FF: Fine Again
Title: Fine Again
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Another approach to what might have happed
following Scarlett’s sudden self-enlightenment immediately after
Melanie’s death.
Author’s Note: Inspired by a discussion on the rapid unraveling
of Scarlett and Rhett’s relationship at the end of the novel on the
GWTWFanFiction list, I wanted to examine one of the final,
pivotal moments. The two initial passages of text are taken
directly from the novel. Everything else is my own.
****
The carriage rocked to a standstill in front of the flat little house
and Rhett handed her out, trembling, frightened, a sudden feeling
of loneliness upon her, she clasped his arm.
"You’re coming in, Rhett?"
"No," he said and got back into the carriage.
****
She patted Aunt Pitty and went swiftly by her to the front door,
knowing if she stayed in this room another minute, her control
would crack. She had to be alone. And she had to cry or her
heart would break.
She stepped onto the dark porch and closed the door behind her
and the moist night air was cool upon her face. The rain had
ceased and there was no sound except for the occasional drip of
water from the eaves. The world was wrapped in a thick mist, a
faintly chill mist that bore on its breath the smell of a dying year.
All the houses across the street were dark except one, the light
from a lamp in the window, falling into the street, struggled
feebly with the fog, golden particles floating in its rays. It was as
if the whole world were enveloped in an unmoving blanket of
gray smoke. And the whole world was still.
****
Scarlett rested her forehead against one of the pillars of the
porch, feeling tears building, burning behind her eyes, when a
faintly different ribbon of gray against the mist caught in her
peripheral vision. Silently, she turned, resting her cheek against
the weathered wood, and saw for the first time the barely visible
silhouette of Rhett at the far end of the porch, facing away from
her, smoke from his cigar wafting up to blend into the thick mist.
Wordlessly, she moved to sit next to him and rest her cheek on
the soft shoulder of his fine suit. Only then did the tears begin
to stream down her face. Rhett didn’t move, merely continued to
puff occasionally on the cigar as an afterthought.
"She’s dead, then." It sounded obscenely loud, unduly harsh in
the dark silence of early morning, and even more so for the utter
lack of inflection in his voice.
With a sniffle and a stifled sob, she nodded against his shoulder,
not trusting her voice, not even certain she could summon it. Her
movement also brought her incrementally closer to Rhett, and in
that moment she realized that this is where she wanted to be,
where she needed to be. Her only hope was that Melanie had
been right, that Rhett truly did love her, because right now, he
was the only thing she knew she needed, or wanted.
"God rest her. A truly great lady." Rhett lowered his gaze and
tossed the stub of his cigar away, the faint red ember
disappearing into the darkness.
A sad, awkward silence reigned as Scarlett tried to gather her
thoughts and her voice. "Thank you for staying," tumbled first
from her lips, startling even her.
Rhett appeared taken by surprise as well, turning to face her, in
the process forcing her to sit upright and face him. She’d never
been able to read his face well, and it was impossible for her in
this murky chiaroscuro. Choking back a sob, words fell
unbidden from her lips. "I need you now." She bit her lip to
keep from saying more, and looked down into the shadowy yard,
tears continuing down her face.
For a moment, she thought that her words had been ensnared in
the heavy mist, hadn’t made their way to Rhett’s ears. She was
almost grateful, almost wished she could take them back if the
night hadn’t done so. This conversation, she knew, was more
than she could handle tonight. This morning? She was no
longer sure, the hours having blended together and added to her
confusion.
Then he spoke, his voice as gentle as the hand that came to rest
on her shoulder. "I know, Scarlett, I know. Let’s go home
now."
He helped her stand, his arm wrapping around her shivering
frame. It was the first time in her recent memory that she wanted
to be closer to him, nearly wrapped her own arms around him,
trying to find some comfort in this cold, confusing darkness.
Overwrought, she could only stare mutely out the carriage
window as they made their way home through empty streets, the
rhythmic staccato of the horses’ hooves fading eerily into the
heavy silence. When they reached home, she allowed Rhett to
help her inside like an exhausted child, and it was only when they
paused at the front door that she took note of his face. In the
growing golden light radiating from inside the house, she could
see the weariness and strain writ clear. She could feel Rhett
jump minutely when she reached up and traced a hand across his
whiskered cheek and the tender, dark skin under his eyes.
"You…" she couldn’t find the words, couldn’t identify the
sentiment she wanted, even in her own mind. She only knew that
he needed something, as badly as she needed his kindness now.
"We’ll both feel better after a good rest," Rhett recovered
smoothly. "Tomorrow, we can talk."
