, sighing quietly.
“Get up here,” Jared demands suddenly.
“What?” Jensen drops his armful of blankets and sits up on his knees, staring in confusion at Jared’s hair spilled over the pillow, the only part of him Jensen can see from his position.
“Seriously, Jensen, there’s no reason for you to sleep on the floor. We can share the bed. I promise I won’t hog the covers.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“We’re adults. We should be able to sleep in the same bed without a problem.”
“I don’t-”
“Jensen. Get up here.”
He’s conditioned to react to that commanding voice, so it’s not really a surprise when he finds himself agreeing. He grabs a pillow from the floor and shuffles over to the bed. Jared’s already curled on his side, knees bent and one hand tucked between his cheek and the pillow. Jensen climbs in and lies down on his back, as close to the edge as possible without falling off. Jared snorts softly but doesn’t say anything while Jensen reaches over to switch off the light. It’s a big bed, but that space shrinks when you have a giant like Jared next to you. Jensen listens to Jared’s breathing in the dark for a few moments, trying to relax. He’s exhausted, though, so it doesn’t take long for his eyes to slip closed.
“Night, Jensen,” Jared murmurs quietly.
“Night, Jared.”
Part 3
Jensen has a 10 a.m. tee time with his dad this morning, and he’s not going to let Jared’s crashing in on his vacation ruin that. But then Alan invites Jared to go with them. Jensen tries not to pout too much and instead pulls out the extra set of clubs he keeps at his parents’ house.
“We can share, I guess, if you don’t mind,” Jensen suggests, hefting the bag into Alan’s SUV. “Dad’s kinda particular about other people using his clubs.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m not picky. As long as you don’t care.”
Jensen snaps his eyes up from Jared’s knees, visible below the hem of his baggy shorts, and back up to his face, which is his usual indifferent mask. “It’s good,” Jensen says, skirting around Jared to get into the front seat next to Alan. He lets out a quiet breath once Jared’s eyes are no longer on him. Seriously, how is he going to make it for an entire week with that man always so close?
The golf course is crowded, not unexpected for a gorgeous Saturday in June. They grab a golf cart, which Alan of course insists on driving, and head to the first hole. It becomes immediately evident that Jared sucks at golf.
“So what was that? Number six?” Jensen asks Jared, fiddling with the clubs in his bag to hide a grin.
“Shut up,” Jared retorts petulantly. He walks the few feet to his ball and lines up for another shot, his seventh on this particular hole. At this rate, it’ll take them all day to finish all nine holes. “Some of us are too busy to perfect our golfing skills.”
“Yes, son, we know how important you are,” Alan says dryly.
Jared narrows his eyes for a second, then focuses on his ball again. He swings, and this time the ball plunks into the hole. Jared sighs in obvious relief. Jensen can’t suppress his snort of laughter, even after Jared turns and glares at him.
“Y’all are not helping,” Jared complains, pointing his club at them.
Jensen nearly chokes on his laughter, because Jared’s voice all deep and slow as molasses like a true Texan does things to him. Jared’s accent has been coming out more and more as the day progresses, and it’s another item in a long list of incongruous things about Jared that Jensen’s trying to get used to.
It’s Jensen’s turn after that. He makes the next hole in four, which is pretty decent for this course. He stands out of the way in a small copse of trees, waiting for Alan and Jared to catch up. Jensen can barely see them from over here, and he shades his eyes with his hand to cut down on the glare. Jared looks pissy even from this far away, his shoulders in a tense line and back up like an angry cat. He postures relaxes a minute later, however, as Alan approaches and helps to correct Jared’s stance. Feet in more, elbow at this angle, look here not there. Jensen heard it plenty when he first learned to play. It must help. Jared’s first swing lands him halfway to the hole, which is a damn sight better than he’s done all day. Jensen sees Jared’s pleased smile as he draws closer but ducks his head before meeting Jared’s gaze.
Jared improves markedly on the rest of the holes. Still not good but certainly respectable for someone that hardly ever plays. Alan congratulates him with a friendly slap on the back when they drop the cart off.
“Not too bad, Jared,” Jensen tells him.
“Thanks,” Jared replies, smiling slightly.
“Course, you’ll never beat an Ackles, but we can’t all be experts at everything. Right, Dad?” Jensen laughs at Jared’s indignant glare, but it soon melts into a wry smile.
“All right, boys. I could use a beer and some food,” Alan announces. “You up for it?”
“Sure, Dad.”
They eat at the clubhouse. It’s not necessarily the best food, but it’s good enough. Jensen sits back in his chair, full and content, and marvels at how the day didn’t turn out as bad as he expected.
When Alan excuses himself to the restroom, Jared nudges Jensen’s foot under the table to get his attention.
“What have you told your family about me?” Jared asks.
