Title: Memory Palace
Author: Ellie
elliestories Rating: PG
Peter/Olivia
Spoilers: Post "Lysergic Acid Diethylamide" (3.19)
Summary: "Where would I find you?"
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He lay heavy and languid in the bed next to her, exhausted from loving her, and from tripping through her mind. She, however, still felt electrified, unable to stop the whirl of her mind as it spun up the images and memories broken free by the presence of Peter, Walter, and Bell.
"You found me," she said, tracing a finger along his collarbone, still damp with sweat.
"Always," he mumbled, voice rough and drowsy.
She pillowed her head on his shoulder and whispered, "Where would I find you?"
"Ah." She felt him shift under her, turning just a bit and wrapping one arm around her. He was quiet for a long time, and she almost thought he wasn't going to answer her. "Mom and I lived up at Reiden Lake most of my childhood."
"You'd go back there?" Knowing his history, it astonished her, and she raised her head slightly, trying to read his face in the room's darkness.
A finger touched her cheek, urging her head back down on his shoulder. "Shh, I'm telling a story. And you went back to Jacksonville."
Against his warm skin, she nodded slightly.
"Mom quit working to stay with me as a kid. She was a professor before, specializing in folklore and fairy tales. She told the best bedtime stories, but could also spin a story that would make your hair stand on end. Maybe it's not very manly to admit, but right now I'm feeling secure in that point, so I'll say that maybe because of those stories, I ended up with ideas about...something, someone, living at the bottom of the lake. Mermaids, maybe, or naiads."
"Naiads?" She smiled, a exhaling a little laugh as his finger on her lips quieted her again. She kissed it lightly as he continued his tale.
"I used to row out in the little rowboat we had, into the lake, looking for..someone. Something. I was so sure there was something there. In the summer, I'd scare Mom to death, swimming down to the bottom looking. I'd stay under so long she thought I must have drowned. As I got older and could row farther, I started going out to a little island at the far end of the lake.
"When I was eleven, maybe twelve, and things really got uncomfortable between Mom and Walter, I started slipping out at night. From the house, there was a path through the trees, so dark at night you couldn't see where you were going unless it was a full moon. I learned the way so well I didn't need any light. After fifty yards in the dark, you came to the lake, wide and bright. There was an old wood dock, maybe another fifty yards along the shore. Just big enough and into deep enough water to dive in the summer, and tie up a little row boat. At night, the lake was dark and still, like a black mirror, and we were far enough away from the city that you could see thousands of stars reflected in it."
Against his warm skin, she hummed, eyes closed, imagining the young Peter, gazing up at the heavens, alone on the water in a creaky little boat.
"Rowing across the water broke the mirror, though, created silver waves in the black water. When I reached the island, there wasn't a dock, or even much land to it, just a clump of trees and a few ducks' nests. I had to pull the boat up into the reeds and wade to the shore. There was a clearing at the center of the trees, almost like a fairy ring. I'd go lay in the middle of it, flat on my back looking up at the sky.
"I don't know how it was for you, with your mom and stepdad, but there was never any shouting with Mom and Walter, at least that I heard. They avoided interacting as much as possible, in the end. It was always so damn quiet. But at night, laying on that islet in the middle of the lake, looking up at the stars, I was surrounded by the hum of the world. The water lapping at the shore, the wind in the reeds, the rustle of the breeze through the leaves, frogs, buzzing insects, the owls and ducks and whatever little animals were scurrying about in the night. The house was a tomb, but out there, it felt alive. Not the way it is in a city, with swarms of people, but...peaceful."
She nodded against his shoulder, humming her understanding. It's not at all what she would have expected from him, but many days she's not even sure he knows what to expect from himself. On another night, she might have gotten a different answer from him.
Exhaling in a long, slow, sigh, he said, "Looking back now, I know things weren't quite what I thought then. I should never want to see that lake again. But then, I could just go forget myself for a while. I don't know that I've ever found any other place quite like that."
Wrapping one arm across his chest, she squeezed him tightly. "If I'd had somewhere that perfect, I would have gone there, too. There was never anywhere on the base to go."
One of his hands stroked through her hair, twining it between his fingers. "When it gets warmer, we could take a long weekend and go lay out under the stars together. Forget about everything for a while."
"I'd like that," she answered, smiling up at his sleepy face. With a tilt of her head, she was just able to kiss him, lightly, the barest brush of lips. He returned her smile and pulls her close, eyes fluttering closed. He had a long day, while she's been doing nothing for days but hiding in her subconscious. "Sweet dreams."
"You too." This was accompanied by an extra squeeze; he'd held before when she's been jolted awake, terrified and gasping but unable to remember why. Tonight, she might have been frightened by what thoughts were free in her mind, might have expected nightmares, but not now. Closing her eyes, she focused on Peter's vision, walking along a wooded lake, rowing out to a peaceful island, and drifting off to sleep looking up at the glitter of the Milky Way as the world, and his heartbeat, thrummed softly around her.
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