No more words were exchanged as they entered the house and
made their way to their respective bedrooms.
****
It was still dark when Scarlett startled awake from a fitful
slumber, heart racing and near tears. For a moment, she was
unsure where she was, and then the events of the prior evening
came tumbling back to her consciousness.
On unsteady legs, without a wrapper, her footsteps fell silently
on the hallway carpet as she made her way to Rhett’s door.
Scarlett didn’t know what she was doing, only that she was
troubled and wanted Rhett. She rapped softly, threatening tears
starting to spill over, before opening the door and stepping into
the darkened room. He sat, half-dressed, in a chair, and had
turned away from the empty window to watch as she quietly
crossed the room.
Only when she reached his side did she stop, vision too blurred
by tears and darkness to see his face, unsure of what she should
do. Rhett made the decision for her, finally moving to reach out
and draw her down onto his lap, cradling her as he had after her
nightmares. Her arms embraced him, clinging to him as her tears
soaked through his half-buttoned shirt.
After a few moments, relaxing under the feel of his hands
stroking her back and smoothing her hair, Scarlett composed
herself. Raising her head, she did something she couldn’t
remember the last time she’d done. She kissed him on the
cheek.
In doing so, her momentary surprise at her own action was
quickly overshadowed by the salty taste of his dried tears. "You
were crying," she whispered.
"Yes," he said thickly, not willing to meet her eyes, even in the
dark room.
"We’ve lost a lot this year." Her embrace tightened as she tried
to provide him with some of the comfort she always found when
he strong arms surrounded her.
"Maybe too much." He didn’t return her embrace, but allowed
his hands to remain steady on her back, unmoving, waiting to see
where this dangerous conversation was headed.
"No," she replied emphatically, sitting up, her hands firmly
clasping his shoulders. "I thought I’d lost too much once, just
after the war. I’m not proud of how I managed to get by, but I
did. We can now."
He finally met her eyes, glittering darkly in the faint light coming
through the window. "You came to me for help then, too, and I
couldn’t provide it. I don’t know if I can now."
"But you believed I would be all right then, didn’t you? Even
without your help…looking back, I don’t think even then you’d
have really let my family be turned out of our home." There was
a tone of revelation in her voice, as if she was just realizing it for
the first time herself.
"No, I checked on you as soon as I was released."
"Maybe I just needed that little assurance, knowing you were
there to fall back on, but believing I could get by on my own.
Though I don’t know now that I went about it in the best way
possible…"
"So we’re to cast one another to the wolves and hope for the
best, then?" Rhett’s tone was once more hard and bitter.
"Heavens, no, Rhett! That’s not what I meant at all! What I
mean is that maybe it’s just enough to believe that we can get by,
to believe in each other’s ability to come through this."
"That’s an awful lot of blind faith for two business people such
as ourselves to accept, my pet." The hard tone remained in his
voice, but it was tempered by a hint of wry amusement.
Scarlett, momentarily flustered, toyed with the collar of his shirt.
"But when have either of us ever failed at something we set our
minds to? Some of the things I’ve done haven’t been the best,
but I’ve made up my mind and done them and been damned with
the consequences." Warily, one finger found its way inside his
shirt, and she traced a faint, ridged scar across his pectorals.
"You’ve succeeded against some hard odds, too."
His hand covered hers, stilling her cool fingers against his warm
skin. "Are you ready to commit to us, now? Struggling
together, instead of against each other?"
She dropped her forehead down to rest against their combined
hands. "I can’t struggle against you anymore. I’m too tired. I
just want it to be like when you used to wake me up from my
nightmares and hold me and make everything fine again." There
was more than a hint of childlike innocence in her voice, and she
could do nothing to stop her voice from cracking at the end.
"You have no idea how much I wish I could do that." His free
hand slipped around her waist, pulling her close.
"Last spring-was it just last spring?-you said we could go
away, start over. Could we still, after Melly’s funeral?"
"I can think of nothing I’d like better than a fresh start with you,
Scarlett. Frankly, I don’t care if we decide to move away from
here permanently."
She shook her head, almost imperceptibly, against his chest.
"Not permanently. I’ll always want to come back to Tara. And
to visit…" she trailed off, unable to finish, to list the names of all
those she’d lost in less than a decade.
"Shh," he soothed. "I understand. We can work out the
details later. Let’s try to get some sleep now. The sun’s not
risen yet, and we’ve got a lot ahead of us."
Rhett lifted her easily and they settled into the bed, his body
cradling hers. Scarlett felt, for the first time in a long while, that
things might just be fine again one day.