Jensen studies him for a moment, debating. “Just the truth,” he answers finally.
“The truth, huh?”
“Yes. Why? And why do you care?” Jensen shifts irritably in his chair, leaning over to rest his elbows on the table.
“Because everyone looks at me suspiciously. And some of the things they’ve said have been-” He trails off, shrugging. “And of course I care what people think of me, Jensen, even if I’ll probably never see them after this.”
Jensen sits back again, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t think you need to worry. Zoe already thinks you’re romantic and adorable, and Ryan thinks you’re cool for talking to him about his video game. And you probably just won my dad over with your not-so-stellar golf skills. Besides, it really doesn’t matter. You may have forced me into this, but I don’t want my family any more involved than necessary.”
“I don’t-”
Alan comes back then, interrupting Jared and breaking the tension between them. Jensen scrapes his chair back and tosses his napkin onto the table, irrationally angry at Jared for ruining what had been a good day up to then.
“Let’s go home,” he snaps, ignoring both his dad’s puzzled expression and Jared’s annoyed huff.
Jensen loves his mama’s pancakes- plain, chocolate, blueberry, whatever flavor. She’s been making them every Sunday morning for as long as Jensen can remember, and today is no different. He usually doesn’t eat breakfast, since he often runs late after hitting the gym and just grabs a muffin at Starbucks when he stops for Jared’s peppermint mocha. It’s an indulgence to come here and eat proper meals every day.
“These are excellent, Mama, just like always,” he tells her, forking his fifth pancake onto his plate.
“Thank you.” She lays a hand on the back of his neck and squeezes. “I think your fiancé likes them as well,” she teases.
Looking up from the huge stack of pancakes on his plate, Jared smiles sheepishly. “We should’ve warned you about the Padalecki appetite, Donna. I’ll owe you some groceries before we leave.”
“Nonsense. I enjoy feeding you kids.”
“Which is why you can’t get rid of this loser,” Jensen says, standing up to put his plate in the sink and hip-checking Josh out of the way.
“Not all of us were in a hurry to run away to the big city,” Josh retorts. It’s an old argument between them and never a serious one.
“Sorry, Josh. Richardson was just too small to hold my awesomeness.”
“Whatever.” Josh takes a sip of coffee, then sets the mug on the counter beside him. “So, do you guys have plans for today?”
“Not really. Thought we’d just hang out here.” Jensen narrows his eyes at his brother. He doesn’t like the amused smirk on Josh’s face. “Why?”
“I think it’s time Jared and I have a little brother and soon-to-be-brother-in-law bonding.”
“Oh, no! No! Josh, you are not doing that this time!”
“Is something wrong with that?” Jared asks curiously. He’s sitting back in his chair now, impossibly long legs kicked out in front of him. Jensen tears his eyes away from the tight pull of denim over Jared’s thighs and glares at Josh.
“Nothing. Jensen’s just paranoid.”
“No, I’m not. Where are you taking him?” Jensen asks anxiously. He learned a long time ago not to trust Josh alone with his boyfriends. It’s potentially even more dangerous this time, since Jared’s unlikely to pass any boyfriend test Josh puts him through. And the last thing he needs is Jared to be by himself with anyone in his family. He doesn’t trust Jared any more than Josh.
But Josh only laughs and slides an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Jenny. I’ll bring him back in one piece.”
“You better. And don’t call me that.”
Laughing again, Josh squeezes his shoulder, then steps away. “Come on, Jared. I promise to take good care of you.”
“Josh! No involving the police this time!” he yells before they disappear.
Jared shoots him a worried frown as Josh drags him out of the room.
*****
Jensen’s manning the grill, keeping one eye on the steaks and the other one on Logan and Ryan playing with Spike, when someone walks up behind him and steals the half-empty beer out of his hand.
“Hey! I was drinking that!” he protests, glancing over his shoulder. Jared grins at him and tilts the bottle for a long swallow. Jensen can’t help watching his throat work.
“Thanks, baby. I needed that.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and turns back to the grill. “So I see you made it out of Josh’s bonding time alive and whole.”
“Yep. I know you were worried.”
“Was not,” he counters, inwardly wincing at how childish that sounded. Jensen spent most of the day helping his dad with a woodworking project in the garage, trying not to think about Jared and what he might say to Josh. It hadn’t really been a very effective distraction. “Where did you guys go anyway?”
“Nope, sorry, Jensen. I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
Setting down the tongs, Jensen faces Jared, crossing his arms and giving Jared his best determined face. Problem is, Jared’s an expert at the determined face himself, and Jensen’s just rolls right over him. “What did you do? And what did you tell him?”
“Jesus, Jensen, calm down. I made up a bunch of bullshit about how wonderful our relationship is and how much we love each other. Josh bought it all easily. Truthfully, I’m a little concerned with how gullible your family is.”
