FF: Fidelity
Title: Fidelity
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG
Summary: House and Cuddy, in nine 100-word drabbles
***
There was no way to blame it on alcohol. For once, they’d both been sober, and they’d been drunk too many times together in the past with nothing happening for it to be the cause now.
Instead, they chose to act like the adults they thought they were, exchanging awkward morning greetings and sincere professions of enjoyment, even as they were silently vowing it would never happen again.
There wasn’t any shame or slinking away, just a goodbye without the promise to call. They saw each other infrequently enough now that the odds of an awkward future encounter seemed slim.
***
He looked her over, imperious as he could manage while half-stoned on morphine and sprawled in a hospital bed. She never backed down, and Stacy had taken to leaving the room when she arrived, too overwrought to deal with their inevitable fireworks.
“You’re recovering well. I’ve got PT coming to talk with you on Thursday-“
“I shouldn’t be recovering from surgery at all! I shouldn’t need for PT! You deliberately-“
“The only thing I deliberately did was save your life. If you want to hold me responsible for that, go ahead.” She walked out without awaiting a response.
***
“So what’s this offer really about, Cuddy?”
“One of my objectives is to improve the hospital’s specialized teaching. You’re the best diagnostician in the country, and creating a department for you would be an asset to the hospital.”
“That’s not a real answer.”
“You need a job. I need a couple of quick and easy things to spruce up the hospital’s programs before I start hitting up the board for the tough stuff.”
“You’re offering a third less than I was making before.”
“And no one else will hire you at all.”
“Fair enough. When do I become your headache?”
***
He didn’t owe her anything, and he liked that. There were comfortably low expectations between the two of them, a long history and few strings going a long way towards keeping things right between them.
She breached that unspoken agreement when she asked for help with the fertility treatments. It was well and truly broken when she asked him to do more than give shots. Impossible as it was to say no, it was as equally implausible for him to agree to this.
Her eyes held his forever as he contemplated, weighing his words more carefully than he ever before.
***
Life had never been easy, and he’d come to anticipate that what he wanted would eventually end up distorted into some sort of monkey paw wish. Things, for a moment, had seemed to reach stasis. He should have known it wouldn’t last.
Too much hung in the balance for a tipping point to be far off. Even the expected would have been enough to cause turbulence. The unexpected, a madman with a bullet out of the blue, was far more radical than even he would have predicted.
He drifted up from the coma haze, trying to assess life and limb.
***
Hot grease dripped from the edge of the burger, falling from the oozing cheese onto his thin hospital gown. He ignored it, choosing to savor the juicy goodness with an exaggerated hum of pleasure. Even with his eyes closed, he knew she was rolling her eyes at him.
There was a crunch as she bit into a forkful of salad. He opened one eye and peered across the sesame seed roll at her, quirking a brow and daring her to say anything.
She’d never been one to back down from a challenge. “Careful with the theatrics. You’ll bust your stitches.”
***
Part of him wanted to make an effort, wanted everything to be better, without need for drugs or pain. But that wasn’t in the cards for him, and he was willing to admit that about himself.
She refused to believe it, as she refused to see the worst in him. Instead, she packed him off to rehab, tried to clean up the debris in his wake. There was a lot of it, he knew, but she never protested in front of anyone but him.
To him, she railed and complained and threatened termination, but he knew she’d never follow through.
***
He shuffled through the clinic charts, eyes on her office rather than the paperwork. She hadn’t said anything to about his fellows’ revelation of his non-cancer. He’d expected fireworks, but like everything else, this seemed to slide right off her.
There was nothing over the years that she hadn’t accepted or simply ignored. Even things he’d come to regret, like lashing out at her about that little girl, she’d never breached with him.
Wilson had had a breaking point. Surely there must be one with Cuddy, too. He wondered if finding it might not be too dangerous, even for him.
***
Cuddy turned him down, but there was a twinkle in her eye as she did it. The same bright spark was there when she hit home regarding his jealousy, flaunting her non-date with Wilson.
No, he thought. She wasn’t precisely right in her assessment. She thought he was jealous because he couldn’t have her, not because he cared. He didn’t want to ponder it too deeply now, didn’t have time as he was tangled up with a dying patient, but it was something more than simply wanting what he couldn’t have.
He wanted her for a better reason than that.