****
End
****
Author: Ellie
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Another approach to what might have happed
following Scarlett’s sudden self-enlightenment immediately after
Melanie’s death.
Author’s Note: Inspired by a discussion on the rapid unraveling
of Scarlett and Rhett’s relationship at the end of the novel on the
GWTWFanFiction list, I wanted to examine one of the final,
pivotal moments. The two initial passages of text are taken
directly from the novel. Everything else is my own.
****
The carriage rocked to a standstill in front of the flat little house
and Rhett handed her out, trembling, frightened, a sudden feeling
of loneliness upon her, she clasped his arm.
"You’re coming in, Rhett?"
"No," he said and got back into the carriage.
****
She patted Aunt Pitty and went swiftly by her to the front door,
knowing if she stayed in this room another minute, her control
would crack. She had to be alone. And she had to cry or her
heart would break.
She stepped onto the dark porch and closed the door behind her
and the moist night air was cool upon her face. The rain had
ceased and there was no sound except for the occasional drip of
water from the eaves. The world was wrapped in a thick mist, a
faintly chill mist that bore on its breath the smell of a dying year.
All the houses across the street were dark except one, the light
from a lamp in the window, falling into the street, struggled
feebly with the fog, golden particles floating in its rays. It was as
if the whole world were enveloped in an unmoving blanket of
gray smoke. And the whole world was still.
****
Scarlett rested her forehead against one of the pillars of the
porch, feeling tears building, burning behind her eyes, when a
faintly different ribbon of gray against the mist caught in her
peripheral vision. Silently, she turned, resting her cheek against
the weathered wood, and saw for the first time the barely visible
silhouette of Rhett at the far end of the porch, facing away from
her, smoke from his cigar wafting up to blend into the thick mist.
Wordlessly, she moved to sit next to him and rest her cheek on
the soft shoulder of his fine suit. Only then did the tears begin
to stream down her face. Rhett didn’t move, merely continued to
puff occasionally on the cigar as an afterthought.
"She’s dead, then." It sounded obscenely loud, unduly harsh in
the dark silence of early morning, and even more so for the utter
lack of inflection in his voice.
With a sniffle and a stifled sob, she nodded against his shoulder,
not trusting her voice, not even certain she could summon it. Her
movement also brought her incrementally closer to Rhett, and in
that moment she realized that this is where she wanted to be,
where she needed to be. Her only hope was that Melanie had
been right, that Rhett truly did love her, because right now, he
was the only thing she knew she needed, or wanted.
"God rest her. A truly great lady." Rhett lowered his gaze and
tossed the stub of his cigar away, the faint red ember
disappearing into the darkness.
A sad, awkward silence reigned as Scarlett tried to gather her
thoughts and her voice. "Thank you for staying," tumbled first
from her lips, startling even her.
Rhett appeared taken by surprise as well, turning to face her, in
the process forcing her to sit upright and face him. She’d never
been able to read his face well, and it was impossible for her in
this murky chiaroscuro. Choking back a sob, words fell
unbidden from her lips. "I need you now." She bit her lip to
keep from saying more, and looked down into the shadowy yard,
tears continuing down her face.
For a moment, she thought that her words had been ensnared in
the heavy mist, hadn’t made their way to Rhett’s ears. She was
almost grateful, almost wished she could take them back if the
night hadn’t done so. This conversation, she knew, was more
than she could handle tonight. This morning? She was no
longer sure, the hours having blended together and added to her
confusion.
Then he spoke, his voice as gentle as the hand that came to rest
on her shoulder. "I know, Scarlett, I know. Let’s go home
now."
He helped her stand, his arm wrapping around her shivering
frame. It was the first time in her recent memory that she wanted
to be closer to him, nearly wrapped her own arms around him,
trying to find some comfort in this cold, confusing darkness.
Overwrought, she could only stare mutely out the carriage
window as they made their way home through empty streets, the
rhythmic staccato of the horses’ hooves fading eerily into the
heavy silence. When they reached home, she allowed Rhett to
help her inside like an exhausted child, and it was only when they
paused at the front door that she took note of his face. In the
growing golden light radiating from inside the house, she could
see the weariness and strain writ clear. She could feel Rhett
jump minutely when she reached up and traced a hand across his
whiskered cheek and the tender, dark skin under his eyes.
"You…" she couldn’t find the words, couldn’t identify the
sentiment she wanted, even in her own mind. She only knew that
he needed something, as badly as she needed his kindness now.
"We’ll both feel better after a good rest," Rhett recovered
smoothly. "Tomorrow, we can talk."