“They have no reason to think we’re lying, Jared.”
“Mm,” Jared says noncommittally, then gestures with his chin toward the grill. “Your meat’s burning.”
Jensen swears and whirls around, hastily flipping the steaks.
“You’d think it’d take more to convince them than a few lies about a stupidly romantic proposal story,” Jared muses.
“What do you mean?” He feels Jared move closer but stubbornly stands his ground.
“I mean like touching- hugging, kissing, cuddling, just generally acting like a couple and like we can stand each other,” Jared explains and the next thing Jensen knows, Jared has an arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him in close.
“Whoa!” Jensen exclaims, jumping away like Jared just goosed him. “Watch where you’re putting your hands, buddy!”
“You do realize that when we get back, we’ll have to prove ourselves to Ms. Ferris, right? And she does have reason to think we’re lying. She will easily see right through everything we say to her and how we act. And she determines our future. We’re supposed to be a real couple and unfortunately for us, real couples touch each other. This is good practice for our meeting with Ms. Ferris.”
He’s right, and Jensen hates that he’s right, but he concedes the point with a short nod.
“Just warn me next time, grabby hands.”
Jared bares his teeth in an icy smile and holds his arm out till Jensen reluctantly snuggles back in. It’s not so bad this time since he was expecting it, but it’s still extremely strange. Jared’s warm, heat pulsing off his body and seeping into Jensen wherever they have contact. It’s too much under the hot Texas sun, but Jensen doesn’t pull away, even though he’s starting to sweat and this makes it harder to work the grill. Jared stays plastered to his side until the steaks are ready, finishing Jensen’s beer and laughing at the epic game of tug-o-war going on between the boys and the puppy. Jensen can’t help smiling himself and relaxes a little, though he’s acutely aware of Jared next to him the whole time.
*****
“Food’s done!” Jensen yells and laughs as Logan whoops happily.
He piles all the steaks up on a plate, slipping out of Jared’s hold, and carries it over to the already-crowded picnic table. Everyone rotates around the table, filling their plates before settling into their seats.
“I wanna sit next to Jared!” Ryan announces, standing by Jared with his plate.
Jared looks startled but immediately says, “Sure, kiddo. Come on up here.”
Ryan beams and sets his plate down on the table, then climbs in next to Jared. Jared slides down to make room, which puts him closer to Jensen. He’d move down himself, to get away from Jared’s overwhelming heat, but he thinks about Jared’s little speech about Ms. Ferris and how they need to work on convincing people they’re in love. And, yeah, this is never gonna work if a simple hug or their knees touching sends Jensen running. He has a feeling this won’t work anyway. It’s so much more complicated than he expected, but that doesn’t mean he’s giving up.
“Here, let me do that for you, buddy,” Jared says, and Jensen abruptly tunes back into the conversation. Jared helps Ryan cut up his steak into small bites, Ryan staring at him in fascination the whole time. “You know, when I was about your age, my older brother taught me how to cut his meat, just because he was lazy and that way I did it for him. I used to walk under the dining table to get to his side.”
“There was a time when you fit under a table?” Josh asks incredulously.
“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m a strapping, manly guy.” Jared flexes his bicep, and Jensen swallows, looking away hastily.
“Ignore him, Jared. He’s just jealous about someone else being taller than him,” Jensen says and laughs when Josh pouts.
“You had to bring a giant home, didn’t you, Jenny?”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yes, I did it just to piss you off, Josh. And don’t call me that.”
“So,” Jared says nonchalantly, “I probably shouldn’t mention that my brother is even taller than me, huh?”
Josh’s eyes go comically wide as he mouths holy shit. Jensen shares a grin with Jared, and the shocking warmth of that leaves him unsettled for the rest of the meal.
*****
After Jensen finishes the dishes with his mama, he grabs a beer from the fridge and heads outside to the back deck. Zoe’s sitting against the post on the top step, legs stretched out and a soft smile on her face. Jensen follows her gaze to where Jared’s out in the yard with the boys, Spike chasing after them as they run all over the place.
“What are they doing?” he asks Zoe. Leaning against the top railing, Jensen sets his beer down and squints at the blurry figures now standing in a clump by the big oak tree.
“Catching lightning bugs,” Zoe answers, tipping her head back to look at him. “They’re having a contest, Logan and Ryan against Jared. He’s on his own since he’s so big.”
He smiles, taking a swig of his drink. Now that he’s paying attention, he sees the tiny pinpricks of light as the lightning bugs buzz around. There aren’t very many for this time of year. Jensen remembers fighting off swarms of them while tossing the football with Josh.
“Who’s winning?”