***
***
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG
Summary: House and Cuddy, in nine 100-word drabbles
***
There was no way to blame it on alcohol. For once, they’d both been sober, and they’d been drunk too many times together in the past with nothing happening for it to be the cause now.
Instead, they chose to act like the adults they thought they were, exchanging awkward morning greetings and sincere professions of enjoyment, even as they were silently vowing it would never happen again.
There wasn’t any shame or slinking away, just a goodbye without the promise to call. They saw each other infrequently enough now that the odds of an awkward future encounter seemed slim.
***
He looked her over, imperious as he could manage while half-stoned on morphine and sprawled in a hospital bed. She never backed down, and Stacy had taken to leaving the room when she arrived, too overwrought to deal with their inevitable fireworks.
“You’re recovering well. I’ve got PT coming to talk with you on Thursday-“
“I shouldn’t be recovering from surgery at all! I shouldn’t need for PT! You deliberately-“
“The only thing I deliberately did was save your life. If you want to hold me responsible for that, go ahead.” She walked out without awaiting a response.
***
“So what’s this offer really about, Cuddy?”
“One of my objectives is to improve the hospital’s specialized teaching. You’re the best diagnostician in the country, and creating a department for you would be an asset to the hospital.”
“That’s not a real answer.”
“You need a job. I need a couple of quick and easy things to spruce up the hospital’s programs before I start hitting up the board for the tough stuff.”
“You’re offering a third less than I was making before.”
“And no one else will hire you at all.”
“Fair enough. When do I become your headache?”
***
He didn’t owe her anything, and he liked that. There were comfortably low expectations between the two of them, a long history and few strings going a long way towards keeping things right between them.
She breached that unspoken agreement when she asked for help with the fertility treatments. It was well and truly broken when she asked him to do more than give shots. Impossible as it was to say no, it was as equally implausible for him to agree to this.
Her eyes held his forever as he contemplated, weighing his words more carefully than he ever before.
***
Life had never been easy, and he’d come to anticipate that what he wanted would eventually end up distorted into some sort of monkey paw wish. Things, for a moment, had seemed to reach stasis. He should have known it wouldn’t last.
Too much hung in the balance for a tipping point to be far off. Even the expected would have been enough to cause turbulence. The unexpected, a madman with a bullet out of the blue, was far more radical than even he would have predicted.
He drifted up from the coma haze, trying to assess life and limb.
***
Hot grease dripped from the edge of the burger, falling from the oozing cheese onto his thin hospital gown. He ignored it, choosing to savor the juicy goodness with an exaggerated hum of pleasure. Even with his eyes closed, he knew she was rolling her eyes at him.
There was a crunch as she bit into a forkful of salad. He opened one eye and peered across the sesame seed roll at her, quirking a brow and daring her to say anything.
She’d never been one to back down from a challenge. “Careful with the theatrics. You’ll bust your stitches.”
***
Part of him wanted to make an effort, wanted everything to be better, without need for drugs or pain. But that wasn’t in the cards for him, and he was willing to admit that about himself.
She refused to believe it, as she refused to see the worst in him. Instead, she packed him off to rehab, tried to clean up the debris in his wake. There was a lot of it, he knew, but she never protested in front of anyone but him.
To him, she railed and complained and threatened termination, but he knew she’d never follow through.
***
He shuffled through the clinic charts, eyes on her office rather than the paperwork. She hadn’t said anything to about his fellows’ revelation of his non-cancer. He’d expected fireworks, but like everything else, this seemed to slide right off her.
There was nothing over the years that she hadn’t accepted or simply ignored. Even things he’d come to regret, like lashing out at her about that little girl, she’d never breached with him.
Wilson had had a breaking point. Surely there must be one with Cuddy, too. He wondered if finding it might not be too dangerous, even for him.
***
Cuddy turned him down, but there was a twinkle in her eye as she did it. The same bright spark was there when she hit home regarding his jealousy, flaunting her non-date with Wilson.
No, he thought. She wasn’t precisely right in her assessment. She thought he was jealous because he couldn’t have her, not because he cared. He didn’t want to ponder it too deeply now, didn’t have time as he was tangled up with a dying patient, but it was something more than simply wanting what he couldn’t have.
He wanted her for a better reason than that.
***
***