FF: Laws of Thermodynamics
Title: Laws of Thermodynamics
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG
Summary: Energy cannot be created or destroyed; in any process, the total energy in the universe remains constant.
Spoilers through "Fetal Position"
Companion of sorts of “Laws of Motion.”
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Telling her “no” had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. She’d come into his office late, when the roar of the hospital had muted to a dull hum, looking tense and wary. He’d watched the hope fizzle out of her eyes with the slow shake of his head, and hadn’t bothered with deeper explanations as she walked away.
He knew she tried anyway, but he didn’t ask too many questions, until he noticed she was pregnant. When she suddenly wasn’t, he stopped prying. There wasn’t much he could say.
It wasn’t as if he disliked children. He actually enjoyed pediatrics, if it weren’t for the parents. Most kids didn’t have sociological preconceptions about appropriateness wired in yet, and made reasonably honest patients. He had just never considered himself a father figure, and even after Cuddy’s denied request, didn’t feel he’d ever be up to it. That was for other men, without limps and addictions.
This patient had made him reconsider that drive to reproduce. His goal had been to keep Emma alive; she was his patient, not her baby. Watching Cuddy’s ferocious drive to save both of them, however, had been something of a revelation. He had known she was opinionated and determined, but here it had surprised even him.
If she hadn’t insisted on the surgery, the baby’s hand would never have wrapped around his finger. He sat, flexing at the knuckle and watching the articulation of his own digits, that not so long ago had been wrapped in an impossibly tiny likeness. Though he would never admit it, he was a little awed.
In that reflexive gesture had been a glimpse of understanding. He understood, then, what Cuddy had been seeking, what she’d truly been asking of him. It was almost enough to send him reaching for the phone, to offer his assitance.
Instead, he brushed his thumb along the ghost of the baby’s grip, and reached for the remote control. He skipped past Nickelodeon and a nursery repainting on TLC before settling onto an old Carlin special on HBO.
****
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG
Summary: Energy cannot be created or destroyed; in any process, the total energy in the universe remains constant.
Spoilers through "Fetal Position"
Companion of sorts of “Laws of Motion.”
****
Telling her “no” had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. She’d come into his office late, when the roar of the hospital had muted to a dull hum, looking tense and wary. He’d watched the hope fizzle out of her eyes with the slow shake of his head, and hadn’t bothered with deeper explanations as she walked away.
He knew she tried anyway, but he didn’t ask too many questions, until he noticed she was pregnant. When she suddenly wasn’t, he stopped prying. There wasn’t much he could say.
It wasn’t as if he disliked children. He actually enjoyed pediatrics, if it weren’t for the parents. Most kids didn’t have sociological preconceptions about appropriateness wired in yet, and made reasonably honest patients. He had just never considered himself a father figure, and even after Cuddy’s denied request, didn’t feel he’d ever be up to it. That was for other men, without limps and addictions.
This patient had made him reconsider that drive to reproduce. His goal had been to keep Emma alive; she was his patient, not her baby. Watching Cuddy’s ferocious drive to save both of them, however, had been something of a revelation. He had known she was opinionated and determined, but here it had surprised even him.
If she hadn’t insisted on the surgery, the baby’s hand would never have wrapped around his finger. He sat, flexing at the knuckle and watching the articulation of his own digits, that not so long ago had been wrapped in an impossibly tiny likeness. Though he would never admit it, he was a little awed.
In that reflexive gesture had been a glimpse of understanding. He understood, then, what Cuddy had been seeking, what she’d truly been asking of him. It was almost enough to send him reaching for the phone, to offer his assitance.
Instead, he brushed his thumb along the ghost of the baby’s grip, and reached for the remote control. He skipped past Nickelodeon and a nursery repainting on TLC before settling onto an old Carlin special on HBO.
****