“Not sure really. Ryan keeps running over here to show me every one he catches, and Logan says Jared has an unfair advantage since he’s so much taller than they are. I think they’re mostly just having fun with the whole catch-and-release thing.”
Jared laughs then, the sound carrying distinctly over the distance. It goes right through Jensen and settles in his chest, and he shakes his head to dispel the warm feeling it leaves behind.
“Unfair advantage?” he repeats as a further distraction. “They barely reach his knees!”
Laughing, Zoe nods. “I know. It’s sweet, watching him with the boys. He’s just a big kid himself.”
Jensen never would’ve described Jared that way in a million years, but it seems apt now. He’s clearly as excited about lightning bugs as Logan and Ryan are. “Is that a polite way of telling me my boyfriend is immature?” he jokes.
“No! I swear, it was a compliment!”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
Zoe turns to face him, giving him her full attention. “So. How did you and Jared get together anyway? The way you always talked about him- I guess I just never pictured you with someone like that.”
Jensen’s been dreading this question all weekend. He’s surprised no one has asked before now. He’d rather not answer, so he goes for something vague. “I don’t know. It sorta just happened one day.” When he blackmailed me into marrying him.
“Oh, come on. I don’t want the BS story you gave to everyone else. Tell me the nitty-gritty details.”
“It really isn’t that exciting,” Jensen stalls, but Zoe shoots him a skeptical look, so he gives her the story he and Jared came up with on the plane. “We were working late one night and got to discussing our favorite books. Found out we liked a lot of the same ones. Before we knew it, hours had gone by and people were coming into the office to start work in the morning. He asked me to dinner that night, and things progressed from there.”
“That’s sweet. You bonded over your love of books,” she gushes.
“Yeah, well, we do work at a publishing company. It’s not so unbelievable.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell us about him?”
Jensen shrugs, feeling twitchy under her scrutiny. “Jared wanted to keep it quiet because of work and then it was kinda fun dating in secret, so I just never told anyone. But I figured I couldn’t keep it from Mama anymore once we got engaged.”
“Oh, hell no. She’d kill you,” Zoe agrees.
Just like she’d kill him if she found out about this web of lies he’s tangled in.
They lapse into silence then, content to listen to the kids laugh and squeal as they chase bugs. It’s a little cooler now that the sun has gone down but not by much. He still feels like he’s melting. Josh always used to tease him about growing soft in New York, since he can’t take the heat anymore, but Josh nearly froze to death the first time he experienced a real winter. He hasn’t said anything to Jensen since.
After awhile, Ryan comes over, scratching his arm and pouting. Logan and Jared walk behind, Spike curled up in Jared’s arms like he just flopped over from exhaustion. Jared drops into a chair and tucks the puppy under his chin. They both look relaxed and content, Spike sprawled over Jared’s chest and Jared with a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. Jensen glances away quickly. Ryan crawls into Zoe’s lap while Jensen makes room for Logan beside him.
“What’s the matter, little man?” Zoe asks.
“Squitos keep biting me,” Ryan responds dejectedly, like it’s the worst thing to ever happen to him. Jensen wishes his own problems were so simple.
“It’s because you taste so sweet.” Zoe tickles him under the chin, and Ryan giggles, squirming around and protesting weakly. “We’ll put some cream on it, okay? We should probably head home anyway. It’s getting late.”
“I’m not tired!” Ryan immediately yells. Jensen ducks his head to hide a smile and out of the corner of his eye, notices Jared do the same thing.
“Well, I am. So say goodbye to Uncle Jensen and Jared and round up your daddy, okay?”
“But Mo-om!” Logan protests, pouting.
“You’ll see us in a couple days at the party, guys,” Jensen reminds them.
Logan sighs, long and loud, like this is such a hardship for him. “All right.”
“But I’m still not tired!” Ryan repeats.
“I know, sweetie.” Zoe nudges him in the side. “Say bye and find your daddy.”
The boys give him and Jared hugs, then drag their feet into the house.
“Oh, to be young and dreading bedtime again,” Jensen laments, and Jared snorts. “They might not be tired, but I am. You ready to head upstairs to bed after they leave?” he asks, then freezes, because that came out way too easily and reminds him way too much of his parents.
But Zoe’s sending them those gooey-eyed looks, like she thinks they’re the most adorable couple ever, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing.
“Drunken Scrabble? Really? That’s what you did in college?”
Jared shrugs with a self-deprecating smile. “It wasn’t exactly a party school.”
“I’ll say.”
“Whatever. I’m in,” Josh announces and rubs his hands to together.
“All right. I’ll go get the alcohol. Mac, can you go find Scrabble?”
This isn’t exactly how he planned to relax after a day of setting up for the party, but no one could think of anything else besides Mac’s board game idea. It appealed even more once Jared suggested turning it into a drinking game as well. It’s not something he expected from Jared- he always seems too in control to enjoy getting drunk.