No more words were exchanged as they entered the house and
made their way to their respective bedrooms.
****
It was still dark when Scarlett startled awake from a fitful
slumber, heart racing and near tears. For a moment, she was
unsure where she was, and then the events of the prior evening
came tumbling back to her consciousness.
On unsteady legs, without a wrapper, her footsteps fell silently
on the hallway carpet as she made her way to Rhett’s door.
Scarlett didn’t know what she was doing, only that she was
troubled and wanted Rhett. She rapped softly, threatening tears
starting to spill over, before opening the door and stepping into
the darkened room. He sat, half-dressed, in a chair, and had
turned away from the empty window to watch as she quietly
crossed the room.
Only when she reached his side did she stop, vision too blurred
by tears and darkness to see his face, unsure of what she should
do. Rhett made the decision for her, finally moving to reach out
and draw her down onto his lap, cradling her as he had after her
nightmares. Her arms embraced him, clinging to him as her tears
soaked through his half-buttoned shirt.
After a few moments, relaxing under the feel of his hands
stroking her back and smoothing her hair, Scarlett composed
herself. Raising her head, she did something she couldn’t
remember the last time she’d done. She kissed him on the
cheek.
In doing so, her momentary surprise at her own action was
quickly overshadowed by the salty taste of his dried tears. "You
were crying," she whispered.
"Yes," he said thickly, not willing to meet her eyes, even in the
dark room.
"We’ve lost a lot this year." Her embrace tightened as she tried
to provide him with some of the comfort she always found when
he strong arms surrounded her.
"Maybe too much." He didn’t return her embrace, but allowed
his hands to remain steady on her back, unmoving, waiting to see
where this dangerous conversation was headed.
"No," she replied emphatically, sitting up, her hands firmly
clasping his shoulders. "I thought I’d lost too much once, just
after the war. I’m not proud of how I managed to get by, but I
did. We can now."
He finally met her eyes, glittering darkly in the faint light coming
through the window. "You came to me for help then, too, and I
couldn’t provide it. I don’t know if I can now."
"But you believed I would be all right then, didn’t you? Even
without your help…looking back, I don’t think even then you’d
have really let my family be turned out of our home." There was
a tone of revelation in her voice, as if she was just realizing it for
the first time herself.
"No, I checked on you as soon as I was released."
"Maybe I just needed that little assurance, knowing you were
there to fall back on, but believing I could get by on my own.
Though I don’t know now that I went about it in the best way
possible…"
"So we’re to cast one another to the wolves and hope for the
best, then?" Rhett’s tone was once more hard and bitter.
"Heavens, no, Rhett! That’s not what I meant at all! What I
mean is that maybe it’s just enough to believe that we can get by,
to believe in each other’s ability to come through this."
"That’s an awful lot of blind faith for two business people such
as ourselves to accept, my pet." The hard tone remained in his
voice, but it was tempered by a hint of wry amusement.
Scarlett, momentarily flustered, toyed with the collar of his shirt.
"But when have either of us ever failed at something we set our
minds to? Some of the things I’ve done haven’t been the best,
but I’ve made up my mind and done them and been damned with
the consequences." Warily, one finger found its way inside his
shirt, and she traced a faint, ridged scar across his pectorals.
"You’ve succeeded against some hard odds, too."
His hand covered hers, stilling her cool fingers against his warm
skin. "Are you ready to commit to us, now? Struggling
together, instead of against each other?"
She dropped her forehead down to rest against their combined
hands. "I can’t struggle against you anymore. I’m too tired. I
just want it to be like when you used to wake me up from my
nightmares and hold me and make everything fine again." There
was more than a hint of childlike innocence in her voice, and she
could do nothing to stop her voice from cracking at the end.
"You have no idea how much I wish I could do that." His free
hand slipped around her waist, pulling her close.
"Last spring-was it just last spring?-you said we could go
away, start over. Could we still, after Melly’s funeral?"
"I can think of nothing I’d like better than a fresh start with you,
Scarlett. Frankly, I don’t care if we decide to move away from
here permanently."
She shook her head, almost imperceptibly, against his chest.
"Not permanently. I’ll always want to come back to Tara. And
to visit…" she trailed off, unable to finish, to list the names of all
those she’d lost in less than a decade.
"Shh," he soothed. "I understand. We can work out the
details later. Let’s try to get some sleep now. The sun’s not
risen yet, and we’ve got a lot ahead of us."
Rhett lifted her easily and they settled into the bed, his body
cradling hers. Scarlett felt, for the first time in a long while, that
things might just be fine again one day.
****
End
****