Jensen comes back with an armful of glasses and a half-empty bottle of rum, the only hard liquor his parents have in the house. Josh and Jared had cleared off the coffee table to make room for the game board. Jensen sets the glasses and bottle down, then sits cross-legged on the floor. Jared settles across from him, Josh and Mac at his sides.
“So, how do we do this? Are there rules?” he asks.
Jared nods as he opens the game and starts setting it up. “Drink when the other player gets a double or triple word score or uses a Z or X. You drink if you pass on a round.”
Sounds simple enough. They each choose their pieces quietly, the silence stretching on for several minutes while they plan their strategies. Jensen doesn’t have a lot to work with- too many vowels, as usual. Luckily, Josh starts them out with a longish word that’s easy to go off. They each have a couple turns before Mac finally has a double word score, and they all take a shot as she watches smugly. The rum is good, smooth and rich. Jensen licks his lips after, then glances up in time to see Jared hastily look away from him, frowning down at the board.
They talk about random things as they play. Logan and Ryan begging to go to Disney World. Mac’s secret crush on the UPS guy that comes into work. The dog Jared had growing up. They laugh a lot, especially at Mac when she blushes over the UPS guy. It’s the most relaxed Jensen’s ever felt around Jared. There’s always so much tension between them, in one way or another, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but Jensen thinks he sees how Jared might be an okay guy. When he’s not ordering Jensen around, at least.
“I can’t imagine doing this with my siblings,” Jared mentions at one point.
“No? You guys don’t get along?” Josh asks.
“It’s not that. Jeff’s kinda-” He pauses, cocking his head to the side and wrinkling his nose. “He’s kinda stuffy, I guess. And even though we’re all of age, he’d probably think we’re too young to sit around drinking in our parents’ family room.”
“His loss, man. I was the one that took Jenny out and got him drunk the first time,” Josh says with a devilish grin. Jensen tunes out his use of Jenny; it’s pointless to complain anymore.
“Really?” Jared looks incredulous, eyes wide and mouth parted.
“Yep. He took me to a party when I visited him at UT my senior year. I threw up on his shoes and passed out in his truck on the way home.” Jensen smiles, remembering. “Mama was so pissed when she found out. She grounded me for weeks, but it was worth it.”
“Wow. You have a seriously cool big brother, Jen.”
Josh smacks Jensen’s arm, smug expression on his face, but Jensen pointedly ignores him. “You’ll never hear me admit it out loud.”
“So how many brothers and sisters do you have, Jared?” Mac asks.
“An older brother and a younger sister,” Jensen answers for him, happy that he knows since there’s still so much about Jared that’s a mystery to him. “Jeff and Megan.”
“Just like you, huh? That’s weird,” Josh says.
“Yeah, ‘cause no one else in the world has an older brother and younger sister,” Jensen replies dryly, rolling his eyes. Jared grins, and Jensen gets lost in his dimples for a moment before he shakes his head and returns his concentration to Scrabble.
It’s probably no surprise that Jared’s winning. They’re running out of room on the board, and the rum left them all pleasantly buzzed.
When Mac tries to discreetly hide a yawn behind her hand, Jensen decides, “We should probably call it a night, guys.”
“Yeah, I should go home before Zoe thinks I got kidnapped or something.”
“And we have a long day tomorrow.”
“45 years,” Mac muses softly. “It’s hard to believe anyone’s stayed married for that long. Do you guys think you’ll make it to 45 years?” She gestures between Jared and Jensen, amusement clear in her eyes, but the question still hits Jensen hard for some reason. He hasn’t really thought much beyond getting through this week. What happens after he and Jared get married? He shares a glance with Jared, and it’s obvious Jared’s having similar thoughts.
“If we don’t kill each other first,” Jensen finally answers, and everyone laughs.
He and Jared walk Josh and Mac to the door, then head up to bed. Jared falls asleep right away, his breathing deep and even and lulling Jensen into a semi-conscious state. It takes a long time for Jensen to fully drop off, though.
As far as Jensen’s concerned, the party is a huge success. There has to be close to 200 people here. Everyone’s laughing and eating and dancing. His parents haven’t stopped beaming at each other. Jensen’s gotten to spend time with so many cousins, aunts and uncles, and family friends that he hasn’t seen in ages. It’s incredible, and Jensen couldn’t be happier.
Right now he’s talking to his gran, who’s approaching 90 but still sharp as a tack. She’s reminiscing, telling him about his grandfather, who died before Jensen was born, and her own wedding. “Giving you tips for when you marry your handsome fiancé,” as she informs him. He just hopes she doesn’t plan to give him tips on the wedding night next.
“Jen.”
Jensen looks up to see Jared standing by the table, hand outstretched toward him.
“Come dance,” Jared urges, but Jensen hesitates.
“I don’t know,” he hedges. “I’ve been watching you dance, Jay. Not so sure I want to get in the way of your flailing arms.” He grins at Jared’s annoyed pout, then yelps when his gran smacks him on the shoulder with her purse.
“Go dance with your fiancé, young man!” she tells him sternly.
Jensen should know better than to disobey her, but he is a little afraid of getting too close to Jared on the dance floor.
“Come on,” Jared says again, and this time Jensen nods.
Jared takes his hand and leads him onto the crowded space. Just as they get there, the DJ announces, “We’re gonna slow it down for awhile, folks, so grab that special someone,” and starts playing a really cheesy love song. It’s like something from a stupid rom-com. Jensen would accuse Jared of planning it that way on purpose if Jared didn’t look just as surprised.
Jared recovers quicker and shrugs, holding his arms out slightly. “May as well, right? Consider it practice for the reception we’ll need to stage for Ms. Ferris’s benefit,” he adds when Jensen fails to move closer.
“Right.”
There’s an awkward moment when they both go for the leading position, and Jensen steps back, face flushed. Jared follows him, though, and places Jensen’s arms around his waist before doing the same with his own arms around Jensen.
“Stop standing so stiff,” Jared murmurs with an annoyed huff. “And closer would be better. I’m pretty sure engaged couples don’t dance three feet away from each other.”
Jensen rolls his eyes, then stumbles when Jared draws him nearer with a hand at the small of his back. They’re now close enough that Jensen can see the moles by Jared’s nose and chin, could probably count the flecks of gold in his eyes if he weren’t avoiding Jared’s gaze so assiduously. Their chests brush with every breath, Jared’s aftershave filling his nose, something woodsy and amazing. Jensen has to stop himself from nuzzling Jared’s neck to find out if he tastes as good as he smells. Instead, he concentrates on not tripping over Jared’s stupidly big feet and waits until he can escape.
“Look at your parents,” Jared says somewhere in the middle of the third song, bending down to talk directly in Jensen’s ear.
Suppressing a shiver, Jensen follows Jared’s gaze to the other side of the dance floor to where his parents are, wrapped tight in one another’s arms and eyes only for each other. Jensen’s heart aches for a long moment, watching them like that and knowing he probably won’t ever have a relationship like that. It’s not something he’ll have with Jared, that’s for sure.
Growing up, Jensen thought his parents were embarrassing, the way they’d kiss and hold hands- where other people could see them! As he got older and started dating, though, he realized he wanted that for himself. He wants a marriage like theirs- loving, partners, each other’s strength. This farce of a marriage to Jared is so far off from what he ever expected. Watching his parents dance and carry on like a couple half their age, Jensen regrets saying yes to Jared. Not for the first time, certainly, but it’d been happening less and less over the last couple days. But he can’t back out now, won’t back out. Jared needs him, and he’s more inclined to help after seeing the more human side of the demanding asshole he’s used to. Doesn’t mean he’s exactly happy about it, but he’s less pissed.
Except his parents are making him change his mind yet again.
Jensen starts at the sudden hand on his back but relaxes when he sees Mac.
“Hey, Jared. Do you mind if I cut in and dance with my brother for awhile?” she requests playfully, giving Jared an exaggerated pleading look.
“I guess I can tear myself away for a little while.” Jared actually sounds genuinely regretful about leaving. Jensen’s impressed. They’re getting better at this lying thing. “Don’t step on her toes, Jen,” he adds as he leaves. He leans in close, and for a second Jensen’s afraid Jared’s going to kiss him, but he only grins and squeezes the side of Jensen’s neck.
Mac easily slips into the traditional waltz position he used whenever they danced when they were younger. This time she doesn’t stand on his feet, though.
“I think our party is a success. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Definitely. Mama and Dad are having fun, and that’s the most important thing.”
“They’re acting kinda sickeningly sweet tonight.”
“I think it’s great.”
“No, it is. You’re lucky you found someone you can have that with,” Mac sighs wistfully.
Jensen winces inwardly, then covers the awkward pause with a joke. “You could have it, too, if you’d ask out the hot UPS guy. Your one true love.”
Huffing, Mac socks him on the arm. “Ha ha.”
“Hey, you never know. Mama and Dad met at work.”
“And that’s how you met Jared.”
“Yeah. That’s how I met Jared,” Jensen says quietly. Can’t he stop talking or thinking about Jared for one minute? He hasn’t gotten any peace since they arrived in Texas.
But then Jared goes by with Logan and Ryan, doing some sort of strange mix of hip hop and two-step, and Jensen can’t help the stupid grin that spreads across his face. That’s been happening more and more lately.
“All right, folks,” the DJ says at the end of that song. “We’re taking a break for a few minutes while the lovely couple cuts the cake. See you back on the dance floor soon!”
It takes two of the serving staff to wheel out the cart with the massive cake on it. They ordered the cake from Donna’s favorite bakery, the same one that made all their birthday cakes growing up. This one has four layers, each one a different flavor since no one could choose just one. Purple icing lilacs cascade down the side to match the bouquet she carried at the wedding. It’s beautiful, and Jensen knows it’ll taste even better.
Donna calls them up for pictures before they cut the cake, including Zoe, Jared, and the boys. Jensen feels a pang at that, hopes no one regrets having Jared join the family pictures later. Jensen stands there while the photographer climbs on a chair to better fit everyone in the frame, a beaming Donna on one side and Jared on the other, warm, close, his arm feeling too good around Jensen’s waist. This can’t end soon enough.
But Jared doesn’t remove his arm when their group breaks up and moves to the side, and Jensen suddenly finds himself not in as much of a hurry to get away.
Everyone’s so exhausted from the party and massive cleanup afterwards that they don’t do much the next day, except sleeping in and hanging around the house.
The only time they leave is when Jensen takes Jared to his favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. The place is a dive, but the food is incredible. Jensen drags everyone he knows there eventually.
They all congregate later in the evening for a family movie night. Jensen realizes Josh and Mac usually have other things to do, and he really appreciates how much time they’re spending at home with him. He loves New York and the life he’s established there, but he misses Texas and his family. Jensen should’ve made that another stipulation in their deal besides the promotion- more time off, more opportunity to come home to Texas.
“Hey, has anyone seen Jared?” he asks in the middle of their argument on what movie to choose.
“He was just here, wasn’t he?” Mac looks around the living room, then shrugs. “Maybe in the kitchen?”
“Yeah, probably. You guys pick whatever you want. I’m gonna go find Jared.”
“Aw, isn’t that sweet? He can’t be away from his boyfriend for five minutes without getting twitchy,” Josh mocks.
“That would be funnier if your wife didn’t have you so whipped, asshole.”
Laughing, Jensen ducks away from the punch Josh aims at his shoulder, then hurries out of the room before Josh decides to chase after him.
Jared isn’t in the kitchen or upstairs. Jensen gets a feeling in his gut, unsettled and worried, but can’t figure out why, except he somehow knows something’s wrong with Jared.
Jensen finally tracks Jared down outside on the back deck, sitting on the steps with his shoulders bowed. The faint moonlight makes his dark hair glow and his skin seem unearthly pale. He barely reacts when Jensen walks outside, just a slight tensing of his muscles, and Jensen approaches him slowly.
“Hey,” Jensen says softly. “What are you doing out here?”
Jared shrugs and half-turns to glance at Jensen. The sadness in his eyes surprises Jensen, especially since he was smiling and goofing around with Logan and Ryan 20 minutes ago.
“Just needed some air,” Jared answers, gaze returning to his hands where a lightning bug just landed. His knuckles are red. Jensen has always found that bizarrely sexy. He flicks his fingers, sending the bug into the air to join the other ones nearby.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Nah, go ahead.”
Jared scoots over to make room for Jensen, and Jensen settles next to him, close enough for their arms and thighs to brush. Jensen tries to ignore the incredible heat coming off Jared’s body.
“You okay, man?” Jensen asks.
“Yeah, it’s just-” Jared pauses, twisting his fingers around and frowning. “Your mom reminds me so much of mine. I guess I just miss my family. I haven’t talked to them in so long.”
“You’ve been busy. I know firsthand how hard you work, Jared.”
“Yeah, but at what cost?” Jared makes an angry noise in the back of his throat and shakes his head, which only makes his already unruly hair even messier. Jensen’s never seen him with a hair out of place till this week. He likes Jared a little disheveled and not quite so put-together.
“I haven’t been home in six years,” Jared elaborates. “I missed my little sister’s college graduation. My niece was over a year old before I met her. I told myself it didn’t matter, that my career was more important and I’d have plenty of time later for family and dating and everything. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am.”
“I know that,” Jensen interrupts. They might not be best friends professionally, but Jensen sees every day how dedicated Jared is to publishing good books, and not just for the well-established authors. He also searches for first time writers that probably wouldn’t get a chance anywhere else.
Snorting, Jared rakes a hand back through his hair. “Then you’re the only one.”
Jensen flushes. Of course Jared’s aware of the rumors that he slept his way up the corporate ladder. Jensen suddenly regrets any time he talked about Jared to his coworkers. He’s starting to realize Jared didn’t deserve any of it.
“You’re excellent at what you do, Jared. It takes sacrifice to get ahead. Yeah, that sucks sometimes, but we all do it.”
“You manage to balance it pretty well.”
“Not always.” Jensen doesn’t mention the birthday parties and holidays he’s missed because Jared needed him at work.
“When’s the last time you were home?”
“Christmas, so almost six months.”
“Six months. I haven’t been home in six years. Being here, seeing you with your family, just reminds me I haven’t been a very good son or brother or uncle lately.”
“That’s not true. I know for a fact you’ve flown your whole family to New York a few times, because you made me arrange their travel plans.” Knocking their shoulders together, Jensen smiles, his stomach fluttering when Jared smiles back. “They know you love them, Jared. Don’t be so hard on yourself about it.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
He doesn’t exactly sound convinced. The dejection in his voice upsets Jensen. When did he start caring whether Jared’s sad about something?
“Hey.” Jensen waits till Jared turns to face him before continuing. “I’m not gonna lie and say you can’t do better, but I honestly don’t think you’re as bad as you seem to. They’re your family. They understand and they love you. A phone call every now and again couldn’t hurt, though,” he finishes with a grin, and Jared snorts a laugh, one dimple flashing before his face grows serious again.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
Jensen’s surprised by his earnestness. Jared’s been surprising him a lot this week.
“You’re welcome,” he replies, voice as soft as Jared’s had been.
It seems natural to squeeze Jared’s thigh in reassurance, until Jared blushes faintly and Jensen realizes how comfortable he’s getting with having Jared so close. This time, though, neither of them moves or looks away like they usually do. Jensen licks his lips nervously and watches Jared’s focus zero in on his mouth. He freezes, body tense in anticipation of something. Jared shifts, and he somehow feels so much closer to Jensen, though he didn’t exactly move. A million versions of the next few moments flash through Jensen’s mind. He honestly has no idea what to expect, but he knows what he wants.
A minute later, while they’re still locked in place, Mac breaks the moment by stepping out onto the deck behind them.
“We’re about to start the movie. You guys coming?” she asks, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the air between them.
Jensen sucks in a deep breath and forces his eyes away from the terrifying, intense look on Jared’s face. “Yeah. Be there in a minute,” he replies, voice gruff.
Mac nods and heads back inside. Jensen’s torn between wanting to run after her to get away from Jared or staying to see if they can recapture the mood. Jared takes the decision out of his hands by standing up and clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Thanks. Again. For the stuff about my family. You’re right and just, thanks,” Jared says.
“No problem.” He glances up at Jared, surprised and happy to see how at ease he is now. It’s as if he left Mr. Padalecki in New York and Jensen’s getting to see Jared for the first time.
Jared turns to go inside, but Jensen remains sitting. “Are you coming?” Jared gives him a quizzical look, brows drawn together.
“Yeah. Tell them not to wait for me. I just need to take care of something real quick.”
“Okay.”
As soon as Jared’s gone, Jensen slips his phone out of his pocket, an idea quickly forming in his head. He just hopes Jared doesn’t kill him for what he’s about to do.
*****
Jared’s already in bed when Jensen gets upstairs after saying goodbye to everyone. Jensen empties his pockets, dumping his phone and a couple interesting rocks that Ryan gave him onto the dresser. Jared’s iPhone is half-leaning against the lamp, and Jensen realizes with a start that this is the first time he’s seen it since the airport. That’s amazing, considering Jared never usually puts the thing down. Come to think of it, Jared hasn’t mentioned work once. It’s strange and not like Jared at all.
Shaking his head, Jensen changes in the bathroom and brushes his teeth, then drags his blankets and pillow out from under the bed, sighing quietly.
“Get up here,” Jared demands suddenly.
“What?” Jensen drops his armful of blankets and sits up on his knees, staring in confusion at Jared’s hair spilled over the pillow, the only part of him Jensen can see from his position.
“Seriously, Jensen, there’s no reason for you to sleep on the floor. We can share the bed. I promise I won’t hog the covers.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“We’re adults. We should be able to sleep in the same bed without a problem.”
“I don’t-”
“Jensen. Get up here.”
He’s conditioned to react to that commanding voice, so it’s not really a surprise when he finds himself agreeing. He grabs a pillow from the floor and shuffles over to the bed. Jared’s already curled on his side, knees bent and one hand tucked between his cheek and the pillow. Jensen climbs in and lies down on his back, as close to the edge as possible without falling off. Jared snorts softly but doesn’t say anything while Jensen reaches over to switch off the light. It’s a big bed, but that space shrinks when you have a giant like Jared next to you. Jensen listens to Jared’s breathing in the dark for a few moments, trying to relax. He’s exhausted, though, so it doesn’t take long for his eyes to slip closed.
“Night, Jensen,” Jared murmurs quietly.
“Night, Jared.”
Part 3